Disclaimers: Nothing's changed. The legal stuff can be found in chapter one.
When Living is No Longer Enough… Chapter FourThe following Monday found the potions master back in the dungeons teaching classes and terrorizing students as if nothing had happened. "Ten points from Gryffindor Miss Gavin for being late to class," he bellowed to a young third year student who had the misfortune to enter the classroom two minutes late.
"But Professor Snape I…" the girl began in protest of the punishment but was interrupted by Snape's low snarl.
"Perhaps you would like to make it twenty points and a detention Miss Gavin?" he asked silkily.
"No sir," the girl said softly, settling herself in her seat.
"Now, if we can continue with the matter at hand," the professor said, returning his attention to the class, "Open your books to page 224 where you will find a list of ingredients for today's in-class assignment. Gather your supplies and we will test your potions at the end of class. Begin now."
And so the next several weeks continued with Snape snapping at students, deducting house points and deflecting any concern the staff attempted to show him.
"I am fine Minerva," he said bitingly to the transfigurations teacher one evening during dinner. "And even if I were not, I fail to see how repeatedly hounding me with the same question countless of times would change anything."
"Well," Professor McGonagall huffed, "I was merely asking Severus. There is no need to bite my head off about it."
"Fortunately for the both of us my dear lady, your head is not on this evening's menu," he snarled. Wiping his mouth with his dinner napkin and tossing it on the table in barely controlled fury, he curtly nodded to those present at the High Table and stormed out leaving a very stunned faculty looking after him in bewilderment.
"Well," Professor McGonagall said to the headmaster, "I was only trying to be civil to the man. Really Albus, he becomes more impossible every day."
"There now, Minerva," Dumbledore said soothingly as he patted her hand in a comforting gesture, "I'm sure Severus did not mean to be quite so severe," and redirected the conversation to the upcoming Valentine's party in which all of the teachers began excitedly talking over various ideas for decorations and music.
No one seemed to notice that Hermione had remained quiet after Snape's departure from the Great Hall or how her eyes had remained worriedly fixed on his retreating figure long after he had gone. Nor did they notice how she quietly excused herself before desert was served.
No one that is, except Albus Dumbledore, whose gaze silently followed her out of the Hall, the twinkling light in his eyes dulled with concern.
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"I thought I might find you here," Hermione said softly entering the potions classroom.
"I wouldn't think that to be such a difficult deduction Professor seeing that this is where I spend most of my time," Snape replied, not even bothering to look up from grading papers.
"Perhaps not," she agreed not wanting to pick a fight. The silence between them seemed to stretch on for several minutes. 'He's in a bad mood' she thought to herself marveling at how the man could remain sane while living in a constant state of irritation. 'But this isn't just a bad mood,' a voice in the back of her mind nagged. 'This is something more like… depression? Hopelessness? Despair?' she wondered trying to pinpoint something that seemed to remain just outside of reach and defy explanation.
"Was there a reason for your uninvited visit this evening Professor Granger or do you always make it a habit to drop in on unsuspecting people and silently stare at them?" he asked becoming uncomfortable under her thoughtful gaze. 'Merlin, the woman doesn't have to say anything and I become as nervous as a schoolboy,' he thought to himself. 'Fine, I'll simply remain quiet, she'll tell me what she wants and then she'll leave and I can retreat to my rooms in peace' he told himself. 'Yes, just like you do every night' a mocking voice said from the depths of his mind. 'What harm could it be to visit with her for a while?' the voice reasoned.
"I was wondering how Miss Saunton is doing," she stammered trying to come up with a plausible excuse for her presence. The truth of the matter was that she didn't know why she went in search of him or what she hoped to accomplish with her actions. She merely knew that she wanted to be with him and something inside, a gut instinct if you will, told her that he needed and wanted the same. But what if she was wrong? He was a hard man to read, always keeping his emotions buried under a blade of ice that he expertly wielded to freeze people out and keep them at bay.
Snape finally looked up from grading his papers and fixed her with a stare that seemed to pierce to the core of her soul as if he could sense her thoughts and was daring her to bring them out into the open. "Miss Saunton is still confused as one might expect of a person in her situation. However, thus far, she has managed to avoid pledging her allegiance to Voldemort," he said. Laying the quill down he stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of her. "But somehow, I don't think that is what you came all the way down here to discuss. Is it?"
Hermione looked directly into his eyes and almost gasped at the brief flicker of amusement and warmth she thought she saw. Nervously, she looked down and ran her fingers over the desk that she used to occupy back in her student days. "You know, you used to confuse and terrify me when I was a student," she whispered tracing the cuts and grooves on the desk. "You were always ready to find fault with us and hand out detentions…"
"And now?" he asked almost holding his breath as he waited for her next words.
"I'm no longer terrified," she confessed softly. "I'm still confused but I'm no longer afraid." Reaching out tentatively to touch his arm, she looked up at him and he could see a myriad of emotions playing in her eyes. Uncertainty, confusion, worry and…desire? 'Could it really be?' he thought to himself in disbelief stepping closer and bringing their bodies within inches of one another.
Perhaps it is time to leave the past… in the past.
'Perhaps Albus is right' he thought to himself yet again. Gently taking hold of her arms, he pulled her to him and slowly lowered his mouth to hers. Time stood still, their senses fracturing into a kaleidoscope of feelings, as repressed needs and desires broke free to surface in that one perfect kiss. It was a kiss that seemed to convey what mere words could not. It was a kiss that allowed each to give and take what they so very desperately needed from one another. It was a kiss that was both hesitant and urgent. It was a kiss that, in both Severus and Hermione's minds, took the art of snogging to new and almost unreachable heights.
No sooner had Hermione thought she was going to pass out from the multitude of feelings that were assaulting her senses, not to mention lack of air, she heard a noise just outside the classroom and reluctantly pulled back, never taking her eyes off Severus.
"Professor Snape?" a young girl called out. "Are you in here?"
Using every ounce of willpower that he possessed, Severus stepped away from Hermione. Momentarily cupping her face in his hand, he softly brushed along her cheekbone with long elegant fingers and murmured, "We'll have to continue this discussion another time."
Nodding silently the young witch turned to leave just as Emily Saunton entered the classroom with tears streaming down her face and a crumpled piece of paper held tightly in her hand.
"Am I interrupting something?" Emily asked tearfully as her gaze fell on Snape and Hermione.
"Not at all Emily," Hermione kindly assured the girl while sending a worried glance in Severus' direction. "Professor Snape and I were just finishing our business and I was about to return to my own classroom to finish some grading that I've put off for far too long." So, with a brief nod and smile at both teacher and student, Hermione made her way out of the dungeons and back to the main part of the castle.
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