Another one down! You'll be happy to know that I'm back to enjoying
writing this story again, but I do have a huge tendency to become
embarrassed about this addiction I have. My friends talk to me on AOL, as
I write, and I wonder what they would think if they knew what I was doing,
writing this story. I know, one of my friends is obsessed with Otown, and
everyone gets on her about it all the time, exactly why I don't let them
know what I really do on here. So Review Review time!
Sirius is Sexy: You'll see about Remus, glad to know that you care!
Xo-chinadoll-ox: I'm happy you enjoy my story so much! I'm once again enjoying writing it, so I guess we're both happy!
Rhiain: Thanks for the review, Moony....you'll see what happens to Moony.
Laralynn: I'm glad I stuck with the story too, I wish I never scared you all by saying I was giving it up. Here's the next chapter for you!
Electricity of the phoenix: I'm glad you thought it was an exciting chapter! I had fun writing it, but more fun writing this one, so I hope you like it too!
Carolyn: You'll have to read to find out if Remus is gonna be okay! Thanks for reviewing!
Tiff: I'm so happy you don't think my stories too sappy, sometimes I wonder. I have been informed about the Health Care thing in Britain, I should really fix it, but never seem to get around to it. Thanks though, I hope you like the rest of the story as well!
Esperanza: Speechless!?!? That's a good thing, right?
Sushine1shell: Read to find out about Moony, and you're right, he doesn't deserve anything bad to happen, but people don't always get what they deserve, as I've already shown, more times than I probably should have. Thanks for reviewing!
Fabnikki: I know what you mean about reading non stop except for necessities, I do it way too much, especially over the summer, it was really quite ridiculous. But I'm glad you're doing it with my fic : ). I have been informed about the Health Care thing, but thank you so much anyways, I should go back and fix that. I hope you do hang on for the next chapter, and all the ones after that! And, I'm sorry I can't make my story lighter anymore. It was so much easier when they had nothing to do those summer days. But I promise to make sure I add some more light, funny scenes before the end. Don't you hate when you're reading these things and you start laughing, it's so embarrassing! "What are you laughing at?" "Oh nothing" I do try to stick in some small humorous things, but there's so much angst in the story that its often overlooked as more seriousness. Thanks for reviewing!
Moonlight: Yup, they got into Azkaban. You'll have to read to see if Remus is okay, and what has happened to him. The full extent of it all won't be out until next chapter, but you pretty much will see it all in this one. Enjoy : )
A.Dee: Yeah, FanFic.net malfunctions a lot doesn't it? Anyhow, I'm glad I decided to keep writing too. I won't tell you if Remus's alright, you'll have to read it and find out for yourself. I imagine you like it better that way anyhow!
Ella: Thanks for the review, and tell me what you think about what's happened to Moony, once you read it!
Sirius the homicidal maniac: Yes I'm back, LOL. You liked the enervate thing, huh? I always wonder why they never do that for him too though. Rather, they just let him suffer with his nightmares. It's cruel!!! *Hug back*
Tinuviel: Thank you for reading my story instead of studying, LOL. I know how you feel though, I always seem to slack off just so I can read fanfics. Something I can really do anytime. Trust me, though, this is far from the weirdest review I've ever received. It was actually quite normal. I'm glad you like the story thus far, and hope you continue to enjoy it!
Elizabeth Bathory: You'll see what I've done with Remus, I missed him too much to leave him out of the story any longer, does that give you a hint? Thanks for reviewing!
Melissa Lupin: LOL, you really don't want Remus to die, read the chapter, you shouldn't be too upset... :P
Shitsumon: Thanks for correcting my spelling. Stupid me! I was like the Daily Profit? What kind of a name is that? I guess a paper can make a profit...God, I didn't once think of the other prophet...thank you very much! And, I don't know how I let Harry have conversations with himself, but you know sometimes it just happens. I'll try to remember to go back and fix it! I'm glad you like the story despite these things, please keep reading and reviewing and telling me what I've done wrong!
Theeadia: That was a cliffie, I like writing those. You must have just joined the story, cuz I've definitely written worse ones then that. This one has a little one too. I like writing them!
KaceyRat: You want more? Well here it is! And what r u gonna do if Remus isn't okay? Thanks for reviewing!
The Nemisister Raptor: I've written worse cliffie's than that haven't I? Like when Harry's heart stopped beating? Or when someone died? Maybe this is worse I don't know. But thank you for reviewing, hope you enjoy Remus's fate :P
Aurora: Thanks for the heads up on the fee health service, glad you like the story! Keep reading!
A-Potter-Person: h.e.r.e. i.s. m.o.r.e. s.t.o.r.y Thanks for reviewing!
Chaser: You'll see how Moony is, enjoy!
Kitty: You'll see how Moony is, enjoy!
Potter Ioleus: I'm finishing, I promise! I hate when authors do that too. Especially when they don't tell you. Sorry that I almost did it!! I'm glad you like my story. I'm trying to do a really good job, and I hope its working!
Lamina Court: I briefly considered it being the full moon, but I thought Moony had been through enough, so have no fear! I'm glad you're liking the story still, and are keeping posted on how long it is before OOP comes out. I have to keep writing well, just to get that from you!
Professor Authordude: What does ACK mean? You don't like it. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but could ya tell me why?
Moongirl: I guarantee nothing about killing people in this story. But no, I won't kill anyone actually. :P Thanks for the review!
Geordie Lass 4eva: I'm glad you think its brilliant, Thanks!
Katie: Yup, I'm continuing...I still feel incredibly stupid for ever saying I wasn't going to! I don't mind that you didn't review the previous chapter, I'm just glad you read it. Well, its not definitely 8, but I'm hoping for somewhere around there. There may be a sequel, but I'm not really planning on writing one. I thought I'd just stop writing afterwards, but it depends on what ideas come to me, you know? Read on and you'll find what I've decided to do about Remus. You're right, I did miss writing about Remus * grins sheepishly * thank you for reviewing yet again. You're one of my favorite reviewers, so don't stop! I may take you up on the springboard offer. I could use the help on some occasions. Like at the end of this chapter I was going to have it go one of two ways. I settled it on my own, though. And I'm very upset with who they picked to play Sirius and Remus. Sirius's actor kind of looks right, but there's something about him that just makes me want to scream NO! And Remus's is just not right at all. Ugh, I should be the casting director!!! Next chapter should be out fairly soon. Hope to hear from you again!
Padfoot1979: Dismantled is pretty foreboding, huh? But that's what happened as you'll see in this chapter. Hope I did a good job! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, hope you liked this one as well!!!
Zoidamisu: Thanks so much! You really think it's the best Sirius fic? I must disagree with you there, but thank you so much anyway : )
~~~~~~~
"Please come into my office, Sirius, Harry." Dumbledore said, opening the door he had just shut.
"So, it's true Albus? They really-they really got into Azkaban?"
"Yes, I'm sorry to say it is the truth."
"So, what about the prisoners? What about Remus?"
"That's what I was about to go find out, but I thought I should talk to you first. Sirius, this situation is dire. I'm hoping that Remus will not have left his cell, but for all I know the deatheater's forced him out of there."
"Oh God, and he was already in such bad shape...Albus, do you think he'll make it?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, Mr. Black. Now, I must be on my way. Mr. Potter, since it is Sunday you have nothing to worry about, but if I'm not back by tomorrow, you may be excused from your classes. Sirius, if you're not up to teaching tell Professor McGonagall and she'll find a substitute."
"You'll take him here if you find him, won't you?" Sirius asked, panicking.
Dumbledore nodded. "I'll be back soon, don't worry too much, but don't get your hopes up either." With those words Dumbledore left a stunned Harry and Sirius alone in his office.
Sirius took a moment to process all that Dumbledore had said and then put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Lets go, Harry."
Harry nodded and together they made it back to Sirius rooms. Harry didn't say a word, but resumed his terrified gaze and stared into nothing. This wasn't helping Sirius much. His best friends life was again in major jeopardy, and his godson was going insane. Just what he needed.
"Harry, are you okay?"
Harry slowly turned his head and then nodded, "I just wish everything could be normal. I wish that I could have one month of complete normalcy! Is that too much to ask for?"
Sirius put his hand on Harry's head and ruffled his hair gently, "No Harry, it's not too much to ask for. Someday, someday you'll have that normalcy. I'm going to make it happen. I promise." Sirius then put his arms loosely around Harry and rested his chin on Harry's head.
He looked down as he heard Harry whisper, "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"How about I promise to do everything in my power to make everything normal one day?"
"I can live with that," Harry whispered. They sat in silence for a while after that, until Sirius let out a big yawn. Harry then remembered that Sirius hadn't gotten any sleep that night, because of him.
"I'm going to go shower and change my clothes, talk to Ron and Hermione about...this. You should get some sleep, I'm sorry I kept you up all night."
"It's no problem Harry, you go have fun with your friends. Remember you can come here anytime you feel like it. I think I will go to sleep now."
Harry got up and Sirius sprawled out on the couch. He was apparently too tired to even walk the few yards to his bedroom. Sirius sprawled his arms out for a hug and Harry leaned over to give him one.
"Bye Harry."
"Bye Sirius," Harry said as he walked out the door. After he shut the door, he leaned against it sighing deeply. He wanted to cry, but told himself that there would be no tears at Hogwarts. He closed his eyes and thought of how awful that night and morning had been. His thoughts were rudely interrupted by one of the last people he wanted to see, Snape.
"What are you doing here, Potter?" he spat. "I know Black gives you free access to his room, but that doesn't mean you can loiter here in the teachers hallway."
"I wasn't loitering, I was just leaving."
"Good, leave, and I for one would appreciate it if you would stay in your own hall from now on."
Harry rolled his eyes, Snape caught it.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Potter, unless you want house points taken away!"
"Why do you hate me so much Snape? What in the world did I, Harry Potter, ever do to you?" Harry didn't know where his courage to ask such a question came from, the questions just seemed to flow out of him. Snape was equally taken aback by it.
He was momentarily speechless, but his words eventually found a way to his mouth. "I do not hate any student, Mr. Potter. I simply dislike you! I dislike everything you are, mainly your fame."
"My fame? My Fame!!! I don't even want my fame. I would give anything to no longer be the famous Harry Potter! Sirius told you that, I know he did! I would gladly give all that up for a normal life with Sirius and Remus, but I can't have that. Remus is who knows where right now, I'm seeing things that I don't want to see....life for Harry Potter sucks and you're just making it worse! Do you know what I would give to be any other student in this school? I wish I could be like...like Ernie MacMillan. Nobody cares what he does, he's a normal kid. If he gets a good grade, good for him, but it isn't reported in the friggin' Daily Prophet!" Harry was nearly winded after this tirade. He still had no idea where any of his words were coming from, but he could no longer hold them inside.
Snape gaped at him for a moment. "Your fame isn't the only thing I dislike about you Potter. That Gryffindor Pride of yours makes me sick. You're an incessant trouble maker, and I hate...hate that blasted scar!"
"Gryffindor pride, well that's considered a good thing to most. Dumbledore has Gryffindor pride too and you like him! I only get into trouble when I'm trying to help things. And trouble finds me, I don't go looking for it like you seem to think. And I hate this scar too! What the hell do you think I can do about it? Do you realize what this scar does? It's a direct connection to Voldemort! More direct than that skull tattooed on your arm. It sends me visions professor, visions of what Voldemort and those deatheaters do to poor, innocent people. A pastime I believe you once participated in! Can you even imagine what that's like for me? Do you want to see what I see everyday?"
Snape was beyond fighting, curiosity was getting the better of him, something he never allowed to happen. "Yes," he said.
Harry still looked fired up, but he calmed his voice slightly and said, "Touch my scar."
Snape reached out one cold, bony finger and pressed it gently against the lightning bolt scar. Flashes of pictures appeared in his head. For Snape at least, the flashes brought back old memories of what his own life once was like. Harry watched his professor's face as he saw what Harry saw. Snape was grimacing and squinting and after a few moments it was clear that he couldn't handle seeing anymore, he pulled his finger away.
For a moment he looked at Harry with pity in his eyes, which really wasn't what Harry was going for. He just wanted to show his professor that Harry didn't think he was the king of the castle, and that his life was harder than everyone else's, not better.
Snape, checked his expression back to his normal cold one, but there was something in his eyes that told Harry that Snape's opinion of him had changed that day.
"Move along now Potter," he said softly and turned into a room a little ways down the hall from Sirius's.
Harry was slightly bewildered but he did as Snape requested and returned to his common room.
Ron was sitting alone in the common room when Harry arrived.
"Hey, mate, where've you been?"
"With Sirius," Harry said in a tired voice.
"What's wrong?"
"I take it you haven't read the Daily Prophet yet...where's Hermione?"
"In the library I think, don't know really. What was in the Daily Prophet?"
Harry swallowed hard and said in a very tight voice, "Azkaban has been taken over by the deatheaters. No one knows yet what's happened to Remus, or what's going to happen to him."
"Bloody Hell," Ron muttered. "What are they doing to find him?"
"We just talked to Dumbledore, he's on his way to find him now. He's going to take whatever's left of him back here."
Ron looked down, he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry Harry."
"Me too."
"Do you want to do something to take your mind off it...until you know what's going to come of it."
Harry nodded and said, "Lets play chess."
They began a game and Harry's mind finally stopped worrying, until Ron noticed how red Harry's forehead was.
"Your forehead's all red, mate," he said, reaching a finger out to touch his scar.
Harry immediately clapped a hand over it. He didn't want Ron to see what he had to see. Ron understood Harry enough, he didn't need further depth into his world.
"You don't want to touch that, Ron."
"Why?"
"I don't want to explain, just trust me, okay? It's your move."
Ron gave Harry another curious look and turned back to the game. They played all afternoon.
Meanwhile, Dumbledore had just reached what was left of Azkaban. A wall was blown out on one side of the fortress, and the bodies of a few dead prisoners lay in the ruins. Dumbledore ventured forth and looked at each of the dead bodies, there weren't many dead, and Remus, thankfully wasn't one of them. He then searched inside the cells, few were still closed and there were some terrified prisoners contained in a few of them. Again, none of them were Remus.
This confirmed one of Dumbledore's fears. The deatheaters had done something to Remus. He checked a few other things around the ruins of the fortress and then left to explore the area surrounding Azkaban. He searched behind trees, in bushes, but still found no sign of Remus Lupin anywhere, nor any other of the escaped convicts. He had been searching for hours now, and was ready to call it a day. He took a boat back to the mainland and was about to apparate to Hogsmead when he heard the rustle of a bush nearby, followed by a moan of pain. He threw his arm out and pointed his wand in the direction the noise had come from and slowly crept forward.
Pushing aside some brush Dumbledore bent down to peer through the thickets of leaves and what he saw threw him back. There, curled in the fetal position was one, Remus Lupin. Remus's eyes were dark, his skin filthy and cut up in many places. He was shaking like mad, though the weather was still very warm. Remus stared at Dumbledore, almost in fear, as though he didn't remember him at all. Soon, however, recognition showed in his face and he opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a scratchy sound.
"Mr. Lupin! Thank heavens I've found you! Have no fear, I'll take you to the castle immediately. It's all over Remus, you have nothing to worry about anymore."
Remus nodded slowly and looked like he was trying to get up, but failed miserably. Dumbledore crept deeper into the bushes and grabbed Remus under the arms and dragged his very light frame out, being careful not to injure him further. Dumbledore made sure he had a firm grip and did something he rarely liked to do, apparated himself and Remus to Hogsmead. It was very dangerous to do this, as the risk of splinching was much greater, but the situation was dire.
The two made it safely to Hogsmead, where Dumbledore conjured a stretcher and placed Remus on it. Dumbledore was strong for his age, but not strong enough to carry a full grown man that distance. He levitated Remus up to the castle and directly to the hospital wing.
Madam Pomfrey hurried over to him and was in a near panic as she checked all of his vital signs. All of them were there, but not in good condition. His pulse was very slow, and his blood pressure was way below the norm. Pomfrey was worried.
She managed to get him stabilized and told Dumbledore that he was in critical condition. The next 24 hours would tell them what they all wanted to know. Pomfrey did everything she could for him and then gave him a sleeping potion so he could have his first peaceful sleep in a very long time.
Once Dumbledore had some good information, he went to report his findings to Sirius. He walked speedily to Sirius's room and knocked loudly on the door.
It took a while, but Sirius finally came to the door. Dumbledore knew instantly that he had just woken up, as his hair was disheveled and there were pillow wrinkles on his face. At seeing Dumbledore, however, he was instantly awake.
"What happened?" Sirius asked immediately.
"I found him."
"You-you found him? That's great! Is he okay?"
Dumbledore shook his head. "He's in pretty bad shape, Sirius. Madam Pomfrey has examined him and said he's in critical condition. The next 24 hours will be crucial. It's really up to him if he wants to survive."
"Oh God...he has to live! Can I see him?"
"He's sleeping right now, under a potion, but I'm sure he'd like visitors when he wakes. Why don't you get Harry first and then head to the hospital wing together."
Sirius nodded, "Thanks Albus, for finding him."
"Not a problem Sirius, of course."
Dumbledore then turned and left the room. Sirius threw on some nicer clothes and headed for the Gryffindor common room. Harry was playing exploding snap with Ron and a few other boys from his year. He instantly spotted Sirius and put his cards down and approached his godfather.
"Did they...?" Harry began.
"Yeah, Dumbledore found Remus. He's here in the castle."
"That's awesome!" Harry exclaimed.
"Not that awesome, Harry. Dumbledore says he's in really bad shape and may not make it through the next 24 hours."
The happy smile on Harry's face immediately disappeared.
"Can we go see him?"
Sirius nodded, "I just wanted to grab you first. Lets go."
"Okay, just a second," Harry said before telling his friends he was done playing.
They all asked why and Harry said, "There's someone I need to visit," and left the room with Sirius.
Ron knew who the person Harry going to visit was, but thought it best not to tell the others. Dumbledore was probably going to keep it on the lowdown.
Harry and Sirius walked quickly through the halls until they reached the door to the hospital wing. "Got to be really quiet, Harry, or Pomfrey will kick us out."
"I know, I've seen it done many times."
"Okay," Sirius said darkly and pushed open the door. He walked straight to Pomfrey's desk and asked her where Remus was. It took no coaxing for once, and she pointed him right in the direction of Remus's bed.
Before she let Sirius go, however, she said, "I have him in a coma-like sleep. He won't respond or anything, but he can still hear you and may be able to process things you say. Tell him words of encouragement. Maybe you'll even bring him back to consciousness if you talk to him long enough."
Sirius nodded and they headed for the bed. They slipped under the curtains and had the first glimpse of Remus that they had seen in a few months. Saying he looked awful was an understatement. Remus looked like death itself. His entire head looked swollen, while the rest of his body was extremely thin and bony. Bruises covered him all over, and there were scars where cuts had been healed. Sirius's heart caught in his throat at the sight of his best friend. Harry was speechless. They both pulled up chairs next to Remus. Sirius grabbed one of Remus's hands, and one of Harry's.
"Moony, buddy, we're here for you, me and Harry. We're so happy you're here Moony, you can't even begin to know. We were so worried, both when you were in Azkaban and when it was attacked. But now you're here, safe, but we're still worried. Moony, fight, don't die, fight for your life, you can do it, and we'll help you. Don't let it be the end." Tears were forming in Sirius's eyes as he spoke. Remus showed no sign that he heard a word of what Sirius was saying, and that upset Sirius even more.
His voice cracked on and off as he continued talking, "You're my brother Moony, you always have been, ever since our first year at Hogwarts, I considered you my brother. And when my real family died, you, you and James and Lily became my family. And when they died, you were it. The whole time I was in Azkaban, I missed two people, you and little Harry. And now, today the two of you are my family. More so than Sorai, she's my family by blood, and I love her, but you-you and Harry are my real family. Don't leave me and Harry, Rem. We need you so much, and we miss you. Fight."
That was all Sirius could say as he began sobbing with worry. He released both Harry's and Remus's hands and buried his face in his own at the edge of Remus's bed. Harry stood and walked to the other side of the bed and sat on the edge of it. He grabbed hold of one of Remus's withered hands and examined it closely, not saying a word. He then examined the rest of Remus's arm as well. He found that it was almost deteriorating, and the bone was all he could really feel.
Harry sat there for a while in complete silence until Sirius had somehow managed to cry himself asleep, then Harry began to talk.
"Remus, can-can you hear me?" he began. He got no answer from Remus whatsoever. "Well if you can, there are some things I want to tell you. First, I've missed you so much. It's so great to see you again, even in the condition you're in, but I still miss you. It's like, like your body's here but you're not. I have to see you, really see you one more time Remus, so please, please don't just go. Please don't die. Sirius couldn't take it, it would kill him too. I know it would. I thought it would when you were first sent to jail, but it didn't, he was okay as long as he kept up hope that you'd make it out fine. But, Remus, you're not fine. You're in critical condition. Now, I don't really know what that means, but it's obvious that it's not good, and that there's a good chance you're not going to make it...but you have to. C'mon Remus, you can do it."
Harry didn't really know what else to say, so he started reminiscing. "When you taught here Remus, that was probably the best year of my life. No one really tried to kill me, except the dementors, and I had you around the school. When I first found out you were friends with my dad, I hoped we'd end up like we did. Me getting to know you a lot better, you know. But at the end of that year, I thought it would never happen. First when I thought you were another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who wanted to kill me, and then when you decided to leave, just because you were a werewolf. I don't care that you're a werewolf Remus. You and Sirius have quickly become...like...my two fathers. Something I really needed. I can't thank you enough for that, but well, I want to. And I can't thank you if you don't wake up and live Remus! Please wake up, wake up and tell me it will all be okay!"
Harry had actually started shouting and tears began streaming down his face. He quickly wiped them away with both his and Remus's hand, as they were connected. He was about to let go of Remus's hand when he realized he had done that, but as he did, it gave his hand a slight pressure.
"Remus?" Harry murmured, looking into his face. Remus's lip twitched slightly and his eyes squinted tightly. Then he relaxed his face and slowly opened his eyes. Harry smiled broadly at him.
"Thank God, you're up...how do you feel?" Tears were still streaming down his face, but his voice was clear.
Remus blinked a couple of times and looked at Harry. He lifted his hand and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. Then, he tried to talk, but like earlier all that came out was scratchiness.
"Do you want some water?" Harry asked, thinking it may help.
Remus nodded and Harry jumped off the bed and ran towards the water cooler. He filled a small cup and brought it back to Remus. He carefully tipped the cup up to Remus's lips and poured the water into his mouth in small increments until the water was gone.
Remus then tried to speak again, but was still very scratchy, though this time what he said was intelligible, "Thanks Harry."
"No problem," Harry said, tears still streaming down his face.
"Don't cry Harry, don't cry for me."
"I won't if you say you'll be okay, will you?"
Remus stared deeply into Harry's eyes and sighed deeply, "I'm going to try, after all you and Sirius just said...how could I not even try?"
"You-you heard us? I didn't think you did."
"Yeah, I heard you, you almost had me crying, too." Remus whispered through his hoarse voice. He tried to sit up in bed, but couldn't do it. Harry went and tried to help him. He was shocked to see how easy it was, Remus now weighed less then he did. Once he was sitting up, Remus reached out and pulled Harry into a tight, bony hug. Harry hugged back, but as gently as possible. Harry then helped Remus ease slowly back onto the pillows.
"How do you feel?" Harry asked.
"I don't really feel anything. Just a dull pain...everywhere. It's not so bad though. I just feel...really weak, like I couldn't stand right now if my life depended on it."
Harry nodded and again grabbed a hold of Remus's hand.
"Do-do you think you'll be alright?"
"I think I will...it'll take a while, but I'm not ready to die yet, and I can't leave you and Sirius behind, not like this."
Harry grinned at Remus with his eyes still quite watery.
"Where's Padfoot?" Remus asked.
Harry pointed to the other side of the bed. Remus looked embarrassed, but just smiled anyway. He slowly lifted a hand and plopped it on Sirius's head, it looked like he was aiming for the shoulder. He gently rubbed his hand through Sirius's hair like he was trying to push his head, but didn't have the strength. Luckily, Sirius wasn't sleeping deeply and he woke quickly.
"Moony?" he muttered. Remus nodded his head. Sirius stood up and leaned in to give his best friend a long hug. "Thank God," he whispered, rocking Remus back and forth.
"How are you?"
"Just ducky Sirius," Remus joked, his voice still very hoarse.
Sirius shook his head at the joke, "I'm serious."
"I know you are," he joked again. (Sorry, I had to do that at least once).
"Remus..." Sirius said, tears again welling in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Remus muttered. "Just trying to lighten the mood."
"It's okay, you can do anything you want Rem. But please tell me, really, how are you?"
"I'm not so bad, Sir, I think I'll be fine in the end...it'll be awhile though."
"I missed you so much Rem...a day didn't go by when I didn't think about you...worry about you."
"I always thought about you guys too. Thanks for that letter Sir, it helped more than you'll ever know."
"I thought it would."
"I still have it," Remus said, "It's in my pocket." Remus reached down to get it, but found that he was in a hospital gown and not his old dingy clothes. "Where the hell are my pants?!" Remus yelled as loud as he could, which wasn't that loud.
"Shhh, Moony calm down, I'll go find your pants, okay?" Sirius asked.
Remus nodded and put a hand to his head like he was going to pass out from the stress of not knowing where his pants were, or more importantly his letter. Sirius came back shortly with Remus's pants and tossed them on his lap. Remus sighed in relief and pulled a very ratty piece of paper out of the pocket. It was covered in dirt and the words could barely be read, but Remus had it memorized anyways. All he needed was the faint trace of Sirius's words to make him happy. He folded the letter back up and held on to it tightly.
"So, Moony, physically you say you feel alright, how about mentally?"
Remus couldn't think of a joke to get him out of this one, and he frowned slightly, looking down.
"Rem?" Sirius asked, placing a hand on his friends trembling shoulder.
Remus looked up with sad eyes and muttered, "It was awful Sirius...I think- I think I would have died before December if I had to stay in there. I could feel that I was half way to the loony bin as it was. I lived everyday in so much fear, I probably could have died from that. I'm still scared actually.
I tried to do what you said, Sir, thought of why I didn't deserve to be there, when the dementors were around, and it just didn't help at all. They managed to take that away too."
"You must have been thinking of it as a happy thing Rem, there's nothing you could have done about that."
Remus was quiet for a while as he collected his thoughts, which were many and unpleasant. It looked like he was reliving every thing that happened while he was in Azkaban: all the transformations, the insane words of the others, the deaths of the others, the dementors, everything. Then all of a sudden, he just started sobbing.
Sirius gently pulled Remus into a firm hug, and rocked him as he cried. Remus buried his head in Sirius's shoulder and sobbed in pure anguish.
All the while, Sirius was muttering words of encouragement, telling him it was all over and that he never had to go back. He told him that his life was going to go back to normal now, but he himself wasn't so sure, nor was Remus, apparently.
"You don't know that Padfoot, nobody knows what they're going to do to me now, I never finished my sentence."
"I won't let them take you back to a place like that, Remus, and I don't think Dumbledore will either. Don't worry. Don't worry." Sirius started rocking Remus back and forth slowly until his tears ran dry.
They sat in silence for a while and then Remus asked, "What's new with you guys?"
Sirius smiled and replied, "I'm teaching."
Remus did a double take making both Harry and Sirius laugh. "Yeah, there was an incident in Hogsmead the day we arrived and the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was murdered. Dumbledore called on me to fill the spot, and I willingly obliged. I really like it."
"Didn't you tease me incessantly for teaching. Once I trusted you again, that is?"
"Yeah, but now I understand what its like."
"And Harry, what's new with you?"
"Nothing really," Harry replied with a shrug, not wanting to get into the troubles with his scar, at least not yet.
"Nothing really!?" Sirius exclaimed, making Harry flinch. "Being voted quidditch captain is nothing really?"
"Quidditch captain, Harry? Excellent, your father would be so proud."
Harry blushed slightly and then worried that Sirius would bring up the scar thing.
"Harry, it really meant a lot that you came to see me. That definitely helped me carry out some of the harder days."
Harry grinned slightly and gave Remus a tight hug.
They talked for a while more about all that had happened over the months. Both Sirius and Harry leaving out the problems Harry had been having. They would tell him when he was ready to hear it. Around 9:30 Remus started yawning, and blinking much more than usual.
"I think we better leave you to get some rest, Remus. I'm going to fetch Pomfrey first, though, so she can check up on you."
Remus nodded and watched Sirius leave for a moment. Then he turned to Harry.
"Your scar's really red, Harry," he said reaching up to touch it. Harry pulled back and nearly fell off the bed. Remus looked at him curiously, but didn't say anything.
Harry hurried to come up with an explanation. "Yeah, umm, me and Ron were fooling around earlier in the common room and I rubbed it against the rug. It's just a little rug burn, it's a little sore's all."
Remus looked skeptical, but he nodded anyways. He looked ready to ask another question when Madam Pomfrey came bustling in.
"It's time for you two to leave, I need to see to it that this patient is well!"
"We were planning on going Madam Pomfrey, but could you tell us what you think so far?"
"Well, the fact that he's up and talking to you, and has been for so long, says a lot. I think he'll be just fine and may even be able to leave the hospital wing in a day or so."
"Really? That's excellent!" Sirius almost yelled. He gave Remus a big smile and left the curtained area.
Harry gave Remus another hug, said, "Goodnight," and left as well. Sirius was waiting for him in the corridor and put his arm over his shoulder when he was close enough. Sirius walked him back to the Gryffindor common room in silence. When they reached the portrait hole Sirius turned him and placed a hand on both of Harry's shoulders. Harry looked up into his face.
"Are you going to be okay, Harry?"
Harry nodded quickly, almost too quickly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, Sirius, I'm going to be fine."
"I could tell you didn't want to talk to Remus about any of your own problems, Harry. That's okay for now, but he's not going to accept it later on. He'll be able to deal with it, okay?"
Harry nodded, but didn't look so sure.
Sirius sighed, seeing the look on Harry's face and just said, "You know where I am, if you need me."
Harry nodded and Sirius gave him a goodnight hug then walked off down the corridor. Harry sighed deeply to himself and went through the portrait hole. Ron and Hermione were waiting up for him when he arrived.
"How is he?" Ron asked.
Harry shrugged, plopping next to them on a couch. "He was talking and everything, but he looks awful, and he was a little...er...off. He just about went crazy when he couldn't find his pants. I've never seen anyone look as bad as he does though. He looks anorexic and beaten. It's awful."
"Is he going to be alright?" Hermione asked softly.
Again, Harry shrugged, "He thinks so, Pomfrey thinks so, and Sirius thinks so, but I don't think so. I think he'll survive, but I don't think he'll ever be okay." Harry looked like he was going to cry, but didn't. "I'm going to bed, I'm really tired, didn't sleep well last night."
Ron and Hermione said good night to him, but he didn't respond, just walked quickly for the staircase. He didn't respond, because if he had, they would have known how upset he was. They would have been able to tell that he couldn't hold back his tears of worry. When he reached his bed, Harry thought to himself, "So much for not crying at Hogwarts."
He then threw on some pajamas, dried his eyes, and successfully fell asleep. But not for long. After about three hours of sleep Harry woke with a start from another terrible dream of deatheater attacks. This one had been particularly vivid. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep for a long time, but didn't want to go bother Sirius. Thus, Harry laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling. He had finally calmed down a bit until he began seeing the visions with his eyes open. Harry was finally, really scared and hopped out of bed and ran as fast as he could towards Sirius's room. He was almost to the door when he passed out in the middle of the hall. Not to be found until hours later when, one, Severus Snape stepped out of his quarters.
~~~~~~
Did you like it? I had fun with this chapter, though I was in severe pain pretty much the entire time I was writing it. This week, I was on vacation from school, and my best friend and I enlisted three of our guy friends to teach us how to snowboard, we're both skiers. Lets just say that there was a whole lot of falling down, and now we both can hardly move. Thus, I had ample time to work on this story, though I dread getting up from it, because it hurts SOOO bad! Anyway, next chapter will be along shortly, don't know when, but I promise not to leave you guys hanging ever again! You deserve more than that, especially if you review!!!!
Sirius is Sexy: You'll see about Remus, glad to know that you care!
Xo-chinadoll-ox: I'm happy you enjoy my story so much! I'm once again enjoying writing it, so I guess we're both happy!
Rhiain: Thanks for the review, Moony....you'll see what happens to Moony.
Laralynn: I'm glad I stuck with the story too, I wish I never scared you all by saying I was giving it up. Here's the next chapter for you!
Electricity of the phoenix: I'm glad you thought it was an exciting chapter! I had fun writing it, but more fun writing this one, so I hope you like it too!
Carolyn: You'll have to read to find out if Remus is gonna be okay! Thanks for reviewing!
Tiff: I'm so happy you don't think my stories too sappy, sometimes I wonder. I have been informed about the Health Care thing in Britain, I should really fix it, but never seem to get around to it. Thanks though, I hope you like the rest of the story as well!
Esperanza: Speechless!?!? That's a good thing, right?
Sushine1shell: Read to find out about Moony, and you're right, he doesn't deserve anything bad to happen, but people don't always get what they deserve, as I've already shown, more times than I probably should have. Thanks for reviewing!
Fabnikki: I know what you mean about reading non stop except for necessities, I do it way too much, especially over the summer, it was really quite ridiculous. But I'm glad you're doing it with my fic : ). I have been informed about the Health Care thing, but thank you so much anyways, I should go back and fix that. I hope you do hang on for the next chapter, and all the ones after that! And, I'm sorry I can't make my story lighter anymore. It was so much easier when they had nothing to do those summer days. But I promise to make sure I add some more light, funny scenes before the end. Don't you hate when you're reading these things and you start laughing, it's so embarrassing! "What are you laughing at?" "Oh nothing" I do try to stick in some small humorous things, but there's so much angst in the story that its often overlooked as more seriousness. Thanks for reviewing!
Moonlight: Yup, they got into Azkaban. You'll have to read to see if Remus is okay, and what has happened to him. The full extent of it all won't be out until next chapter, but you pretty much will see it all in this one. Enjoy : )
A.Dee: Yeah, FanFic.net malfunctions a lot doesn't it? Anyhow, I'm glad I decided to keep writing too. I won't tell you if Remus's alright, you'll have to read it and find out for yourself. I imagine you like it better that way anyhow!
Ella: Thanks for the review, and tell me what you think about what's happened to Moony, once you read it!
Sirius the homicidal maniac: Yes I'm back, LOL. You liked the enervate thing, huh? I always wonder why they never do that for him too though. Rather, they just let him suffer with his nightmares. It's cruel!!! *Hug back*
Tinuviel: Thank you for reading my story instead of studying, LOL. I know how you feel though, I always seem to slack off just so I can read fanfics. Something I can really do anytime. Trust me, though, this is far from the weirdest review I've ever received. It was actually quite normal. I'm glad you like the story thus far, and hope you continue to enjoy it!
Elizabeth Bathory: You'll see what I've done with Remus, I missed him too much to leave him out of the story any longer, does that give you a hint? Thanks for reviewing!
Melissa Lupin: LOL, you really don't want Remus to die, read the chapter, you shouldn't be too upset... :P
Shitsumon: Thanks for correcting my spelling. Stupid me! I was like the Daily Profit? What kind of a name is that? I guess a paper can make a profit...God, I didn't once think of the other prophet...thank you very much! And, I don't know how I let Harry have conversations with himself, but you know sometimes it just happens. I'll try to remember to go back and fix it! I'm glad you like the story despite these things, please keep reading and reviewing and telling me what I've done wrong!
Theeadia: That was a cliffie, I like writing those. You must have just joined the story, cuz I've definitely written worse ones then that. This one has a little one too. I like writing them!
KaceyRat: You want more? Well here it is! And what r u gonna do if Remus isn't okay? Thanks for reviewing!
The Nemisister Raptor: I've written worse cliffie's than that haven't I? Like when Harry's heart stopped beating? Or when someone died? Maybe this is worse I don't know. But thank you for reviewing, hope you enjoy Remus's fate :P
Aurora: Thanks for the heads up on the fee health service, glad you like the story! Keep reading!
A-Potter-Person: h.e.r.e. i.s. m.o.r.e. s.t.o.r.y Thanks for reviewing!
Chaser: You'll see how Moony is, enjoy!
Kitty: You'll see how Moony is, enjoy!
Potter Ioleus: I'm finishing, I promise! I hate when authors do that too. Especially when they don't tell you. Sorry that I almost did it!! I'm glad you like my story. I'm trying to do a really good job, and I hope its working!
Lamina Court: I briefly considered it being the full moon, but I thought Moony had been through enough, so have no fear! I'm glad you're liking the story still, and are keeping posted on how long it is before OOP comes out. I have to keep writing well, just to get that from you!
Professor Authordude: What does ACK mean? You don't like it. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but could ya tell me why?
Moongirl: I guarantee nothing about killing people in this story. But no, I won't kill anyone actually. :P Thanks for the review!
Geordie Lass 4eva: I'm glad you think its brilliant, Thanks!
Katie: Yup, I'm continuing...I still feel incredibly stupid for ever saying I wasn't going to! I don't mind that you didn't review the previous chapter, I'm just glad you read it. Well, its not definitely 8, but I'm hoping for somewhere around there. There may be a sequel, but I'm not really planning on writing one. I thought I'd just stop writing afterwards, but it depends on what ideas come to me, you know? Read on and you'll find what I've decided to do about Remus. You're right, I did miss writing about Remus * grins sheepishly * thank you for reviewing yet again. You're one of my favorite reviewers, so don't stop! I may take you up on the springboard offer. I could use the help on some occasions. Like at the end of this chapter I was going to have it go one of two ways. I settled it on my own, though. And I'm very upset with who they picked to play Sirius and Remus. Sirius's actor kind of looks right, but there's something about him that just makes me want to scream NO! And Remus's is just not right at all. Ugh, I should be the casting director!!! Next chapter should be out fairly soon. Hope to hear from you again!
Padfoot1979: Dismantled is pretty foreboding, huh? But that's what happened as you'll see in this chapter. Hope I did a good job! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, hope you liked this one as well!!!
Zoidamisu: Thanks so much! You really think it's the best Sirius fic? I must disagree with you there, but thank you so much anyway : )
~~~~~~~
"Please come into my office, Sirius, Harry." Dumbledore said, opening the door he had just shut.
"So, it's true Albus? They really-they really got into Azkaban?"
"Yes, I'm sorry to say it is the truth."
"So, what about the prisoners? What about Remus?"
"That's what I was about to go find out, but I thought I should talk to you first. Sirius, this situation is dire. I'm hoping that Remus will not have left his cell, but for all I know the deatheater's forced him out of there."
"Oh God, and he was already in such bad shape...Albus, do you think he'll make it?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, Mr. Black. Now, I must be on my way. Mr. Potter, since it is Sunday you have nothing to worry about, but if I'm not back by tomorrow, you may be excused from your classes. Sirius, if you're not up to teaching tell Professor McGonagall and she'll find a substitute."
"You'll take him here if you find him, won't you?" Sirius asked, panicking.
Dumbledore nodded. "I'll be back soon, don't worry too much, but don't get your hopes up either." With those words Dumbledore left a stunned Harry and Sirius alone in his office.
Sirius took a moment to process all that Dumbledore had said and then put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Lets go, Harry."
Harry nodded and together they made it back to Sirius rooms. Harry didn't say a word, but resumed his terrified gaze and stared into nothing. This wasn't helping Sirius much. His best friends life was again in major jeopardy, and his godson was going insane. Just what he needed.
"Harry, are you okay?"
Harry slowly turned his head and then nodded, "I just wish everything could be normal. I wish that I could have one month of complete normalcy! Is that too much to ask for?"
Sirius put his hand on Harry's head and ruffled his hair gently, "No Harry, it's not too much to ask for. Someday, someday you'll have that normalcy. I'm going to make it happen. I promise." Sirius then put his arms loosely around Harry and rested his chin on Harry's head.
He looked down as he heard Harry whisper, "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"How about I promise to do everything in my power to make everything normal one day?"
"I can live with that," Harry whispered. They sat in silence for a while after that, until Sirius let out a big yawn. Harry then remembered that Sirius hadn't gotten any sleep that night, because of him.
"I'm going to go shower and change my clothes, talk to Ron and Hermione about...this. You should get some sleep, I'm sorry I kept you up all night."
"It's no problem Harry, you go have fun with your friends. Remember you can come here anytime you feel like it. I think I will go to sleep now."
Harry got up and Sirius sprawled out on the couch. He was apparently too tired to even walk the few yards to his bedroom. Sirius sprawled his arms out for a hug and Harry leaned over to give him one.
"Bye Harry."
"Bye Sirius," Harry said as he walked out the door. After he shut the door, he leaned against it sighing deeply. He wanted to cry, but told himself that there would be no tears at Hogwarts. He closed his eyes and thought of how awful that night and morning had been. His thoughts were rudely interrupted by one of the last people he wanted to see, Snape.
"What are you doing here, Potter?" he spat. "I know Black gives you free access to his room, but that doesn't mean you can loiter here in the teachers hallway."
"I wasn't loitering, I was just leaving."
"Good, leave, and I for one would appreciate it if you would stay in your own hall from now on."
Harry rolled his eyes, Snape caught it.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Potter, unless you want house points taken away!"
"Why do you hate me so much Snape? What in the world did I, Harry Potter, ever do to you?" Harry didn't know where his courage to ask such a question came from, the questions just seemed to flow out of him. Snape was equally taken aback by it.
He was momentarily speechless, but his words eventually found a way to his mouth. "I do not hate any student, Mr. Potter. I simply dislike you! I dislike everything you are, mainly your fame."
"My fame? My Fame!!! I don't even want my fame. I would give anything to no longer be the famous Harry Potter! Sirius told you that, I know he did! I would gladly give all that up for a normal life with Sirius and Remus, but I can't have that. Remus is who knows where right now, I'm seeing things that I don't want to see....life for Harry Potter sucks and you're just making it worse! Do you know what I would give to be any other student in this school? I wish I could be like...like Ernie MacMillan. Nobody cares what he does, he's a normal kid. If he gets a good grade, good for him, but it isn't reported in the friggin' Daily Prophet!" Harry was nearly winded after this tirade. He still had no idea where any of his words were coming from, but he could no longer hold them inside.
Snape gaped at him for a moment. "Your fame isn't the only thing I dislike about you Potter. That Gryffindor Pride of yours makes me sick. You're an incessant trouble maker, and I hate...hate that blasted scar!"
"Gryffindor pride, well that's considered a good thing to most. Dumbledore has Gryffindor pride too and you like him! I only get into trouble when I'm trying to help things. And trouble finds me, I don't go looking for it like you seem to think. And I hate this scar too! What the hell do you think I can do about it? Do you realize what this scar does? It's a direct connection to Voldemort! More direct than that skull tattooed on your arm. It sends me visions professor, visions of what Voldemort and those deatheaters do to poor, innocent people. A pastime I believe you once participated in! Can you even imagine what that's like for me? Do you want to see what I see everyday?"
Snape was beyond fighting, curiosity was getting the better of him, something he never allowed to happen. "Yes," he said.
Harry still looked fired up, but he calmed his voice slightly and said, "Touch my scar."
Snape reached out one cold, bony finger and pressed it gently against the lightning bolt scar. Flashes of pictures appeared in his head. For Snape at least, the flashes brought back old memories of what his own life once was like. Harry watched his professor's face as he saw what Harry saw. Snape was grimacing and squinting and after a few moments it was clear that he couldn't handle seeing anymore, he pulled his finger away.
For a moment he looked at Harry with pity in his eyes, which really wasn't what Harry was going for. He just wanted to show his professor that Harry didn't think he was the king of the castle, and that his life was harder than everyone else's, not better.
Snape, checked his expression back to his normal cold one, but there was something in his eyes that told Harry that Snape's opinion of him had changed that day.
"Move along now Potter," he said softly and turned into a room a little ways down the hall from Sirius's.
Harry was slightly bewildered but he did as Snape requested and returned to his common room.
Ron was sitting alone in the common room when Harry arrived.
"Hey, mate, where've you been?"
"With Sirius," Harry said in a tired voice.
"What's wrong?"
"I take it you haven't read the Daily Prophet yet...where's Hermione?"
"In the library I think, don't know really. What was in the Daily Prophet?"
Harry swallowed hard and said in a very tight voice, "Azkaban has been taken over by the deatheaters. No one knows yet what's happened to Remus, or what's going to happen to him."
"Bloody Hell," Ron muttered. "What are they doing to find him?"
"We just talked to Dumbledore, he's on his way to find him now. He's going to take whatever's left of him back here."
Ron looked down, he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry Harry."
"Me too."
"Do you want to do something to take your mind off it...until you know what's going to come of it."
Harry nodded and said, "Lets play chess."
They began a game and Harry's mind finally stopped worrying, until Ron noticed how red Harry's forehead was.
"Your forehead's all red, mate," he said, reaching a finger out to touch his scar.
Harry immediately clapped a hand over it. He didn't want Ron to see what he had to see. Ron understood Harry enough, he didn't need further depth into his world.
"You don't want to touch that, Ron."
"Why?"
"I don't want to explain, just trust me, okay? It's your move."
Ron gave Harry another curious look and turned back to the game. They played all afternoon.
Meanwhile, Dumbledore had just reached what was left of Azkaban. A wall was blown out on one side of the fortress, and the bodies of a few dead prisoners lay in the ruins. Dumbledore ventured forth and looked at each of the dead bodies, there weren't many dead, and Remus, thankfully wasn't one of them. He then searched inside the cells, few were still closed and there were some terrified prisoners contained in a few of them. Again, none of them were Remus.
This confirmed one of Dumbledore's fears. The deatheaters had done something to Remus. He checked a few other things around the ruins of the fortress and then left to explore the area surrounding Azkaban. He searched behind trees, in bushes, but still found no sign of Remus Lupin anywhere, nor any other of the escaped convicts. He had been searching for hours now, and was ready to call it a day. He took a boat back to the mainland and was about to apparate to Hogsmead when he heard the rustle of a bush nearby, followed by a moan of pain. He threw his arm out and pointed his wand in the direction the noise had come from and slowly crept forward.
Pushing aside some brush Dumbledore bent down to peer through the thickets of leaves and what he saw threw him back. There, curled in the fetal position was one, Remus Lupin. Remus's eyes were dark, his skin filthy and cut up in many places. He was shaking like mad, though the weather was still very warm. Remus stared at Dumbledore, almost in fear, as though he didn't remember him at all. Soon, however, recognition showed in his face and he opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a scratchy sound.
"Mr. Lupin! Thank heavens I've found you! Have no fear, I'll take you to the castle immediately. It's all over Remus, you have nothing to worry about anymore."
Remus nodded slowly and looked like he was trying to get up, but failed miserably. Dumbledore crept deeper into the bushes and grabbed Remus under the arms and dragged his very light frame out, being careful not to injure him further. Dumbledore made sure he had a firm grip and did something he rarely liked to do, apparated himself and Remus to Hogsmead. It was very dangerous to do this, as the risk of splinching was much greater, but the situation was dire.
The two made it safely to Hogsmead, where Dumbledore conjured a stretcher and placed Remus on it. Dumbledore was strong for his age, but not strong enough to carry a full grown man that distance. He levitated Remus up to the castle and directly to the hospital wing.
Madam Pomfrey hurried over to him and was in a near panic as she checked all of his vital signs. All of them were there, but not in good condition. His pulse was very slow, and his blood pressure was way below the norm. Pomfrey was worried.
She managed to get him stabilized and told Dumbledore that he was in critical condition. The next 24 hours would tell them what they all wanted to know. Pomfrey did everything she could for him and then gave him a sleeping potion so he could have his first peaceful sleep in a very long time.
Once Dumbledore had some good information, he went to report his findings to Sirius. He walked speedily to Sirius's room and knocked loudly on the door.
It took a while, but Sirius finally came to the door. Dumbledore knew instantly that he had just woken up, as his hair was disheveled and there were pillow wrinkles on his face. At seeing Dumbledore, however, he was instantly awake.
"What happened?" Sirius asked immediately.
"I found him."
"You-you found him? That's great! Is he okay?"
Dumbledore shook his head. "He's in pretty bad shape, Sirius. Madam Pomfrey has examined him and said he's in critical condition. The next 24 hours will be crucial. It's really up to him if he wants to survive."
"Oh God...he has to live! Can I see him?"
"He's sleeping right now, under a potion, but I'm sure he'd like visitors when he wakes. Why don't you get Harry first and then head to the hospital wing together."
Sirius nodded, "Thanks Albus, for finding him."
"Not a problem Sirius, of course."
Dumbledore then turned and left the room. Sirius threw on some nicer clothes and headed for the Gryffindor common room. Harry was playing exploding snap with Ron and a few other boys from his year. He instantly spotted Sirius and put his cards down and approached his godfather.
"Did they...?" Harry began.
"Yeah, Dumbledore found Remus. He's here in the castle."
"That's awesome!" Harry exclaimed.
"Not that awesome, Harry. Dumbledore says he's in really bad shape and may not make it through the next 24 hours."
The happy smile on Harry's face immediately disappeared.
"Can we go see him?"
Sirius nodded, "I just wanted to grab you first. Lets go."
"Okay, just a second," Harry said before telling his friends he was done playing.
They all asked why and Harry said, "There's someone I need to visit," and left the room with Sirius.
Ron knew who the person Harry going to visit was, but thought it best not to tell the others. Dumbledore was probably going to keep it on the lowdown.
Harry and Sirius walked quickly through the halls until they reached the door to the hospital wing. "Got to be really quiet, Harry, or Pomfrey will kick us out."
"I know, I've seen it done many times."
"Okay," Sirius said darkly and pushed open the door. He walked straight to Pomfrey's desk and asked her where Remus was. It took no coaxing for once, and she pointed him right in the direction of Remus's bed.
Before she let Sirius go, however, she said, "I have him in a coma-like sleep. He won't respond or anything, but he can still hear you and may be able to process things you say. Tell him words of encouragement. Maybe you'll even bring him back to consciousness if you talk to him long enough."
Sirius nodded and they headed for the bed. They slipped under the curtains and had the first glimpse of Remus that they had seen in a few months. Saying he looked awful was an understatement. Remus looked like death itself. His entire head looked swollen, while the rest of his body was extremely thin and bony. Bruises covered him all over, and there were scars where cuts had been healed. Sirius's heart caught in his throat at the sight of his best friend. Harry was speechless. They both pulled up chairs next to Remus. Sirius grabbed one of Remus's hands, and one of Harry's.
"Moony, buddy, we're here for you, me and Harry. We're so happy you're here Moony, you can't even begin to know. We were so worried, both when you were in Azkaban and when it was attacked. But now you're here, safe, but we're still worried. Moony, fight, don't die, fight for your life, you can do it, and we'll help you. Don't let it be the end." Tears were forming in Sirius's eyes as he spoke. Remus showed no sign that he heard a word of what Sirius was saying, and that upset Sirius even more.
His voice cracked on and off as he continued talking, "You're my brother Moony, you always have been, ever since our first year at Hogwarts, I considered you my brother. And when my real family died, you, you and James and Lily became my family. And when they died, you were it. The whole time I was in Azkaban, I missed two people, you and little Harry. And now, today the two of you are my family. More so than Sorai, she's my family by blood, and I love her, but you-you and Harry are my real family. Don't leave me and Harry, Rem. We need you so much, and we miss you. Fight."
That was all Sirius could say as he began sobbing with worry. He released both Harry's and Remus's hands and buried his face in his own at the edge of Remus's bed. Harry stood and walked to the other side of the bed and sat on the edge of it. He grabbed hold of one of Remus's withered hands and examined it closely, not saying a word. He then examined the rest of Remus's arm as well. He found that it was almost deteriorating, and the bone was all he could really feel.
Harry sat there for a while in complete silence until Sirius had somehow managed to cry himself asleep, then Harry began to talk.
"Remus, can-can you hear me?" he began. He got no answer from Remus whatsoever. "Well if you can, there are some things I want to tell you. First, I've missed you so much. It's so great to see you again, even in the condition you're in, but I still miss you. It's like, like your body's here but you're not. I have to see you, really see you one more time Remus, so please, please don't just go. Please don't die. Sirius couldn't take it, it would kill him too. I know it would. I thought it would when you were first sent to jail, but it didn't, he was okay as long as he kept up hope that you'd make it out fine. But, Remus, you're not fine. You're in critical condition. Now, I don't really know what that means, but it's obvious that it's not good, and that there's a good chance you're not going to make it...but you have to. C'mon Remus, you can do it."
Harry didn't really know what else to say, so he started reminiscing. "When you taught here Remus, that was probably the best year of my life. No one really tried to kill me, except the dementors, and I had you around the school. When I first found out you were friends with my dad, I hoped we'd end up like we did. Me getting to know you a lot better, you know. But at the end of that year, I thought it would never happen. First when I thought you were another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who wanted to kill me, and then when you decided to leave, just because you were a werewolf. I don't care that you're a werewolf Remus. You and Sirius have quickly become...like...my two fathers. Something I really needed. I can't thank you enough for that, but well, I want to. And I can't thank you if you don't wake up and live Remus! Please wake up, wake up and tell me it will all be okay!"
Harry had actually started shouting and tears began streaming down his face. He quickly wiped them away with both his and Remus's hand, as they were connected. He was about to let go of Remus's hand when he realized he had done that, but as he did, it gave his hand a slight pressure.
"Remus?" Harry murmured, looking into his face. Remus's lip twitched slightly and his eyes squinted tightly. Then he relaxed his face and slowly opened his eyes. Harry smiled broadly at him.
"Thank God, you're up...how do you feel?" Tears were still streaming down his face, but his voice was clear.
Remus blinked a couple of times and looked at Harry. He lifted his hand and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. Then, he tried to talk, but like earlier all that came out was scratchiness.
"Do you want some water?" Harry asked, thinking it may help.
Remus nodded and Harry jumped off the bed and ran towards the water cooler. He filled a small cup and brought it back to Remus. He carefully tipped the cup up to Remus's lips and poured the water into his mouth in small increments until the water was gone.
Remus then tried to speak again, but was still very scratchy, though this time what he said was intelligible, "Thanks Harry."
"No problem," Harry said, tears still streaming down his face.
"Don't cry Harry, don't cry for me."
"I won't if you say you'll be okay, will you?"
Remus stared deeply into Harry's eyes and sighed deeply, "I'm going to try, after all you and Sirius just said...how could I not even try?"
"You-you heard us? I didn't think you did."
"Yeah, I heard you, you almost had me crying, too." Remus whispered through his hoarse voice. He tried to sit up in bed, but couldn't do it. Harry went and tried to help him. He was shocked to see how easy it was, Remus now weighed less then he did. Once he was sitting up, Remus reached out and pulled Harry into a tight, bony hug. Harry hugged back, but as gently as possible. Harry then helped Remus ease slowly back onto the pillows.
"How do you feel?" Harry asked.
"I don't really feel anything. Just a dull pain...everywhere. It's not so bad though. I just feel...really weak, like I couldn't stand right now if my life depended on it."
Harry nodded and again grabbed a hold of Remus's hand.
"Do-do you think you'll be alright?"
"I think I will...it'll take a while, but I'm not ready to die yet, and I can't leave you and Sirius behind, not like this."
Harry grinned at Remus with his eyes still quite watery.
"Where's Padfoot?" Remus asked.
Harry pointed to the other side of the bed. Remus looked embarrassed, but just smiled anyway. He slowly lifted a hand and plopped it on Sirius's head, it looked like he was aiming for the shoulder. He gently rubbed his hand through Sirius's hair like he was trying to push his head, but didn't have the strength. Luckily, Sirius wasn't sleeping deeply and he woke quickly.
"Moony?" he muttered. Remus nodded his head. Sirius stood up and leaned in to give his best friend a long hug. "Thank God," he whispered, rocking Remus back and forth.
"How are you?"
"Just ducky Sirius," Remus joked, his voice still very hoarse.
Sirius shook his head at the joke, "I'm serious."
"I know you are," he joked again. (Sorry, I had to do that at least once).
"Remus..." Sirius said, tears again welling in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Remus muttered. "Just trying to lighten the mood."
"It's okay, you can do anything you want Rem. But please tell me, really, how are you?"
"I'm not so bad, Sir, I think I'll be fine in the end...it'll be awhile though."
"I missed you so much Rem...a day didn't go by when I didn't think about you...worry about you."
"I always thought about you guys too. Thanks for that letter Sir, it helped more than you'll ever know."
"I thought it would."
"I still have it," Remus said, "It's in my pocket." Remus reached down to get it, but found that he was in a hospital gown and not his old dingy clothes. "Where the hell are my pants?!" Remus yelled as loud as he could, which wasn't that loud.
"Shhh, Moony calm down, I'll go find your pants, okay?" Sirius asked.
Remus nodded and put a hand to his head like he was going to pass out from the stress of not knowing where his pants were, or more importantly his letter. Sirius came back shortly with Remus's pants and tossed them on his lap. Remus sighed in relief and pulled a very ratty piece of paper out of the pocket. It was covered in dirt and the words could barely be read, but Remus had it memorized anyways. All he needed was the faint trace of Sirius's words to make him happy. He folded the letter back up and held on to it tightly.
"So, Moony, physically you say you feel alright, how about mentally?"
Remus couldn't think of a joke to get him out of this one, and he frowned slightly, looking down.
"Rem?" Sirius asked, placing a hand on his friends trembling shoulder.
Remus looked up with sad eyes and muttered, "It was awful Sirius...I think- I think I would have died before December if I had to stay in there. I could feel that I was half way to the loony bin as it was. I lived everyday in so much fear, I probably could have died from that. I'm still scared actually.
I tried to do what you said, Sir, thought of why I didn't deserve to be there, when the dementors were around, and it just didn't help at all. They managed to take that away too."
"You must have been thinking of it as a happy thing Rem, there's nothing you could have done about that."
Remus was quiet for a while as he collected his thoughts, which were many and unpleasant. It looked like he was reliving every thing that happened while he was in Azkaban: all the transformations, the insane words of the others, the deaths of the others, the dementors, everything. Then all of a sudden, he just started sobbing.
Sirius gently pulled Remus into a firm hug, and rocked him as he cried. Remus buried his head in Sirius's shoulder and sobbed in pure anguish.
All the while, Sirius was muttering words of encouragement, telling him it was all over and that he never had to go back. He told him that his life was going to go back to normal now, but he himself wasn't so sure, nor was Remus, apparently.
"You don't know that Padfoot, nobody knows what they're going to do to me now, I never finished my sentence."
"I won't let them take you back to a place like that, Remus, and I don't think Dumbledore will either. Don't worry. Don't worry." Sirius started rocking Remus back and forth slowly until his tears ran dry.
They sat in silence for a while and then Remus asked, "What's new with you guys?"
Sirius smiled and replied, "I'm teaching."
Remus did a double take making both Harry and Sirius laugh. "Yeah, there was an incident in Hogsmead the day we arrived and the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was murdered. Dumbledore called on me to fill the spot, and I willingly obliged. I really like it."
"Didn't you tease me incessantly for teaching. Once I trusted you again, that is?"
"Yeah, but now I understand what its like."
"And Harry, what's new with you?"
"Nothing really," Harry replied with a shrug, not wanting to get into the troubles with his scar, at least not yet.
"Nothing really!?" Sirius exclaimed, making Harry flinch. "Being voted quidditch captain is nothing really?"
"Quidditch captain, Harry? Excellent, your father would be so proud."
Harry blushed slightly and then worried that Sirius would bring up the scar thing.
"Harry, it really meant a lot that you came to see me. That definitely helped me carry out some of the harder days."
Harry grinned slightly and gave Remus a tight hug.
They talked for a while more about all that had happened over the months. Both Sirius and Harry leaving out the problems Harry had been having. They would tell him when he was ready to hear it. Around 9:30 Remus started yawning, and blinking much more than usual.
"I think we better leave you to get some rest, Remus. I'm going to fetch Pomfrey first, though, so she can check up on you."
Remus nodded and watched Sirius leave for a moment. Then he turned to Harry.
"Your scar's really red, Harry," he said reaching up to touch it. Harry pulled back and nearly fell off the bed. Remus looked at him curiously, but didn't say anything.
Harry hurried to come up with an explanation. "Yeah, umm, me and Ron were fooling around earlier in the common room and I rubbed it against the rug. It's just a little rug burn, it's a little sore's all."
Remus looked skeptical, but he nodded anyways. He looked ready to ask another question when Madam Pomfrey came bustling in.
"It's time for you two to leave, I need to see to it that this patient is well!"
"We were planning on going Madam Pomfrey, but could you tell us what you think so far?"
"Well, the fact that he's up and talking to you, and has been for so long, says a lot. I think he'll be just fine and may even be able to leave the hospital wing in a day or so."
"Really? That's excellent!" Sirius almost yelled. He gave Remus a big smile and left the curtained area.
Harry gave Remus another hug, said, "Goodnight," and left as well. Sirius was waiting for him in the corridor and put his arm over his shoulder when he was close enough. Sirius walked him back to the Gryffindor common room in silence. When they reached the portrait hole Sirius turned him and placed a hand on both of Harry's shoulders. Harry looked up into his face.
"Are you going to be okay, Harry?"
Harry nodded quickly, almost too quickly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, Sirius, I'm going to be fine."
"I could tell you didn't want to talk to Remus about any of your own problems, Harry. That's okay for now, but he's not going to accept it later on. He'll be able to deal with it, okay?"
Harry nodded, but didn't look so sure.
Sirius sighed, seeing the look on Harry's face and just said, "You know where I am, if you need me."
Harry nodded and Sirius gave him a goodnight hug then walked off down the corridor. Harry sighed deeply to himself and went through the portrait hole. Ron and Hermione were waiting up for him when he arrived.
"How is he?" Ron asked.
Harry shrugged, plopping next to them on a couch. "He was talking and everything, but he looks awful, and he was a little...er...off. He just about went crazy when he couldn't find his pants. I've never seen anyone look as bad as he does though. He looks anorexic and beaten. It's awful."
"Is he going to be alright?" Hermione asked softly.
Again, Harry shrugged, "He thinks so, Pomfrey thinks so, and Sirius thinks so, but I don't think so. I think he'll survive, but I don't think he'll ever be okay." Harry looked like he was going to cry, but didn't. "I'm going to bed, I'm really tired, didn't sleep well last night."
Ron and Hermione said good night to him, but he didn't respond, just walked quickly for the staircase. He didn't respond, because if he had, they would have known how upset he was. They would have been able to tell that he couldn't hold back his tears of worry. When he reached his bed, Harry thought to himself, "So much for not crying at Hogwarts."
He then threw on some pajamas, dried his eyes, and successfully fell asleep. But not for long. After about three hours of sleep Harry woke with a start from another terrible dream of deatheater attacks. This one had been particularly vivid. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep for a long time, but didn't want to go bother Sirius. Thus, Harry laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling. He had finally calmed down a bit until he began seeing the visions with his eyes open. Harry was finally, really scared and hopped out of bed and ran as fast as he could towards Sirius's room. He was almost to the door when he passed out in the middle of the hall. Not to be found until hours later when, one, Severus Snape stepped out of his quarters.
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Did you like it? I had fun with this chapter, though I was in severe pain pretty much the entire time I was writing it. This week, I was on vacation from school, and my best friend and I enlisted three of our guy friends to teach us how to snowboard, we're both skiers. Lets just say that there was a whole lot of falling down, and now we both can hardly move. Thus, I had ample time to work on this story, though I dread getting up from it, because it hurts SOOO bad! Anyway, next chapter will be along shortly, don't know when, but I promise not to leave you guys hanging ever again! You deserve more than that, especially if you review!!!!