Disclaimers: Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.
When Living is No Longer EnoughChapter Eighteen
Surprised looks were exchanged between several of the students as they took in the sight of the potions master striding quickly through the castle corridors with the petite charms professor all but running behind him in an attempt to match pace.
"Wait here," Snape told her as they approached the entrance to the Slytherin common room.
"Why? You may need my help…" she argued slightly offended by the briskness of his words.
"Hermione," he interrupted in a tone of voice that left little room for argument "think about this for a moment. We are trying to keep this quiet for now. How would it look if the Head of Slytherin and the charms professor, a Gryffindor at that, were to come racing through the Slytherin common room and the seventh year girl's dormitory looking for Miss Saunton?"
Hermione momentarily closed her eyes and then nodded her head in acceptance as the logic of his words became clear to her. "It would look like something is seriously wrong," she conceded and stepped back to stand against the cold wall just outside of the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories.
"Correct. I will enter the dormitory, under the guise of questioning the girl about a recent assignment if need be, and see if she is there. I'll be back shortly," he told the worried young woman. Turning to face the portrait guarding the dorm's entryway, he quickly muttered the password and disappeared through the portal in a swirl of black cloth.
Walking over to the small group of Slytherins huddled together conversing in front of the over-sized stone fireplace, he stopped to stand in front of them pausing just long enough to be certain he had their undivided attention.
"Has anyone seen Miss Saunton?" he asked in a clipped voice.
The students looked at one another momentarily wondering what their housemate had done that would cause their head of house to personally take it upon himself to track her down.
"Well, don't just sit there gaping at one another," he snapped and drew himself up into his most intimidating stance. "Answer the question."
A tall, brown-haired fifth year student visibly gulped in the face of Snape's harshly spoken words but managed to gather the courage to provide the potions master with the requested information. "She's not here sir and she hasn't come back from her study session for Ancient Runes yet either."
"Are you certain?" Snape asked the boy.
"Yes sir. She is supposed to help Gina and me with a transfiguration assignment when she gets back. That's why we're waiting here sir," the boy replied and Gina Landers' head of blond curls began bobbing up and down in confirmation.
"Thank you. Please tell Miss Saunton that I need to speak with her when she returns," the professor replied not wanting to give too much of the situation away to the students. Sparing a final glance at the Slytherins, he exited the common room wondering where the girl might have gone.
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Hermione felt as if she had been standing outside the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories for hours when the portrait opened to reveal a very grim looking Head of House. "Did you find her?" she asked anxiously as soon as the entryway had closed.
"No, she's not in there. A few of the students expected her back after her study session but she never showed," he answered in clipped tones and his lips thinned into a narrow line. Hermione was now experienced enough to know that the potion's master only wore that particular expression when he was angry or worried and considering the circumstances, she knew he was deeply worried for the young Slytherin who believed suicide was her only option for freedom.
"Where else could she be?" the charms professor questioned as they began walking back toward the main section of the castle.
"I don't know. Mr. Veren said that she wasn't to be found in either the dungeons or the astronomy tower and we now know that she never returned to Slytherin. Considering the size of this bloody castle she could be just about anywhere and we are running out of time. That is, if we aren't too late already," the wizard muttered more to himself than the chestnut haired woman walking next to him.
"Severus, do you remember me telling you about the Marauder's Map?" Hermione asked practically stopping in mid-stride as an idea occurred to her.
"Yes. That infernal parchment of Potter's that shows a person's location in the castle" he acknowledged as he halted his steps to stand beside her.
"Do you still have it?" she asked nervously biting her lower lip and praying that Harry and Ron would forgive her for what she was about to suggest.
"Yes, it's in a cabinet in my office. Hermione, are you suggesting that it might help us locate Miss Saunton?" he asked almost in disbelief.
"Yes, provided that she is within the castle's grounds it should lead us directly to her. That is, if we aren't too late," she mumbled softly as a new thought registered in her mind. "We only used the map to look for people that were living so if Emily has already well… you know… harmed herself…"
"Then her presence may not register on the map," Snape finished for her.
"Yes," she agreed softly.
"Let's go," Severus said and they rushed to the dungeons hoping the map would help them find the girl before it was too late.
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Reaching the dungeons, Snape purposely strode through the potions classroom and into his office. Walking over to the small storeroom at the back of the office, he made a quick pass using his wand to release the wards and proceeded to the wooden cabinet that nestled against the back wall.
"Here it is," he announced pulling an aged piece of blank parchment from the cabinet and handing it to Hermione. "Now, how does it work? I've tried a number of different incantations but they were all useless."
"It's quite simple really," she told him as she carried the parchment to his desk and rolled it out over the desktop. Taking her wand from her sleeve, she mentally sent out a final apology to the Marauder's for the need to reveal their secrets and then tapped her wand to the parchment. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," she dutifully quoted the incantation that would bring the map to life before their eyes. Risking a glance at Snape, she noticed his eyebrows had risen in a gesture that plainly said 'You've got to be joking!'
Rushing through the greetings with the Marauder's personalities that had been charmed into the map, Hermione quickly inquired of Emily's location and both she and Severus waited with baited breath to see if the map would be of any assistance in their mad flight to stop the young girl from killing herself. Finally, a small dot labeled 'Emily Saunton' appeared off toward one side of the map.
"She's at the lake," they both shouted in unison. Hermione grabbed the map and they ran out of the dungeons praying to any deity that would listen that they would be in time to save the young Slytherin.
"Severus look!" Hermione exclaimed and pointed to a small bundle laying at the edge of the lake.
"I see it," the potions master acknowledged and they ran the final distance to stop in front of the unconscious body of Emily Saunton.
"Oh no, we're too late," she whispered in a mixture of shock and horror as she took in the small form of the seventh year student that was sprawled on the grass. The young girls' hair was stirring gently in the soft breeze while the jewel-encrusted dagger that lay beside her glistened in the rays of the moonlight and blood could be seen streaming from her wrists and seeping into the ground.
Leaning over the motionless form of his student, Snape brushed aside her hair and placed his fingers at the base of her neck hoping to detect a pulse.
"Is she dead?" Hermione cautiously asked brushing away a tear from her face.
"No, but she isn't far from it," he replied. Pulling his wand from his sleeve, he quickly waved it over the girl's wrists while muttering an incantation in Latin that Hermione didn't recognize. Seeing the confused expression on the Gryffindors' face he explained that it was an old spell used by healers to slow the flow of blood.
"Hopefully it will buy us enough time to deliver her into Poppy's care," he said lifting Emily from the ground and carrying her toward the castle. Hermione pulled a handkerchief from a pocket in her robes and carefully picked up the dagger before following them to the castle.
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Nearly two hours later, Severus found himself seated in the Headmaster's office. It had been a long evening and what he wanted more than anything at this moment in time was to be granted the luxury of returning to his own quarters where he would be met with the niceties of a stiff drink, a hot shower and a good night's sleep. He didn't doubt his ability to obtain the drink and the shower but sleep would be another story entirely. Of course he could use some Dreamless Sleep Potion but it had the distinct ability to leave him feeling hung over when morning came. Grunting softly to himself at the turn his thoughts had taken, he watched as the aged form of Albus Dumbledore entered the office and sat down at his desk.
"Lemon drop?" the headmaster offered before tossing one of the yellow sugar coated candies into his mouth.
"Somehow I don't think a lemon drop is going to help this Albus," the potions master said, as resignation and weariness took up residence in his voice.
"Ah, never underestimate the simple things in life Severus, for sometimes it is the tiniest things, which we would so readily dismiss, that ultimately shower us with the most joy," the old wizard answered.
"You might want to try telling that to Miss Saunton when she wakes up and realizes that her plan backfired," the younger man sneered.
"Yes," the headmaster agreed. "How is Miss Saunton doing?"
"Poppy managed to stabilize her condition but it was touch and go for quite a while. There was a time or two when we seriously thought we would lose her. If Hermione and I had taken any longer to find her then we would be having a very different conversation right now," Severus said wearily.
"But you did arrive in time and that is what matters the most," Albus assured his friend. "How is Hermione coping with this?"
"Once Poppy managed to assure us that Miss Saunton would recover, Hermione decided that she would retire for the evening. Although, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she doesn't show up in the infirmary before her first class," the potion's master answered with a small smile as he thought about the young woman who had taken such a stronghold on his affections.
"You are probably right my friend," the headmaster agreed with a small chuckle. "What of Miss Saunton's family? What will you tell them?"
Snape sat back in his chair and stared off blankly for a moment, lost in his thoughts. After a moment he pulled his attention back to the man sitting across from him and outlined his plan for dealing with Edgar Saunton and Emily's failed suicide attempt. "We managed to keep this quiet from the students with the exception of Mr. Veren who received the initial suicide note. You have the note and Mr. Veren has promised his complete silence in the matter under the pretense that we didn't want to place any undue pressure on Miss Saunton for fear that she might make another attempt on her life. The student body, should they ask, will simply be informed that she has taken ill and will be spending the next several days in the infirmary while she recuperates. Edgar Saunton can be told the same story as he would be less than pleased to discover that his daughter tried to kill herself in an effort to avoid taking the dark mark."
"He will still expect her to meet with Voldemort over the Easter holidays," Dumbledore pointed out.
"Yes," Snape agreed with a sigh "which means that we have less than a month to find a safe place for her. I thought that she might 'disappear' on her way home for the holiday. That would mean that the Ministry would be unable to tie Hogwart's to her disappearance since she won't officially be on property when her defection takes place. It will also have the added benefit of assisting in presenting Edgar Saunton in a questionable light with Voldemort, considering the timing of her disappearance."
"I will begin making arrangements for a new identity and location for Miss Saunton," the headmaster offered. "And I think, in the meantime, that you should retire for the evening."
"I couldn't agree more Albus," Severus acknowledged in a weary tone. Walking over to the fireplace, he tossed a handful of floo powder into the flames that would take him to his own chambers.
It was a long time later before a very troubled Albus Dumbledore ceased his musings and retired to his own quarters for the evening.
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Snape returned to his rooms and was now lying in bed staring at the ceiling vainly willing sleep to come while the familiar feelings of depression and disillusionment once again enveloped him. When he had come to the headmaster so many years ago and confessed his crimes he felt as if he had been given a second chance, undeserved but a chance none-the-less. An opportunity to try and make amends for the various atrocities that he had been party to during his days as a Death Eater. He had eagerly accepted Dumbledore's proposition of spying for the Order in exchange for his freedom not because he was afraid of being imprisoned within the walls of Azkaban, although he secretly felt that was too good for him considering the severity of his crimes, but because he truly felt he could help turn the tide and put evil back in its' place. But now, after twenty plus years of witnessing the prejudices and unspeakable acts that Voldemort and his followers had continued to perpetrate, he was seriously beginning to doubt that the scales would ever again tip back to favor the side of good. He was equally concerned that his own efforts toward redemption had been nothing more than the idle wishes of a man whose previous choices had condemned him long ago. Allowing a small audible sigh to escape his lips he rolled over and stared vacantly at the large bureau nestled against the wall as the memories of so many failures clouded his mind.
It had taken time, serious groveling and plenty of pain before Voldemort had allowed Severus to enter the inner circle once again. Even now, the potions master realized that the Dark Lord had never truly been convinced of his loyalty regardless of the revels he forced himself to participate in with the hopes of currying favor and acquiring valuable information that would serve some use to aid in Voldemort's eventual defeat. He thought about the many nameless victims that he had seen and helped torture over the years always telling himself that his actions were for the greater good and that their sacrifices would not be in vain. Somehow he doubted the family members left behind would feel the same. He closed his eyes tightly as he attempted to shut out the memories of the pleading looks on their faces and covered his ears in an effort to forget their shrieks of terror and their agonized screams of pain but it was to no avail. Snape knew these things would haunt him for the remainder of his days. He thought about the numerous Slytherins he had lost to the dark over the years. True, he had managed to steer some of them away from the terrors that Voldemort offered but at what cost? Draco had turned from the ways of his father and look what happened. The boy now lay dead and rotting in a grave while the Dark Lord's minions roamed free spreading fear and terror throughout the wizarding community. Then of course there was Emily Saunton a young Slytherin that desperately wanted to turn away from a future of darkness but felt so hopeless that she allowed her fears to drive her to attempt suicide.
'And what about all of the muggle born students who now faced a future devoid of parents and siblings?' he asked himself. 'What help was I to them?' he grunted mocking his so-called 'good' intentions.
And then there was Hermione. The only true ray of hope and happiness he had felt for such a very long time, a woman whose only crime in life was that of being born to muggle parents. Not that he considered this to be a crime but still, it was enough to make her a target to the likes of the Dark Lord. 'She might have stayed below his notice too if it weren't for your attentions,' an inner voice sneered. Severus longed to hex that voice but couldn't bring himself to deny the logic of the reasoning behind its words. It was because of him that Lucius had developed an interest in the young Gryffindor witch. 'And the blame shall rest entirely on your shoulders should something happen to her,' the voice whispered.
Severus continued with his contemplations far into the early hours of the morning when his mind finally shut down as a result of sheer exhaustion and allowed him the reprieve of a couple of hours rest.
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The remainder of the week passed quickly enough and fortunately without further mishap. Emily was on the road to recovery and Poppy had indicated that she would be ready to attend classes at the beginning of the following week barring any unforeseen complications. Hermione had taken it upon herself to stop in and visit with the frightened girl each morning before classes and a bond had begun to form between them.
Late Saturday evening found Severus and Hermione deeply engrossed in the comparison of reptilian DNA strands and sequences. They had found several DNA markers that were shared by all species of snakes and decided that choosing one specific marker would be their safest and fastest bet in developing an effective potion.
"But Hermione," Severus said arguing his viewpoint with the young witch, "it would be better to choose one specific DNA marker to concentrate on rather than attempt to attach the potion to multiple markers."
Hermione's frustration was beginning to get the better of her to the point that she was ready to yell at the dark haired man seated next to her. Instead she took a deep breath, silently counted to ten, and calmly stressed her own viewpoint. "Severus, what if something happens and the potion isn't recognized by whatever ONE marker we choose? Don't you think it would be better to have a back-up marker targeted as well in the event our first option fails?"
"Normally I would agree with you but this particular marker is indicative to ALL species of snakes which means that it is indicative to Voldemort as well. Therefore we only need to target ONE marker," he answered clenching his hands into small fists and doing his utmost to keep from delivering his words in a scathing tone. The truth of the matter was that he simply wasn't used to having his methods questioned and while he cared for the young woman seated beside him more than life itself, he still wasn't accustomed to dealing with dissenting opinions. "Besides, we still have to figure out a way to bind the potion to the marker once it is introduced into Voldemort's system. That in itself will take time. A commodity in which I shouldn't need to remind you that we are running preciously short on."
Suddenly the charms professor felt as if she had been transported back to her seventh year potions class. 'I needn't remind you Miss Granger of the dangers of adding the essence of pixie wings too early to this particular solution…' came the potions master's voice from a class attended so long ago. Of course, back then he hadn't bothered to try to hide his irritation and delivered the words with such a sharp edge that Hermione was certain they could easily have sliced through solid stone. Now however she recognized the control Severus was exercising in the delivery of his opinions and she realized that such control was a reflection of his feelings for her. It was a thought that sent small tendrils of warmth throughout her body. "I just think it would be prudent to have a contingency plan in the event our first option fails. A sort of 'Plan B' if you like."
Severus smiled to himself as he listened to her line of reasoning. It was obvious that she was tempering the tone of her reply but he still had to silently applaud her for sticking to her beliefs. Most people would have backed down immediately in the face of his dissention. 'Of course most people are not Hermione Granger,' he thought to himself with pride. Laying his pen down on the table he turned to look at the young woman seated next to him in silent appraisal. She was correct to argue for a contingency plan. It was something he would have liked himself but they simply did not have the luxury of time that would be required for the additional calculations and research. He opened his mouth to share these concerns with her when Albus Dumbledore came walking into the lab with the gravest of expressions on his face.
"Albus," the younger wizard acknowledged wondering what could have happened to cause such a serious expression to take up residence in the old man's eyes as opposed to their usual twinkle.
"Severus… Hermione…" the headmaster acknowledged and came to stand directly in front of the younger professors who now realized that this was definitely not a social visit. "I'm afraid that I have some terrible news."
"Yes?" Hermione prompted when the man stopped speaking momentarily in an effort to regain his composure.
"I'm afraid that there has been another attack," he said slowly. Reaching out he grasped her hands enclosing them gently within his own long weathered fingers. The look in his eyes spoke of such sadness and regret that Hermione instantly knew she would have given almost anything to avoid hearing his next words.
"An attack?" she whispered softly as her eyes began welling up with tears that were begging to be let loose.
"Yes child" he answered. "I have just received confirmation that there was an attack in the muggle world earlier this evening. The dark mark was found floating above a home in a small community."
"Albus, it wasn't…" the words were too painful for Severus to voice and he briefly closed his eyes praying that his intuition was wrong.
"Yes" he confirmed sadly. "Hermione my dear, I am so sorry but the attack was at the home of your parents."
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TBC