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Beneath Two Moons
9. New Beginnings
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By Jessica Lynn S. (escaflowne@opalwings.com)
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Spoilers: The entire Escaflowne series.
Warnings: Sensuality, shoujo-ai (romance between two female characters), and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or its characters. No profit is being made from my silly fanfiction hobby. ^_^ I do, however, own this fic and the original characters in contains. Please do not post this story anywhere without asking first.
Summary: Halena's fate is decided, and Merle and Celena finally have a serious conversation. Has the rift between Merle and Van become too big to repair? A short installment to let everyone know that I'm still alive.
AN: This is a mini-chapter in comparison to the previous ones, but I wanted to get something posted. About a month lapses between the events of this chapter and what comes next, so it would have been awkward trying to encompass it all in the same chapter anyway. I will say this now: if anyone who is reading this story is particuarly uncomfortable with the shoujo-ai component, they're advised to turn back.
In the capitol city of Fanelia, a woman sat on a stair in front of her house. She looked older than she really was; with thinning brown hair and wrinkled, weary eyes. The front of her dark green peasant's dress was soiled from kneeling to work in the garden. Her hands were dirty and her nails were chipped. She'd just planted a fresh crop of vegetables, and she stared whimsically over the patch of freshly-dug dirt. She wished she could plant flowers. Perhaps in a few years, when her children were old enough to work, she would have enough money that she didn't need to use all the space she had for growing food anymore.
She stared idly at the vacant house next door and wondered where the man that used to live there had gone. Her eyes wandered back to her own yard, and to the children. A young boy and girl played in the grass. The clothes they wore were old and tattered, but they were happy. As far as she was concerned, that was what mattered.
Hoofbeats sounded occasionally in the distance. Eventually, a singular set of hoofbeats seperated itself from the rest and became more prominent. Someone was coming down the path. The woman looked to the road to see the lone figure of a younger woman approaching on horseback.
The younger woman had curiously short brown hair, and the older woman assumed she was a foriegner. The young woman smiled and waved at the older woman, coming to a halt in front of the vacant house.
"If you're looking for Kipalisa, he has been gone for a long time. It's been a few weeks since anyone in the neighborhood has seen him." the older woman called out.
"This is where he lived, then?" asked the younger woman.
The older woman simply nodded in reply.
"He's dead." the younger woman stated bluntly. "I am conducting a sort of investigation on him. Do you mind if I asked you a few questions?"
The older woman wore a curious expression. "Dead, hmm?" she asked. "What of?"
"He was involved in criminal activities." said the younger woman. "He died attempting a murder. Does that surprise you?"
"Nothing surprises me anymore." said the older woman. She sighed as her eyes wandered momentarily to the horizon, as if she was contemplating something from the distant past. The young woman studied her uncertainly, until the older woman seemed to snap back in to reality. "Tell me, do you work for Van-sama?" she asked curiously. "I'm surprised to see a lady conducting an investigation, no offense to you."
"I guess you could say that." said Hitomi, not wanting to reveal her identity. She smiled, fighting the urge to say, Yes, my job entitles many different...duties. "I have been authorized by him to come here, if that's what you want to know." she added.
"Well, I trust ya." said the older woman. "The reason I was asking is that I wanted to know about a young woman who works in the castle as a maid. She used to live with Kipalisa. Her name is Halena. Do you know if she is doing all right?"
"Halena is okay." Hitomi affirmed. "She was...a bit shaken up. I'm trying to look out for her welfare. She lived with Kipalisa for a few months before she was hired by Van-sama, correct?"
The older woman nodded. "It struck me as kind of odd that they were living together. He seemed a little old for her. I never thought too well of the situation. But Halena helped my family so much."
"Really?" asked Hitomi. "How?"
"I lost my husband and eldest son in the attack four years ago. It's been hard getting by since then. Halena never spoke much to me, but every month or so since she's been working, she's come home for a few days and given me some of her money. I asked her not to, but she insisted I take it. She always refuses my generosity, too. I can't get her to sit down for as much as a cup of tea. She's always so stony, you know? She'll give kindness, but she won't accept it at all in return. I don't think she thinks too well of herself."
Hitomi was fairly surprised by the relevation. The previous day she had surveyed the former maid's room, and found precious little in the way of money or posessions. She had assumed that Kipalisa had been garnishing Halena's wages for his own use. "Thank you for telling me." she said.
"If she needs a place to go, now that she's lost that man, my home is always open to her." the older woman said.
"That's a very kind offer." said Hitomi. "However, I doubt that she will be back for a long time. She's going to Freid."
"Freid?"
"I'm not at liberty to discuss the reasons." Hitomi said. "I will tell her that you asked about her though. In a few days, some guards will be coming to go through Kipalisa's posessions. Don't be alarmed by them. We're hoping to create an account for her with what we seize, so that she can live a good life."
"It's nice to see the royalty looking out for their employees." the old woman said with a smile.
Halena was surprised when she found out she was being sent to Freid. Hitomi had quickly and thoroughly managed to research the limited options on Gaea for psychological treatment. It turned out that Freid was on the forefront of research in that field. A group of monks had set up a facility where residents - mostly survivors of war - could live and interact within the community, while receiving the counseling and surveilence they needed.
There, Halena would have the opportunity to attend an actual school, which was still a priveledge rather than an obligation in most Gaean countries. She would also have an opportunity to start over, in a place where no one knew of her crimes. Finally free of Kipalisa's manipulation, she'd be able to pursue her own destiny in the world. Hitomi was satisfied with her decision, and Van supported it as well.
Halena, on the other hand, was terrified. Living in the Fanelian dungeon until the end of her days had more appeal to her than having her brains picked and emotions exposed by some monk in a distant country she had never even seen. She hadn't really known freedom since her childhood, and she was unsure of what she would do with it once it was dropped in to her hands. She kept this fear to herself, though, just as she'd done with almost every feeling that had come before it. She spent the days idly surveying the patterns in the stone walls of her cell, her features a picture of indifference.
It was decided that Van's birthday would be a low-key affair. Anything too extravagant would detract from the splendor of the coming wedding; now only a color away. There were very few guests at the celebration beyond palace staff, so Celena supposed that she should feel honored to be invited.
The king of Fanelia and his bride-to-be were something else that night. They wore coordinated outfits of bold red silk. Their movement through the room was like something ethereal as they mingled and interacted seamlessly with their guests, staff, and each other. They seemed untouchable; a picture of confidence and contentment.
Celena disbelievingly recalled Hitomi slouched, sobbing and puffy-eyed, over the table in Merle's bedroom not so long ago; her emotions in turmoil over what Van had done. The couple seemed to have bounced back from their crisis as solid as ever. Celena had heard of the poisoning drama from Allen, and she vaguely supposed that could be the reason for their smooth reconciliation.
Celena also supposed she should be happy for Hitomi and Van, but she was supposing a lot. For reasons she could not fathom, the sight of them behaving as if things were nothing short of perfect made her feel bitter rather than happy. She stared listlessly at the glass of vino in her hand, from which she hadn't even bothered to sip. She had never really liked the taste of the stuff, and though she had a high tolerance, she wasn't pleasant once she did achieve a druken state.
At Allen and Eries' wedding, the Crusade crew had egged her on to drink as much as possible. That unfortunate incident had ended with her challenging Gaddess to a fist fight, Allen locking her in her room until she sobered, and having a "talk" with his men. They'd been afraid to do so much as look at her ever since. Merle had never let her live that experience down.
She'd seen nothing of the cat-girl since she'd arrived in Fanelia, and she doubted that she was going to. Van had regretfully informed her that Merle wasn't feeling well and could not have visitors, as they'd disturb her rest. This baffled Celena. Only a few years ago, before her job and responsibilities, she had come to visit once when Merle was ill. Not only was she permitted to see the cat-girl then, she helped care for her. Merle stayed in bed for two days straight and Celena stayed dutifully by her side, keeping her company and bringing her whatever she needed.
Van had thanked her quite profusely for her help then. He even offered her an obscene amount of money to express his gratitude, which she politely refused. Now she worried that maybe Merle just didn't want to see her and Van was trying to spare her feelings.
Somewhere along the course of Celena's wistful reminiscence, one of the castle servants broke out a guitar, announcing that it just wouldn't be a party without music and dancing. He sat in the corner of the room and began to strum out a slow, romantic tune. Celena had hardly noticed the music until she looked up and observed the sight of Van and Hitomi dancing. Their dance was far from the waltzes Allen and Eries had perfected, but it wasn't without beauty. They stared in to each other's eyes as they circled the floor in a tight embrace. A few times Hitomi would stumble, but Van would promptly catch her. One time, he tripped over his own feet, and was caught by her. All eyes were fixed upon them, but as far as the lovers were concerned, they were the only ones in the room.
Celena raised the glass of vino to her lips and chugged it all down in one quick gulp, wincing as the bitter taste washed over her palette and stung the back of her throat. She slumped down in a chair against the wall, letting her eyes drift in and out of focus as the alcohal buzz came on. It wasn't much of a buzz. It just made her feel worse. Her eyelids felt heavy and she started to think that perhaps she should retire for the night. Sleeping would be preferable to sitting alone in a crowded room and feeling sorry for herself. She was just about ready to leave, when, to her surprise, she felt a warm arm drape over her shoulder and fall to wrap around her waist.
"Hi Celena-chan." Merle's voice purred low in her ear. Celena's eyes lit up in an instant and she turned in her seat, returning her friend's hug gratefully. Even when Merle slipped out of the embrace, she rested her arm on Celena's shoulder.
"Are you feeling better?" Celena asked. "Wow, you look good!" she exclaimed before the cat-girl even had a chance to answer. Without fail, Merle had worn something revealing; a burgundy-shade dress slit up either side, sleeveless and laced in the front to exhibit a rather large portion of cleavage. A clear crescent-shaped pendant hung against her collarbone. Her pink hair was swept up gracefully so that only the ends hung down, brushing against the back of her neck. Her eyes and smile were radiant. In Celena's mind, if Hitomi and Van had been stars, Merle was the sun. Her brightness seemed to eclipse the entire room, but no one else really seemed to notice.
"Thanks." said Merle with a smile. "I bought the dress from a merchant a few days ago. Supposedly it's the latest fashion in Egzardia. And I'm feeling just fine, Celena. I was avoiding Van. He and I have had some...differences...lately."
"Over what happened with Hitomi?" Celena asked. "Are those two really getting along as well as they make it look these days?"
"Oh, they're getting along better than ever." Merle said disenchantedly. "That's not what we fought about though. Look, I'll tell you about it some other time. Why don't you come up to the roof with me now?" Celena nodded, rising to her feet. Merle looped her arm in Celena's and began to lead her from the room.
Unbeknownst to Celena or anyone else, Van momentarily broke his eye contact with Hitomi to shoot Merle a dissaproving glance. She glared daggers back at him and gripped Celena's arm ever-the-more tightly as they exited the room.
"Hmm, this is still my favorite place in the entire world." said Celena with a nostalgic smile as she looked out over the rooftops of Fanelia. Merle took a seat beside her, snuggling against her as she always did.
"You're warm, Celena-chan." she whispered.
"I don't feel warm." said the ashy-haired girl, putting her arm around the cat-girl. "I've been feeling pretty empty lately."
"Strange; wasn't I the one who was saying that the last time we were up here?" Merle questioned.
"Come to think of it, yeah, you were. Do you still feel that way?"
"Not quite. Not anymore." the cat-girl replied. "Celena-chan?"
"Yes."
"I want you to kiss me."
Celena felt a strange sense of detachment upon hearing Merle's request. She was certain her mind was playing a trick on her. Perhaps she'd really fallen asleep in the midst of the party, to the sweetest alcohal-induced dream of her life. But it would be nothing more than a dream; something fleeting. She was convinced that at any moment, she'd wake up to a terrible hangover. "Why do you want me to kiss you?" she asked wearily.
"I just do." Merle answered as if it were the most simple request in the world. In reality, it was. It was just a simple series of motions which could be executed in a matter of seconds. But she hadn't kissed Merle before, even when she'd wanted to with all of her heart. She didn't know if she had the courage to do it now.
Carefully, as not to draw attention to herself, she pressed her thumb and forefinger in to the curve of her own elbow. She pinched the sensitive skin there, hard. When the pain shot through her, her doubt as to the reality of the situation was removed. Her heart began to pound rapidly, and she moved her fingers to her chest, pressing softly in attempt to quiet it. What a strange situation this was! All she could do was look on with wide eyes, and try to remember to breathe.
Once again, that invisible barrier was there, even if the kiss had been requested. It was probably just a silly, affectionate cat-girl gesture which would carry no deeper meaning. Merle's nonchalant attitude would certainly indicate such.
Finally, she asked, "Would you kiss me instead?"
Merle nodded in response, turning to face her friend. Celena gave an involuntary shiver. "Are you sure you want to, Merle?" she asked.
Merle pressed a finger to Celena's lips in the kind of gesture that would take place between lovers. "Yes." she smiled. I'm entirely sure. She leaned in closer toward her. Celena inched backwards nervously.
"Cut that out." Merle pouted. "You don't want me to kiss you!"
Celena sighed. "No, I don't have a problem with it. I just...don't understand." She decided that talking any more would just damn it all to hell, so she closed her eyes and braced herself for what was to come. She could give no indication of how she really felt about it. She didn't want to scare her friend. Merle pressed her lips against hers for what was perhaps five seconds, then backed away.
"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" the cat-girl grinned at her accomplishment.
"No..." said Celena, who was blushing a deep tomato-shade. "But what was the point of it?"
"Well," asked Merle, "you love me, right?"
Celena nodded. "Of course I do, you're my best-"
"Then let me kiss you again." said the cat-girl. She climbed in to Celena's lap and put her arms around her. "Come on, relax." Merle said, stroking her fingertips gently across the tops of Celena's shoulders and through her hair. "It's just me, Merle. See?" She gave a big, toothy grin that caused Celena to laugh. Some of the tension left her body, and the next kiss wasn't quite as awkward.
By about the fifth kiss, Celena was finally starting to get used to the concept that her best friend was sitting in her lap, kissing her repetitively. The kisses were quick and chaste, unlike Hitomi and Van, who often attempted to eat each other's faces. Allen and Eries didn't eat each other's faces, at least not in her presence. They were too proper for that. She shuddered involuntarily when she thought of Allen. What would he say about this?
"Did you like it?" Merle asked.
"Well, I didn't dislike it." Celena answered hesitantly, not knowing what kind of response the cat-girl expected of her. "Did you like it?" she asked nervously.
"Sure." said Merle. "I wanted to know what it would be like."
That was it, then? Celena frowned in frustration. Boldly she tilted the cat-girl's chin upwards and proceeded to kiss her in the less-than-innocent manner that she had previously contemplated. Merle's eyes nearly bugged out of her head, but she made no effort to pull away. Celena found that the act of kissing that way - which she thought would be awkward - came quite naturally to her.
Maybe Dilandu had been an expert kisser? she wondered. But even if that were the case, the knowledge was now her own to use as she saw fit. Had Merle been equally good at it, the kiss would of lasted longer, but she began to cough and sputter, not knowing to breathe through her nose.
Celena patted her back lamely. "Sorry about that, Merle." she said. "I didn't mean to suffocate you..."
"That's okay." said Merle, laying her head on her shoulder. "I'll get better at it."
"Does that mean...it will be happening often?"
"I think so." Merle purred, peering up through half-lidded eyes.
"I still don't understand..." Celena sighed weakly. "Best friends don't usually do this?"
"Mm...you love me, right?" she said, laying her head on Celena's shoulder.
"I already told you..." Celena began.
"Like Hitomi loves Van, though?" Merle interupted, "Like Allen loves Eries? Like Millernia loves Dryden?"
Celena made no attempt to hide the broad smile that stretched across her face. There was no reason for disbelief anymore, and she decided to go with the game. "Like you love fish?" she asked mischeviously.
"More so. Like you love swordplay?" Merle retorted.
"More than that." Celena kissed her forehead.
"I take that as a yes." Merle said.
"And it doesn't matter that I'm a girl?" Celena asked.
"It doesn't matter that I'm a silly little cat-girl?" Merle answered.
"It doesn't matter that I'm a girl who used to be a boy who destroyed your country and tried to kill Van?"
"You should have killed him." Merle grumbled.
"That bad, hmm?" asked Celena, playing with the strands of hair which hung against the back of Merle's neck. "You can tell me about it."
"It's just...I don't want to talk about it." Merle frowned a bit, staring at her hands.
"Okay, but I love you." Celena said.
Merle's expression brightened again. "I love you too."
"Mmm, I've missed you. I wish I never had to go back to Asturia again."
"No, I'll come with you to Asturia." said Merle with sudden conviction. "Please take me away from this place."
The next morning, Hitomi awoke to find Van slumped over the table in their room, his head in his hands. His fingers were threaded through the thick black strands of his hair, still tangled from sleep. "Morning?" she asked, giving him a quizzical expression.
"Yes, something's wrong." he answered solemnly, having translated her body language. He picked up a note and flicked his wrist listlessly, beckoning her to come and take it from him, as he hadn't the motivation to move across the room. It was from Merle, and it was hard to read, as if it had been scribbled in haste.
Van,
You have fucked up for the last time. You're not who you used to be, and I'm not coming back from Asturia this time, even if you do get poisoned again. I love Celena, she loves me, and you are not going to take that away from us.
Merle
"Are you going to go after her? Maybe try to apologize?" Hitomi asked, putting the letter down.
Van inhaled deeply, mentally suctioning every last emotion he felt inside to be sealed away for all eternity. He looked Hitomi in the eye and said: "No. She deserves to be happy. I can't expect her to stay when there is so much more for her there."
AN: It seems like the delays between these chapters are getting longer and longer. Baaah! I'm sorry for that. This is what I've done since writing the last chapter: started college, got sick for the first week, took a lot of Day-Quil, wrote two essays, accidentally stabbed myself with a linoleum-carving tool, fell in an icy parking lot, had a quiz, got sick again, missed three classes, had three out-of-state guests, took a psychology test, watched 90 episodes of Inuyasha (my new favorite series) and wrote a fanfic about Miroku and Sango (which I am posting at the same time as this chapter, if anyone wants to check it out.)
Yeah, there was no bachelor party here. Sorry about that. I'm moving that up to the next chapter, which may also be a while in coming. Further apologies if this sounds choppy or burnt-out. It's the best I can muster right now. Thanks for sticking with me. Anyone get my "Freidian Psychology" pun? ^_^
Site Plug: http://www.opalwings.com/escaflowne (Currently on a sort-of hiatus due to lack of time, but I'll try to update it again eventually.)