In the Mind of the Walking Encyclopedia - Chapter 8
Author: tainted black (penny@twistedcandy.org)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
------------------------------
Previous:
I jog back to the den, where I see Malfoy attempting to build a fire. He has all these sticks on the ground is rubbing two sticks together vigorously. I suddenly have a mental picture of him in a caveman outfit, going "me ugh malfooooy ooga booga". I clutch at my stomach and laugh. Oh, Merlin, that's hilarious!
Malfoy looks up, his silver eyes piercing into my brown ones. "Glad someone's having fun." He continues to rub the sticks together.
"Oh, hahahahahahahaha!" I point and laugh at him.
He growls. "Stop it. I don't see what's so funny."
"Oooh...gah... Boog..ah, ahahhahaa!"
"Have you lost your ability to speak, Granger?"
There's some sort of spark on the twigs and Malfoy grins triumphedly. I hear background music in my head--"Space Odyssey." You know, that song they play for human civilization. Nuh... Nuh... NUH NUH! Yes, that one. I almost fall to the ground laughing.
The den becomes brighter and Malfoy beams at his 'creation'.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have fire!
-----------------------------------------
"Isn't this the greatest fire you've ever seen?" asks Malfoy, grinning like a little boy in a candy store. "It's warm and toasty."
"Do you really want me to answer that?" I put my hands over the fire. Ahh...warm. I kick five sticks into the fire so that it would be hotter.
"Actually, no." He starts removing his robe. "After all, -I- made it. It probably -is- the best you've ever seen."
"In your dreams," I mutter. Surely one couldn't be born with all -that- arrogance. Where on earth does he get it from?
Fortunately, he doesn't hear my remark, and proceeds to hold his robe over the fire.
"How long do you think it will take to dry the robe?" he asks.
I reach out for the robe, but he pulls it away.
"I didn't say you could touch it," Malfoy sneers. "Just estimate."
"How would I know if I don't know how wet your robes are?" I raise my eyebrow. "They could be partially dry already for all I know. Just let me touch the hem of it, and -then- I'll give you an approximation."
He thinks about it for a second. "No."
Fine with me. I don't care, hmpht. Even though I could probably tell him the precise amount of time it would take him to dry it. Even though I'm about to grab the bloody robe and tell him how long it would take. Even though I'm taking a step closer to him and my arm is starting to reach out--no! Go back! Retreat! My arm drops. Phew.
I take off my robe as well. There's no point in me wearing this dreadful thing--it's soaking wet. I'm surprised I'm not sick. But I better not jinx it by thinking about... I thought about it. Drats. Maybe my luck would hold up just this one time. Please, Merlin! Don't let me get sick. I don't want to get sick. Pretty please? Holding my breath, I wait for an answer.
"You look like a blowfish," Malfoy comments.
Exhaling, I grin. No sneezing. No coughing. I feel good. Perhaps Merlin decided to listen to my pleading this one time. "Better a fish that a ferret."
"Right," he says sarcastically. He looks around and sighs. "This might be your lucky day, Granger."
"Wh--"
Plop.
A black, wet object hits my face. I grab at it with my free hand. It's his robe! Ah ha! So he -does- want me to tell him just how long it would take to dry. I knew it! With my other hand, I begin to feel it. Hm, this shouldn't take -that- long. It's not -all- wet, like mine. It should take fifteen minutes and eighteen seconds. At least it won't take as long as mine. I pat it. Oh, I must admit, this feels nice. It's soft and light.
"It will take fifteen minutes and eighteen seconds," I announce, looking at him. He has taken off his vest and is staring at me incredulously.
"Eighteen seconds?"
I nod.
He shakes his head. "Precise, aren't we? Now stop feeling my robe and give it back. I didn't throw it at you to snuggle with."
"I wasn't snuggling with it!" I purposely throw it at his blond head. He smirks and catches it. Blast it. Why would -I- be snuggling with -his- robe when I have my own? Speaking of my own...where is it? I look around. I just had it a second ago.
"Do you smell something?" He asks.
I sniff the air. "Yes... What is it?"
"It smells like something's..." starts Malfoy.
"Burning!" I finish. I look down at the fire and I see my robe slowly burning. Oh, no, no, no! In my haste to calculate the amount of time his robes would take to dry, I must've dropped it in the fire!
"No!!!!!" I bawl. "No! No!" I try to reach for it with my hands, but pull back. It's too hot to reach in there...
"You klutz!" Malfoy chastises me. He attempts to stomp it out, but it's not putting the fire out. "Did you add more sticks in there or something? I can't stomp it out!"
"N--" I dimly remember kicking in a few more sticks. "Yes."
"Well, say goodbye to your robe. It's a goner," he says. He stops trying to stomp it out.
I bite my lower lip. Merlin, I'm so stupid. Now I don't have any robe to wear. -How- could I have dropped it? Turning away, I sigh and wait for Malfoy to comment on my misfortune. Any second now... Now? ... Now???
I turn back to him. "Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Aren't you going to say anything?" I cross my arms over my chest and look at him expectedly. He is holding his vest in one hand and his robe in the other.
"About...?" He looks at me questioningly.
"About how stupid I am. About how clumsy I am. About something!"
"I already did. I said you were a klutz. Do you want me to say more?"
"And that's -all- you're going to say?" I ask him disbelievingly. He must have more to say than that. I just know it.
He nods. "What else would I say?" Taking on a higher voice, he says shrilly, "Oh, I'm -so- sorry for your loss! That's awful!" His voice returns to normal. "Why would I say a silly thing like -that- for? Rubbish."
I'm speechless. Malfoy isn't as bad as I thought he was. But this doesn't excuse the fact that he has made fun of Harry, Ron, and I for the past five years.
"Oh."
He begins to untie his tie--wait. Just wait a second! He's not planning to strip in front of me, -is- he?!?!
"Wh--what are you doing?" I ask him. "Why are you taking off your tie? What about your vest?"
"My tie and vest are wet. Why else would I take it off?" He smirks. "Did you think I was going to put on a private strip show just for you?"
"N-nn--no!" How did he know?!
His smirk widens as he pulls off the silver and green tie off slowly. Oh, my goodness! I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking! I cover my eyes with my hands. It's disgraceful, it's immoral, it's -Malfoy-! I, Hermione Granger, will -not- look at him.
Hey, how did this hole get here? It won't hurt to take a tiny, little, itty bitty look... I take a peep through the gap between my fingers. He's still smirking, damn it, and he's lethargically unbuttoning the top of his collared white Oxford shirt... I cover the gap with my other hand.
"You can look now," he says.
"No, it's... it's okay. I'm just going to, err, stand here." I face the wall. "And look at this lovely wall."
"No, really, you can look now."
"Are you sure?" Please be dressed! I don't want to see a half naked Malfoy! How disgusting. Just the thought of him standing there with no shirt on is--oh, I mustn't think about that.
"Positive."
I slowly move my feet. "You're dressed?"
"Why don't you turn around all the way and see for yourself?"
Here goes nothing. I gulp and turn around, hands still on my face. I cautiously remove one hand and then the other. And I open my eyes...
He's dressed! In his Oxford! He begins to laugh uproariously.
"You, ahahhahahaha, you, are... so... moral! Why.. HAHAHA, would I do a strip, AHAHA, tease for YOU?"
I feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "You're awful."
"And you are hilarious." He grins widely.
I chuck a stick at him, hitting right in the middle of his forehead. Score!
Rubbing his forehead, he tells me, "There's no need for violence, Granger."
My voice is dripping with sarcasm. "I'm terribly sorry."
He only glowers at me.
I smile. "I take it that we're tied now?"
"Never!"
"Current score: Hermione: two. Malfoy: two."
"You should take into account the--ahem--incident before that." He shakes his tie and smirks. "So I believe I'm still winning. Draco: three, Granger: two."
Drats.
-------------------------------------
3.31.o3 - Another short chapter. Not good, not bad. It's okay, right? ^^; I have a couple more stuff that I was going to add to it, but it wouldn't tie in with the chapter. So, I'll probably have it next chapter. And I don't know about 'Mione here, but I would -love- to see Draco doing a strip tease! xDDDD
Thanks to:
Sunshine Stargirl, Krissy, and Rabid-dragons (*blinks* You went through all of them. HUGE thanks, hehe! And thanks for all those comments, I'm sure I must be turning some brilliant shade of red right now. Oh, yes. And cabbit--surely you remember Tenchi Muyo? xD But I saw a real one before--on Animal Planet. It actually hopped and meowed. ^^; )
Author: tainted black (penny@twistedcandy.org)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
------------------------------
Previous:
I jog back to the den, where I see Malfoy attempting to build a fire. He has all these sticks on the ground is rubbing two sticks together vigorously. I suddenly have a mental picture of him in a caveman outfit, going "me ugh malfooooy ooga booga". I clutch at my stomach and laugh. Oh, Merlin, that's hilarious!
Malfoy looks up, his silver eyes piercing into my brown ones. "Glad someone's having fun." He continues to rub the sticks together.
"Oh, hahahahahahahaha!" I point and laugh at him.
He growls. "Stop it. I don't see what's so funny."
"Oooh...gah... Boog..ah, ahahhahaa!"
"Have you lost your ability to speak, Granger?"
There's some sort of spark on the twigs and Malfoy grins triumphedly. I hear background music in my head--"Space Odyssey." You know, that song they play for human civilization. Nuh... Nuh... NUH NUH! Yes, that one. I almost fall to the ground laughing.
The den becomes brighter and Malfoy beams at his 'creation'.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have fire!
-----------------------------------------
"Isn't this the greatest fire you've ever seen?" asks Malfoy, grinning like a little boy in a candy store. "It's warm and toasty."
"Do you really want me to answer that?" I put my hands over the fire. Ahh...warm. I kick five sticks into the fire so that it would be hotter.
"Actually, no." He starts removing his robe. "After all, -I- made it. It probably -is- the best you've ever seen."
"In your dreams," I mutter. Surely one couldn't be born with all -that- arrogance. Where on earth does he get it from?
Fortunately, he doesn't hear my remark, and proceeds to hold his robe over the fire.
"How long do you think it will take to dry the robe?" he asks.
I reach out for the robe, but he pulls it away.
"I didn't say you could touch it," Malfoy sneers. "Just estimate."
"How would I know if I don't know how wet your robes are?" I raise my eyebrow. "They could be partially dry already for all I know. Just let me touch the hem of it, and -then- I'll give you an approximation."
He thinks about it for a second. "No."
Fine with me. I don't care, hmpht. Even though I could probably tell him the precise amount of time it would take him to dry it. Even though I'm about to grab the bloody robe and tell him how long it would take. Even though I'm taking a step closer to him and my arm is starting to reach out--no! Go back! Retreat! My arm drops. Phew.
I take off my robe as well. There's no point in me wearing this dreadful thing--it's soaking wet. I'm surprised I'm not sick. But I better not jinx it by thinking about... I thought about it. Drats. Maybe my luck would hold up just this one time. Please, Merlin! Don't let me get sick. I don't want to get sick. Pretty please? Holding my breath, I wait for an answer.
"You look like a blowfish," Malfoy comments.
Exhaling, I grin. No sneezing. No coughing. I feel good. Perhaps Merlin decided to listen to my pleading this one time. "Better a fish that a ferret."
"Right," he says sarcastically. He looks around and sighs. "This might be your lucky day, Granger."
"Wh--"
Plop.
A black, wet object hits my face. I grab at it with my free hand. It's his robe! Ah ha! So he -does- want me to tell him just how long it would take to dry. I knew it! With my other hand, I begin to feel it. Hm, this shouldn't take -that- long. It's not -all- wet, like mine. It should take fifteen minutes and eighteen seconds. At least it won't take as long as mine. I pat it. Oh, I must admit, this feels nice. It's soft and light.
"It will take fifteen minutes and eighteen seconds," I announce, looking at him. He has taken off his vest and is staring at me incredulously.
"Eighteen seconds?"
I nod.
He shakes his head. "Precise, aren't we? Now stop feeling my robe and give it back. I didn't throw it at you to snuggle with."
"I wasn't snuggling with it!" I purposely throw it at his blond head. He smirks and catches it. Blast it. Why would -I- be snuggling with -his- robe when I have my own? Speaking of my own...where is it? I look around. I just had it a second ago.
"Do you smell something?" He asks.
I sniff the air. "Yes... What is it?"
"It smells like something's..." starts Malfoy.
"Burning!" I finish. I look down at the fire and I see my robe slowly burning. Oh, no, no, no! In my haste to calculate the amount of time his robes would take to dry, I must've dropped it in the fire!
"No!!!!!" I bawl. "No! No!" I try to reach for it with my hands, but pull back. It's too hot to reach in there...
"You klutz!" Malfoy chastises me. He attempts to stomp it out, but it's not putting the fire out. "Did you add more sticks in there or something? I can't stomp it out!"
"N--" I dimly remember kicking in a few more sticks. "Yes."
"Well, say goodbye to your robe. It's a goner," he says. He stops trying to stomp it out.
I bite my lower lip. Merlin, I'm so stupid. Now I don't have any robe to wear. -How- could I have dropped it? Turning away, I sigh and wait for Malfoy to comment on my misfortune. Any second now... Now? ... Now???
I turn back to him. "Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Aren't you going to say anything?" I cross my arms over my chest and look at him expectedly. He is holding his vest in one hand and his robe in the other.
"About...?" He looks at me questioningly.
"About how stupid I am. About how clumsy I am. About something!"
"I already did. I said you were a klutz. Do you want me to say more?"
"And that's -all- you're going to say?" I ask him disbelievingly. He must have more to say than that. I just know it.
He nods. "What else would I say?" Taking on a higher voice, he says shrilly, "Oh, I'm -so- sorry for your loss! That's awful!" His voice returns to normal. "Why would I say a silly thing like -that- for? Rubbish."
I'm speechless. Malfoy isn't as bad as I thought he was. But this doesn't excuse the fact that he has made fun of Harry, Ron, and I for the past five years.
"Oh."
He begins to untie his tie--wait. Just wait a second! He's not planning to strip in front of me, -is- he?!?!
"Wh--what are you doing?" I ask him. "Why are you taking off your tie? What about your vest?"
"My tie and vest are wet. Why else would I take it off?" He smirks. "Did you think I was going to put on a private strip show just for you?"
"N-nn--no!" How did he know?!
His smirk widens as he pulls off the silver and green tie off slowly. Oh, my goodness! I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking! I cover my eyes with my hands. It's disgraceful, it's immoral, it's -Malfoy-! I, Hermione Granger, will -not- look at him.
Hey, how did this hole get here? It won't hurt to take a tiny, little, itty bitty look... I take a peep through the gap between my fingers. He's still smirking, damn it, and he's lethargically unbuttoning the top of his collared white Oxford shirt... I cover the gap with my other hand.
"You can look now," he says.
"No, it's... it's okay. I'm just going to, err, stand here." I face the wall. "And look at this lovely wall."
"No, really, you can look now."
"Are you sure?" Please be dressed! I don't want to see a half naked Malfoy! How disgusting. Just the thought of him standing there with no shirt on is--oh, I mustn't think about that.
"Positive."
I slowly move my feet. "You're dressed?"
"Why don't you turn around all the way and see for yourself?"
Here goes nothing. I gulp and turn around, hands still on my face. I cautiously remove one hand and then the other. And I open my eyes...
He's dressed! In his Oxford! He begins to laugh uproariously.
"You, ahahhahahaha, you, are... so... moral! Why.. HAHAHA, would I do a strip, AHAHA, tease for YOU?"
I feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "You're awful."
"And you are hilarious." He grins widely.
I chuck a stick at him, hitting right in the middle of his forehead. Score!
Rubbing his forehead, he tells me, "There's no need for violence, Granger."
My voice is dripping with sarcasm. "I'm terribly sorry."
He only glowers at me.
I smile. "I take it that we're tied now?"
"Never!"
"Current score: Hermione: two. Malfoy: two."
"You should take into account the--ahem--incident before that." He shakes his tie and smirks. "So I believe I'm still winning. Draco: three, Granger: two."
Drats.
-------------------------------------
3.31.o3 - Another short chapter. Not good, not bad. It's okay, right? ^^; I have a couple more stuff that I was going to add to it, but it wouldn't tie in with the chapter. So, I'll probably have it next chapter. And I don't know about 'Mione here, but I would -love- to see Draco doing a strip tease! xDDDD
Thanks to:
Sunshine Stargirl, Krissy, and Rabid-dragons (*blinks* You went through all of them. HUGE thanks, hehe! And thanks for all those comments, I'm sure I must be turning some brilliant shade of red right now. Oh, yes. And cabbit--surely you remember Tenchi Muyo? xD But I saw a real one before--on Animal Planet. It actually hopped and meowed. ^^; )