~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Beneath Two Moons
8. Damage Control
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By Jessica Lynn S. (starcollision@opalwings.com)
~*~
Spoilers: The entire Escaflowne series.
Warnings: Sensuality, shoujo-ai (romance between two female characters), and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or its characters. No profit is being made from my silly fanfiction hobby. ^_^ I do, however, own this fic and the original characters in contains. Please do not post this story anywhere without asking first.
Summary: The dust has yet to settle in the wake of the previous chaos. Upon hearing of Halena's suicide attempt, Hitomi feels sympathy for the girl and ventures to the dungeon. Meanwhile, a conversation about Celena between Van and Merle becomes an argument.
***IMPORTANT NOTE***: : For those who have already read the last chapter prior to my posting this, you will not understand what's going on unless you go back and re-read. I was dissatisfied with how that chapter turned out, so I added to it and carried over a lot of its content to this one. (The first six chapters have also been revised, though re-reading them is optional, as the changes aren't so severe.) So...there's really nothing new in this chapter except for Van's argument with Merle. I humbly apologize for all the confusion this has caused; I should have gotten this story right the first time around instead of having to go back and re-do so much of it.
I'm sorry for the time it took getting this out, too. (Special apologies to those who were banging their heads on their keyboards. ^_^ I love my readers, I really do! Please don't give yourselves any concussions...) With the holidays passing, and my first semester of full-time college impending upon me (I was part-time last semester) I've been a bit overwhelmed and jittery. Please be patient with me if it takes me longer to churn out chapters than normal. I will not abandon this story before it is complete, and that's a promise. And be forewarned, there's just a tad bit of naughtyness in this chapter, though it's nothing compared to chapter four.
Hitomi and Merle looked on in disbelief as Van shoveled an entire plate's worth of food in to his mouth before they even had a chance to pick up their forks. The three had just seen Allen off, and now the Van was wasting no time in making up for the days of not being able to keep anything down. His eyes wandered to the content of Merle's plate, prompting the cat-girl to hunch over her food protectively. "Don't you even think about it..." she snarled. He gave Hitomi a pleading glance. She sighed defeatedly and forked over a biscuit.
They had barely finished their meals when Direedus knocked at the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt," he apologized as he peeked in to the room, "but the girl in the dungeon tried to take her life this morning. In yesterday's panic, no one actually searched her before we threw her in her cell, and apparently she had a knife tucked in to her sleeve. She used it to slit her wrists. The physician stayed overnight...so we got him treat her immediately and we confiscated the weapon. She didn't loose very much blood, and the guards are watching her more closely now, but we thought you should be informed. We weren't going to let her die until you made a decision as to what to do with her..."
"A wise decision." Van acknowledged approvingly. His feelings on Halena were not the kindest after everything that had transpired, but the thought of another death made him uneasy. He couldn't bring back the man he'd unintentionally killed, so the least he could do was let Halena live. She was a lot younger than his first would-be assassin, and she wasn't someone that life had been kind to. He wasn't sure to what fate he'd have her sentenced ultimately, but it wouldn't be death, especially if that was actually what she wanted.
He looked over at Hitomi and realized that her expression was pained. She was now feeling sorry for the former handmaiden, despite the previous day's violent struggle. The compassion that she could feel - even for her enemies - never failed to astound Van. He reached out and touched her shoulder softly. The touch caused Hitomi to blink as her expression transformed to one of guilt.
"I'm not really sure how I feel about this either." he reassured her softly, meeting her eyes. "If you feel sorry for Halena, that's okay. We've all felt sorry for her since she started working here."
Hitomi nodded uncertainly. "I don't know why she did it though. First it was that other guy, now her...it's pretty insane. I don't understand why they'd want to kill you."
"Hey, it's not the first attempt on the royal family, and I'm sure it won't be the last." Van shrugged. "Who ever knows what these people are thinking?"
"But you've done so much for them, especially Halena!" Hitomi insisted.
"No matter what I do, Hitomi, not everyone is going to be pleased with it. The same will go for you once you're queen, so you'll have to get used to the idea. Not everyone reacts quite that...drastically, though." he admitted.
"Halena must be really hurt and angry over what happened here in Fanelia, and maybe she was just pointing her anger in the wrong direction." Hitomi pondered. "I can only imagine the things that poor girl must have gone through..."
Van knew that in many ways, Hitomi was a better person than he could ever be. That's why he'd never doubted her ability to be queen. She had forgiven Folken where he could not, and he still sometimes wondered how things would have been different if he'd actually talked to his brother before his untimely demise instead of just talking to a statue and a ghost. But after everything he'd recently put Hitomi through by fault of his own foolishness, he did not want her to be troubled any further.
"Indeed. But I don't want you to get involved." Van warned her, his voice still soft, but firm. "You've already been too involved in this situation...and I'm sorry for that." His eyes conveyed his sincerity. She sighed deeply and laid her head on his shoulder, but gave him no response. He put his arm around her with a frown of concern. He wished that she'd just let him take care of matters from here, but it obviously wasn't going to be that easy. Hitomi had a mind of her own.
"Van-sama, there is one more thing." said Direedus, who had been watching the scene uncomfortably. He's grown used to the sight of his king and various other unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on one's perspective) guests being glomped, licked, and otherwise affectionately mauled by Merle. But whenever Van was cozy with Hitomi he could not help but feel that his presence was an intrusion.
"Hmm, what's that?" Van asked calmly.
"The doctor had wanted to see you again once you were awake, just to make sure that you're completely all right before he leaves the castle."
Van's hair bristled visibly as he waved his hands in dismissal. "That's okay, I'm fine. One-hundred-percent better!" he said with a large, overly-cheerful grin.
Hitomi cocked her head. Merle narrowed her eyes and leaned in towards Hitomi's ear. "Doctors make him really nervous." she said in a conspiratorial whisper.
"Really, I'm fine." Van continued to insist. "Hitomi took care of me...so maybe she could just, eh, examine me later and make sure." He laughed nervously, but no one else found his joke quite as amusing.
"Nonsense, Van-sama." said Merle with a sadistic smile which bared her pointed eye-teeth. "If I ever get so much as a cold, you always see that I get thoroughly prodded and inspected. And you're the king, so I don't see why you shouldn't get the same...considerate treatment."
"I'm fine." Van repeated for the third time with an agitated grumble. "But if it makes everyone feel better...then I'll see him." Another loosing battle for him; this one served him right though, for his own idiocy in getting poisoned. Despite her previous distress, Hitomi suppressed a giggle. She loved Van but sometimes he could be so typically male.
And if it made her laugh a little bit, then Van supposed it was okay.
Halena was curled in to a ball against the wall, trying to block out the world; not that there was much world outside her cell to speak of. If she concentrated solely on the ragged rhythm of her breath, she could temporarily forget where she was. Maybe if she tried even harder, she could forget who she was too. That's what she was working towards when the soft patter of footsteps descended the staircase. She thought nothing of it until she heard a female voice speaking to the guard outside of her cell.
"Wait at the top of the stairs, please." said the voice. "I would like to speak to the prisoner alone.
"As you wish, my lady." he responded reverently. Halena looked up to see Hitomi and immediately averted her green eyes. The person who had caught her in the act of poisoning Van was not high on the list of people that she wanted to see. Hitomi didn't seem to take that fact in to consideration. She knelt down beside the bars of the cell so that she was at eye-level with Halena.
"Halena?" she asked, softly and cautiously; her voice bordering on gentle. The maid shivered.
"What do you want from me, Hitomi-sama?" she asked.
Hitomi reached through the bars, taking one of Halena's bandaged arms in her hand. "I want to know why you did this to yourself." she said firmly, turning it over to examine the wrist. Halena pulled away reflexively.
"Why should you care, of all people?" she said in the same distant, monotonous voice which made Hitomi's heart wrench. She was looking at the woman who damn-near killed Van. But yet, Halena was not a woman. She was so young. Hitomi was young herself, but Halena was three years her junior and in that particular moment, she looked younger still. She looked like a child, slouched helplessly against the cold stone wall; ready and willing to throw away a life which had barely even begun.
Hitomi could only imagine the horror and anguish that short life had seen. The burn scars on the girl's face were just as visible as they were before and her forehead was peppered with bright purple bruises where it had been slammed in to the floor. She found herself at a painful loss of words.
Suddenly, Halena looked up and smiled feebly. "I know how angry you should be." she said. "I know how angry I was. I nearly put you through the same thing that I just went through. I wasn't counting on you coming back from Asturia so soon. I've always liked you." she confessed. I didn't want you to have to see him die." With that, she looked down again, staring at her cold, pale hands which still bore the dried traces of blood.
"He didn't die." said Hitomi flatly.
"I figured he didn't." answered Halena. "Otherwise I'd be dead by now as well." Suddenly her features took on a darker look than before; a look which conveyed a strange, placid breed of urgency or detached concern. "Hitomi," she said, "you have been deceived. Van is one of the accursed people of Atlantis. He is a winged demon who will bring further destruction upon Fanelia if he continues to rule. I know you probably doubt me after the story I gave about Merle, but this time I speak to you honestly."
"I don't think you're lying." Hitomi answered. "Actually I know you're not. I've seen his wings. But his heritage does not affect his ability to rule. You've seen all that he's done for his people."
Halena shook her head. "There have been problems in the royal family ever since the introduction of the Draconian blood." she said coldly. "King Goau fell ill and died young. His first son ran from the rite of succession, and Van ran from his country while we were under attack. He left when we needed him the most. You only think that you know Van. You don't."
"On the contrary," she said, her voice growing defensive, "I don't think anyone knows Van as well as I do."
Halena turned away bitterly, clearly conveying a desire to end the conversation. There was no use talking to someone who wasn't going to listen. Hitomi watched her silently for several minutes. She sighed, knowing full-well that she better return to Van before he questioned her whereabouts. She did not want to upset him. Halena kept her back turned as Hitomi walked away.
"All their eyes keep asking, 'Are you in or are you out?'
And I think to myself, 'What is this about?'
'Cause tonight you can't put me up on any shelf
Because I came here alone and I'm gonna leave by myself"
***
The royal physician certified that Van had, indeed, recovered from the poisoning. Of course he'd still have to rest and take things easy to regain his full health. Van was only too glad when the doctor left the room. He took a few moments to regain his dignity before he walked out, flopping down on the floor beside Merle, who had waited for him in the hallway. "I owe you one now." he said sarcastically to the cat-girl.
She laughed and stuck out her tongue. Were his wings exposed, she was certain the feathers would be quite ruffled.
"But seriously," he said, "I know that saving me was a group effort, and I thank you for your part in it. Thank you for taking care of Hitomi, too. I honestly do owe you one." he said. His disgruntled expression had melted away in to one of sincerity and gratitude. He put his arm around Merle and gave her an affectionate squeeze.
"Thanks, Van-sama." she answered, looking up at him with an uncertain smile.
Van raised a single eyebrow. The two had known each other long enough that they could read each other's moods without really intending to, and Merle wasn't feeling quite right about something. "Something wrong, kid?" he asked her.
"You're nosy!" she grumbled, pinching the tip of his nose for emphasis.
"I wud jus askig..." he mumbled in an indignant, nasal voice. She gave another small laugh and released her grip.
"Well, I wanted to stay in Asturia." she muttered, looking down at her hands to avoid his eyes. "I tried to make Hitomi stay longer. I was being selfish." She frowned.
"Hey, it's okay." Van assured her. "I got myself in to this mess in the first place. You and Hitomi and Allen...you're always saving me, aren't you?" He smiled.
"I didn't get to say goodbye to Celena-chan, either." Merle sighed.
"I'm sure that Allen will tell her about this whole fiasco as soon as he gets back. She'll understand. And you'll see her again in a few days anyway. It's almost my birthday, you know? She said she was going to come."
"I almost forgot about that." said Merle. "Celena-chan was acting really strange, though."
"How so?" he asked, bringing up his hand to protect his nose as he looked at the cat-girl expectantly.
"Ummm....well..." Merle said, "We were, umm, fighting. It wasn't a real fight. We were just playing but... She was talking like Dilandu, as a joke, and I told her that it scared me. So she...she asked me if I'd want her if she was a man! I don't know how why she would ever say such a thing, Van-sama!" She grabbed his arm and hugged it tightly, plagued by sudden worry. "Do you think Celena-chan is turning back in to Dilandu!?"
Van patted Merle's head soothingly. "I don't think that's possible." he said, trying to hide his amusement. "The Fate Alteration was entirely reversed." Learning to accept Celena hadn't been an easy feat for him, but at Hitomi's insistence to believe in her, he'd given her a chance. Eventually, his reluctant acceptance became respect and he actually started to like her. He firmly believed her to be someone totally separate from Dilandu, not to mention she was wonderful for Merle. In fact, in that sense, Celena was like an answered prayer. It was a hard job being the king of Fanelia and Merle's best and only friend all in the same day. For a long time he'd felt guilty for not being able to give her the time she deserved. He delighted in seeing the cat-girl's happiness when Celena came to visit.
What Merle had confided in him further affirmed the suspicions he'd had all along. He could be pretty damned clueless about people's emotions sometimes, but this situation seemed to stand out like a big, honking zit in the middle of reality's forehead. "I think there's another explanation for this." he said.
"What?" Merle asked, still clutching his arm and looking up at him childishly with her big blue eyes.
"Well..." he began, "I don't think Celena is really interested in boys."
"I already noticed that." Merle shrugged as if he was master of the obvious. "She seems perfectly happy without love. She's in love with her work."
"No." Van said, shaking his head. "Everyone wants love. It's part of being human...or a cat-girl." he added quickly for his own protection. "It's just...umm, how can I put this? Celena was a boy for a large part of her life, and even though she's got her feminine side, she still acts very boyish in a lot of ways. Her sword-fighting, for instance. Even just her mannerisms and the way she talks. It may be because she was raised as a boy, but even so, that's not Dilandu. That's just who she is." Merle nodded.
"I never thought that was weird. I just thought her question was weird. You're missing my point, Van-sama." the cat-girl complained.
Van wasn't missing her point, he was just trying to present his as delicately as possible. Delicacy had never been Merle's strong point, though. "I think she did it because she was confused about how she felt." he said. "I think that...she might...hmm, you know...like girls." His face was flushed from embarrassment.
"Like girls?" Merle echoed.
"Well, yeah...but she might not fully understand or realize her own feelings."
"Just like Hitomi said..." Merle interjected, wide-eyed with realization. "She asked us if we were in love. I just never thought..."
"Well, you should know better than to trust my perception of anything." Van jested. "But Merle...if I am right about this, I think that it's pretty safe to assume...that she likes you."
"Like that?" said Merle, astonished, as if she hadn't known that remark was coming. "She likes me like that? I didn't think that anyone could ever... Well, a lot of the men around here like me...but that's just for my body." She stated the last part coolly and matter-of-factly, prompting Van to smack himself in the forehead.
Nope, no delicacy there.
"But I didn't think anyone that I actually cared about, cared so much about, would like me like that!" Merle rambled on.
"Relax." he said, gently scratching behind her ears to calm her. She was poised on the balls of her feet, her body as tense as a coiled spring. It was evident that she was working towards frenzy, and the last thing anyone ever wanted was a frenzied Merle. Finally, her posture eased and she began to purr softly. Van wanted to ask her a question, but he had a hard time finding the right words. "Merle, how do you feel about... I mean, is there any chance that you..." He turned redder than before and looked down, unable to complete his question, but Merle had gotten the gist of it. She immediately tensed again.
"I really don't know." she said. "I usually like to look at men, to be honest. I mean, back in the days before there was Hitomi, I thought that I was going to marry you." She blushed crimson and turned away from him. "Of course everything is different now, and it's better that way." she added quickly.
Van pretend he hadn't heard it. Things were just getting more awkward, and she was finding she could not control the flow of words from her mouth. They had come without rational thought. "But I think that if Celena-chan really loved me," she continued, "I don't think it matters that she's a girl. I think I could love her back."
"Now wait a minute." said Van, "You're making things way too simple! This is something you really need to think about before you do anything. Don't go rushing in to anything if you're not sure of yourself. Celena is your best friend. You don't want to destroy that."
Merle cocked her head. "What I mean," said Van, "there are different ways of loving people. There's no doubt in my mind that you love Celena, but it might be more like the way you and I love each other than the way that Hitomi and I do. There's things that people in a romantic kind of relationship do..."
"I know about THAT, Van!" Merle snapped. "Just how old do you think I am?" She was really starting to wish this conversation had never began; that she'd just kept her damned mouth shut. What started as an innocent worry was flying way out of proportion. She felt as if Van wasn't taking her seriously, and starting to wonder if he ever truly had. Unbeknownst to her, he was feeling as if she wasn't taking him seriously.
"Well," said Van, "don't be indiscriminate. If you jump the gun just because you're desperate for a relationship, a lot of bad things could happen. What if you can't enjoy sleeping with her because she's not a man? Wouldn't she be hurt by that?"
That was the last straw for Merle. She was on her feet in an instant. "Don't call me desperate!" she hissed, teeth bared in anger. "I have had plenty of opportunities! Not that you would know anything about me anymore. Your brain has been on vacation for the past four years and you've forgotten that you're not the only one who's grown up. All you see anymore is Hitomi. Speaking of which, you're one to talk about jumping the gun. You're marrying a girl from another world, damn it! And it's all fine and good that you're that happy, but you shouldn't try to prevent me from what might be a chance to happy as well!"
"That's not what I'm trying to do, Merle..." he said, discomfort written plainly across his face. He extended his hand toward her in an offering of peace. She swatted at it furiously, claws extended. He winced as they ripped through his skin. Merle ran off down the hall, tail swishing violently behind her. He frowned, knowing that he'd just opened one hell of a can of worms. He shouldn't have pried so deeply; but he wanted to protect Merle for all that he was worth. Things seemed to have a habit of turning rotten lately, just when they were starting to get okay again. Maybe Hitomi would know what to do about the situation.
Where is Hitomi anyway?
He looked around, finding no sign of her. "Oh shit." he thought out loud, smacking himself in the forehead for the second time. He'd just given another prime performance of his obviousness. He was about to take off in the direction of the dungeon when she came walking down the hallway toward him. He breathed a silent sigh of relief.
"Where were you?" he asked her unassumingly.
"Umm...I had to deal with...some women's problems." she answered sheepishly.
He waved his hands in front of him and laughed. "Say no more!" he said.
For as pitiful an excuse as it was, Van seemed none the wiser. But for reasons unknown, the collective mood had taken a turn for the worse again. The only overt clue was the absence of Merle's presence - which Van promised to explain when he wasn't so tired -; the rest was just subtleties. He seemed to want nothing more for the rest of the day than to sit with his arms wound tightly around Hitomi's waist, head resting on her shoulder as if he were afraid she'd dematerialize in to the air. She was patient with him, allowing him to hold her for as long as he needed to, but she took little comfort in the closeness herself. Her mind was elsewhere.
Halena's eyes had been burned in to her the retina of her mind like sun spots; all the sadness and anguish that was there. She wanted to help her, but could not shake a vague notion that helping the girl would be betraying Van, Fanelia, and even herself. It would also be betraying herself to ignore her true feelings, though.
Halena had tried to protect her from having to see Van die, and even tried to "warn" her of his Draconian heritage. That was enough to indicate that she wasn't truly evil. Rather; she was a victim of misconception. Misconceptions could be undone, and by the evening Hitomi had made up her mind.
Van had trouble falling asleep that night, and that just made it harder for her to slip away. Every time she thought he was out, he'd wake up and reach out for her. She had to whisper reassurance and stroke his hair, waiting patiently until he went back to sleep. Finally she found herself in the dungeon again.
Halena was sleeping well, because sleep was all there was left to do. Sleep was the only escape from a reality that would not bend to her will, or even bend at all. She awoke to the sound of her name being softly repeated and looked up to see Hitomi standing above her, face illuminated by the flame in the lantern that she carried.
The queen-to-be was truly something else. The younger girl didn't understand her concern, and in theory, should shun it. But she felt, however faint, the same ache in her heart that had bound her loyalties to Kipalisa. It was the ache of not wanting to be left in the world alone with no one to turn to. She wouldn't admit it to herself, but she was almost glad to see Hitomi. She would be glad if not for how ashamed she felt -- not ashamed for what she had done, of course, but ashamed for her horrible failure in it. "You again?" she sighed nonchalantly.
Hitomi wasted no time with pleasantries. "It wasn't Van's choice to run from the battlefield." she said. "I was there. I was by his side through the entire war, and I caused the column of blue light that took us away that day. I'm sorry."
"How could you do that?" Halena asked, more in declaration of impossibility than actual inquiry. "Kipalisa said that it was clearly Draconian magic."
"It's not magic." said Hitomi. "I will explain it to you if you allow me."
"I don't see why you would want to explain it to me." said Halena. "I'm a criminal. . I'm not someone to whom you owe any sort of explanation." She folded her arms in front of her.
"Are you afraid of learning that you were wrong?" asked Hitomi, head cocked.
Halena's eyes widened considerably. "No," she shook her head in rapid denial. "You can tell me your fairy tales if you wish, but won't make any difference."
"Thank you." said Hitomi, once again kneeling on the floor to be eye-level with the prisoner. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Sheepishly, she produced a bundle of cloth from behind her back.
"What's that?" asked Halena.
"It's awfully cold down here." said Hitomi, unraveling what was revealed as a blanket and pillow, and feeding them through the bars of the cell. "I thought you might like these." Halena accepted it uncertainly, draping the blanket over her shoulders as Hitomi began her story.
"It's some sort of reaction between an energist stone and powerful human wishes." Hitomi said. She spoke slowly and chose her words carefully. The backwater beliefs that many Fanelians continued to hold on to still astounded her. "Please understand that Van wanted to stay and fight," she said "even if he died. He wanted nothing more then vengeance for his people. After we left the temple with Escaflowne, we were surrounded by guymelefs. We were totally outnumbered and we didn't stand a chance against them. I was wearing this energist pendant."
Hitomi pulled the pendant out from beneath her shirt to show Halena. She had put it on briefly when Van returned it to her, but took it off and tucked it away only hours later. For reasons unknown to her, she hadn't felt entirely comfortable wearing it again after so much time had passed. Perhaps it had something to do with memories best left untouched. She had slipped it on before venturing to the dungeon as an afterthought; a visual aid for her explanation.
"I wished to be taken somewhere else, somewhere safe." she said. "I was unaware of the pendant's powers. We were carried away, dropped in the Asturian frontier, and found by a Caeli. You should have seen Van's face when he told us that Fanelia was destroyed. There is no way to describe the anguish. He wanted to go back right away. He easily would have thrown his life away in the battles that followed, if not for friends who insisted otherwise. We knew he had to return to Fanelia alive, to rebuild what was lost and take care of his people.
Please understand that if Van wouldn't have survived, we probably wouldn't have been able to defeat Zaibach. Zaibach wouldn't have just taken over in his stead. Everyone would have eventually died fighting, even the people left in Fanelia, because of Zaibach's Zone of Absolute Fortune. What good would a dead king would have done anyone, and what good would a dead king do anyone now?"
Halena was surprised. She hadn't expected Hitomi to be so...informed. The older girl had struck her as somewhat innocent and naive; someone who would know nothing of war and suffering. Nothing could change the core of the reason of her anger towards Van, though. "Even so," she said, "even if Van meant well, he killed Kipalisa. I loved Kipalisa. I can't forgive that."
"Was Kipalisa the man from the garden?" Hitomi asked. Her voice remained neutral and unassuming. Halena looked up at her again and nodded.
"Well, I think you're forgetting to take in to consideration that Kipalisa tried to kill him. Van was just protecting himself. Halena, have you ever had something happen so fast that you reacted instinctively to it?"
Halena sighed, and Hitomi could swear that she saw the faint glimmer of tears threatening to spring forth from her eyes, but the prisoner said nothing.
"That's what it was like for Van." said Hitomi calmly. "He felt awful after the fact. He hadn't wanted to shed blood. He sat in his bed all night drinking himself sick. Kipalisa was a lot older than you, wasn't he? Did he put you up to what you did before he died?"
"No." said Halena, shaking her head sadly. "I made that decision myself. He had wanted me to stay out of danger. I was strictly an informant. But I couldn't let his death go unpunished."
In that moment, the two women's eyes met, and for a few brief seconds there was a flicker of understanding. It left as fast as it had come, but it carried so much with it. "Still," Hitomi said to the green-eyed girl before her "I think asking a big favor of someone immediately after a declaration of love is pretty abrupt. Don't you?"
"How could you possibly know about that?" Halena asked, visually startled.
Hitomi felt a gentle warmth against her collarbone where the pendant lay, but it didn't register. "And somewhere inside, you know that you doubt Kipalisa." she continued. "You know you doubt whether or not he was right, and you doubt whether or not he loved you."
Halena sniffled abruptly, turning her head away. "How can you just suddenly know how and what I think and feel?!" With that, she buried her face in her hands and began to spill the tears that she said she would never cry again.
Hitomi was surprised at her own words. She was surprised at what she had seen when she looked in to Halena's eyes. Then she noticed the warmth emanating from the pendant and quietly pressed her palm against it. When she left the dungeon, it was coming off and it was staying off, probably for good. But for the time being, it had aided her again. Maybe. Awkwardly, she reached out placed her hand on Halena's shoulder. Halena had remarkable control of her emotions. She had already ceased the flow of tears to a few small sniffles.
"I don't think it's doing you much good to keep it all inside like that, either." Hitomi said.
"I have to hold everything together." she said. "No matter what. I don't want anyone to see how broken and useless I really am. I would rather die. Please see to it that my death comes soon, Hitomi."
"Don't talk like that." Hitomi said. "I don't know what we are going to do with you, but you're not going to be executed."
"No matter what I do, I can't die." Halena said with a sigh of frustration. "Every thing that happens is just another scar." She absently traced along the line of the new cut through the bandage on her wrist with her fingers. "Maybe," Hitomi offered, "that's because you still have a purpose here in this world. You're not broken and you're not useless. You're not evil, either. You're young, and you were mislead horribly by someone who offered you their kindness. That's what I've gathered from talking to you, that is." She hesitated. "Perhaps he really did love you, but he still had no right to abuse your loyalty for his own motives. It hurts, Halena, but it's over with now. You have a whole lifetime before you. You shouldn't be so quick to throw it away."
Just then, hurried footsteps came rushing down the stairs. Halena dried her eyes as quickly as she could. Hitomi turned to see Van, his eyes narrowed and nose crinkled in a painfully sour expression. "Hitomi!" he exclaimed, making no attempt to hide his displeasure. "I told you to leave it be!"
"Van, I thought we already had it established that I make my own decisions!" she snapped back.
He frowned and his expression softened. "I just didn't want you to suffer any more on my account. Let's not fight, please? Not again so soon." His voice had become remarkably gentle. He walked forward and captured her in an embrace which she lovingly returned, brushing his hair away to gaze in to his eyes. It was if they had entirely forgotten that they were in the dungeon in front of a prisoner. Van turned his glance awkwardly to Halena, who was watching them with wide peridot eyes, then immediately back to Hitomi.
"Will you come back to bed now?" he asked. Hitomi nodded. He wrapped his arm around hers and led her from the scene. She looked back over her shoulder at Halena, who was still staring, practically stupefied.
"Good night, Halena. Things will work out." she whispered, smiling warmly as she walked away.
Does Van-sama really love Hitomi? Halena wondered, Is that what love is?
The sky glowed blue with the impending dawn as Hitomi tucked her pendant back in to the depths of her duffel bag. Van doesn't need to know about this. It will just stay here, safe and undisturbed. A thought occurred to her and she looked down at her engagement ring. That was energist too, wasn't it? It hadn't reacted as the pendant had... It was a different shade of energist though, blue green to match the moons as opposed to the magenta teardrop stone that had hung around her throat. Maybe that had something to do with it. Maybe the red energist was just stronger.
Without the two energist stones on the ring, she wouldn't have been able to come to Fanelia on her own when she was ready. It was almost as if it had been foresight on Van's part. Perhaps that ring should be tucked away too, though, after the wedding. The power to amplify someone's wishes was not something to be thrown around.
Van yawned on the other side of the room, blissfully unaware of Hitomi's inner dialogue. "It's useless to try to go back to sleep now." he said.
"I think we overslept yesterday, anyway." she answered. "I'm not tired at all."
"Neither am I." he replied as she flopped down beside him. His dark eyes met hers and his lips curled in to a devious smile. She returned it knowingly and straddled his lap, pulling him in to a sitting position. His breath deepened instantly as he kissed her, fumbling to unhook the clasps of her coral-colored nightgown. The satiny fabric slid down over her shoulders and bunched up around her waist like flower petals in the warm orange lamplight as Van slid his hand up her thigh.
"We're quick to pick up where we left off." Hitomi laughed in his ear. He mumbled something incoherent in to the skin of her shoulder in response.
"I almost feel bad with all that's happened, that here I am doing this." she said as she slid her fingers over his lower back and beneath the waistband of his pants.
"Better today than yesterday, right after we made up." Van answered.
"I suppose so. Do you think we'll ever get bored of this?"
"I don't think I could ever get bored of this." he replied, forcing her gently backward on to the bed, the exposed skin of his chest pressed against hers. "Now stop talking and do something useful with your mouth." He smirked.
"I should smack you..."
He stopped her threat with a kiss, and that was that. The sun rose golden outside the window as they finished what they had started that night in the spring. Things weren't entirely right in the world again, but in the moment, they were right enough.
In the days that followed, Merle made herself scarce. She had a new project to keep her from thinking too much about the fight with Van. That was Morris, the orphan dolphin-boy she rescued from Asturia. In the commotion since returning to the castle, he'd been left unattended and raided the kitchen, decimating Merle's entire supply of salted fish. By then he'd learned enough of the native tongue to grin sheepishly and offer up a simple explanation of "I was hungry?" She would have taken her claws to anyone else.
Every day she took Morris out in to the city, trying to find something that he was good at, or that piqued his interest, at the very least. He was more interested in playing and eating than any kind of business or trade. Merle was sympathetic, though. She could relate.
Despite her anger with Van, she couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said to her about Celena. In her mind there was only one way to find out how the both of them felt, despite the risk of the unpleasantness that could result. Things had already recently become rather strange and unpleasant on their own. She didn't care what Van thought, or at least she'd like to think she didn't. Whatever the case, she refused to let him get in the way.
AN: The next chapter should prove satisfying for fans of the Merle and Celena pairing. There's also a bachelor party sometime in the near future. ~_^ Things are going to be a bit more light-hearted from this point on. I'm expecting this thing to pan out in to ten chapters plus an epilogue.
I may also be posting the beginning of my next project sometime soon, and I see no harm in finally sharing with you guys what it is. It's a bit different from BTM, to be sure. It's an Escaflowne prequel entitled "Devotion: The Story of a Boy and His Cats." It's written in the first-person and alternates between Nariya, Eriya and Folken's POV. My first fictional venture to the Zaibach side of the fence. ^_^ And there won't be any citrus in this one, sorry to the few who that dissapoints. ~_^ Keep your eyes out for it.
I'm still probably going to change my pen name, just thought I'd put out a final warning. If you don't have me bookmarked, in your favorites, or anything and you'd like to be informed of my new pen name so that you can still follow this story, please e-mail me at escaflowne@opalwings.com.
Song Quote: "In Or Out" by Ani DiFranco.
Site Plug: http://www.opalwings.com/escaflowne