High in the Sky

by Realitysplitter

*Changed the previous lame title and made a few minor revisions* During a race, four of the SSX snowboarders get abducted by a couple of incompetent Predator aliens.

Hi everyone!! Here's a story I whipped up a while back for a comic I had commissioned. Thought you'd might find it humorous. ^_^

SSX Tricky and it's characters belong to EA Sports. Predator is the property of 20th Century Fox and Fox Interactive. I also must give credit to Jay P for the "Mr. Tatoo" designation of Psymon's tatoo (in his story, "Holiday Wishes", which is a great story, by the way. ^_^ ). It was too good a moniker to pass up...*grin*.

Anyway...enjoy!! ^_^

High in the Sky

Opening scene: A spaceship orbits high above the Earth. Inside the vessel, two bored-looking Predator aliens sit watching a video monitor, one of them pushing buttons on a small control. The scene is rather reminiscent of a human channel surfing on the TV.

1st Predator alien (Speaking to his companion in a series of grunts, growls, and clicks, which are then subtitled in English - for the benefit of the viewers, of course): "It's not fair! Why must we tend the craft while the others go on the glorious hunt?!"

2nd Predator alien (Responding to his partner in the same subtitled language, but still watching the screen while absently fiddling with the 'remote'): "Perhaps because you had the foolish gall to chastise the pack leader."

1st Predator alien (Looking defiantly at his comrade): "It's not my fault that our leader has no sense of humor!"

2nd Predator alien (Giving a "do you really believe that" look back to the 1st alien) "Oh? And I suppose you were being funny when you called him a 'a decrepit, feeble, swamp-mucking excuse of a hunter unworthy of wiping a zenomorph's posterior'?"

1st Predator alien (Very indignant as he waves his arms while shouting his defense): "It was just a figure of speech!!"

2nd Predator alien (Now looking back at the screen with the previous bored expression): "Whatever you say."

1st Predator alien: "But you defended me!"

2nd Predator alien (Still watching the screen): "No, I did not. I simply tried to apologize for your comments. An action I'm beginning to deeply regret." (The alien shows a sudden spurt of interest) "Now this looks interesting."

1st Predator alien (Catches his partner's comment just as he is about to get even more indignant. Looks at the screen and points) "What's that?"

2nd Predator alien (Has a pondering expression): "It appears to be one of those unusual homo-sapien competitions. However, the participants appear to be unusually aggressive toward one another."

1st Predator alien (Glances at his comrade): "What are you considering?"

2nd Predator alien "It's been a while since we conducted a planetary survey. Perhaps some of these humans should be brought to our craft for proper study."

1st Predator alien "But we've already been hunting this planet for centuries!"

2nd Predator alien (Giving his partner a devious look) "True, but it's always best to maintain the most current knowledge of one's prey, is it not?"

1st Predator alien (Now giving a similar evil look while chuckling) "When do we start?"

We now see an overhead view of a wicked mountain course. From this height we can observe the winding paths, masses of cheering crowds lining parts of the course. Panning downward, we focus on several specks that appear to be people racing down the mountain slope on snowboards. Focusing on two of the competitors going around a bend, we see one is a muscular man wearing, black gloves, kakis pants and a sleeveless nearly black shirt with "Cript" written on the front. The other is a young Japanese girl dressed in blue jeans, black tee-shirt, green mittens, and a red and white leather jacket in close pursuit of the muscular man. We close in even further on each of these two racers.

Kaori (With her red rimmed ski goggles pushed up on her forehead, one can easily see the angry expression on her face). "Psymon!! I'll make you sorry for knocking down Brodi-kun!!"

Psymon (Laughing like a maniac as he looks over his shoulder and shouts): "Yeah, right! You and what stuffed-teddy bear army, runt?"

Kaori (Becoming even angrier) "...grr...YOU!!"

Meanwhile, not too far behind Kaori and Psymon, another pair of snowboarders is churning down a straight stretch. One of them is a rather large, heavyset man wearing a blue jean jacket, white tiger-striped pants, and a white tee-shirt that doesn't quite hide his big gut. The other, being pursued by the heavyset individual, has just come off a jump and is doing a crazy mid-air maneuver. He's wearing an orange and yellow Hawaiian shirt over a blue long-sleeved shirt, a blue pair of pants with white stripes going down the sides, a red-brimmed shirt, and a huge orange afro, of all things.

Luther (Like Kaori, his snow goggles are pushed up, revealing a furious expression): "I've taken enough lip from you whelp!! When I get through with you, even your mama won't recognize you!!"

Eddie (Even while in the air, has the presence of mind to jeer at Luther some more): "That's assuming you can get that big gut of yours to the finish line Luther!!"

Luther: "ARRRRR!!!"

Back on the Predator ship, on the main bridge, we see the two Predator aliens checking over separate control panels:

2nd Predator alien (Speaks to the other alien while adjusting the controls on his own console): "Now remember, this isn't a sanctioned hunt. We're not to kill or seriously maim these humans. Got it?"

1st Predator alien (Looking over a view screen as he attempts to locate the targeted humans. He growls a little, being irritated by his companion's reminder.) "Yeah, yeah. Just research. I understand." (Briefly glances at his comrade) "You sure this experimental teleport system works?"

2nd Predator alien (Still adjusting controls at the his station): "We'll soon find out. Have you located the targets?"

1st Predator alien (Slightly nervous at his partner's admission, quickly turns his head back toward the view screen). "Yeah, I've got four prey entering a secluded area. You ready?"

2nd Predator alien (Nodding in response to the other alien): "Affirmative. Beginning transport now." (We see a clawed hand flip a switch).

Back to the race. Luther is rapidly closing the distance between him and a now fearful Eddie.

Luther (Grinning and shouting in triumph): "Hah, almost got you now Wachow...."

BAM!! A spread-eagled Luther slides off a green tinted forcefield. Nearby, a shell-shocked Eddie is sitting on his rump, still dazed by the sudden transport.

Luther (More than a bit rattled by his collision): "ooh...Hope nobody saw that...uhh." (Luther promptly collapses into unconsciousness).

Meanwhile, Psymon, glancing behind himself to tease Kaori some more, notices the sudden light show resulting in the disappearance of Eddie and Luther.

Psymon (For once, is nearly stunned speechless): "What the... Hey Kaori, did you see that?"

Kaori (Not having witnessed the spectacle behind her, isn't impressed): "That won't work on me this....iiieeee!!"

We see both Psymon and Kaori disappear in flashes of light.

Back on the bridge of the starship, the two grinning Predator's hi-five each other.

2nd Predator alien: "Success!"

1st Predator alien: "Let's have some fun!"

We go to Psymon, who is playing with the forcefield of his cell.

Psymon (Continuously poking his finger into the forcefield, producing a few sparks with each poke): "Heh, cool."

Suddenly he hears a small hissing sound coming from behind him. Turning around he spots what appears to be gas coming from a small sprout protruding from the center of the ceiling.

Psymon (Pouts as he is reminded of similar incidents in the mental institution where he has occasionally resided). "Aww, come on...I'm being a good boy..."

Before he can say much else, Psymon falls asleep due to the gas. When he wakes up, Psymon finds he is in a new room. His arms, legs, and chest are strapped to some kind of metallic table. Sprouting from the table are arms upon which hang various futuristic probes, sensors, and sharp implements. A small door is located off to one side of the room.

Psymon (Sporting a grin where anyone else would probably be screaming. He turns to address his shoulder.): "Wow! Pretty neat setup, eh tattoo-boy?"

Psymon hears the door open and through it walks the 1st Predator alien.

Psymon (Noticing the Predator): "Hey, if I'm good, do I get a treat?"

1st Predator alien (Ignoring the human chatter): "Now what should I do first? Ah, here we go."

The Predator pushes a button on the side of the table. One of the probes slowly makes it way down toward Psymon. A buzzing sound emanates from the probe.

1st Predator alien (chuckling): "Hope you enjoy electricity, human."

The probe makes contact with Psymon. A loud "zap!" is heard as the end touches Psymon.

Psymon (Hardly phased by the electrical shock): "Heh, is that the best you've got pal?"

1st Predator alien (Slightly surprised and mutters to himself): "Tougher than I expected. Time to increase the voltage."

The alien adjusts some controls. Again the probe descends and makes an even louder "ZAP!", accompanied by a few sparks. Psymon flinches a tiny bit.

Psymon: "AH HA HA, that tickles."

Now the Predator is getting frustrated. Again, he adjusts the voltage intensity. Again the probe descends. Psymon twitches a bit more, but not much else.

Psymon: "Mr. Tattoo says that tickles too."

The Predator is now angry. He constantly adjusts the probe's settings, repeatedly trying to illicit a pain response from his captive.

"ZAP!!"

Psymon: "You know, this reminds of those times when I tried running current through water fountains."

"ZAP!!!"

Psymon: "Gotta be careful with the voltage, though."

"ZAP!!!!"

Psymon: "I mean, next thing I knew, I screwed up and they put this restraining order on me."

"ZAP!!!!!"

Psymon: "You ever have any problems like that, buddy?"

"ZAP!!!!!!!"

Psymon: "Not much of a conversationalist are you?"

1st Predator alien (At this point he is furiously pounding at the controls and swearing - all in the Predator native tongue, of course): "GRARRR!!!! Stupid instruments!!!!"

The probe makes contact once again, suddenly Psymon jerks and jumps crazily.

Psymon: "IIYYEEEEYAHAHAHAurrruhhuhhuhhuhoohohhEYYAHAHAHAOOHHAHAHAEEEE YO!!!!!"

Psymon suddenly slumps and lies still.

1st Predator alien (Shaking his head at Psymon's display, he approaches the human and unfastens one of the arm bands): "About time."

Psymon quickly jerks up and uses his free hand to grab the Predator's arm. Swiftly, Psymon yanks the surprised alien's arm into contact with the still active electrical probe.

"ZAP!!!!!!!"

1st Predator alien (Electricity courses through his body, lighting him up in comical fashion): "ROARRRRR!!!!!!"

The Predator falls down, knocked out by the shock treatment. Psymon lays on the table grinning at the downed alien.

Psymon (Grins as he uses his free arm to undo his bonds): "Heh, heh. Figured you needed a little shock therapy. You looked pretty stressed."

Meanwhile, Kaori is looking at her surroundings. All-in-all, the current accommodations are pretty dismal. Strange, organic looking walls surround her on three sides. A green forcefield shimmers in the doorway. The lighting is limited. The rear of the cell lies in near total darkness. Kaori thinks she spots something lying in the back of the room. Going to investigate, she is horrified to learn the items are skulls from a multitude of various species. Among the remains are a few human skulls and some small skulls from the species depicted in the "Alien" movies.

Kaori (Recoiling in disgust): "Eeuuww!! Gross!!" (Retreating back to the center of the cell, she fearfully looks around). "Psymon! Is this another one of your jokes!" (She doesn't hear any response). "This isn't funny!!" (Suddenly, she whirls around as she hears somebody approach from the doorway.)

2nd Predator alien (Grunts disapprovingly as he spots the trash in the back of the holding cell): "Lazy hunters. Can't even bother to eject their discarded trophies out an airlock." (Points a strange looking handheld device at Kaori). "Time to see if this mini-teleporter works."

Kaori (Seeing the 2nd Predator enter her cell, backs away fearfully): "EEEEEK!!"

Before Kaori can do anything, the Predator pushes a button on the mini-teleporter. Kaori vanishes in a flash of light.

2nd Predator alien (Looks down at some readings on the device): "Subject successfully stored. Everything's working so far."

The alien pushes a different button. A flash of light appears in the spot Kaori previously occupied. We see a close-up of Kaori's face.

Kaori (Glances down at herself and screams): "My clothes!!"

2nd Predator alien (Noticing Kaori's naked state, glances down at the device, perplexed): "Strange, this shouldn't have happened." (Readjusts some nobs on the teleporter, points, and activates the device).

A flash envelopes Kaori. When the light disappears, Kaori is now dressed in a nurse's outfit.

Kaori (Inspecting herself): "What!"

2nd Predator alien (Shrugs as he sees the result): "Well, if at first you don't succeed." (Pushes the button several times.)

"Flash!"

Kaori is dressed in a swimsuit.

"Flash!"

Kaori is dressed in a dominatrix outfit. She's rather annoyed.

"Flash!"

Kaori is dressed in an Evangelion plugsuit. She's getting irritated.

"Flash!"

Kaori is dressed in a Card Captor Sakura costume. She's angrier by this point.

"Flash!"

Kaori is wearing a Sailor Venus outfit. Now's she truly mad.

Kaori : (Before the Predator can zap her again, she runs and grabs one of the skulls in the back of the room. Kaori throws the skull at the alien.) "YOU JERK!!"

2nd Predator alien (Forgetting Kaori, he examines the teleporter): "This thing is going to need some more modifica....What!!" (A human skull smashes the device, shattering it. The Predator growls.) "You impertinent little..."

"BAM!!" A larger 'Alien' skull smacks the Predator right in the face. Caught off balance, the hunter is not prepared for Kaori's assault.

Kaori (Pitching a saber-toothed tiger's skull): "BAKA!!" (She throws a large insect carapace.) "SICKO!!" (She launches what suspiciously looks like a terminator cyborg head.) "PERVERT!!" (Kaori throws a velocoraptor skull.) "CREEP!!" (She heaves a Roby Robo head.) "MONSTER!!" (She strains and hefts a huge skull. It looks like it came from a 'King Kong' sized ape.) "DIE!!!!" (Kaori sends the giant skull crashing down on the unfortunate Predator.)

2nd Predator alien (Completely buried under a pile of skulls): "urrrghh...."

Meanwhile, in the cell holding Luther and Eddie, Luther finally wakes up. He sees Eddie kneeling next to the forcefield, fiddling round with a partially loosened wall panel.

Luther (Rubbing his aching head): "What's you doing there, punk?"

Eddie (Still concentrating on the task): "Like, what's it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to get us out of this cell."

Luther (Gets up and approaches Eddie): "Any luck?"

Eddie (Rolls his eyes at the question): "Why do you think I'm still here? Of course not!"

Luther (Scowls as he approaches the open panel): "No need to get smart with me, kid." (Shoves Eddie aside) "Let me show you how it's done." (Slams his fist into the open panel).

Eddie: "Hey, that's some advanced stuff, you can't just..." (Sees the forcefield sparkle and flicker out after Luther's punch.) "O.K., maybe you can."

Luther (Turns back to Eddie, grinning in triumph): "See? Just needed a little ol' fashioned persuasion." (Walks out of the cell.)

Eddie (Grumbles as he follows Luther out of the cell): "You just got lucky."

Later on, we see Luther and Eddie trying to find their way through the spacecraft. The two are surrounded by organic-like walls. A slight mist hovers above the floor, while a reddish light bathes the corridor. Eddie appears in awe. Luther just looks frustrated.

Eddie: "Look man, I keep telling you, this is like nothing on Earth!"

Luther (Exasperated): "So you tellin' me this place was made by aliens? Ain't no such thing as little green men!"

Eddie (Looks at Luther with a defiant expression while waving his hand at their surroundings): "So how do you explain all this?"

Luther: "Probably some government conspiracy. Those pencil pushin' pansies never tell us the whole truth anyway." (Turns to Eddie) "Frankly, I don't care who's responsible. All I want is to get out of here!"

Eddie (Nods his head, agreeing with Luther): "Yeah, I hear you." (He points to an open doorway.) "What's that?"

Luther (Confidently strides through the door): "Only one way to find out." (He disappears into the room. A brief moment later, he shouts.) "Whoa mama!!"

Eddie (Runs toward the room): "Hey Luther, what did you find?" (Enters the room and stares at what is present.)

Luther (Turns toward Eddie with a flourish. Behind him is an impressive assortment of alien weaponry.) "Would you take a gander at this! Come on, chumpy, let's buttkick somethin'!"

We return to Kaori (still in her Sailor Venus costume), who's running through a corridor similar in appearance to the one Eddie and Luther had been traversing. She's looks panicky, but determined. Behind her, in the distance, we hear a pair of deafening roars.

Kaori: "Hope I can find a way out of here!" (Suddenly a hand reaches out from the side to grab Kaori, cutting off her scream. The hand leaves her mouth as she turns to confront her assailant. Recognizing the person, her eyes go wide.) "You!"

Psymon: (Grinning at the Japanese youth): "Hi there, squirt. What's you up to?"

Kaori (Looks back from where she came from, points, and then turns back toward Psymon): "There's a pair of pervert monsters down there!"

Psymon (Turns to look where Kaori's pointing while giving a pondering look): "Hmm...my old alien buddy must have woke up."

Kaori (Surprised at Psymon's comment): "You saw one of them too?!"

Psymon: "Yeah. He appeared a bit tense, so I gave him a little electric jolt. Guess he's pretty rested now."

Kaori (Slightly stunned at Psymon's nonchalance): "They both seem angry. We got to get out of here!" (She starts running down the corridor.)

Psymon (Instead of fleeing, briefly turns toward Kaori ): "What, and miss all the fun?" (He take's a ready stance, facing the direction where Kaori came from.) "Bring it on! Let's light up the groupies!!"

Kaori (Stops when she realizes Psymon isn't following her. Having an irritated expression, she stomps back toward Psymon. She grabs his ear.) "Do you want to get killed?! I said, we are LEAVING!!" (She sprints down the hall, dragging Psymon by the ear.)

Psymon (Grimacing as he is painfully forced to follow Kaori): "OW!! Not so hard, kiddo!! OW!!!"

Meanwhile, having left the alien armory, Eddie and Luther are once again in search for a way to exit the vessel. They're both walking down another corridor. Luther is decked out in a way that would make Ripley jealous. He's wearing some form of armored vest, a pair of wrist blades, a spear strapped to his back, a cutting disk hanging on the side, and a belt of ammo slung around his neck. He also has a ragged white bandanna tied around his head and is hefting a BIG futuristic looking gun. The gun looked capable of destroying a death star.

In contrast, Eddie has single knife strapped to his belt.

Luther (Raises his gun in the air and proudly proclaims): "I'm king of the world, baby, king of the world!"

Eddie (Sarcastic look on his face): "So, your majesty, why do you get to handle all the firepower, while I only receive a knife?"

Luther (Returns an incredulous look back at his partner): "Because you're the brains of this operation, geek."

Eddie: "Like, you do realize how that sounds, right?"

Both enter a doorway.

Luther (Makes a threatening gesture at Eddie): "Why I ought to..."

Eddie (Eyes go wide and he gasps at the panorama before him): "Whoa, cosmic, dude!"

Luther (Taken off guard by the outburst, turns to see what caught Eddie's attention. Observing what Eddie's looking at, his expression matches his companion's): "Sweet blessed jasmine!"

The two stand in the doorway overlooking the bridge of the ship. Beyond the bridge, a vast stretch of the Earth in space can be seen. There's little doubt that both individuals are on a spacecraft.

Eddie (Sprints down to the center of the bridge and spins around, hands in the air in total excitement.): "Like, this is totally awesome! We're where no one has been before!" (Turns to Luther with a smug expression.) "Now do you believe me?"

Luther (Walking toward Eddie with a chagrinned look, he mutters.) "Well, maybe I was a little too hasty with my judgment." (His face takes on a more determined cast.) "Think you can find a way out of this chicken coop?"

Eddie (Turns and walks over to one of the bridge consoles. Looking at the controls, he notes.): "Considering how we got here, I'm guessing we were teleported in somehow."

Luther (Coming to join Eddie): "Can you get us back?"

Eddie (Continuing to examine the console.) "Probably, if I can just find the right controls." (Eddie turns to look at Luther with a goofy grin.) "It's no trouble fixin' da ship captain. It's readin' Klingonese dat's hard." (Seeing Luther scowl in response, Eddie's grin fades and he grumpily turns back to the console.) "Guess you never watched 'Star Trek'."

Both men hear someone or something approaching the bridge. Luther turns to face the doorway that they came through.

Luther (Taking a ready stance as he lifts his gun): "You just keep lookin' for that there switch. I'll handle this!" (Hearing somebody start to enter the doorway, he prepares to fire.) "Take this you little extraterrestrial dirtbags!"

Nothing happens. A perplexed Luther tries firing again.

Luther : "I've got your number now!" (Again, nothing happens. Luther tries to fiddle around some more. All he gets for his efforts is an electrical shock. Now Luther is angry) "You piece of...." (Luther starts pounding and wrestling with the big firearm).

In the meantime, Kaori and Psymon enter the bridge.

Psymon (His usual goofy nonchalant self): "Hi guys! Nice day for a space cruise, eh?"

Kaori (She is surprised at seeing Eddie and Luther): "Eddie! Luther! You're here too!"

Luther (Still manhandling his gun): "Blasted contraption!"

Eddie (Turns around as he hears Kaori and Psymon. He spreads his arms wide to emphasize the settings): "Yeah, isn't it terrific!" (He notices Kaori's costume.) "Hey! Cute costume Kaori!"

Kaori (Scowls as she mutters): "Arigatou." (She sees Luther still wrestling on the floor with the gun and, with a questioning look, points at him). "Umm...what is he doing?"

Luther (Still struggling): "Good for nuthin'..."

Eddie (Looks at Luther): "I think, like, he's trying to protect the bridge or something."

Luther (Still at it, gets another shock): "Ow!! Worthless hunk of junk!"

Psymon (Comes over to Luther): "You know, pal, there's medication that can help with that type of problem."

Luther (Takes a break from his efforts to angrily stare at Psymon): "What are you talkin' about you crazy fool!" (Does a double-take as he finally realizes Psymon and Kaori are present.) "How in blazes did you two get here!"

Eddie (Calmly answers Luther): "Same way we got here, I suppose."

Kaori (Vigorously nods her head in response to Eddie's answer. She points behind her through the doorway): "Uh huh, and the monsters who did it are right behind us!"

Luther (Stands up): "What are we waitin' for? Let's get ready!" (Glances back at his gun.) "Now, if I can get this gizmo here,...." (Luther smacks the firearm once more. When he does so, the gun fires off a blast that blows a hole right through the center of Eddie's afro and strikes the viewscreen. Where the plasma salvo hits the screen. a second hole appears. Cracks radiate from the hole and bits of material fall from the newly created depression.)

Luther (Exclaims happily as he sees what happened.) "Yahoo!! Now we're in business!"

Eddie (Just stands still for a moment as his afro smokes and burns slightly. He then angrily shouts at Luther.) "Are you trying to kill me, man?!"

Luther (Nonplussed): "Aw, don't sweat in, wimp. It's a fashion improvement for you." (Looks at Psymon) "Hmm...here take this." (He removes the spear strapped to his back and hands it to Psymon.) "I guess you can have these too." (Undoes the wrist blades and hands these as well to Psymon.)

Psymon (Puts on the wrist blades and grabs the spear. Flicks the blades on one of his wrists in and out.) "Cool!"

Kaori (Feeling left out): "What do I get?"

Luther (Looks at Kaori as he realizes he didn't lend her any weapons): "Eh...Here you go." (Gives Kaori the cutting disk.)

Luther (Walks to stand behind the seat near Eddie's position. In the background, Psymon is twirling the spear while Kaori is trying to figure out how the disc is supposed to operate.) "Hey you, crazy man! You go behind that center chair!. And you..." (He points to Kaori while indicating the chair on the other side of the bridge console) "...go behind that other seat!" (He then moves toward the seat on which Eddie is sitting) "I'll cover the geek here while he tries to find that teleporter thingy."

The others take their positions. Everybody is now in a ready stance, prepared for whatever might come through the bridge entrance.

Luther (Relishing the idea of fighting): "Heh...the dweebs won't know what hit them. I've heard those little green fellas make good eatin'."

Everybody stares at Luther.

Luther (Sees the stares): "What did I say?"

We now see the two Predators charging down a corridor. Neither look to be particularly happy. Both seem to have disregarded the earlier "no killing the humans" pledge.

2nd Predator: "The female is mine!"

1st Predator: "Don't worry, that muscular prey's skull will make a fine trophy for my collection!"

Back to the bridge:

Luther (Whispers to Eddie): "Find it yet?"

Eddie: (Sarcastically replies) "We're still here, aren't we?"

Kaori (Hears the Predators approaching): "Here they come!"

Psymon (Grinning like a maniac): "It's fun time!!"

The two Predators make it to the doorway. At the same instant, Luther starts blasting with his big gun. The two aliens take cover on either side of the doorway.

2nd Predator alien (Comments to his companion): "Seems there's some resistance."

1st Predator alien (Grinning at the implications): "That will just make it more enjoyable!"

One of the Predators starts trading fire with Luther using his plasma cannon, while the other fires small two-prong forks from his wrist at the remaining humans. Everybody is taking shelter behind their respective barriers. Chunks of furniture and the doorway get blown away.

Kaori (Hiding behind her chair - which has a number of two-prong forks already embedded in the back of it - is still trying to figure out how to operate the cutting disk.) "This won't work!"

Psymon (Hiding behind his chair, which is now missing bits from its edges and is smoking in places): "Well, if you gotta to go down, you might as well go down in flames!"

Putting action to thought, Psymon quickly stands up and hurls the spear at one of the hunters. The 1st Predator alien, seeing an opportunity, fires his plasma cannon at Psymon. However, the thrown spear forces the Predator to dodge. His plasma shot just grazes Psymon's shoulder. At the same time, the spear takes out the Predator's shoulder cannon.

Kaori: "Psymon!"

Psymon: (Just smirks at Kaori) "Heh, nothing like scar tissue." (He examines his shoulder. Suddenly his expression turns into one of horror). "NOOO!!"

Kaori: "What!"

Psymon: "They got Mr. tattoo!" (He stares pleadingly at his shoulder) "Come on tattoo-boy, speak to me!" (Not getting any response, Psymon grows furious). "You bastards!! I'll kill you all!!"

Before Psymon can go charging to his death, both Luther and Kaori tackle him from behind.

Luther (Still trying to hold Psymon down): "You idiot! You want to get yourself killed?!"

Kaori (Feeling rather useless at this point, decides to take a risk. She stands up and starts doing some 'magical girl' poses while waving the cutting disk.) "For kidnapping us...

1st Predator alien (Seeing Kaori out in the open, turns toward his comrade). "What are you waiting for, this is a perfect opportunity."

2nd Predator alien (Lifting up his hand to show his wrist): "I'm out of projectiles."

Kaori: "...and hurting my friends..."

1st Predator alien: "Well, use your shoulder cannon!" (Getting no response) "Don't tell me you forgot to recharge it!"

2nd Predator alien: (Just shrugs)

Kaori: "...and for being perverted jerks..."

2nd Predator alien: "What about you? Don't you have any other weapons?"

1st Predator alien: "I thought I'd only need the cannon and the wrist blades."

Kaori: "...prepare to be punished! Orange Blossom Blast!!"

She lets the disk fly, almost like a discus thrower. Through pure luck, Kaori manages to get the disc to work. The disc shoots around like a pinball ricocheting off of and slashing through consoles, chairs, a corner of the viewscreen, out and in through the doorframe the Predators are taking refuge behind, etc.

Eddie (Ducking as the disc slices part of his afro off. He mumbles to himself): "Man, I think I might be better off with the aliens."

Sparks from damaged consoles fly all over. Everybody, Predators included, are ducking and dodging for all their worth. Finally, after the crazy flight, the disc comes right back to Kaori, who catches it. All the SSX characters look at Kaori.

Kaori (A bit sheepish after the ruckus): "Gomen nasai."

Luther (Looks incredulously at Kaori): "Where did'ja come up with that?"

Kaori (Takes an embarrassed pose): "My 'Orange Explosion Fun Girl' show. Umm...I've always wanted to try that for real."

Luther: "Uh...right."

The Predators recover from the 'Orange Blossum Blast' attack. They consider their options.

1st Predator alien (Eager to engage the prey again): "The humans have stopped firing. Now's our chance!" (The hunter exposes both sets of wrist blades and charges through the doorway.)

2nd Predator alien (Tries to stop his partner): "Wait!"

As soon as the 1st Predator charges through the opening, blasts from Luther's gun force it to come scrambling back for cover.

2nd Predator alien: "Fool! You forgot the heavyset homo-sapien is still armed!"

1st Predator alien: "Then what would you suggest?"

2nd Predator alien: "The humans seem content to stay on the bridge. Perhaps it would be best to return to the armory and acquire some more weapons."

The 1st Predator nods. The two hunters hurriedly leave to restock.

The SSX racers notice the lack of activity from the doorway.

Kaori: "Seems pretty quiet."

Luther: "Guess they turned yellow and ran off, heh."

Psymon (A mournful look on his face as he stares at his shoulder): "Alas, poor tattoo-boy, I knew thee well."

Luther (Turns to look at Eddie): "Did you locate the teleporter, Wachowski?"

Eddie: "Yeah, I think I might have found the switch." (He flips a switch.)

From a view outside of the spacecraft, we see a plasma blast erupt from the vessel and destroy a satellite.

Eddie: (Seeing the results on the monitor, is pretty chagrined.) "Oops, hope we don't have to pay for that." (He quickly looks back and forth to see if anyone noticed. Nobody seems to have seen the plasma shot.)

Luther: "Hey chumpy boots, why are we still here?"

Eddie (A bit nervous after the earlier mistake.) "Ah...that wasn't the right one." (The others look at each other a bit uncomfortably.)

Eddie (Briefly searches some more on the console. Finding what he hopes is the right switch, Eddie announces to the others.) "This looks like it." (He mutters to himself.) "At least I hope it is."

The moment Eddies flips the new switch, all four SSX Tricky boarders vanish in flashes of light.

Back at the race course, the other competitors are waiting around the finish area.

Elise: "Wonder what's taking them so long?"

Marisol (Devious look on her face): "Why? Worried about your boyfriend, chica?"

Elise: "Eddie is NOT my boyfriend!"

Marisol (Now has a smug look): "But I did not specifically say Eddie, now did I?"

Elise (Angrily retorts): "Well, we don't have to worry about a bimbo like you having a boyfriend, do we?!"

Marisol (Becomes mad): "What did you say?!"

As Elise and Marisol get into another of their frequent squabbles, the other boarders still await the arrival of their missing friends.

Brodi (A thoughtful expression on his face): "It is getting rather late."

Mac (Having an anxious expression): "Yeah! Kaori should have been here by now!"

Moby (With a knowing grin): "Don't you mean, 'All of them,' mate?"

Mac (Embarrassed): "Uh...yeah, 'all of them,' that's what I said."

Seeiah (Pats Mac on the back): "Don't worry about it, honey. I'm sure Kaori is alright."

Zoe: "Maybe we should go look for them."

JP (Peering through an expensive pair of binoculars): "Hold on! I believe I have spotted them! (Takes a brief pause while his face assumes a quizzical look.) "However, their attire appears to have changed."

Seeiah (Quickly yanks the binoculars out of JP's grasp): "Let me have those, rich boy." (JP looks indignant at the theft. Seeiah puts the binoculars up to her face. She looks, blinks, and looks again.) "It's definitely them, but..."

Zoe: "But what?"

Seeiah (Hands the binoculars to Zoe) "Take a look, girlfriend. See for yourself."

Zoe (Accepts the binoculars and looks through them for several moments.) "Somebody's going to have a LOT of explaining to do."

In the background, the rest of the gang questioningly glance at one another.

Cut to the binocular viewpoint. We see four figures slowly trudging toward the finish line. As expected, they're Eddie, Luther, Psymon, and Kaori - just as they were prior to being teleported off the Predator spacecraft. All four appear a bit dirty from the battle. Eddie's afro, being burnt and sliced, has definitely seen better days. Luther is still wearing his armored vest (which now sports a few dents) and is lugging his big gun. Psymon has his wrist blades and is still sadly considering his shoulder. Kaori, still dressed as Sailor Venus, is carrying the cutting disk. She appears rather cold. Considering her outfit, that's hardly surprising. We close in on the four returning individuals.

Eddie (Despite his bedraggled appearance, he's quite excited about the whole experience): "Wow! I can't wait to tell everyone what happened to us!"

Luther: "Ain't sure I'd want to do that."

Eddie: "Why not? We've witnessed stuff nobody else has ever seen!"

Luther: "If you go blabbin' your head off about seein' aliens and spaceships, they're goin' think you're crazy like him." (Points at Psymon.)

Eddie (Peers around Luther to look at Psymon. After a moment of consideration, he takes on a resigned look.) "Yeah, I see your point."

Psymon (Still grieving the 'death' of Mr. Tattoo): "You know, me and tattoo-boy went back a long way."

Kaori (Feeling a tad awkward about comforting someone over the loss of their tattoo. She pats Psymon's arm.): "Don't worry Psymon......umm......he's probably in a happy place."

Psymon (Gives a weak smile at Kaori's words): "Thanks, squirt." (Suddenly, he perks up.) "Hey! I think I hear something!"

Eddie, Luther, Kaori (All of them suddenly stop and look around nervously.) "What!"

Psymon (Holds his ear next to his slightly injured shoulder): "Woo hoo!! It's Mr. Tattoo!! He's alive!! (Psymon does a brief celebration dance. Then he stops and grins.) "Should have known they couldn't keep you down, little guy." (He then takes on a serious expression and tone). "Don't you ever do that again! You had me worried there for awhile." (He holds his ear to the shoulder again.) "What do you mean I can't take a joke! This is serious!"

As Psymon proceeds to converse with 'Mr. Tattoo', Eddie holds his head in his hands, Luther sighs, and Kaori looks peeved.

Kaori: "Baka."

Cut to the Predator vessel. The two newly armed hunters dash back onto the bridge, only to find nobody around. What they find is a very badly damaged command area.

1st Predator alien: (Frantically looking around): "Where are they?!"

2nd Predator alien (Slowly goes over to where Eddie had been and looks at the instruments. He emits a resigned grunt.) "It seems the humans managed to transport themselves back to the planet."

1st Predator alien (Growls in frustration): "Well, teleport them back!"

2nd Predator alien (Turns around to face his counterpart): "Do you really want to attempt this again? Look at what's already happened." (A light blinks on another part of the console. The 2nd Predator goes to see what it means. When he looks back up, he appears even more resigned, and slightly nervous.) "It's the hunting party. They're ready to return now."

Both Predators survey the destruction all around them, then look at one another. Both are well aware of the probable reaction from their pack leader.