I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long, and I'm amazed at the number
of reviews! I figured that this chapter would be what would push me over
400, but you guys managed to give me enough on the last one, that made me
so happy! Now, March is a busy month for me, so bear with me! I've been
working on this one steadily for a while now, and am quite glad it's done!
When I read over the first half, I find it hard to believe that I haven't
updated it yet, it feels like I wrote that part ages ago! Anyway, no
review reviews because I just can't find the time to do them as well as
right the chapters, you understand right? Trust me, it doesn't mean that I
don't feel honored by all the reviews. Thanks to each and every one of
you!
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Severus Snape bent down over the collapsed boy in the hallway. It was one o'clock in the morning, and Snape couldn't quite figure out what was going on. He knelt down next to the young boy who he had recently come to have a lot more respect for, and rolled him over onto his back. He was taken aback by what he saw. Harry's scar was bright red, and was pulsating.
"What the...?" Snape wondered aloud and then reached out a long finger to touch it. Like earlier he saw flashes of what deatheaters were doing, but this time the images were far worse than before. The deatheaters were rampaging through busy streets, killing in the most inhumane ways. It was like he was right there in front of it all. He actually dodged out of the way when a curse appeared to be headed straight for him. At that point, Snape removed his finger from Harry's forehead.
"Potter," Snape said loudly, shaking Harry's shoulder. "Potter get up!" Harry didn't budge. Snape sighed and ran a pale hand through his long oily hair. Then, he did the only thing he could think of, and pulled the boy off the floor and into a standing position. He threw one of Harry's arms over his shoulders and half dragged, half carried Harry to Sirius's door. Snape knocked very hard a couple of times, and waited impatiently. He knocked a few more times and finally he heard Sirius moving behind it.
Sirius pulled open the door and just gaped out.
"I believe this belongs to you?"
"Harry...what did you do to him, Snape?!" Sirius yelled angrily, moving backwards so Snape could bring Harry inside.
Snape dragged Harry to the couch and then said, "I didn't do this Black, though there were times where I wished I could have. But those times are over now. I just found him collapsed in the hallway like this. He was very close to here, so I imagine he was coming to find you. Look at his scar."
For once Snape wasn't the least bit interested in fighting with Sirius, he was too curious about the situation to do that. Sirius obeyed and looked closely at the scar, to see it, still pulsating rapidly.
"Oh my...Snape, go get Dumbledore, please!" Sirius yelled. Snape nodded his head quickly and then fled the room.
Sirius whipped out his wand and yelled, "Enervate!" Harry slowly opened his eyes, looking terrified.
"Harry, tell me what's going on? What's wrong? Why were you collapsed in the hallway? Why are you so scared?"
Harry's whole body was shaking by this point, and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug to comfort him, and maybe warm him up.
"Talk to me Harry," Sirius pleaded.
Harry didn't say a word, just continued shaking.
Sirius was again drawn to the throbbing scar. Like Snape, he reached out and touched it. He was shocked by what he saw. The damage the deatheaters were doing had worsened tenfold. It was no wonder why Harry looked so scared. Sirius couldn't take anymore, so he removed his fingers and just rocked Harry in a hug until Snape returned with Dumbledore.
"What's going on here, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked.
Sirius shook his head, "I don't know, I got him to wake up, but he won't talk to me, he just looks so scared."
Dumbledore came and sat with Sirius and Harry on the couch, while Snape watched from a distance, ready to be of assistance if necessary. Dumbledore had to practically pry Harry from Sirius's grasp and examined Harry carefully.
"What's happening with his scar?" Dumbledore asked.
"I don't know. I was going to tell you about this yesterday, but the Azkaban thing got in the way. I just found out, but Harry's been having visions of deatheater attacks for months now. They're getting really bad. I can see them if I touch his scar. It's awful. I can't imagine what it must be like for him, seeing that everyday. It looks like it's finally taken a toll on him."
"Indeed," Dumbledore said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. He then reached out and gently touched the throbbing scar as well. He watched the flashes for a good two minutes before he felt the need to pull his finger away.
"Dear God," he muttered. Sirius nodded his agreement with the statement.
"This all seems to happen at once, doesn't it? This problem, Azkaban being disenabled, Hagrid off with the giants..."
"We're sorry Dumbledore, but we thought we should come to you," Sirius said, slightly confused by what Dumbledore was trying to say.
"Yes, and I'm glad you did, but I'm afraid, Sirius, there is nothing we can do about it just yet. I'll need to do a bit of research. You might want to as well. Severus, may I ask you to try to find a potion that may make it easier on him as well?" Dumbledore said this carefully, remembering the feud they had had over the boy just the other night.
Snape quickly and eagerly agreed, surprising Dumbledore and Sirius. Snape then left the room hurriedly.
"In the meantime, Sirius, just try to get through to him, try to make him talk, or sleep if you can get him to calmly. Just be there for him. I'll have someone cover your classes tomorrow, and I think it goes without saying that he'll be excused from classes."
Sirius nodded. "Thank you, Albus."
"I'm sorry I can't be of more assistance."
Sirius just shrugged and said goodnight. Dumbledore then left the room.
Turning his attention back to Harry, Sirius noticed that he had gone into something of a trance, he was blinking rapidly.
"Harry! What's going on?!" Sirius yelled, shaking him slightly. Harry stopped blinking, looked directly into Sirius's face and tears began streaming down his cheeks. Sirius hugged him tight again and rocked him back and forth.
"Please talk to me, Harry, please." Sirius repeated over and over again.
For a while, Harry didn't, but once his tears ran dry he did. "I'm so scared," he whispered.
"Why, Harry? Why are you scared?"
"What I see, I can't escape it anymore Sirius. It used to be that it went away when I had my eyes open. I only saw these...awful things when my eyes were closed, but now...now they never disappear. I see them with my eyes open, I see them now."
"Oh God, Harry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could make them go away."
"Yeah, but you can't," Harry muttered bitterly.
"No, I can't," Sirius whispered, like he had failed. They sat for a while, Sirius stroking Harry's hair gently as Harry shook in terror. Innocent person after innocent person dying before his eyes. He was having a very difficult time dealing with it.
"Harry, do you know what made you collapse in the hallway?"
Harry shook his head, "I guess the visions just took a lot out of me, is all. I was running to you, and-and I just collapsed, I really don't know why it happened. But I'm glad Snape brought me here."
"Me too," Sirius said. "Me too. Why don't you try going back to sleep Harry? I know it'll be hard, but it'll help I'm sure."
Harry nodded and shut his eyes. Sirius had an arm around him and slowly rocked him back and forth rhythmically. Slowly Harry seemed to drift off, but at the same time his hand made it up to his head and he began rubbing his scar, hard. Sirius cautiously grabbed hold of Harry's wrist to bring it down, but the action made Harry jump, nearly off the couch. Any sleep Harry was nearing was long gone.
Sirius sighed helplessly and then apologized for scaring Harry, who looked quite embarrassed but still very shaken up. Sirius knew that Harry was not going to be sleeping, at least not well, for a very long time. Thus, he made idle talk to take Harry's mind off of what he was seeing. They talked about the past, Sirius speaking most of the time and Harry simply trying to focus on his voice rather than the images floating before his eyes.
The conversation turned to the future. Sirius teased Harry about one day finding a girl and maybe getting married and having kids. Harry seemed tense about anything concerning the future, but had fun discussing it anyway. He even mentioned his little crush on Cho Chang to Sirius, who told him a story about her from one of his classes. Harry got a little curious as the conversation progressed, and turned the tables on Sirius.
"What about you? Think you'll ever get married?" Harry asked innocently. Sirius had had a brilliant smile on his face as he was finally getting a positive response from Harry, but it disappeared immediately with the question.
"I don't know Harry, I hope so, but we'll have to wait and see," Sirius said bluntly.
"Well, are you looking?" Harry inquired further.
"Harry," Sirius sighed. "I really haven't had time to think about a wife, you know with the trials over the summer and all. I don't think I'm ready to let another person into my life, what with the tragedies, you, Remus and I always seem to get. Maybe when things settle down I'll start looking, but not yet."
Harry nodded but didn't say a word, and they were again left in complete silence, Sirius contemplating his non-existent love life. This wasn't good, however, as it left Harry to concentrate on his visions.
Sirius took no notice of it, however, and just continued thinking, completely lost in his own little world. That is until Harry whispered, "Oh God."
Immediately, Sirius snapped out of it and looked into Harry's contorted face. "What is it bud? What happened?"
A few tears slipped down his face and his lip trembled, "Hagrid." That was all he said, and Sirius knew immediately what must have happened. Harry let his head drop forward and Sirius reached out to hold it up with the palms of his hands. Tears streamed down Harry's face like rain drops and Sirius brushed them away with his thumbs. They continued to fall, and sobs soon followed. Harry was shaking so hard with the sobs that Sirius could no longer hold his head up. He pulled Harry into a tight hug so that Harry's chin rested on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius held one hand over Harry's back firmly, while the other hand cupped the back of his godson's head.
Sirius didn't say a word to Harry, just continued to hold him as he cried, occasionally stroking Harry's hair for comfort. He was upset too, but tried his hardest to keep his grief inside for the time being, for Harry. Over the couple of months that Sirius had been teaching he had gotten close to Hagrid again, like when he was at school. He couldn't believe Hagrid was really gone. Dumbledore had said earlier that Hagrid had just gone to Giant country, probably to try to convince them to join the light side, the dark must have gotten in the way.
After a good fifteen minutes of crying Harry's sobs slowed and he just made small whimpering sounds every now and then. Sirius pushed Harry away gently and looked him in the face. Harry looked positively miserable. His face was streaked with tears that had finally stopped flowing. Sirius again used his thumbs to wipe all the tears away.
"Harry, buddy, I know you're not going to want to, but I need you to tell me exactly what you saw." Sirius said gently.
Harry nodded sadly and leaned back into the couch. "Hagrid, he...he was just walking down some dirt road...somewhere. Deatheaters surrounded him. They tortured him for a bit...with-with Cruciatus. Then one of them-he-he- he did the Avada Kadavra." Harry's lips began to tremble again, but he didn't let another tear fall.
Sirius rested a hand on Harry's shoulder as Harry replayed the tragic event in his mind. Harry continued to look sad for a while, but the look soon changed. First he looked a little scared and worried and then he looked disgusted.
"I'm going to be sick," he muttered, before his whole face flinched and he dry heaved once. Sirius acted fast and grabbed a bowl he had used a couple of nights ago for popcorn. He emptied the contents onto the floor and set it directly in front of Harry, just in time. Harry vomited into the bowl until there was nothing left in him.
The two sat in silence for a moment, Harry staring into the mess inside the bowl.
"Harry...what made you sick?"
"Some-someone just-just got g-gutted, Sirius. It was so disgusting...I- I've never seen anything like that." Tears again formed in his eyes. This was turning out to be the worst day Harry had ever experienced. Worse than the torture he had been through at the Dursleys, worse than the many times he had almost died. This just took the cake and Harry again couldn't help but fall apart.
Sirius took the bowl of vomit and set it on a table near by before embracing Harry yet again and rocking him back and forth.
"Make it stop, Sirius. Please make it stop," Harry whispered.
"I'll try buddy, I'll try. Dumbledore's trying too, and even Snape. It'll get better soon Harry. It has to."
Harry nodded gently and continued to cry. When his tears again ran dry, Sirius didn't immediately let Harry go. Rather, he bent his head down so it was right next to Harry's ear and he whispered, "We need Dumbledore Harry. We need to tell him everything you just saw today. Alright?"
Harry pulled back and gave Sirius a look that told him flatly that he didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone but Sirius.
"You have to do it Harry."
He looked down and sighed, but then nodded.
"Lets go then," Sirius said rising to his feet. He quickly took care of the bowl of vomit before guiding Harry out of the room. It was still quite early, almost six o'clock, and not a single student, teacher or ghost saw Harry and Sirius as they made there way to Dumbledore's office.
Professor Dumbledore was there when they arrived, sitting at his desk, already researching Harry's case. He let them in immediately and asked what else could have possibly happened since he had last seen them. He looked at Harry's tear swollen eyes and knew that it must be quite serious.
Harry looked down before answering Dumbledore's questions. "You know about- about the visions I've been having, right professor?"
Dumbledore nodded.
"Well, after-after you left I was talking to Sirius, and-and they were still happening, only this time, I knew the person who I saw die."
Dumbledore's jaw dropped, he knew he was in for a tragedy. "Bless my soul, who was it Mr. Potter?"
Harry looked down and took a deep breath. "Hagrid," he whispered in a soft voice.
Dumbledore breathed sharply when he heard that. Tears sprung to his eyes and made them shimmer, but he let none of them fall.
"Are you sure Harry? Absolutely sure?" Dumbledore said edgily.
Harry nodded and pursed his lips, trying to prevent his tears to fall again as well.
"I thank you for bringing me this information. I'll need some time to deal with the consequences of such matters," Dumbledore informed them in a strong voice. Harry knew it was just an act though. Professor Dumbledore loved Hagrid like a brother, anyone could see that. He wanted time alone to grieve, and Harry for one was more than willing to let him have that time. Seeing the headmaster cry would not do Harry one bit of good.
Sirius and Harry both stood and left the room.
"Do you want to go back to my room and try to sleep, Harry, or do you want to go visit Remus?"
"Visit Remus," Harry said without a second thought. The two walked quickly to the hospital wing where they found Remus already up and having a bit of an argument with Madam Pomfrey.
"Mr. Lupin! You can't get out of bed! You haven't the strength!"
"Poppy, I've had to go to the bathroom in very indecent ways for over three months, now I'm not going to go in your little 'bed pan', you can just forget that!" Remus tried to yell this, but his voice was still extremely hoarse and it was more like an angry whisper.
Madam Pomfrey was about to argue back but Sirius cut in.
"Rem, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go walking around. You're not strong enough."
"Sirius," Remus sighed. "I can do it, I'll be fine, I'm not going in that thing!"
"Rem, you're never going to get better if you don't learn to cooperate, trust me, listen to Madam Pomfrey."
"No, Sirius, don't you understand?" Remus whispered. "You know what it's like, I'm out, I want to do things the normal way now." There were tears of frustration and embarrassment in his eyes.
Sirius sighed as he looked at his friend. He turned to the nurse, "What if I help him?"
She shrugged in utter annoyance, if her patients weren't going to listen to her she could care less what they did.
Before he dealt with Remus he turned to Harry who still looked very upset. "Sit tight bud, I'll take care of Moony and then the three of us will have a nice long talk."
Harry nodded and started gnawing on his bottom lip. He watched as Sirius pulled back Remus's blankets and slid his legs over the side of the bed. He pulled Remus up into a sitting position and dragged one of Remus's arms over his shoulder. He then pulled Remus to his feet.
Immediately Remus swayed and almost fell flat on his face, but Sirius managed to keep him standing. Sirius wrapped one arm strongly around Remus's frail waist and took slow steps so Remus could keep up. Remus was extremely wobbly, but they eventually made it to the small bathroom. Sirius helped Remus through everything and then repeated the process to bring him back to his bed.
Once he was settled back in bed, Remus beamed at Sirius and said, "Thank you, Sirius, I just couldn't do it the other way, you know."
Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I know."
Remus was grinning like mad, but soon realized he was the only one. Sirius was actually quite surprised that Remus seemed so happy so soon after Azkaban, he was doing remarkably well. But after the previous night Sirius couldn't bring himself to be as happy as his friend.
"What's wrong with you guys? And what are you doing up at this time? I don't know what time it is, but I know it's pretty early..."
Sirius sighed deeply and looked at Harry pointedly, an expression telling Harry that he was going to tell Remus everything. Harry nodded sadly and looked at his hands.
"It's time for us to tell you what's been going on. We've told you the good, now it's time for the bad. Are you ready for it?" Sirius asked in a very stern voice, sounding like he was in teacher mode.
Remus looked worried, but nodded his head anyway. Sirius sat on the edge of Remus's bed and motioned for Harry to come over as well. Remus squeezed Harry's hand when he reached him. Harry smiled at him, but it wasn't as warm a smile as it usually was, and this alone worried Remus. He immediately looked to Sirius for the answer.
"So far you know that I'm a teacher now and Harry's quidditch captain. Sounds like life's all honky-dory, huh?"
Remus nodded and Sirius shook his head.
"It's not Rem."
"Why?" Remus whispered.
Sirius sighed. "Since...how long, Harry? Before you even left Rem, Harry's been having visions of what Voldemort has been doing. I just found out a couple of days ago, they're just now getting much worse. Harry can't escape this, and starting tonight he's had to see them even when his eyes are wide open."
Remus looked at Harry shocked and shakily squeezed Harry's hand again. Harry just looked at him with sad eyes.
"Is that all?" Remus whispered, knowing full well that it wasn't.
Sirius shook his head to confirm this. "Last night, actually this morning, Harry saw, witnessed...he saw deatheaters attack, and kill...Hagrid."
Remus's jaw dropped open and he looked with pity at Harry, who was chewing on his lip hard.
"Harry..." Remus croaked reaching a hand up to put on his shoulder. Harry shook his head and scrunched up his face. He couldn't help it though, and he started to cry for the umpteenth time that morning. Remus had a hard time, but he managed to get his feeble arms around Harry and he managed to pull him against him in a soft hug. Sirius rubbed Harry's back for comfort as well. The three sat like that for a while until Harry's tears finally stopped again.
Remus released him and then Sirius took him by the shoulders. Harry looked into his face with pure misery and Sirius shook his head. "It's time for you to finally get some rest, buddy."
"How?" Harry muttered.
"We'll see. Harry you stay with Remus, I'll be right back." Harry nodded sadly and watched Sirius until he disappeared from sight. He turned his attention back to Remus who was looking at him with pity, this made Harry sigh deeply. Remus just got out of Azkaban, Harry should be pitying him, not vice versa.
Luckily, Sirius came back quickly with a glass filled with some kind of fluid.
Harry looked at him curiously.
"Dreamless sleep potion Harry. You'll still see everything, I imagine, you just won't know you're seeing it. Or I hope that's how it'll work. You willing to try it?"
Harry nodded eagerly. Truth was he couldn't remember a time when he was that tired.
Sirius motioned for Harry to get on to the bed next to Remus's and Harry followed his orders. Sirius tucked the blankets around him and then helped him down the potion. Harry was asleep in moments. Sirius stood there for a while stroking Harry's hair so it lay flat for a few seconds before springing up again and then turned back to his best friend.
"So," Remus mumbled, "Is that all I should know?"
"Pretty much. We've been doing really well until about a week ago, then there was what we just told you and a couple run ins with Snape."
"What kind of run ins with Snape?"
"Same as the past years, just a bit worse. But something happened between those two, I think. Snape found Harry passed out in the hallway and rather than giving him a detention and taking away points he brought Harry to me, and has even offered to help get him better."
"Really?" Remus muttered.
Sirius nodded. And then shook his head, as if he had just remembered his manners. "How are you feeling, Rem? Are you going to be alright?"
Remus nodded. "I'm feeling much better, until I think about Azkaban, and now all this...but I think I'll be just fine, Pomfrey said she may let me out in a couple of days, so long as I'm under somebody's 'supervision'."
"I'll be your supervisor Moony," Sirius joked.
"Thanks Sir," Remus whispered sincerely. He then yawned very deeply
"You tired?"
Remus shook his head. "I want to know everything."
"What do you mean?"
"Everything, tell me everything that's happened. How did Harry get so good at walking again? What did you guys do the rest of the summer? How's that dog I got for Harry, what's his name?"
Sirius smiled, time to relive the good stuff. A couple of hours and many laughs later Sirius had relayed nearly all the events of the summer to Remus. Sirius thought it was all going to end happily like that, but he was of course, very wrong.
For a while Remus held a steady, wide smile, but slowly the smile faded into a frown, and then a grimace like he was in pain.
"Hey, Moony, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, noticing the sudden changes.
Remus shrugged, but there were tears in his eyes. "It's just-I missed it all. You and Harry went through so much, you bonded, and I missed it." His voice was tight as he said this.
Sirius nodded and tried to think of what the best thing to say was. He decided on the truth. "You're right, Moony, you did miss it all. But its not like you'll never be able to make it up. You have the rest of your life and his life to make up for the time you've missed. I don't think you missed anything critical."
Remus nodded but looked skeptical and still very upset.
"Moony, trust me, everything's going to be fine."
Again Remus nodded and then swallowed hard.
Sirius knew tears were inevitable, so he pulled Remus into his arms before they started flowing. Remus lowered his head to Sirius's shoulder and let it loose.
"It's okay, Moony, let it out. You're going to be fine, I'll be sure of that. Nothings going to happen to you, or me, or Harry. We're going to all be happy again, like we were for a while over the summer. You'll see, it will all work out in the end. I promise Moony."
Remus just shook his head in disagreement. "It won't be okay, Sirius, it won't. I'm never going to be right again...never. I can feel it. Already...everything I do I have fear about doing, and I don't even do anything! I feel like I'm-like I'm insane Sirius. What good am I to anyone insane?"
"You're not insane Rem, you're not. You're talking to me right now like any person who had just come out of Azkaban would talk. You'll be back to normal in no time. Stop doubting yourself."
"There's nothing left to feel but doubt in this world," Remus whispered in the most depressed voice Sirius had ever heard.
"Yes there is Remus, there's always hope. Always. Don't give up on hope," Sirius said eagerly, trying to get through to his friend. Remus didn't respond again, he just continued to cry on his best friend's shoulder. Sirius wasn't sure when Remus stopped crying, as it took so long, but eventually, Remus's quiet voice said, "You never answered one question, Sir."
"What's that Moony?"
"What about the puppy?"
Sirius pulled away from Remus and looked squarely at him, a small smile dancing across his face. "That dog quickly became a vital part of our little family. You couldn't have thought of a better gift, Rem."
"So Harry liked...likes him?"
Sirius nodded, "and I do too."
"What's his name?" Remus asked.
"Well, Harry wanted the dog to be a constant reminder of you, so he decided to name him after you, but not your first name, or your last. He picked your middle name, before he really knew what it was. The dogs name is James, but we call him J, just like you always say J instead of James when you tell your real name."
Remus was now smiling contently. Sirius punched him lightly on the arm and said quietly, "You're looking tired Moony, why don't you get some rest."
"I guess you're right, I am tired. Are you going to stay here?"
Sirius nodded. "I may even try to get a little rest myself, and that would never happen back in my room, worrying about the two of you."
Remus closed his eyes and nodded slightly. Sirius pulled up the blankets on his friend and sat watching him drift off for a while. He was about to go take a bed next to Harry's when Dumbledore approached. Sirius sighed deeply, knowing full well that nothing about this talk was going to be enjoyable.
"How are they Sirius?"
"There both okay, I guess, considering. Harry's going to take a while, but I think Remus will be back on his feet in no time. I just wonder-what's going to happen to him Albus? He was sentenced to a term in Azkaban, and he didn't finish it. What are they going to do with him?"
Dumbledore sighed and said, "Something I have often wondered myself. For now, I have contacted the ministry and told them that Remus is here, and will be guarded carefully. I have a feeling I'll be able to get him off, he has nothing more to worry about, except getting well again."
"Good," Sirius muttered. He glanced at Albus curiously and then asked the other thing that was on his mind. "Have you heard anything more on Hagrid?"
Dumbledore visibly tensed, and Sirius almost regretted having asked that question, but curiosity had gotten the better of him.
"What Harry saw did indeed really happen. A wizard came across Hagrid's body earlier today. He's gone."
Sirius nodded sadly. "He was a good man, it's too bad everything has to end this way."
Dumbledore looked up sharply. "Everything is not going to end this way, Sirius. Things ARE going to get better. I'll make them better, or die trying."
Sirius nodded grimly. "Me too."
"Glad to see I'm not alone in this."
Sirius nodded again, but remained silent.
"I just came by to check on these two, and will go tend to business. The school needs to know that Hagrid's gone, and I must set out to find a new Care of Magical Creatures professor."
Dumbledore's voice was strong, but it dripped with sadness. Sirius truly couldn't figure out how Dumbledore could remain as calm and strong as he was being now. He watched as Dumbledore swiftly left the room, just as stately as he had entered it.
Sirius shook his head with a sigh and slumped into a chair between Remus's and Harry's beds. He ran a hand through his thick black hair and then dropped his wide open hand over his face. For a while he sat like that, absolutely still and then he slowly rubbed his face, trying to rub away all the stress he felt. It took every fiber of strength in Sirius not to break down like a baby, as it felt like the world was on his shoulders, but he managed to resist it. He needed to stay strong. For Harry, Remus and even Dumbledore, Sirius needed to be a rock. Because, for some unknown reason everyone needed Sirius's help.
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Cheesy ending, huh? Next chappy there will be a funeral, and then the action starts happening. Real action, not just sadness, I swear. This means the stories nearing its end, and I will decide then whether or not to make a sequel. Would it really make sense to do so with the new book coming out so soon? Give me your thoughts, please, on that and this chapter.
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Severus Snape bent down over the collapsed boy in the hallway. It was one o'clock in the morning, and Snape couldn't quite figure out what was going on. He knelt down next to the young boy who he had recently come to have a lot more respect for, and rolled him over onto his back. He was taken aback by what he saw. Harry's scar was bright red, and was pulsating.
"What the...?" Snape wondered aloud and then reached out a long finger to touch it. Like earlier he saw flashes of what deatheaters were doing, but this time the images were far worse than before. The deatheaters were rampaging through busy streets, killing in the most inhumane ways. It was like he was right there in front of it all. He actually dodged out of the way when a curse appeared to be headed straight for him. At that point, Snape removed his finger from Harry's forehead.
"Potter," Snape said loudly, shaking Harry's shoulder. "Potter get up!" Harry didn't budge. Snape sighed and ran a pale hand through his long oily hair. Then, he did the only thing he could think of, and pulled the boy off the floor and into a standing position. He threw one of Harry's arms over his shoulders and half dragged, half carried Harry to Sirius's door. Snape knocked very hard a couple of times, and waited impatiently. He knocked a few more times and finally he heard Sirius moving behind it.
Sirius pulled open the door and just gaped out.
"I believe this belongs to you?"
"Harry...what did you do to him, Snape?!" Sirius yelled angrily, moving backwards so Snape could bring Harry inside.
Snape dragged Harry to the couch and then said, "I didn't do this Black, though there were times where I wished I could have. But those times are over now. I just found him collapsed in the hallway like this. He was very close to here, so I imagine he was coming to find you. Look at his scar."
For once Snape wasn't the least bit interested in fighting with Sirius, he was too curious about the situation to do that. Sirius obeyed and looked closely at the scar, to see it, still pulsating rapidly.
"Oh my...Snape, go get Dumbledore, please!" Sirius yelled. Snape nodded his head quickly and then fled the room.
Sirius whipped out his wand and yelled, "Enervate!" Harry slowly opened his eyes, looking terrified.
"Harry, tell me what's going on? What's wrong? Why were you collapsed in the hallway? Why are you so scared?"
Harry's whole body was shaking by this point, and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug to comfort him, and maybe warm him up.
"Talk to me Harry," Sirius pleaded.
Harry didn't say a word, just continued shaking.
Sirius was again drawn to the throbbing scar. Like Snape, he reached out and touched it. He was shocked by what he saw. The damage the deatheaters were doing had worsened tenfold. It was no wonder why Harry looked so scared. Sirius couldn't take anymore, so he removed his fingers and just rocked Harry in a hug until Snape returned with Dumbledore.
"What's going on here, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked.
Sirius shook his head, "I don't know, I got him to wake up, but he won't talk to me, he just looks so scared."
Dumbledore came and sat with Sirius and Harry on the couch, while Snape watched from a distance, ready to be of assistance if necessary. Dumbledore had to practically pry Harry from Sirius's grasp and examined Harry carefully.
"What's happening with his scar?" Dumbledore asked.
"I don't know. I was going to tell you about this yesterday, but the Azkaban thing got in the way. I just found out, but Harry's been having visions of deatheater attacks for months now. They're getting really bad. I can see them if I touch his scar. It's awful. I can't imagine what it must be like for him, seeing that everyday. It looks like it's finally taken a toll on him."
"Indeed," Dumbledore said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. He then reached out and gently touched the throbbing scar as well. He watched the flashes for a good two minutes before he felt the need to pull his finger away.
"Dear God," he muttered. Sirius nodded his agreement with the statement.
"This all seems to happen at once, doesn't it? This problem, Azkaban being disenabled, Hagrid off with the giants..."
"We're sorry Dumbledore, but we thought we should come to you," Sirius said, slightly confused by what Dumbledore was trying to say.
"Yes, and I'm glad you did, but I'm afraid, Sirius, there is nothing we can do about it just yet. I'll need to do a bit of research. You might want to as well. Severus, may I ask you to try to find a potion that may make it easier on him as well?" Dumbledore said this carefully, remembering the feud they had had over the boy just the other night.
Snape quickly and eagerly agreed, surprising Dumbledore and Sirius. Snape then left the room hurriedly.
"In the meantime, Sirius, just try to get through to him, try to make him talk, or sleep if you can get him to calmly. Just be there for him. I'll have someone cover your classes tomorrow, and I think it goes without saying that he'll be excused from classes."
Sirius nodded. "Thank you, Albus."
"I'm sorry I can't be of more assistance."
Sirius just shrugged and said goodnight. Dumbledore then left the room.
Turning his attention back to Harry, Sirius noticed that he had gone into something of a trance, he was blinking rapidly.
"Harry! What's going on?!" Sirius yelled, shaking him slightly. Harry stopped blinking, looked directly into Sirius's face and tears began streaming down his cheeks. Sirius hugged him tight again and rocked him back and forth.
"Please talk to me, Harry, please." Sirius repeated over and over again.
For a while, Harry didn't, but once his tears ran dry he did. "I'm so scared," he whispered.
"Why, Harry? Why are you scared?"
"What I see, I can't escape it anymore Sirius. It used to be that it went away when I had my eyes open. I only saw these...awful things when my eyes were closed, but now...now they never disappear. I see them with my eyes open, I see them now."
"Oh God, Harry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could make them go away."
"Yeah, but you can't," Harry muttered bitterly.
"No, I can't," Sirius whispered, like he had failed. They sat for a while, Sirius stroking Harry's hair gently as Harry shook in terror. Innocent person after innocent person dying before his eyes. He was having a very difficult time dealing with it.
"Harry, do you know what made you collapse in the hallway?"
Harry shook his head, "I guess the visions just took a lot out of me, is all. I was running to you, and-and I just collapsed, I really don't know why it happened. But I'm glad Snape brought me here."
"Me too," Sirius said. "Me too. Why don't you try going back to sleep Harry? I know it'll be hard, but it'll help I'm sure."
Harry nodded and shut his eyes. Sirius had an arm around him and slowly rocked him back and forth rhythmically. Slowly Harry seemed to drift off, but at the same time his hand made it up to his head and he began rubbing his scar, hard. Sirius cautiously grabbed hold of Harry's wrist to bring it down, but the action made Harry jump, nearly off the couch. Any sleep Harry was nearing was long gone.
Sirius sighed helplessly and then apologized for scaring Harry, who looked quite embarrassed but still very shaken up. Sirius knew that Harry was not going to be sleeping, at least not well, for a very long time. Thus, he made idle talk to take Harry's mind off of what he was seeing. They talked about the past, Sirius speaking most of the time and Harry simply trying to focus on his voice rather than the images floating before his eyes.
The conversation turned to the future. Sirius teased Harry about one day finding a girl and maybe getting married and having kids. Harry seemed tense about anything concerning the future, but had fun discussing it anyway. He even mentioned his little crush on Cho Chang to Sirius, who told him a story about her from one of his classes. Harry got a little curious as the conversation progressed, and turned the tables on Sirius.
"What about you? Think you'll ever get married?" Harry asked innocently. Sirius had had a brilliant smile on his face as he was finally getting a positive response from Harry, but it disappeared immediately with the question.
"I don't know Harry, I hope so, but we'll have to wait and see," Sirius said bluntly.
"Well, are you looking?" Harry inquired further.
"Harry," Sirius sighed. "I really haven't had time to think about a wife, you know with the trials over the summer and all. I don't think I'm ready to let another person into my life, what with the tragedies, you, Remus and I always seem to get. Maybe when things settle down I'll start looking, but not yet."
Harry nodded but didn't say a word, and they were again left in complete silence, Sirius contemplating his non-existent love life. This wasn't good, however, as it left Harry to concentrate on his visions.
Sirius took no notice of it, however, and just continued thinking, completely lost in his own little world. That is until Harry whispered, "Oh God."
Immediately, Sirius snapped out of it and looked into Harry's contorted face. "What is it bud? What happened?"
A few tears slipped down his face and his lip trembled, "Hagrid." That was all he said, and Sirius knew immediately what must have happened. Harry let his head drop forward and Sirius reached out to hold it up with the palms of his hands. Tears streamed down Harry's face like rain drops and Sirius brushed them away with his thumbs. They continued to fall, and sobs soon followed. Harry was shaking so hard with the sobs that Sirius could no longer hold his head up. He pulled Harry into a tight hug so that Harry's chin rested on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius held one hand over Harry's back firmly, while the other hand cupped the back of his godson's head.
Sirius didn't say a word to Harry, just continued to hold him as he cried, occasionally stroking Harry's hair for comfort. He was upset too, but tried his hardest to keep his grief inside for the time being, for Harry. Over the couple of months that Sirius had been teaching he had gotten close to Hagrid again, like when he was at school. He couldn't believe Hagrid was really gone. Dumbledore had said earlier that Hagrid had just gone to Giant country, probably to try to convince them to join the light side, the dark must have gotten in the way.
After a good fifteen minutes of crying Harry's sobs slowed and he just made small whimpering sounds every now and then. Sirius pushed Harry away gently and looked him in the face. Harry looked positively miserable. His face was streaked with tears that had finally stopped flowing. Sirius again used his thumbs to wipe all the tears away.
"Harry, buddy, I know you're not going to want to, but I need you to tell me exactly what you saw." Sirius said gently.
Harry nodded sadly and leaned back into the couch. "Hagrid, he...he was just walking down some dirt road...somewhere. Deatheaters surrounded him. They tortured him for a bit...with-with Cruciatus. Then one of them-he-he- he did the Avada Kadavra." Harry's lips began to tremble again, but he didn't let another tear fall.
Sirius rested a hand on Harry's shoulder as Harry replayed the tragic event in his mind. Harry continued to look sad for a while, but the look soon changed. First he looked a little scared and worried and then he looked disgusted.
"I'm going to be sick," he muttered, before his whole face flinched and he dry heaved once. Sirius acted fast and grabbed a bowl he had used a couple of nights ago for popcorn. He emptied the contents onto the floor and set it directly in front of Harry, just in time. Harry vomited into the bowl until there was nothing left in him.
The two sat in silence for a moment, Harry staring into the mess inside the bowl.
"Harry...what made you sick?"
"Some-someone just-just got g-gutted, Sirius. It was so disgusting...I- I've never seen anything like that." Tears again formed in his eyes. This was turning out to be the worst day Harry had ever experienced. Worse than the torture he had been through at the Dursleys, worse than the many times he had almost died. This just took the cake and Harry again couldn't help but fall apart.
Sirius took the bowl of vomit and set it on a table near by before embracing Harry yet again and rocking him back and forth.
"Make it stop, Sirius. Please make it stop," Harry whispered.
"I'll try buddy, I'll try. Dumbledore's trying too, and even Snape. It'll get better soon Harry. It has to."
Harry nodded gently and continued to cry. When his tears again ran dry, Sirius didn't immediately let Harry go. Rather, he bent his head down so it was right next to Harry's ear and he whispered, "We need Dumbledore Harry. We need to tell him everything you just saw today. Alright?"
Harry pulled back and gave Sirius a look that told him flatly that he didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone but Sirius.
"You have to do it Harry."
He looked down and sighed, but then nodded.
"Lets go then," Sirius said rising to his feet. He quickly took care of the bowl of vomit before guiding Harry out of the room. It was still quite early, almost six o'clock, and not a single student, teacher or ghost saw Harry and Sirius as they made there way to Dumbledore's office.
Professor Dumbledore was there when they arrived, sitting at his desk, already researching Harry's case. He let them in immediately and asked what else could have possibly happened since he had last seen them. He looked at Harry's tear swollen eyes and knew that it must be quite serious.
Harry looked down before answering Dumbledore's questions. "You know about- about the visions I've been having, right professor?"
Dumbledore nodded.
"Well, after-after you left I was talking to Sirius, and-and they were still happening, only this time, I knew the person who I saw die."
Dumbledore's jaw dropped, he knew he was in for a tragedy. "Bless my soul, who was it Mr. Potter?"
Harry looked down and took a deep breath. "Hagrid," he whispered in a soft voice.
Dumbledore breathed sharply when he heard that. Tears sprung to his eyes and made them shimmer, but he let none of them fall.
"Are you sure Harry? Absolutely sure?" Dumbledore said edgily.
Harry nodded and pursed his lips, trying to prevent his tears to fall again as well.
"I thank you for bringing me this information. I'll need some time to deal with the consequences of such matters," Dumbledore informed them in a strong voice. Harry knew it was just an act though. Professor Dumbledore loved Hagrid like a brother, anyone could see that. He wanted time alone to grieve, and Harry for one was more than willing to let him have that time. Seeing the headmaster cry would not do Harry one bit of good.
Sirius and Harry both stood and left the room.
"Do you want to go back to my room and try to sleep, Harry, or do you want to go visit Remus?"
"Visit Remus," Harry said without a second thought. The two walked quickly to the hospital wing where they found Remus already up and having a bit of an argument with Madam Pomfrey.
"Mr. Lupin! You can't get out of bed! You haven't the strength!"
"Poppy, I've had to go to the bathroom in very indecent ways for over three months, now I'm not going to go in your little 'bed pan', you can just forget that!" Remus tried to yell this, but his voice was still extremely hoarse and it was more like an angry whisper.
Madam Pomfrey was about to argue back but Sirius cut in.
"Rem, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go walking around. You're not strong enough."
"Sirius," Remus sighed. "I can do it, I'll be fine, I'm not going in that thing!"
"Rem, you're never going to get better if you don't learn to cooperate, trust me, listen to Madam Pomfrey."
"No, Sirius, don't you understand?" Remus whispered. "You know what it's like, I'm out, I want to do things the normal way now." There were tears of frustration and embarrassment in his eyes.
Sirius sighed as he looked at his friend. He turned to the nurse, "What if I help him?"
She shrugged in utter annoyance, if her patients weren't going to listen to her she could care less what they did.
Before he dealt with Remus he turned to Harry who still looked very upset. "Sit tight bud, I'll take care of Moony and then the three of us will have a nice long talk."
Harry nodded and started gnawing on his bottom lip. He watched as Sirius pulled back Remus's blankets and slid his legs over the side of the bed. He pulled Remus up into a sitting position and dragged one of Remus's arms over his shoulder. He then pulled Remus to his feet.
Immediately Remus swayed and almost fell flat on his face, but Sirius managed to keep him standing. Sirius wrapped one arm strongly around Remus's frail waist and took slow steps so Remus could keep up. Remus was extremely wobbly, but they eventually made it to the small bathroom. Sirius helped Remus through everything and then repeated the process to bring him back to his bed.
Once he was settled back in bed, Remus beamed at Sirius and said, "Thank you, Sirius, I just couldn't do it the other way, you know."
Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I know."
Remus was grinning like mad, but soon realized he was the only one. Sirius was actually quite surprised that Remus seemed so happy so soon after Azkaban, he was doing remarkably well. But after the previous night Sirius couldn't bring himself to be as happy as his friend.
"What's wrong with you guys? And what are you doing up at this time? I don't know what time it is, but I know it's pretty early..."
Sirius sighed deeply and looked at Harry pointedly, an expression telling Harry that he was going to tell Remus everything. Harry nodded sadly and looked at his hands.
"It's time for us to tell you what's been going on. We've told you the good, now it's time for the bad. Are you ready for it?" Sirius asked in a very stern voice, sounding like he was in teacher mode.
Remus looked worried, but nodded his head anyway. Sirius sat on the edge of Remus's bed and motioned for Harry to come over as well. Remus squeezed Harry's hand when he reached him. Harry smiled at him, but it wasn't as warm a smile as it usually was, and this alone worried Remus. He immediately looked to Sirius for the answer.
"So far you know that I'm a teacher now and Harry's quidditch captain. Sounds like life's all honky-dory, huh?"
Remus nodded and Sirius shook his head.
"It's not Rem."
"Why?" Remus whispered.
Sirius sighed. "Since...how long, Harry? Before you even left Rem, Harry's been having visions of what Voldemort has been doing. I just found out a couple of days ago, they're just now getting much worse. Harry can't escape this, and starting tonight he's had to see them even when his eyes are wide open."
Remus looked at Harry shocked and shakily squeezed Harry's hand again. Harry just looked at him with sad eyes.
"Is that all?" Remus whispered, knowing full well that it wasn't.
Sirius shook his head to confirm this. "Last night, actually this morning, Harry saw, witnessed...he saw deatheaters attack, and kill...Hagrid."
Remus's jaw dropped open and he looked with pity at Harry, who was chewing on his lip hard.
"Harry..." Remus croaked reaching a hand up to put on his shoulder. Harry shook his head and scrunched up his face. He couldn't help it though, and he started to cry for the umpteenth time that morning. Remus had a hard time, but he managed to get his feeble arms around Harry and he managed to pull him against him in a soft hug. Sirius rubbed Harry's back for comfort as well. The three sat like that for a while until Harry's tears finally stopped again.
Remus released him and then Sirius took him by the shoulders. Harry looked into his face with pure misery and Sirius shook his head. "It's time for you to finally get some rest, buddy."
"How?" Harry muttered.
"We'll see. Harry you stay with Remus, I'll be right back." Harry nodded sadly and watched Sirius until he disappeared from sight. He turned his attention back to Remus who was looking at him with pity, this made Harry sigh deeply. Remus just got out of Azkaban, Harry should be pitying him, not vice versa.
Luckily, Sirius came back quickly with a glass filled with some kind of fluid.
Harry looked at him curiously.
"Dreamless sleep potion Harry. You'll still see everything, I imagine, you just won't know you're seeing it. Or I hope that's how it'll work. You willing to try it?"
Harry nodded eagerly. Truth was he couldn't remember a time when he was that tired.
Sirius motioned for Harry to get on to the bed next to Remus's and Harry followed his orders. Sirius tucked the blankets around him and then helped him down the potion. Harry was asleep in moments. Sirius stood there for a while stroking Harry's hair so it lay flat for a few seconds before springing up again and then turned back to his best friend.
"So," Remus mumbled, "Is that all I should know?"
"Pretty much. We've been doing really well until about a week ago, then there was what we just told you and a couple run ins with Snape."
"What kind of run ins with Snape?"
"Same as the past years, just a bit worse. But something happened between those two, I think. Snape found Harry passed out in the hallway and rather than giving him a detention and taking away points he brought Harry to me, and has even offered to help get him better."
"Really?" Remus muttered.
Sirius nodded. And then shook his head, as if he had just remembered his manners. "How are you feeling, Rem? Are you going to be alright?"
Remus nodded. "I'm feeling much better, until I think about Azkaban, and now all this...but I think I'll be just fine, Pomfrey said she may let me out in a couple of days, so long as I'm under somebody's 'supervision'."
"I'll be your supervisor Moony," Sirius joked.
"Thanks Sir," Remus whispered sincerely. He then yawned very deeply
"You tired?"
Remus shook his head. "I want to know everything."
"What do you mean?"
"Everything, tell me everything that's happened. How did Harry get so good at walking again? What did you guys do the rest of the summer? How's that dog I got for Harry, what's his name?"
Sirius smiled, time to relive the good stuff. A couple of hours and many laughs later Sirius had relayed nearly all the events of the summer to Remus. Sirius thought it was all going to end happily like that, but he was of course, very wrong.
For a while Remus held a steady, wide smile, but slowly the smile faded into a frown, and then a grimace like he was in pain.
"Hey, Moony, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, noticing the sudden changes.
Remus shrugged, but there were tears in his eyes. "It's just-I missed it all. You and Harry went through so much, you bonded, and I missed it." His voice was tight as he said this.
Sirius nodded and tried to think of what the best thing to say was. He decided on the truth. "You're right, Moony, you did miss it all. But its not like you'll never be able to make it up. You have the rest of your life and his life to make up for the time you've missed. I don't think you missed anything critical."
Remus nodded but looked skeptical and still very upset.
"Moony, trust me, everything's going to be fine."
Again Remus nodded and then swallowed hard.
Sirius knew tears were inevitable, so he pulled Remus into his arms before they started flowing. Remus lowered his head to Sirius's shoulder and let it loose.
"It's okay, Moony, let it out. You're going to be fine, I'll be sure of that. Nothings going to happen to you, or me, or Harry. We're going to all be happy again, like we were for a while over the summer. You'll see, it will all work out in the end. I promise Moony."
Remus just shook his head in disagreement. "It won't be okay, Sirius, it won't. I'm never going to be right again...never. I can feel it. Already...everything I do I have fear about doing, and I don't even do anything! I feel like I'm-like I'm insane Sirius. What good am I to anyone insane?"
"You're not insane Rem, you're not. You're talking to me right now like any person who had just come out of Azkaban would talk. You'll be back to normal in no time. Stop doubting yourself."
"There's nothing left to feel but doubt in this world," Remus whispered in the most depressed voice Sirius had ever heard.
"Yes there is Remus, there's always hope. Always. Don't give up on hope," Sirius said eagerly, trying to get through to his friend. Remus didn't respond again, he just continued to cry on his best friend's shoulder. Sirius wasn't sure when Remus stopped crying, as it took so long, but eventually, Remus's quiet voice said, "You never answered one question, Sir."
"What's that Moony?"
"What about the puppy?"
Sirius pulled away from Remus and looked squarely at him, a small smile dancing across his face. "That dog quickly became a vital part of our little family. You couldn't have thought of a better gift, Rem."
"So Harry liked...likes him?"
Sirius nodded, "and I do too."
"What's his name?" Remus asked.
"Well, Harry wanted the dog to be a constant reminder of you, so he decided to name him after you, but not your first name, or your last. He picked your middle name, before he really knew what it was. The dogs name is James, but we call him J, just like you always say J instead of James when you tell your real name."
Remus was now smiling contently. Sirius punched him lightly on the arm and said quietly, "You're looking tired Moony, why don't you get some rest."
"I guess you're right, I am tired. Are you going to stay here?"
Sirius nodded. "I may even try to get a little rest myself, and that would never happen back in my room, worrying about the two of you."
Remus closed his eyes and nodded slightly. Sirius pulled up the blankets on his friend and sat watching him drift off for a while. He was about to go take a bed next to Harry's when Dumbledore approached. Sirius sighed deeply, knowing full well that nothing about this talk was going to be enjoyable.
"How are they Sirius?"
"There both okay, I guess, considering. Harry's going to take a while, but I think Remus will be back on his feet in no time. I just wonder-what's going to happen to him Albus? He was sentenced to a term in Azkaban, and he didn't finish it. What are they going to do with him?"
Dumbledore sighed and said, "Something I have often wondered myself. For now, I have contacted the ministry and told them that Remus is here, and will be guarded carefully. I have a feeling I'll be able to get him off, he has nothing more to worry about, except getting well again."
"Good," Sirius muttered. He glanced at Albus curiously and then asked the other thing that was on his mind. "Have you heard anything more on Hagrid?"
Dumbledore visibly tensed, and Sirius almost regretted having asked that question, but curiosity had gotten the better of him.
"What Harry saw did indeed really happen. A wizard came across Hagrid's body earlier today. He's gone."
Sirius nodded sadly. "He was a good man, it's too bad everything has to end this way."
Dumbledore looked up sharply. "Everything is not going to end this way, Sirius. Things ARE going to get better. I'll make them better, or die trying."
Sirius nodded grimly. "Me too."
"Glad to see I'm not alone in this."
Sirius nodded again, but remained silent.
"I just came by to check on these two, and will go tend to business. The school needs to know that Hagrid's gone, and I must set out to find a new Care of Magical Creatures professor."
Dumbledore's voice was strong, but it dripped with sadness. Sirius truly couldn't figure out how Dumbledore could remain as calm and strong as he was being now. He watched as Dumbledore swiftly left the room, just as stately as he had entered it.
Sirius shook his head with a sigh and slumped into a chair between Remus's and Harry's beds. He ran a hand through his thick black hair and then dropped his wide open hand over his face. For a while he sat like that, absolutely still and then he slowly rubbed his face, trying to rub away all the stress he felt. It took every fiber of strength in Sirius not to break down like a baby, as it felt like the world was on his shoulders, but he managed to resist it. He needed to stay strong. For Harry, Remus and even Dumbledore, Sirius needed to be a rock. Because, for some unknown reason everyone needed Sirius's help.
~~~~
Cheesy ending, huh? Next chappy there will be a funeral, and then the action starts happening. Real action, not just sadness, I swear. This means the stories nearing its end, and I will decide then whether or not to make a sequel. Would it really make sense to do so with the new book coming out so soon? Give me your thoughts, please, on that and this chapter.