Authors notes: I don't own the characters, just the story.



Chapter Three



8 years earlier

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Through the light gray clouds in the sky, streams of light peered through, trying to make the late June day brighter. Sun rays trickled onto Madelaine O'More's bed in the Ravenclaw girl's dormitories. She ran her hands through her mess of short strawberry curls, unstyled and still wet, as she thought of what to wear for her journey from Hogwarts. Picking out a pair of jeans and a purple crop top, she sat them aside and proceeded to stuff her black bookbag full of clothes, magazines, and tapes. Earlier in the week she had sent her trunk to Valencia, where she would be staying with a small wizarding family for the next year or so. Madelaine could almost feel the warm rays of the sun and hear the ocean waves crashing onto the beach when a soft knocking at the door threw her back into reality. She turned and stared at the large oak door wishing the person behind it away. She stared until her eyes became dry and everything around the door had melted away and she couldn't blink or turn away from the door. Then they knocked again and pushed open the door a slight way.

"Maddie?"

She didn't respond at first, she couldn't move or speak. Her feet felt as if they were glued to the spot she was standing in and would never be released. Her heart fluttered with anticipation of the known visitor, and her stomach lurched because she knew what he was here to do.

"Madelaine!"

Madelaine refused to answer him again but the door opened wider and a tall imposing figure stood in the doorway, blocking any hope of escape.

"Why didn't you answer me?"

"I was busy, packing and all. I wasn't paying any mind." She answered him, hanging her head. She looked up to see him nodding slowly and beginning to cross the room. His deep black eyes bored into her as he stiffly sat down on a green chair, which faced a small window, open and facing the Quidditch pitch. "What are you doing here Professor?" She asked quietly, a manner against her nature.

"I didn't realize we were on such formal terms Miss O'More." he hissed, emphasizing her title. "I just came down to see how your packing was doing." He tried to making up for his condescending tone from a moment before but failed miserably.

"As well as it could be going. I leave this evening and I'm afraid I won't be able to thank the rest of the staff here in time. Would you..."

"Of course I would. If you're definitely sure this is what you want."

"I have told you a thousand times this is what I want! You're turning into an insufferable old man and I'm tired of it." Madelaine clasped her hand to her mouth when she realized she had just admitted everything she had been thinking and was trying to avoid saying. She could feel the glare she was getting at her turned back, but just kept quiet. Silence followed for a minute. A dreadfully long minute which felt like hours to her and years to Severus Snape, who only wished that he hadn't come here asking questions when he had a specific purpose that had no point in being addressed now.

"I'm an old man to you." He whispered hoarsely. She knew she had struck a nerve with him. In the beginning of their short but strong relationship he had closed her out, and kept walled up because he felt he was much to old for her. After some time elapsed Madelaine had been able to pick through his shell and see that he was mostly afraid of being hurt by someone so young. That someone far younger than he, far more attractive might catch her fancy and take her away from him. However as days went by he realized that she wasn't the type of person who would just up and leave him for someone else and he let his guard down. Severus had been more affectionate and more careful with her than he had anyone else in his entire life. As if he was afraid that one wrong move might brake her, or she would disappear from his arms forever and he would never get her back.

"You're acting like one. Being possessive and trying to put your foot down in matters that have nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to do with me!" Severus stood and wheeled around, staring her straight into the eyes. "I think that your moving away has a little something, if not everything to do with me."

"Oh Severus, did you just feel that? The earth shifted, you're not the center of the universe anymore." Madelaine cocked her head and offered a blatantly cruel grin.

"Dammit Madelaine! Would you at least consider staying here. You could apprentice with one of the Professors, or help in the library." His tone became increasingly soft as he spoke to her. He approached her from behind and held her shoulders gently.

"You would have me in a position that I would not be happy in and that is far below my capabilities just so you could have me whenever you wanted? So I could be there?" She whispered out loud.

"Or I would just have you. Won't you please reconsider my offer?"

"No. I will not." She replied coldly and watched in the mirror as he seemingly shivered, closed his eyes and tightened his grip on her shoulders, not out of cruelty, but out of pain. He released and stepped back.

"Then I take the liberty to give you my best wishes for your time in Spain." He stated simply and made his way toward the door he hesitated at a table before he continued. "I hope that you will return to us one day Miss O'More." He finished as he calmly sat something down on the table, then opened the door and left swiftly. Madelaine watched the door sniffing and breathing hard. A great weight had just been lifted from her shoulders, but a new one had taken no time to replace the former. As she inhaled she was quick to exhale in ragged, uneven breaths. She was sobbing. Madelaine fell to the floor, clutching her bed, as if holding on for dear life. She didn't know what she was going to be able to do and for the first time in months felt utterly alone in the world.

It took a great amount of strength to leave Hogwarts that evening but Madelaine accomplished it. She left quietly, to avoid any confrontation, good or bad, with any of the staff. The moon was pale and clouds were beginning to form. By the time she had reached Hogsmede station, a warm summer rain was beginning to fall. As the 10 o'clock train pulled in Madelaine took one last look at Hogwarts, thankful it had began to rain. When she first came it was raining, and now, as she left it did the same, but this time, it masked her tears.

Severus sat in her rooms long after she and the train had departed for London, where she was likely to pick up the Knight Bus to Spain. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly, as if trying to make time go slower, making his memories last a moment longer. He sat, and sat, letting the hours fly by, wondering about how he could have gotten himself tangled up with such a cruel woman. Someone who didn't love him, but made him believe she did. By the purple and pink rays of dawn he had managed to nearly brainwash himself into hating her. A house elf popped into the room, bringing with him a light breakfast, setting it on a small table by the door of the room. Severus looked over to the tray and immediately rose. He had placed a small box there that last day. Now there was a small book, full of pictures both magical and muggle. '"It is sometimes best to have memories frozen still in time Severus, so you can know in your heart how you felt at the moment, and your eyes will never deceive you."' He thought to himself. Madelaine had said that to him once, after taking their picture with a regular camera. As he flipped through the small book his heart melted, he could feel it. Warmth spreading throughout his body, down to his fingertips and resonating in his brain. He closed his eyes again, trying to grasp a hold of some distant thought, standing in the middle of her room, alone, he felt whole. He opened his eyes again, and slipped the book into his robes, grabbed a piece of fruit and left the room and locked it. He turned on his heels and left the Ravenclaw end of the dungeons and continued up the stairs to a far off hall, where a very tiny door stood, a door much to small of a child, let alone a 32 year old man. As he opened the door and walked in, anyone who had seen him must have believed either he shrunk or the door grew. Contrary to popular belief his rooms were not in the dungeons, but rather in the oldest part of the building, a wonderfully mysterious and magical corridor full of surprises. As he made his way into his large and opulently decorated sitting room he was briefly startled by the figure of Albus Dumbledore sitting in front of his lit fireplace.

"Albus, it's almost July. Why do you have that thing lit?"

"Oh. Well, I do believe that a roaring fire really calms the nerves, sends one right off into a good dream filled sleep when he needs it. Perhaps you are right. Would you care for some tea?" He offered. Severus shook his head and took a seat across from the Headmaster. "I always bring my own you know, whatever it is you drink is much to strong for me. Anyway. I wanted to en quire after Miss O'More. She left in a hurry last night, and didn't tell more than half of the staff good bye. It was very unlike her to do such a thing." He stated, but not in a concerned manner, more of an informing manner.

"She wanted to leave here quickly I imagine. She had her reasons." Severus offered, twiddling his fingers, nervously. Albus noted this as something that Snape would never do. Something was going on.

"Severus, you know if you need to speak to anyone about this you can come and talk to me. I am here for you whenever you need to see someone."

"I know that Albus. I thank you for offering but I just feel that I need to be alone for now. A chance to wind down before the next school year starts again. Just sometime to be alone."

"Ah yes, of course. Severus, your mother has sent an owl to me. She knows that sending them to you just gets them disregarded. She wants to see you this summer sometime. I think it is best you leave as quickly as possible. You haven't seen here in so long, and she is always requesting to see you." Albus finished as he stood up and sat his tea cup down on the long table between the two deep red chairs.

"Yes. I suppose so." He nodded and Albus left the room quietly.

Severus didn't go home that summer. In fact he rarely left his rooms until September, and then it was only for classes and meals, rarely between for roaming the halls to find rule breakers. His mother died in August and it went barely noticed by him. In a few months he had lost a lot of weight and became even more sallow and sickly looking than before. By September his moods had become even more of a coin toss, one moment he was tolerable then the next moment he was completely shut off, cold and rude to anything that had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Upon returning to Hogwarts, at their first breakfast Dean was the first to notice it.

"He doesn't look right." He shook his head.

"He never looks right. Just be careful not to cross him. Or will be owing points by the time the house cup award rolls around." Hermione lectured.

No one could place his foul mood over the year and Slytherins as well as Gryffindors were beginning to suffer his wrath. Albus was becoming increasingly worried about Severus's health. Most of his food remained untouched, and though he said he was fine, and that he was over anything that had happened with he and Madelaine, Dumbledore knew differently. And his hypothesis was confirmed true in May of 1993. When a small brown owl flew in during lunch delivering a small folded piece of parchment to Severus. It was immediately opened and he left, nearly running to his rooms and knocking over a 1st year Hufflepuff in the process.

As he climbed his way through Hogwarts he felt himself grow lighter, as if walking on clouds with the assistance of angels. By the time he was able to sit down on the edge of his bed he was sure that he was glowing, and that some student had probably seen him and reported it to his entire house, but he didn't care.



Dear Severus,

I have spent almost everyday here sitting by the ocean writing in my little leather book that you gave me for my 18th birthday. Each time I write in this book, or even look at it I remember the look on your face the day that I left and I haven't been able to be rid of this horrible image of you burned into my mind.

My Mother and Father have recently joined me here and have noticed the sense of loss in my eyes. I don't know what to do and I can't help but feel lost every time I look into the mirror. I feel that I have made a terrible mistake and I hope that you will one day forgive me. Until then I hope that maybe one day, while sitting at breakfast while Áine is reading her book and Caoilte his newspaper, that my little owl will return with a parchment in his hand, with a simple message of forgiveness. Until then I want to extend to you an invitation here. You are always welcome and I hope to see you soon.

Yours truly,

Kennocha Madelaine O'More







Authors notes:

I hope that was ok for you guys. I'd really appreciate more feedback :) or maybe you could tell some of your friends to read my story too :)

In case you can't tell Madelaine is Irish. When I first started laying the ground work for this story she was half Swedish and half English, but as I developed her character on paper, it was hard to give her a real past. So I went back and re-wrote her parents
(Áine (an-ya) and Caoilte (KWEEL-te)) to be Irish from the O'More's. Simply because this is much easier since I am also a (American) Moore. Using my own history made it a lot easier to build up a background for her. Also if some of my math is wrong I do apologize. I used a time line from the internet, from what I think is a respectable source, but when I did some of the math for her character it added up a little bit weird. I guess that's what you get for putting new people into an already established world. *shrug*

Slainte!