Well, another chapter down, I hope you like it. Over my lovely
Thanksgiving Holiday I managed to write one college essay, and do a few
chapters of my story overall I was quite productive, although I saved 150
pages of Pride and Prejudice for Sunday. But what can you do?
Enjoy the story (
"What did you just say?" Sirius asked, whipping away from the closet. There was a glint in his eye that terrified Harry.
Harry looked up fearfully, and spoke with his voice quivering, both from cold and fear, "I don't know, I thought I just saw Pettigrew in the corner. Don't worry, I probably just imagined it."
Sirius and Remus both looked at Harry suspiciously. "Are you sure Harry?" Remus asked. "Do you really think it was just your imagination?"
Harry glanced at Sirius who still had that frightening glint in his eye. It reminded Harry of the Sirius he had first met in the Shrieking Shack during his third year. That Sirius had been halfway to crazy, and Harry hoped to never see him like that again.
"Yeah, it was just my imagination. Probably just shadows or something," Harry lied. He was positive that he had seen a rat in the corner of the room, and just as sure that it was none other than Peter Pettigrew in his animagus form.
Sirius seemed satisfied with this answer as he lost the glint in his eyes and turned back to the closet. Remus resumed stroking Harry's head, trying to calm him down, although he still glanced suspiciously at Harry every now and then.
Sirius finally found some pajamas that would (almost) fit Harry. He strode over to the bed, and put them on Harry's shivering body.
Remus stood up and said, "I'm going to go make some breakfast. You two stay here, I'll bring it up."
Sirius turned to Harry and said, "Are you up for a game of chess Harry?"
"Sure," Harry replied. Sirius ran to get a board and pieces and Harry tried to pull himself up into more of a sitting position. He still glanced at the corner occasionally, but eventually convinced himself that he really had just imagined seeing the rat. Sirius and Harry played one game of chess before Remus came back with breakfast. Harry won by a landslide (A/N: I really know nothing about chess, so I'm not going to go into detail here at all (), and then played against Remus. Remus kicked Harry's butt ten times harder than Harry had just kicked Sirius's. They played tournament style for the next few hours until an owl came through Sirius's bedroom window.
The letter was from Professor Dumbledore, and the two men paled when they read it. After they finished, they glanced apprehensively at Harry.
"What's wrong Sirius.Remus?" Harry asked tentatively.
Sirius walked over to Harry's bed and put an arm around him. Remus also walked over and sat by Harry's feet.
"Harry," Sirius began. "There was an attack on your old house this morning. All of the Dursley's have been killed." That's all Sirius would reveal, waiting for a reaction from Harry. Whatever reaction he had been expecting, he didn't get. Harry just shrugged, and started picking up chess pieces from his bed.
"Harry, the last of your relatives are dead, you don't care at all?" Sirius asked incredulously.
"What do you want me to feel?" Harry nearly yelled. "They beat me up, they never loved me! I hated them! I'm not happy that they're dead, but I'm certainly not sad about it! If anyone deserved a good death eater attack it was them!"
Remus and Sirius stared open mouthed at Harry, Remus recovered from shock first, and said, "Surely you don't mean that Harry. I know they hurt you, and you didn't like them, but how can you not care that they're dead?"
"I'm sorry, but I really don't care!" Harry yelled. He was pretty angry now. "I'm just relieved. I'm relieved that I never have to see them again! I'm relieved that you got me out of there before I was attacked too! But I really don't care that they're gone! I just don't." Harry added the last bit quietly.
Again, the men just looked at him shocked. Harry felt slightly embarrassed about his outburst, and looked again at the lump his feet made under the blankets. Again, he willed his feet to move, but alas nothing happened.
"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled, still trying to make those feet move.
"Harry you don't need to be sorry for your feelings. We're just surprised that's all. To tell you the truth, they're lucky they died, this way they escaped the wrath of Sirius. I assure you it would have been a much worse fate." Remus told Harry soothingly. Harry was a very strange boy. He opened up, and then immediately shut back up like a clam. "We need to get Harry to be more open more often, without the closing up part," Remus thought to himself.
"So Harry, I take it you don't want to go to the funeral?" Sirius inquired tentatively, not wanting to make his godson yell again.
Harry shook his head surely. Then said, "Can we just play some more chess?"
"Sure Harry, for a little while, but Dumbledore also said that he's be coming over later today, so we can't play for too much longer, okay bud?" Sirius replied.
Harry nodded and they began to play again.
Professor Dumbledore arrived around 3:00 in the afternoon. He had important business with Remus and Sirius, but thought it was important to first visit with Harry. Thus his first stop was visiting Harry where he lay like an invalid in Sirius's bed.
"How are you feeling Harry?" he asked when he reached the young boy who had been through so much. Dumbledore always kept this to himself, but he felt very much to blame for the young boys problems.
Harry looked him squarely in the face, without a trace of a smile, and replied stiffly, "I'm fine, thank you."
"Perhaps he blames me for his problems, too," Dumbledore thought grimly.
"Well, Harry..I'm terribly sorry about this whole ordeal. If I'd have known you were being treated that poorly at your aunt and uncles home, I would have found better quarters for you."
"Well it's too late now, isn't it Professor?" Harry replied venomously. "It's too late to take back the damage, right? But at least I still managed to save the wizarding world, so my suffering isn't important. Isn't that right?"
Dumbledore looked down at Harry thoroughly shocked by this outburst. "I truly am sorry, Harry." he began calmly, attempting to soothe the boy. "It is important that you saved the wizarding world, yes, but your happiness is just as important as that! No I'm terribly sorry for all that I have put you through, but you're right. What's done is done and there is nothing I can do about it except apologize. Will you take my apology Mr. Potter?"
Harry watched his professor for a few minutes, considering what he had just said, he was satisfied, but wanted to see if he could get anymore out of him.
Harry's silence did in fact, persuade Dumbledore to carry on, "Harry, there's nothing I can do about the past, but the future I can help you with. I'm already in the works to put up wards around this house so you can safely stay here. You will for as long as you like have a home where there are people who love you. That's the best I can do for you my dear boy, and I swear to you I will keep my word on that." Dumbledore didn't know why he wanted Harry's trust back so much, but that was all that mattered to him at that moment.
Again, Harry just stared at his Headmaster for a moment, this time do to awe at the power of his words. Just the way he spoke about the future, made Harry certain that everything would come around for the best. Harry nodded and said, "Okay, Headmaster. I'm really sorry." Harry again turned a little sheepish at his outburst.
"No need to be sorry my boy. It's good to get your feelings out once in a while. I just hope I'm not on the receiving end of that one again anytime soon. Now is there anything new with you Harry?"
"Nothing you don't already know, Professor. We just played chess all day," Harry replied, although the thought of seeing Wormtail in the corner had again flashed into his memory, he didn't want the headmaster to think he had gone insane when he became an invalid.
"Well that's good to hear Harry, now if you don't mind I'm going to need to steal Sirius and Remus from you," Dumbledore replied. Harry just nodded, and leaned back in to his pillows. Remus looked at him with worried eyes. Sirius walked over to him, pulled his blanket up to his chin, and then ruffled Harry's hair.
"Just call if you need anything, okay?" he said lovingly. Harry smiled at the tone of Sirius's voice and nodded his head. He watched as the men exited Sirius's room, and then he sighed.
Seeing as Harry couldn't move, he ended up just laying in bed thinking. "I guess I can't really blame Dumbledore for sending me to live with the Dursley's. I mean, he couldn't take care of me, he was far too busy. And I really had no one else before I came to Hogwarts. As far as I know, all of my parents friends were dead or in Azkaban, poor Sirius. But.what about Remus? He wasn't hurt or in prison! He could have taken me in and he didn't. And now he decides to play hero and be my best friend! I don't think so!" Harry was fuming in the bed now, how could he have never thought of this before? While the men were talking, Harry sat growing more and more angry with Remus by the minute. He kept replaying all the kind things Remus had don't for him, and now thought that they meant nothing.
Meanwhile, the men were in Remus's kitchen, as far from Harry as they could get, so that he couldn't overhear.
"I'm really worried about him," Remus said cynically. "He's getting angry a lot, I'm afraid that that temper of his is soon going to overflow. It seems like he's looking for someone to blame for all that's happened to him. I have a feeling I'm going to be next."
Sirius nodded in agreement, "I can't believe he blew up at you of all people Dumbledore! He's really got some pent up anger in there. I'm glad he's getting it out though. Remember what happened when James held his anger too long?"
"Of course I do, Padfoot, I was on the receiving end of that. How was I supposed to know he liked Lily, if he had told me maybe I wouldn't have gone out with her in the first place. But yeah, I thought he was going to kill me after that ball when I cut into his dance with her."
"Yeah well consider yourself lucky. I had to listen to him rant and rave every night after he saw you two kissing or cuddling in the common room. Yeah, he was some angry with you, but he remained loyal. He still saved Snape from you, and you know as well as I do he didn't do it for Snape. He did that for you."
Remus nodded, "I just hope Harry will stay loyal too."
"Yes, yes," Dumbledore said trying to wrap up that conversation. "I can't stay that long, and we need to talk about the boy's well being." He watched the men making sure he got their full attention back. "Voldemort is still a great threat to him, and I'm sure Mr. Pettigrew is out there still, skulking around him. It is obvious that they're after Harry, as his house was just attacked. We're quite lucky you two got him out in time. Now, I have a plan for wards around this house. I'm going to have to make them stronger than they were at the Dursley's because that obviously didn't work. Listen closely, because I only want to tell you all of this once, are you ready?"
"Yes sir," they both replied, listening raptly.
"Okay, first there will be no apparating or disapparating around this house for a radius of 5 miles. I know this will make things a little difficult for travel, but I think it's a necessary precaution. Second, your floo entrance will be voice activated. Anyone other than you two and Harry will not be admitted. This does not mean you won't be able to have visitors. It shall work rather like a muggle answering service. Somebody who wants to enter simply must say the name of your home, and then they'll be asked to tell who they are. It is your job to judge who may and may not come in. Do you understand so far?"
Both Sirius and Remus nodded.
"Also, around the circumference of this house is a dark mark repeller. Anyone with the dark mark anywhere on his or her body can't just walk through. However, if you let them through the fire place nothing will happen to them. So I repeat, use caution with whom you let in. When possible, go to someone, rather than having them come to you. That's the important business, I also have some high tech wards that I don't want to confuse you with. They're basically there so the others don't get shutdown. Now, I must be off. I'll be in contact with you soon, and I believe Madam Pomfrey will be over to check on Harry in a few days. And I ask you, to try to get the boy to open up. Even if it hurts you, just listen and try to be understanding of him. He really needs it."
"Will do, Dumbledore," Sirius replied. "Goodbye."
"Bye," Remus added.
"Farewell," Dumbledore said before walking to the fireplace and flooing out.
"I'm going to go check on Harry, Moony. I'll be back down in a few."
"Okay Sirius, I think I'm going to start on dinner. Spaghetti sound okay to you?"
"Yeah, sounds great..with garlic bread?"
Remus laughed and then replied, "But of course."
Sirius left the room and climbed the stairs, he peered in before entering and was shocked at what he saw. Harry was laying in bed propped up on pillows. The only way to describe his expression was "Pissed." His arms were crossed defiantly over his chest, and his fists and teeth were clenched. His face was a deep red, and his green eyes had gone from a bright emerald, to a deep forest green. Harry was slowly shaking his head, and his hair was ten times more messy than usual.
Sirius stepped in the room to see what was wrong and said, "Harry, what's up? You look kind of upset."
Harry looked up startled, with a glare in his eyes. Realizing it was Sirius he softened his expression a bit, but he still looked really angry. "It's nothing Sirius. I don't feel like talking."
"Are you sick or something Harry?"
"No, I'm fine. I just want to be left alone," Harry replied, annoyance evident in his voice.
"Okay Harry, calm down. I'll leave you alone if that what you want. Do you want me to get you something to do? A book or something maybe?"
Harry just shook his head and glared at his feet.
"Okay, well Sirius is making spaghetti for dinner. Garlic bread too! We'll eat up here with you okay?"
"NO!" Harry bellowed immediately. "I don't want to eat with HIM!"
Sirius looked startled for a moment, but soon realized what was going on. He walked over and sat on the edge of Harry's bed and put a hand on his shoulder.
"So I guess you're angry with Remus, huh?" Sirius replied, looking Harry square in the face.
Harry nodded.
"May I ask why?" Sirius asked, although he was quite sure what the answer was.
"I really don't want to talk about it Sirius." Harry replied looking at his feet.
"Well I do."
Harry just looked defiantly at Sirius. Sirius stared back with the same look in his eyes.
"Come on Harry, I'm not going to get mad or anything. Talk to me!"
Harry stared back a few moments longer and then sighed in resignation. "It's his fault I was stuck at the Dursley's all that time. He could have taken me in after my parent died, but he didn't, he just left me to suffer with them, and wouldn't have even checked up on me if he hadn't taught me during third year. He doesn't care about me at all! I don't want to be around him!" Harry got rather winded as he was saying this and shut up like a clam when he was done. He no longer looked angry, but looked rather like he was going to cry. He wasn't just mad that Remus hadn't taken him in, he was hurt.
"Remus was right," Sirius thought. "Harry is one of those people who just shouldn't be left alone with his thoughts. He gets far too carried away with them."
"Harry, you can't blame Remus. Can you imagine what he was going through after that? Can you? All of his friends, with the exception of me, were supposedly dead, and I was in jail. He thought I had done it! Unless I'm much mistake, Remus was too afraid to let anyone else get near him, afraid they'd be torn away like everyone else in his life. He didn't want to risk losing you too. He probably thought you were in danger being around him. Not to mention what happens to him once a month! Please don't stay mad at Moony, Harry. I KNOW he was just trying to do what he thought was right."
"I can't help but be mad Sirius. I spent fifteen miserable years with the Dursley's, and what was he doing?" Harry said, his voice cracking from trying to hold back tears. He really didn't want Sirius to know how upset he was about Remus not taking him in.
"Calm down Harry, have you even brought this up with Remus? You should really try talking to him before you decide you hate him, okay?" Sirius said soothingly, putting an arm around him.
Harry nodded, and then took a very deep breath, and let it out slowly. "You going to be okay?"
Again Harry nodded. "Do you want me to go get him now?"
No nod this time, but a shrug. Harry didn't want Sirius to think the matter was urgent, but he really did want to talk to Remus as soon as possible.
"I'll go get him then, Harry," Sirius said. He was about to get up, but then looked at Harry once more. He was looking positively miserable at that moment. "It's okay Harry, cheer up."
"I can't," Harry replied sorrowfully, before breaking down into tears.
Sirius pulled Harry into a tight embrace and tried to soothe him, "Shhh.It's okay Harry, it's going to be okay. Don't worry about it okay?"
Harry nodded, but he was still shaking with sobs, so Sirius hugged him for a while longer. Once he had calmed down a bit, Sirius got up, "I'll go get Moony, okay?" Harry nodded wiping his eyes dry. I'll make sure it's a few minutes so your eyes can de-puff a little."
Harry smiled meekly, and watched as Sirius walked out the door.
"Okay," he thought, "I'm about to find out the real reason I was forced to live with the Dursley's. I hope he has a good reason, I really like Lupin, and would prefer if I could keep it that way.
After leaving Harry's room Sirius ran downstairs to the kitchen to see Remus pouring spaghetti into a pot. "Moony, you were right. Harry's very upset with you."
"How upset Padfoot?" Remus asked turning towards his friend with a sigh.
"Well, first he just looked ripped, but I think he's more hurt than angry that you never took him in before. I guess he thinks you don't really care about him. I'm kind of curious too though, why didn't you take him in after James and Lily died?"
"I don't know Padfoot, I really don't know. I guess it was a lot of things. Everyone around me died, including my entire family, I guess I wasn't ready to start another bond with someone. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, because of what happened with you, and I didn't want to risk losing yet another person I cared about. I just couldn't do it Padfoot!" Remus was now as close to tears as Harry had just been. Yet he was better at holding it in.
"I'm so sorry Moony! It's my fault really, if I hadn't gone after Peter, you still would have had someone to turn to," Sirius replied dejectedly. Sirius's biggest regret in life wasn't switching secret keepers, it was deciding to go after Wormtail. He regretted both, but going after the rat caused more problems than the secret keeper switch had.
"It's not your fault at all Padfoot," Remus responded, "It was my choice not to take in Harry, and I'm going to have to deal with it." Sirius nodded grimly.
"What if he stays mad at me though Padfoot? I know I should have helped him out, but I didn't and there's nothing I can do about it now!"
"Just go try Moony, he's waiting up in my room to talk to you, just give it a try, and if he's still mad you'll just have to try again. Now I'll finish this spaghetti shall I?"
Remus nodded, and then headed up the stairs.
Ten minutes later, Sirius looked up from the sauce he was stirring to see Remus sitting at the foot of the stairs, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs. He put down the spoon and walked over to his friend. Remus looked up when he Sirius stood in front of him. He just shook his head.
Sirius knelt down and wrapped his arms around his friend, "It'll be okay Moony, you'll see. I promise, Harry will forgive you, don't worry."
Remus pulled away and looked at his best friend through teary eyes, he shook his head and choked out, "I don't think he will Padfoot, I really don't."
He sobbed harder then, and Sirius again pulled him into a tighter hug. "So much for the garlic bread," Remus thought bitterly.
Did you like it? Please tell me by reviewing, long reviews are preferable. I like the nice ones I'm getting, but you're not helping me improve tell me what's good and what's bad cuz I really need to know! Next Chapter will hopefully be out by next Sunday! By the way, I will show what happened between Harry and Remus, if you care to know, I just thought this chapter had gotten a bit to long, and that just would have put this into the 20 page range which I just didn't want to do!
Enjoy the story (
"What did you just say?" Sirius asked, whipping away from the closet. There was a glint in his eye that terrified Harry.
Harry looked up fearfully, and spoke with his voice quivering, both from cold and fear, "I don't know, I thought I just saw Pettigrew in the corner. Don't worry, I probably just imagined it."
Sirius and Remus both looked at Harry suspiciously. "Are you sure Harry?" Remus asked. "Do you really think it was just your imagination?"
Harry glanced at Sirius who still had that frightening glint in his eye. It reminded Harry of the Sirius he had first met in the Shrieking Shack during his third year. That Sirius had been halfway to crazy, and Harry hoped to never see him like that again.
"Yeah, it was just my imagination. Probably just shadows or something," Harry lied. He was positive that he had seen a rat in the corner of the room, and just as sure that it was none other than Peter Pettigrew in his animagus form.
Sirius seemed satisfied with this answer as he lost the glint in his eyes and turned back to the closet. Remus resumed stroking Harry's head, trying to calm him down, although he still glanced suspiciously at Harry every now and then.
Sirius finally found some pajamas that would (almost) fit Harry. He strode over to the bed, and put them on Harry's shivering body.
Remus stood up and said, "I'm going to go make some breakfast. You two stay here, I'll bring it up."
Sirius turned to Harry and said, "Are you up for a game of chess Harry?"
"Sure," Harry replied. Sirius ran to get a board and pieces and Harry tried to pull himself up into more of a sitting position. He still glanced at the corner occasionally, but eventually convinced himself that he really had just imagined seeing the rat. Sirius and Harry played one game of chess before Remus came back with breakfast. Harry won by a landslide (A/N: I really know nothing about chess, so I'm not going to go into detail here at all (), and then played against Remus. Remus kicked Harry's butt ten times harder than Harry had just kicked Sirius's. They played tournament style for the next few hours until an owl came through Sirius's bedroom window.
The letter was from Professor Dumbledore, and the two men paled when they read it. After they finished, they glanced apprehensively at Harry.
"What's wrong Sirius.Remus?" Harry asked tentatively.
Sirius walked over to Harry's bed and put an arm around him. Remus also walked over and sat by Harry's feet.
"Harry," Sirius began. "There was an attack on your old house this morning. All of the Dursley's have been killed." That's all Sirius would reveal, waiting for a reaction from Harry. Whatever reaction he had been expecting, he didn't get. Harry just shrugged, and started picking up chess pieces from his bed.
"Harry, the last of your relatives are dead, you don't care at all?" Sirius asked incredulously.
"What do you want me to feel?" Harry nearly yelled. "They beat me up, they never loved me! I hated them! I'm not happy that they're dead, but I'm certainly not sad about it! If anyone deserved a good death eater attack it was them!"
Remus and Sirius stared open mouthed at Harry, Remus recovered from shock first, and said, "Surely you don't mean that Harry. I know they hurt you, and you didn't like them, but how can you not care that they're dead?"
"I'm sorry, but I really don't care!" Harry yelled. He was pretty angry now. "I'm just relieved. I'm relieved that I never have to see them again! I'm relieved that you got me out of there before I was attacked too! But I really don't care that they're gone! I just don't." Harry added the last bit quietly.
Again, the men just looked at him shocked. Harry felt slightly embarrassed about his outburst, and looked again at the lump his feet made under the blankets. Again, he willed his feet to move, but alas nothing happened.
"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled, still trying to make those feet move.
"Harry you don't need to be sorry for your feelings. We're just surprised that's all. To tell you the truth, they're lucky they died, this way they escaped the wrath of Sirius. I assure you it would have been a much worse fate." Remus told Harry soothingly. Harry was a very strange boy. He opened up, and then immediately shut back up like a clam. "We need to get Harry to be more open more often, without the closing up part," Remus thought to himself.
"So Harry, I take it you don't want to go to the funeral?" Sirius inquired tentatively, not wanting to make his godson yell again.
Harry shook his head surely. Then said, "Can we just play some more chess?"
"Sure Harry, for a little while, but Dumbledore also said that he's be coming over later today, so we can't play for too much longer, okay bud?" Sirius replied.
Harry nodded and they began to play again.
Professor Dumbledore arrived around 3:00 in the afternoon. He had important business with Remus and Sirius, but thought it was important to first visit with Harry. Thus his first stop was visiting Harry where he lay like an invalid in Sirius's bed.
"How are you feeling Harry?" he asked when he reached the young boy who had been through so much. Dumbledore always kept this to himself, but he felt very much to blame for the young boys problems.
Harry looked him squarely in the face, without a trace of a smile, and replied stiffly, "I'm fine, thank you."
"Perhaps he blames me for his problems, too," Dumbledore thought grimly.
"Well, Harry..I'm terribly sorry about this whole ordeal. If I'd have known you were being treated that poorly at your aunt and uncles home, I would have found better quarters for you."
"Well it's too late now, isn't it Professor?" Harry replied venomously. "It's too late to take back the damage, right? But at least I still managed to save the wizarding world, so my suffering isn't important. Isn't that right?"
Dumbledore looked down at Harry thoroughly shocked by this outburst. "I truly am sorry, Harry." he began calmly, attempting to soothe the boy. "It is important that you saved the wizarding world, yes, but your happiness is just as important as that! No I'm terribly sorry for all that I have put you through, but you're right. What's done is done and there is nothing I can do about it except apologize. Will you take my apology Mr. Potter?"
Harry watched his professor for a few minutes, considering what he had just said, he was satisfied, but wanted to see if he could get anymore out of him.
Harry's silence did in fact, persuade Dumbledore to carry on, "Harry, there's nothing I can do about the past, but the future I can help you with. I'm already in the works to put up wards around this house so you can safely stay here. You will for as long as you like have a home where there are people who love you. That's the best I can do for you my dear boy, and I swear to you I will keep my word on that." Dumbledore didn't know why he wanted Harry's trust back so much, but that was all that mattered to him at that moment.
Again, Harry just stared at his Headmaster for a moment, this time do to awe at the power of his words. Just the way he spoke about the future, made Harry certain that everything would come around for the best. Harry nodded and said, "Okay, Headmaster. I'm really sorry." Harry again turned a little sheepish at his outburst.
"No need to be sorry my boy. It's good to get your feelings out once in a while. I just hope I'm not on the receiving end of that one again anytime soon. Now is there anything new with you Harry?"
"Nothing you don't already know, Professor. We just played chess all day," Harry replied, although the thought of seeing Wormtail in the corner had again flashed into his memory, he didn't want the headmaster to think he had gone insane when he became an invalid.
"Well that's good to hear Harry, now if you don't mind I'm going to need to steal Sirius and Remus from you," Dumbledore replied. Harry just nodded, and leaned back in to his pillows. Remus looked at him with worried eyes. Sirius walked over to him, pulled his blanket up to his chin, and then ruffled Harry's hair.
"Just call if you need anything, okay?" he said lovingly. Harry smiled at the tone of Sirius's voice and nodded his head. He watched as the men exited Sirius's room, and then he sighed.
Seeing as Harry couldn't move, he ended up just laying in bed thinking. "I guess I can't really blame Dumbledore for sending me to live with the Dursley's. I mean, he couldn't take care of me, he was far too busy. And I really had no one else before I came to Hogwarts. As far as I know, all of my parents friends were dead or in Azkaban, poor Sirius. But.what about Remus? He wasn't hurt or in prison! He could have taken me in and he didn't. And now he decides to play hero and be my best friend! I don't think so!" Harry was fuming in the bed now, how could he have never thought of this before? While the men were talking, Harry sat growing more and more angry with Remus by the minute. He kept replaying all the kind things Remus had don't for him, and now thought that they meant nothing.
Meanwhile, the men were in Remus's kitchen, as far from Harry as they could get, so that he couldn't overhear.
"I'm really worried about him," Remus said cynically. "He's getting angry a lot, I'm afraid that that temper of his is soon going to overflow. It seems like he's looking for someone to blame for all that's happened to him. I have a feeling I'm going to be next."
Sirius nodded in agreement, "I can't believe he blew up at you of all people Dumbledore! He's really got some pent up anger in there. I'm glad he's getting it out though. Remember what happened when James held his anger too long?"
"Of course I do, Padfoot, I was on the receiving end of that. How was I supposed to know he liked Lily, if he had told me maybe I wouldn't have gone out with her in the first place. But yeah, I thought he was going to kill me after that ball when I cut into his dance with her."
"Yeah well consider yourself lucky. I had to listen to him rant and rave every night after he saw you two kissing or cuddling in the common room. Yeah, he was some angry with you, but he remained loyal. He still saved Snape from you, and you know as well as I do he didn't do it for Snape. He did that for you."
Remus nodded, "I just hope Harry will stay loyal too."
"Yes, yes," Dumbledore said trying to wrap up that conversation. "I can't stay that long, and we need to talk about the boy's well being." He watched the men making sure he got their full attention back. "Voldemort is still a great threat to him, and I'm sure Mr. Pettigrew is out there still, skulking around him. It is obvious that they're after Harry, as his house was just attacked. We're quite lucky you two got him out in time. Now, I have a plan for wards around this house. I'm going to have to make them stronger than they were at the Dursley's because that obviously didn't work. Listen closely, because I only want to tell you all of this once, are you ready?"
"Yes sir," they both replied, listening raptly.
"Okay, first there will be no apparating or disapparating around this house for a radius of 5 miles. I know this will make things a little difficult for travel, but I think it's a necessary precaution. Second, your floo entrance will be voice activated. Anyone other than you two and Harry will not be admitted. This does not mean you won't be able to have visitors. It shall work rather like a muggle answering service. Somebody who wants to enter simply must say the name of your home, and then they'll be asked to tell who they are. It is your job to judge who may and may not come in. Do you understand so far?"
Both Sirius and Remus nodded.
"Also, around the circumference of this house is a dark mark repeller. Anyone with the dark mark anywhere on his or her body can't just walk through. However, if you let them through the fire place nothing will happen to them. So I repeat, use caution with whom you let in. When possible, go to someone, rather than having them come to you. That's the important business, I also have some high tech wards that I don't want to confuse you with. They're basically there so the others don't get shutdown. Now, I must be off. I'll be in contact with you soon, and I believe Madam Pomfrey will be over to check on Harry in a few days. And I ask you, to try to get the boy to open up. Even if it hurts you, just listen and try to be understanding of him. He really needs it."
"Will do, Dumbledore," Sirius replied. "Goodbye."
"Bye," Remus added.
"Farewell," Dumbledore said before walking to the fireplace and flooing out.
"I'm going to go check on Harry, Moony. I'll be back down in a few."
"Okay Sirius, I think I'm going to start on dinner. Spaghetti sound okay to you?"
"Yeah, sounds great..with garlic bread?"
Remus laughed and then replied, "But of course."
Sirius left the room and climbed the stairs, he peered in before entering and was shocked at what he saw. Harry was laying in bed propped up on pillows. The only way to describe his expression was "Pissed." His arms were crossed defiantly over his chest, and his fists and teeth were clenched. His face was a deep red, and his green eyes had gone from a bright emerald, to a deep forest green. Harry was slowly shaking his head, and his hair was ten times more messy than usual.
Sirius stepped in the room to see what was wrong and said, "Harry, what's up? You look kind of upset."
Harry looked up startled, with a glare in his eyes. Realizing it was Sirius he softened his expression a bit, but he still looked really angry. "It's nothing Sirius. I don't feel like talking."
"Are you sick or something Harry?"
"No, I'm fine. I just want to be left alone," Harry replied, annoyance evident in his voice.
"Okay Harry, calm down. I'll leave you alone if that what you want. Do you want me to get you something to do? A book or something maybe?"
Harry just shook his head and glared at his feet.
"Okay, well Sirius is making spaghetti for dinner. Garlic bread too! We'll eat up here with you okay?"
"NO!" Harry bellowed immediately. "I don't want to eat with HIM!"
Sirius looked startled for a moment, but soon realized what was going on. He walked over and sat on the edge of Harry's bed and put a hand on his shoulder.
"So I guess you're angry with Remus, huh?" Sirius replied, looking Harry square in the face.
Harry nodded.
"May I ask why?" Sirius asked, although he was quite sure what the answer was.
"I really don't want to talk about it Sirius." Harry replied looking at his feet.
"Well I do."
Harry just looked defiantly at Sirius. Sirius stared back with the same look in his eyes.
"Come on Harry, I'm not going to get mad or anything. Talk to me!"
Harry stared back a few moments longer and then sighed in resignation. "It's his fault I was stuck at the Dursley's all that time. He could have taken me in after my parent died, but he didn't, he just left me to suffer with them, and wouldn't have even checked up on me if he hadn't taught me during third year. He doesn't care about me at all! I don't want to be around him!" Harry got rather winded as he was saying this and shut up like a clam when he was done. He no longer looked angry, but looked rather like he was going to cry. He wasn't just mad that Remus hadn't taken him in, he was hurt.
"Remus was right," Sirius thought. "Harry is one of those people who just shouldn't be left alone with his thoughts. He gets far too carried away with them."
"Harry, you can't blame Remus. Can you imagine what he was going through after that? Can you? All of his friends, with the exception of me, were supposedly dead, and I was in jail. He thought I had done it! Unless I'm much mistake, Remus was too afraid to let anyone else get near him, afraid they'd be torn away like everyone else in his life. He didn't want to risk losing you too. He probably thought you were in danger being around him. Not to mention what happens to him once a month! Please don't stay mad at Moony, Harry. I KNOW he was just trying to do what he thought was right."
"I can't help but be mad Sirius. I spent fifteen miserable years with the Dursley's, and what was he doing?" Harry said, his voice cracking from trying to hold back tears. He really didn't want Sirius to know how upset he was about Remus not taking him in.
"Calm down Harry, have you even brought this up with Remus? You should really try talking to him before you decide you hate him, okay?" Sirius said soothingly, putting an arm around him.
Harry nodded, and then took a very deep breath, and let it out slowly. "You going to be okay?"
Again Harry nodded. "Do you want me to go get him now?"
No nod this time, but a shrug. Harry didn't want Sirius to think the matter was urgent, but he really did want to talk to Remus as soon as possible.
"I'll go get him then, Harry," Sirius said. He was about to get up, but then looked at Harry once more. He was looking positively miserable at that moment. "It's okay Harry, cheer up."
"I can't," Harry replied sorrowfully, before breaking down into tears.
Sirius pulled Harry into a tight embrace and tried to soothe him, "Shhh.It's okay Harry, it's going to be okay. Don't worry about it okay?"
Harry nodded, but he was still shaking with sobs, so Sirius hugged him for a while longer. Once he had calmed down a bit, Sirius got up, "I'll go get Moony, okay?" Harry nodded wiping his eyes dry. I'll make sure it's a few minutes so your eyes can de-puff a little."
Harry smiled meekly, and watched as Sirius walked out the door.
"Okay," he thought, "I'm about to find out the real reason I was forced to live with the Dursley's. I hope he has a good reason, I really like Lupin, and would prefer if I could keep it that way.
After leaving Harry's room Sirius ran downstairs to the kitchen to see Remus pouring spaghetti into a pot. "Moony, you were right. Harry's very upset with you."
"How upset Padfoot?" Remus asked turning towards his friend with a sigh.
"Well, first he just looked ripped, but I think he's more hurt than angry that you never took him in before. I guess he thinks you don't really care about him. I'm kind of curious too though, why didn't you take him in after James and Lily died?"
"I don't know Padfoot, I really don't know. I guess it was a lot of things. Everyone around me died, including my entire family, I guess I wasn't ready to start another bond with someone. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, because of what happened with you, and I didn't want to risk losing yet another person I cared about. I just couldn't do it Padfoot!" Remus was now as close to tears as Harry had just been. Yet he was better at holding it in.
"I'm so sorry Moony! It's my fault really, if I hadn't gone after Peter, you still would have had someone to turn to," Sirius replied dejectedly. Sirius's biggest regret in life wasn't switching secret keepers, it was deciding to go after Wormtail. He regretted both, but going after the rat caused more problems than the secret keeper switch had.
"It's not your fault at all Padfoot," Remus responded, "It was my choice not to take in Harry, and I'm going to have to deal with it." Sirius nodded grimly.
"What if he stays mad at me though Padfoot? I know I should have helped him out, but I didn't and there's nothing I can do about it now!"
"Just go try Moony, he's waiting up in my room to talk to you, just give it a try, and if he's still mad you'll just have to try again. Now I'll finish this spaghetti shall I?"
Remus nodded, and then headed up the stairs.
Ten minutes later, Sirius looked up from the sauce he was stirring to see Remus sitting at the foot of the stairs, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs. He put down the spoon and walked over to his friend. Remus looked up when he Sirius stood in front of him. He just shook his head.
Sirius knelt down and wrapped his arms around his friend, "It'll be okay Moony, you'll see. I promise, Harry will forgive you, don't worry."
Remus pulled away and looked at his best friend through teary eyes, he shook his head and choked out, "I don't think he will Padfoot, I really don't."
He sobbed harder then, and Sirius again pulled him into a tighter hug. "So much for the garlic bread," Remus thought bitterly.
Did you like it? Please tell me by reviewing, long reviews are preferable. I like the nice ones I'm getting, but you're not helping me improve tell me what's good and what's bad cuz I really need to know! Next Chapter will hopefully be out by next Sunday! By the way, I will show what happened between Harry and Remus, if you care to know, I just thought this chapter had gotten a bit to long, and that just would have put this into the 20 page range which I just didn't want to do!