Author's Notes- Whee! The last chapter of this thing actually got reviews! REVIEWS I SAY!! I'm incredibly chipper about it.
Die- *hums to self*
You're still here?
Die- Yup.
Any reason in particular?
Die- Nope.
… Ok then. Anyways, since quite a few of the reviews I got requested this next little bit, I figured hey. What the heck. Give the people what they want. Now, you see, the problem is, I knew exactly how this was going to go at one point… but I kinda, er, forgot… ^_^ Eh heh…
Die- *holding up a Kyo plushie* Can I have this? It's cute. ^_^
Huh? ACK! NO! MINE! *snatches it back*
Disclaimer- *sarcastic drone* But of course I own Outlaw Star. Don't you see my signature just covering the credits of each and every episode? Right.
Warning- Shonen-Ai/Yaoi between Fred and Gene. Considering this is Fred's point of view, things might be a bit more intense, but not really, considering it's only musings. Hm, you never know. There won't be as much cussing this time at least!
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Gene Starwind. An enigma, a paradox. All right, so most people wouldn't think that. Hell, I used to fall into that category. But now, I'm just not so sure. Strange, really.
Of course I'm in love with him. There's no doubt about that. When did I fall in love? Don't know. How? Don't care. There are some things that you just don't question, that you know you have no right to question. This is, obviously, one of those things. Come on, it's love! You don't act skeptical about something that causes your heart to kick your brain out of the control seat.
Definitely, my brain can not be working properly. I think I've fallen in love the single straightest man in the universe. Talk about your poor luck. A real shame… I've been trying to turn him around for quite some time now… You know what? I think I might be starting too. Or I'm starting to become delusional. Oh well, either way, I'll end up happy. Well, yes, the latter will involve me in an insane asylum, but hey, if I'm delusional, who cares!
Right. Me turning Gene around to see my point of view. Ha. It sounds laughable, doesn't it? Fred Luo, managing to seduce one of the most well-known womanizers on Sentinel III. Not to mention other places. Very absurd, not even remotely possible. That, my friend, is where you are wrong.
I doubt I'm hallucinating, I don't seem to be the insane sort. Ok, don't comment on that. I might have to send assassins after you or some-such. So… oh, yes. Me managing to seduce Gene. Hey, I can dream, can't I? And now, I think my dreams are coming true…
I am jumping around quite a bit, aren't I? I should probably stop that… More than likely, yes. Oh well, I probably won't, and there's more than likely nothing I can do about it. Why fight the inevitable? Wait, that word seems to describe Gene's turning me down… maybe it's not as strong a descriptor as I had previously thought. Hm. I'll have to take that into consideration.
Gene. Yes, let's stay on a pleasant topic, shall we? Of course, I'm sure that to some, he's not a very pleasant topic at all, but I'm not in the category of some now am I? No, I'm just that weird, gay merchant that people give the funny looks. And then I manage to swindle away all their money. HA.
Ok, so that last bit was a lie, I admit. But seriously, since when has being gay affected your merchant skill? Since never, thank you very much. I'm not insanely rich for nothing. It really is rather funny when people come in my office expecting one thing, and then seeing me: the exact opposite. Really, I'm not as bad as people think I am.
But really, when people use the word gay, it's a stereotype. No, I do not want to be a woman. I do not enjoy acting like a woman. I don't have a lisp. None of that. I'm attracted to men, that's about it. Well, right now, one man in particular, but that's not on this subject, now is it?
Hm. I was supposed to be talking about Gene, wasn't I? Not my sexual orientation. Oh dear. Well, I'm not sure what there is to say really… Ha, that's a lie. There's so much to say that I don't even know where to begin. Although, considering, I think I already have. Fine, I don't know how to continue, is that a better way of putting it? Yes, I thought I might be.
Well, what is it that I love about Gene. There's something. What is it that I love about him… I don't know. His outlook on life? His care-free nature? His drop-dead gorgeous body? Everything? Hey, let's just say that last one. It fits just about right. I can't find a thing that I don't love about Gene… oh, yes. The fact that he's straight. I'm not too fond of that, really… but I have to respect his decisions. Aw, hell with that. I want him love me, damnit.
Let's stop to think though, shall we? He's not being as cold as he was before. Definitely not. Perhaps… by some wild twist of fate, things are starting to somehow turn around? The die has been cast by a different hand? Maybe. Maybe my love is not in vain. Oh, if only I knew that were true… If only I had more than mere speculations.
Yes, speculations. I have a fear that that is all they are… Let's pretend they're fact, hm? Yes, that sounds like fun. Let's do that. All right, now we can examine the "facts". Yes indeed, I really do enjoy this.
All right, "fact" number one. Gene keeps coming back to see me. Now, the cynical explanation of this would be that he simply needs the money and parts. The positive explanation, however… maybe he actually likes my company? Is it an excuse to see me, perhaps? Maybe the cynical one makes a bit more sense… let's move on.
"Fact" number 2. He hasn't minded me flirting with him lately. Not at all, it seems. He doesn't even mind me hugging him. He used to go tense until I let him go, but now I find him softening in my grip, quite literally. Melting against me, if you will. Once I could have sworn he was leaning against me even. And then there was that one time… Was it just my imagination, or were his hands not at his sides, but rather, a bit closer to me? That gave me good dreams for a month. Give or a take a few… heh.
I say we dwell on that fact for a while… yes, I believe it actually is a fact… unless my nervous system has now turned against me as well. Let's hope that's not true, I might need it in the near future. Hm… I often wonder what would happen if I simply jumped him the next time he walked into my office, didn't take no for an answer.
No, I couldn't take him against his will… I love for him, not lust after him. Ok, so I do that too, but the love kind of over-rules the lust factor. Maybe it's a good thing… yes, I think it is. Love is always best… unrequited love? Well, yes, it does suck, but hey…
Here's a startling question. What if I were to jump him, and he didn't resist? What if he submitted to me, whispering softly that it had all been a façade and he loved me as dearly as I love him, and then 'Oh God Fred, just take me…' Whoops, think I slipped into one of those dreams there… heh. If you couldn't tell, it was a very good dream. Now, what if that dream… somehow, managed to become a reality?
Yes, I think that's my wish for the future now. Hell, that was always my wish for the future… But now I have an entire scenario planned out. Now, if only it were to happen… Hm. Is that too much to hope for, really? Is fairness too much to dream about? Yes, I know life isn't fair, but does this have to be one of those un-fair aspects? Haven't I had enough un-fair-ness? Where's the karma in all of this? It should be swinging in for a visit right about now, hopefully in the form of a certain red-haired pilot.
If only.
A dream, yes, only a dream. No, not only. I have to be positive, don't I? Pretend I believe that, for just one moment, fairy tale romances might actually exist? No, wait, scratch that. Fairy tale romances never involve two men, do they? A fairy tale romance would involve Gene rescuing some princess, and, after knowing her for an absurdly short time, falling in love with her, contrary to all possible reason. Hm, fairy tales are loads of crap, now that I think about it. Maybe that isn't a thing to hope for.
Ok, perhaps… yes, I'll just wish for my dream to come true. It doesn't even have to be the exact replica, just something along those lines. Yes, that's my wish. Maybe I'll stumble across a genie sometime in the near future. Not bloody likely.
But really… it can't be that unlikely. Gene loving me back, I mean. Of course the genie thing is absurd. Come on, I was joking. Be serious. My god, if I had to be serious all the time, I think I'd be a sobbing heap right about now. But… There's always my "facts"… What if they really are?
Everyone knows Fred Luo loves Gene Starwind. What if the feeling is mutual…?
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Author's Notes- Hm, so what do you think? Am I a better Fred than I am a Gene? Hmmm… we should have an entire debate about that. @_@
Die- We who?
… Really, why are you still here?
Die- Because Yami asked me to fill in for him.
Why, pray?
Die- He said something about being busy.
… -_-; Oy. But really, remember what I said last chapter? I might get sued if I use real people in my a/n, this could all be very bad bombin…
Kyo- BWAH.
Oh great. Now there's two of them.
Die- Oi, Kyo-chan! *glomps* ^_^
Kyo- Bwah? Die, what are you doing?
*stares at her fingers in disbelief* WHAT IS POSSESING YOU?! (Review, if you would be so kind. I'll just keep trying to figure out how Dir En Grey members get into my a/n.)
