Never in my life had I encountered such staggering pain. In my short life back here, I'd come across much, but never this bad. It felt as if my insides were burning up. I only remembered trying to run to Sango, then dropping to the ground in sudden, heady exhaustion, feeling a hunger like none other. My stomach was twisting itself to pieces and my throat was a desert.
I just felt so...THIRSTY.
What blood was left in my body roared in my ears as my heart pounded nearly against my ribcage; my breathing haggard. It HURT!
As if it helped, I tried to press as close together as I could. My eyes squeezed shut, but I felt a wave of dizziness that made me nauseous. Was I DYING??
Then it all stopped when I heard something slice through flesh...giving off that reek of blood.
Precious blood.
Something inside me snapped, throwing my mind into chaos. This new need took over my body, as if I were possessed. Slowly, I stood on legs of total power. Whatever happened during this battle just snapped these new powers into overdrive. And I had no control over them. "Hun...ger... Hungry... Chi." I heard myself say.
The need to feed was staggering.
I took in the scene as if through a distance. My eyes lit on the snake's body and the sword through its tail. The more it writhed, the more blood squirted out from the wound.
The fangs poked my lip as I smiled.
Without thinking, I took off on a mission, easily dodging the snake's attacks and movements as if it were in slow motion. In seconds, I was at its side. Not giving it time to move or attack again, I sprang to the air and slammed my hands into its body, holding on to its skin.
Feeling blood cover my fingers.
That sent me into a frenzy. My mouth opened wide with a small hiss and I plunged my teeth into its skin, feeling warmth against my mouth and blood gush inside.
Like finding an oasis in a desert, I drank heavily.
My eyes closed in bliss. The hunger and thirst that gnawed at me and my stomach quickly dissipated as I took deep gulps, ignoring the snake's thrashing. Its cries irritated my ears and my nails dug farther into its skin as if to silence it. That only resulted in more cries.
"Kagome! Kagome YAMERU!"
My eyes snapped open. Who DARED tell me to stop?! My face remained impassive and I scanned the area as the snake turned around. I pinned Inuyasha's concerned voice as he tried to get closer. My eyes closed and disregarded his anxiety for me.
If anyone stepped in right now, they'd regret it.
"Kagome-chan! Onegai!" Sango pleaded. "Watashitachi o kiku!"
Their cries fell upon deaf ears. This was what I needed to appease the hunger in myself. It was like I hadn't eaten in days. Apparently I used up too much energy and not drinking enough of Kelah's blood was only a catalyst for the pain. The longer I was awake, the more this hunger grew.
Demanding to be sated.
"Kagome...yameru!" The growl in Inuyasha's voice told me he wasn't happy. And the sound of metal going through flesh again told me he freed the snake.
My eyes narrowed, as my mouth let go of the snake as it thrashed around freely. One wild buck threw me from its back and I flew into the air. The throw wasn't far enough and instead of falling, I found myself hovering.
I stared down at my meal as it charged at me for the pain I caused. With an evil smirk, not taking time to be amazed at defying gravity, I flew to it without thought and dodged its acid spit with ease. I circled around to the back of its head and speared my hands through its skin. It threw me off again and I landed next to Inuyasha.
"Sango! IMA!" In a second, strong arms wrapped around my torso and arms, keeping me pinned. Instinctively, I struggled against the grip, finding it hard, even with my strength, and feebly watched as Sango's weapon easily sliced the snake into pieces.
I gave a cry of anger. My meal! Gone! "Hanaso!" I darkly ordered, kicking my legs.
"Kagome! Yameru!!" He grit out. I wasn't making holding me easy, and I wasn't GOING to!
"Hanaso! Hanaso!!" I nearly shrieked, clenching my fists.
"Kagome-sama...calm down! It's us!" Miroku beseeched.
My head jerked to his voice, finding him only a few paces away. Sango was walking to us as well, Shippo perched on her shoulder. All three pairs of eyes looked at me in fear and confusion.
"I'm not letting go until you calm down." The hanyou lowly barked. His breath warmed my ear, but I could smell the apprehension and fright in his blood. His heart was pounding...
His blood?
In a second, I went slack and tried to catch my breath. Inuyasha hesitated for a minute before letting me go. I quickly twirled and faced him. "Chi." I murmured. Instantly, my hands dove to clutch anything and get a hold. "Anta no chi ataeru!"
"Kagome-chan?!"
"Minna...stop her!" He cried, grabbing my wrists.
"No...NO! CHI!" I growled, struggling with his grip.
"I don't want to hurt you Kagome. STOP this!" He quietly pleaded.
"Chi..." I ignored the soft look in his eyes, feeling like a cat after a mouse, and pushed my mouth to his neck. He jerked back, startled, and lost his balance. With a shocked cry, he went down and I took that as my chance.
I straddled his body to pin him, grasped his chin to expose his neck, and sunk my teeth into his throat.
The others cried out my name in shock, but I ignored it and took a deep draught of sweet power. Underneath me, a gurgled cry sounded as hands tried to pull me back.
"Onegai matte!"
"Kagome yameru!"
"Please don't hurt Inuyasha!!" Shippo cried.
My eyes shot open as a memory speared through my consciousness. I stared into darkness, frozen in place as a part of my mind recoiled a memory of this same night.
"I won't do anything to hurt any of you..."
That single, tender memory of my conversation with Sango shook this need to feed and kill. My body started to shake in fear as it returned its hold to my real self. I slowly pulled my mouth from flesh and looked to the hanyou I loved with wide, horrified eyes. Gold was clouded with pain and worry, and stared back at me.
"Inu...yasha...atashii...ATASHII..."
My mouth wouldn't work. I felt utterly disgusted with myself and ashamed beyond belief. I quickly scrambled off him and looked to the others slowly edging their way closer. "Minna...atashii...atashii!..."
I didn't know what to say to apologize for the horrific way I acted. I would NEVER forgive myself for attacking Inuyasha, for giving in to this evil side I now was. I could've KILLED him!
"Iya! Stay back! I don't know what I'll do to you all!"
"Kagome-chan...daijoubu." Sango soothed, giving me a smile. I smelled fear from her and my heart clenched in pain.
I successfully made them afraid of me.
Tears stung my eyes. This was too much. I didn't deserve to be near them anymore, lest this hunger turn me insane again and I attack one of them. "IYA! I'll hurt you all! I already have. Stay AWAY from me!" Without knowing what I was doing, I jumped over Miroku and Sango, making a break for the forest as cover. Tears streaked my face and I ran with all my might, trying to outrun what I have become.
'I'll NEVER forgive myself! I can't face any of them again! What will I do to them?? Gods Inuyasha...gomen nasai! Sumimasen. I'm so, so sorry! I hurt you and I said I wouldn't hurt ANY of you! What've I become??'
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I staggered to my feet, a hand going to my neck to halt the flow of blood. I pressed against the wound, wincing a little. Her teeth dug deep, but I'd live. I'd taken worse BEFORE.
The others rushed to me and tried to help me up, but I harshly shrugged them off and glared. "How could you let her run away??" I demanded.
"How did WE know she'd run?? We couldn't catch her even if we TRIED." Miroku shot back.
"Hai, hai. But what do we do now?" Shippo asked.
"I'm going to find her. Who knows what she'll do to herself like this?" I wasn't going to take that chance or I'd never forgive myself. If I had to protect her from herself, so be it.
Even if it meant getting bit again.
"We'll go with you." Miroku added, gripping his staff.
"Iie. I'm the only one who can find her as quickly. And none of you are strong enough to fend her off. Go back to Kaede's hut and wait for us."
"DEMO-"
"IMA!" I shouted, taking off in a run. I didn't wait to see if they obeyed me or not. My focus was on finding Kagome before something happened to her.
Or she MADE something happen to her.
I ran full out, sniffing for her smell. I found my blood along with hers and followed that, along with the others mixed with hers. I didn't know what to do when I found her, but all I knew was I had to keep her SAFE. Mostly from herself.
As I ran, sobbing met my ears, even through my feet pounding on the ground. My heart clenched. I couldn't help but feel bad. Knowing what made her snap wasn't her fault!
I suddenly wondered if her brief insanity was like dealing with me when I was full Youkai.
I pondered that as I neared her position. I lost my mind and wanted nothing but death and blood, though I didn't feed on it. I just wanted destruction. Perhaps the rolls were switched this time.
We were both monsters now.
Unconsciously, I gripped Tetsusaiga as I slowed to a walk and almost crept through the trees. Next to a tall drop off sat a pitiful wretch of a girl, huddled against herself, loudly sobbing against everything that befell her.
I couldn't help but feel pity and sorrow. I harshly swallowed and looked to the ground. What could I SAY to her to make her feel better and reassure her that we weren't afraid of her?
"Inu...yasha... I know you're...out there..." She brokenly muttered.
I looked up and found her eyes on mine, shining that gold hue with the moon. With tears down her even paler face, they looked pitiable and no longer creepy. I commanded my feet to move as she sniffed and looked away, going back to that tight ball. Sobs still wracked her body, though they were quieter now.
As if she was trying not to cry in my presence.
"Kagome..." I tentatively started, a hand extended to touch her.
"Iya!" She suddenly called. In a flash, she stood and backed to the cliff. "Don't come near me...onegai! I'll hurt you again! I can't help myself like this..." Arms wrapped around her torso as she sunk to her knees. "I'll hurt you a second time...possibly even kill you."
I stopped and stared down at her shaken form. She looked wretched and I had this overwhelming urge to comfort her. I had never seen such a once happy-go-lucky, positive girl so down before. This was a totally new side I was dealing with, but I felt the need to deal with it as I never had.
Emotionally.
"Kagome... I'm alright. It takes more than that to keep me down. You didn't hurt me much, if at all." I gave a small, cocky grin. "My own family has done more damage than you. Shinpai suranai."
Her eyes squeezed shut and her head savagely shook, denying my reassurance. I knew she wouldn't forgive herself, thinking I wouldn't either. Forgiveness was the last thing I was worried with. I wasn't even mad at her...more mad at her situation.
I sighed and took a few steps closer, nearly able to touch her. She stood and backed to the edge of the cliff, but didn't demand I stop any more. Some part of her knew she couldn't fight me off, even as strong as she was. And I'm sure that part didn't WANT her to.
"Kagome...don't fight me. I won't let anything happen to you. I couldn't stop THIS from occurring, and it kills me to see you this way. I don't know what to do to help you, but you have to believe that none of us are afraid of you. Not even after that display of madness. I know that wasn't you deep down."
I stopped and stared at her downcast head. The tears stopped, as had her shaking, but those arms remained wrapped around herself as if she were still afraid of touching me. A claw moved on its own and gently moved her chin up so I could meet her eyes. They flashed in the light, but I didn't let it bother me. The raw emotions I saw there helped me see past it.
"I know you won't believe anything I say, because you must hate yourself for what you've become. There's something now between us that you don't realize. The way I saw you act was how you must've seen ME act when I was full Youkai." Her eyes sparked surprise, but also recognition before she gave a tiny nod. "Yet you didn't fear me any of those times. You helped me. Let me repay you for all that kindness. Trust me."
Tears crinkled in her eyes and made new tracks down her skin. I didn't know if what I said helped or made it worse, but I knew I couldn't stand seeing her cry. I never had, even when we just knew each other as friends. "Kagome, nakani..." I softly ordered. Almost on their own, my arms slowly wrapped around her frame and tightly held her.
My heart thudded in my ears at hugging her again after what seemed so long. But warm emotions cascaded me and I felt at peace right now.
Also momentarily surprised when her arms wrapped around my waist, holding me just as tight.
I could smell her tears, but there was nothing I could do to stop them. All I knew now was she had to get through this, and if she had to cry, then I would have to let her.
"I...DO trust you Inuyasha... Wholeheartedly." She shakily whispered, her voice muffled in my haori. "I know you'll protect me...as you always have tried to do. I'm so, so, SO sorry for what I did to you. I wasn't myself and I know what came over me, but I couldn't help it. I just don't know what to do now." Her head helplessly shook. "Who will I hurt NEXT? If I go home, I'm liable to go after my family!"
I pulled back and grabbed her chin, pulling her face to mine. "You won't let that happen. Whatever human side is left in you won't let that happen. Believe in your inner strength and you'll be able to pull through this. Whatever happened to you...I promise you, you won't go through alone. Sango, and Miroku, and Shippo, and Kaede...are all here with you."
Her mouth opened a little, but stopped. Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. "Is...that all?" She whispered, brown searching mine. Gold lit her eyes as the moon caught it. Hope bloomed there.
I harshly swallowed, feeling my heart thud against my chest. I wanted her to trust me; that meant had to be truthful with her. But I was afraid, and I knew it. Still...she hadn't rejected me since our first meeting and was always honest with HER feelings. "No... I swear...I'll help you find a cure. I won't let you go through this on your own..."
The smile on her face made my hesitation feel stupid, and my honesty worth it. "Arigatou gozaimasu Inuyasha." She whispered, tightly hugging me again.
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It seemed forever until the two returned. When they did, Inuyasha murmured that he was going back to the forest for a bit and Kagome silently went to the hut she was staying in.
Not making eye contact with any of us.
It hurt a bit to see that she didn't know us enough to see we weren't afraid. In fact, the second Shippo said he smelled the two at the edge of the village, the four of us ran from Kaede's hut to spot them.
"What do you think we should do now?" Sango quietly asked.
I sighed and looked to the fire in the center of the small enclosure. There were so many questions on my mind, almost all I had no answers to. If anyone could explain things to us ALL, it was the person who changed Kagome, or Kagome herself.
I thoughtfully 'hmmed' and closed my eyes. What I wouldn't give to have some quiet and meditate on this right now. My sight strayed to an open, barred window and stared at the night. But that was not allowed right now. Perhaps when things cooled down in the daytime...perhaps.
"I want to go make sure Kagome is okay. Demo..." Shippo became quiet as a tiny paw rubbed against his arm. "Inuyasha's gone. What happens if we do something to set off another reaction?"
"A good point Shippo." I quietly answered, giving a nod. "If we do anything, we need to be sure to watch when something happens to us. Kagome-sama's mood didn't change until Tetsusaiga cut the snake open."
"So be sure to watch if you cut yourself..." Sango mused, mostly to herself. I eyed her thoughtful pose, finding her eyes downcast. At length, she broke the silence and looked to us. "So, what do we know so far about her powers?"
"Her hearing, sight, smell, speed, and strength is nearly even with Inuyasha, if not surpassed. And she can fly." I reported. "She has an incredible weakness to sunlight, and apparently needs to live off blood."
"Kyuketsuki...ka? I wish we knew if they existed in this time. Then we could find them."
"But some could be Youkai and we'd never know it." Shippo pointed out.
"Good point Shippo." I murmured, storing all this information. We'd most likely need it and hopefully I could figure out a few things that I couldn't in the future. "There are so many different Youkai out there...and there could be some in other lands as well."
"After hundreds of years, who knows how far they could spread? Or even dwindle down. Maybe the kyuketsuki who changed Kagome-chan is one of the few out there."
"The question is why HER, and why did he do it in the first place." I darkly asked, my arms going in the folds of my sleeves.
"That's only something Kagome-chan can answer."
I sighed and stared out at the night again. On impulse, I stood and grabbed my shajukou. I left without saying goodbye or goodnight to either and stepped into the cool night air. I took a deep breath and hoped to clear my head.
When I looked around, I found a lump on the top of Kagome's hut.
Blinking, I curiously went over and stopped within seeing distance. "Kagome-sama?" I queried, squinting in the dark.
A movement caught the moon and those eyes shone. I blinked, than mentally shook myself. She reminded me of a fukuro...an evil fukuro. I took a few more steps to the hut and looked way up.
"Hai Miroku-sama?" She quietly responded.
I gave a disarming, charming smile. Ones I reserved for Sango right before I groped her. "Daijoubu ka? What are you doing up there?"
"Nan demo nai. Just...staring and thinking of things."
"Would you like some company?" How I would get up there I had no clue, but I WOULD like to keep her some company. She looked like a small child the way she was huddled up.
In the dark, I could make out a bit of a smile on her face. "Hai... Up here?"
"I'll try. I can't jump very high, but I think I can pull myself up." I gripped the staff and looked to the roof, trying to find a good place to grab hold.
A quiet chuckle sounded. "Iya... Let me help." Slowly, she unwound her arms from her legs and floated into the air and around the roof. She hovered a few feet from me and gave me a small, gentle smile. "Ready?"
I stupidly nodded through my shocked appearance and she flew behind me, gradually slipping her hands in between my arms. She lightly clutched the fabric and easily lifted us both off the ground.
Before I knew it, I was standing on the roof and dumbly watched Kagome sit back down. Cradling my shajukou, I followed her example and looked into the night. "It's pretty out here."
"Hai. I know I should probably get some sleep, but I just can't. Chalk it up to being a kyuketsuki..." She bitterly whispered, arms going back around her legs.
"Kagome-sama... Don't be so rough with yourself. This isn't your fault. Whatever happened to you on that battlefield wasn't something you could control. If you had, I know you wouldn't let anything happen to us. Just as we won't let anything happen to you. We're your friends. Don't hesitate to come to us with this. We're not afraid of you like you think we are."
She looked away, but managed a nod. Another small smile lit her face. "Arigatou gozaimasu Miroku-sama. I know you're all there for me, but..." She sighed and her head almost helplessly shook. "I can't help but feel worried about what'll happen and I go off again. If something sets another spell-"
"We'll be careful about that Kagome-sama." I quietly reassured. "Daijoubu. Shinpai suranai."
"I can't help BUT." She retorted back, immediately sighing. "Gomen. I'm feeling so many conflicting emotions from my human side and the voice that tells me to satisfy my hunger."
"You'll have to fill us all in on how much you know of vampires. We need as much information as we can. We were wondering if there weren't some around NOW, but confused as Youkai."
"I know...I heard you." She sheepishly answered, looking away.
I blinked and felt a little embarrassed. How much had she heard us talk about? Nothing to do but get past it I guess...
But Kagome had it worse than any of us. She had to deal with the knowledge that she had these incredible powers and could turn on us again. The longer she was like this, the more it was possible. 'Kagome-sama kawaioso...'