Disclaimers: Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.
When Living is No Longer EnoughChapter Twenty-Eight
Hermione's body went perfectly still as her mind processed the words that were coming out of Christina Saunton's aristocratic lips. Her gaze darted to the nightstand where the portkey lay waiting to be used in case of a dire emergency. 'Well,' she thought to herself as fear pumped adrenaline through her body faster and faster, 'I would call this an emergency but I seriously doubt I could reach it and utter the incantation before the woman could use her wand and hex me, or worse turn me over to Emily's father.' She briefly thought about making a mad dash for her own wand which was tucked securely in her trunk but again, the woman had too much of an advantage since her wand was already poised and ready to cast a number of disabling spells at the first hint of the slightest movement.
"What makes you think I'm someone else mum?" she questioned shakily trying to engage Emily's mother in conversation until she could either think of a plausible lie or make her way to the portkey that shined in the candlelight.
The older woman gave her a sort of twisted smile and took a few steps backwards to make herself comfortable on an overstuffed armchair. "Well let's see," she mused, training her wand on the frightened young woman. "First, there's the fact that while you definitely look like my daughter, you don't have the same attitude. You see, Emily is quite afraid of her father and she tends to answer in very clipped sentences and she avoids eye contact at all costs. Not that she would have noticed these things mind you but a mother does over a period of time. Second, my daughter tends to develop a slight tremor whenever she is in her father's presence. You have not displayed any such signs since you arrived from Hogwarts."
"Perhaps I've learned to be a little stronger willed this last term," Hermione offered hesitantly knowing that the grim faced woman sitting across from her wasn't going to believe such an excuse for a moment.
"Perhaps," Christina laughed, "but somehow I don't think so. There's also the matter of you turning down a chance to visit Helene the other day in favor of studying for the NEWT's. Now, don't misunderstand me my dear, my daughter takes her studies quite seriously but she would never deny herself a chance to visit with Helene Winslow. Not even if she were in jeopardy of failing her NEWT's."
"I see," Hermione replied quietly, realizing that she wouldn't be able to play the woman's suspicions off as an unfortunate misunderstanding. "If you truly don't believe I'm your daughter then why haven't you hexed me or called your husband or the Ministry?"
"Because I want to know who you are," the woman declared icily. "Did Lucius Malfoy send you here to spy on us? What were you supposed to do, see if we were really loyal to the Dark Lord by the extent of our willingness to sacrifice our daughter to the cause? Where is my daughter by the way? You must have done something to her so that you could take her place without worrying that she might walk in and give you away."
Hermione stared at the woman in absolute shock. Whatever she had been expecting it hadn't been this. "You think I'm in league with the Death Eaters?"
"Aren't you?" she asked, her eyes narrowing too little more than slits.
"No!" Hermione replied vehemently jumping up in dismay.
"Sit back down!" Christina Saunton shouted pointing her wand directly at the younger woman as if she feared Hermione was making an attempt to either attack or escape.
Hermione stopped and realized what the woman must be thinking and slowly returned to her seat. "I'm not working for Voldemort," she replied quietly, ignoring the way the older woman's eyes widened when she spoke the Dark Lord's name. "I'm a friend of your daughter's and I'm just trying to buy her a little more time so that she can finish the school year."
"When you say 'buy her a little more time' what exactly do you mean?" the woman asked suspiciously, although Hermione noticed that she had relaxed her grip on her wand ever so slightly.
"Your daughter has been talking with her Head of House, Severus Snape, for some time now," Hermione replied hoping that she might be able to calm the woman down by allying with her mothering instincts. "It seems that she has been worried, for quite a while, about her family's expectations for her future. In short Mrs. Saunton, Emily does not want to take the Dark Mark and join the Death Eaters. She was so adamantly against it that she recently attempted, and very nearly succeeded, in committing suicide although Professor Snape and I arrived in the nick of time and thanks to the combined efforts of Professor Snape and Poppy Pomfrey, she will be all right. However, Emily is under the impression that if she failed to show up for this meeting or refuses to accept the Dark Lord's mark that she will be killed by either your husband or on Voldemort's order. A fact of which Sev… Professor Snape assures me that will indeed come to pass unless an alternate solution can be found. Hence my presence and current deception until we can come up with a plausible excuse at the time of her graduation."
"So you and Severus Snape are helping my daughter?" she asked, her eyes softening a little at the thought. "If that is the case then who are you and where is my daughter?"
Hermione sighed. She really was disclosing much more than she was comfortable with but if she was reading the situation correctly then she really had little choice. She just hoped her instincts were right about this woman. "My name is Hermione Granger and your daughter is currently being safe-guarded by a couple of acquaintances until I return."
"Hermione Granger?" Christina repeated, slowly drawing out the syllables as if she were trying to remember something of importance. Suddenly she looked over at Hermione, "You're the charms professor right?"
"That's right," the Gryffindor replied with a small smile. "Emily is in my Advanced Charms class. She's quite gifted."
"Yes, she is," the girl's mother agreed with a proud smile and lowered her wand to rest on the arm of her chair. "Did she really attempt to take her own life over this business with the Dark Lord or is that something you just made up to gain my sympathy?"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Saunton but it really is the truth. We nearly lost Emily two weeks ago and if it wasn't for the note she left in her friends' book bag we never would have found her in time. As it is, we nearly failed," Hermione said quietly shaking her head to try and rid herself of the memories of that horrible evening.
"Why couldn't she have said something to me? Why wasn't I notified of something so important?" the woman sighed shakily. "I would have done what I could had I known that it had come to that…"
"It was decided that telling her parents would have caused more problems. After all, had we told you of Emily's suicide attempt then we would have had to disclose her reasoning behind such an attempt and then your husband would have found out that she didn't want to go through with his plans for her. And I'm sorry but in all honesty Mrs. Saunton, would her coming forth and telling you of her fears have solved anything?" Hermione asked gently. "Would you have been able to change any of this?"
"No, but I could have at least tried to talk with her, tried to guide her and make things easier," Christina said sadly. "You said that she is being cared for until your return?"
"That's right," Hermione agreed, "We had to make certain that no one saw her at the school while I was here so she left Hogwarts impersonating me."
"Which left you free to impersonate her," Christina Saunton said smiling a decidedly Slytherin smile that reminded Hermione momentarily of Severus. "How do I know that you're telling me the truth?"
"Well, I guess you don't really. Aside from contacting Albus or Severus, there isn't really any other proof that I can offer and if you contact them then it could give away everything leaving then both Emily and myself in danger" Hermione answered honestly hoping that the woman would be willing to take a chance that her story was true. Aside from the personal danger to both herself and Emily Saunton, she still needed to deliver the 'reptilian cocktail' to Voldemort or everything they had labored for would be for nothing. Looking directly at the woman who was still thoughtfully regarding her, she asked, "If you don't mind me asking Mrs. Saunton, what do you intend to do now that you know I'm not your daughter?"
"It seems to me that there isn't much I can do to you right now. You said yourself that Emily's return to Hogwarts is pending your own return and while I don't think Albus Dumbledore would allow a child to be harmed, I would still have more bargaining power by holding your secret over your head. After all, you've only had a small glimpse this afternoon of what my husband is actually capable of."
"Don't remind me," Hermione grumbled causing the older woman to laugh.
"Just keep in mind that I will be watching you and if anything looks suspicious then I will have no qualms in disclosing your real identity. By the way, Edgar said that Severus was a traitor to Voldemort. I'm assuming that's true?" Mrs. Saunton asked casually although Hermione could see the spark of interest in the woman's eyes.
Hermione considered her answer cautiously, not wanting to release too much information in case Emily's mother decided to turn her over to the Death Eaters after all. "I take it you know Professor Snape?"
"Oh yes, although when I met him he wasn't 'Professor Snape'. He was a fifth year student at Hogwarts, just two years younger than myself. He was always very quiet, studied a lot and kept to himself mostly. I honestly believe that the library was his favorite place in the school next to the potions lab of course," she said laughing at some long forgotten memory that danced through her mind.
"Were the two of you close?" Hermione asked wondering exactly what this woman's relationship to Hogwart's potions master had been. 'Getting a little jealous?' a voice whispered inside her head. 'Afraid there was someone more important in his life than you at one time or another?' Shaking her head to rid herself of the annoying persistence of her subconscious, she flashed a small smile at the other woman.
"Hmmm… were we close?" Christina mused thoughtfully recognizing the subtle signs of jealousy emanating from the younger woman. "Well, yes and no. I dare say we weren't as close as the two of you most likely are but he was always a good friend. A friend that was responsible for getting me through seventh year potions and the NEWT's, or at least the potions part of the NEWT's."
"Oh," Hermione said digesting this new information before realizing what the other woman had implied. "Oh, we're not… I mean…"
"It's okay dear," the other woman said walking over to sit beside her on the rumpled bed linens. "I'm glad that Severus has found someone after all this time. I had begun to think, over the years, that such a thing just wasn't meant to be but I can tell from the look in your eyes when you speak about him that you do care. Hang on to that dear," she said patting the Gryffindor's hand, "it's worth more than you can imagine."
"Mrs. Saunton, about the gathering tomorrow evening… what should I expect?" she asked giving voice to the question that had been plaguing her most. "I mean, will we go straight to dinner followed by conversation and then everyone goes home or will it be more involved than that?"
"You really are new to this aren't you?" Christina Saunton questioned with something akin to wonder in her voice. "Well, first there will be the usual socializing where everyone stands around drinking and talking and summing everyone else up in relations to their own positions and aspirations. After that we will move into the dining area where we will all sit down and partake of this ghastly meal that will consist of all of the usual pomp and circumstance and will be comprised of more courses and servings than anyone could ever possibly hope to finish. Of course everyone will be metaphorically using their cutlery to stab one another in the back mind you, only it will be raised to a more elegant and refined level of artifice. Then, once we have all stuffed ourselves like muggle cattle, we will adjourn to the ballroom for dancing and drinking before finally deciding that we have all backstabbed, prodded and planted ideas against one another sufficiently for the evening and call it a night. There will not be a dark revel so you needn't concern yourself with that. However, as my daughter, or perhaps I should say as Edgar's daughter, you will be expected to socialize with the inner circle of Death Eaters and you will be expected to converse with the Dark Lord himself at some point in time. I guess you could call it a sort of pre-initiation interview. I wouldn't expect anything too grandiose mind you but he will probably pull you aside sometime during the dance. You must remember to be respectful and seemingly awed by his presence or there will be more trouble than I can help you with."
"It sounds… stressful," Hermione sighed wishing there had been a less direct way of gaining access to Voldemort but knowing that such a wish was pointless. The only direct point of contact with the Dark Lord that the Order had been able to establish since his resurrection had been through Severus and now that his direct participation was no longer an option, drastic measures were required. The Gryffindor witch wished she were a little more Slytherin when it came to all of the cloak and dagger antics this particular scheme required her to participate in. Lying had never been her strong suit, a fact that could readily be attested to considering that one person had already discovered her true identity. When you stopped to calculate that she had only met two people and a few house-elves since coming to Saunton Manor, Hermione figured that her track record was not exactly what one might term a roaring success.
"Mrs. Saunton," Hermione asked hesitantly, "what if your husband notices the same things you did and realizes that I'm not Emily? All of this will have been for nothing."
Christina Saunton allowed a rather unladylike snort to escape her mouth and gave a rather sad nod of her head as she addressed Hermione's concerns. "I'm afraid that's not likely my dear. You see, Edgar has never really taken an interest in Emily until now and even that is only for the purpose of presenting her to Voldemort and furthering his own desires. Perhaps if she had been a boy… but that is only a supposition or perhaps wishful thinking on my part. The truth is that he probably wouldn't have cared any more or less regardless of Emily's gender. Suffice it to say that Edgar will not notice anything amiss as long as you continue to play the part of the obedient offspring."
"How sad," Hermione commented, sympathizing with the young Slytherin who had recently tried to take her own life.
"Yes," she agreed. "I have tried to make up for the lack of interest on her father's behalf but there is only so much I can do considering Edgar's ambitions for himself and our family."
"Considering that Emily has always spoken of you with a certain measure of admiration, I would have to guess that she understands," Hermione replied and then stopped as another thought entered her mind. "Mrs. Saunton, will I be able to return to Hogwarts the following day? After the dinner party?" the young girl questioned.
"Yes, I will apparate back to the school with you rather than sending you back on the train," the woman told her and continued when she saw Hermione starting to protest. "No, you have asked that I trust you with something that could potentially cost both me and my daughter's life. I have allowed you to continue this deception but I will return to Hogwarts with you and speak with the Headmaster. No one else needs to know about our little arrangement but I want to see my daughter with my own eyes. After I have spoken with Dumbledore about his future plans for Emily and am certain that she has returned to the castle safe and unharmed, I will return home with your secret intact. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Hermione said holding out her hand to seal their deal. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help Emily. I know that we have an ulterior motive in trying to obtain information for the Order but your daughter's safety really is our primary concern."
"Professor Granger, if I didn't believe that then I would have turned you over to my husband and we wouldn't be having this conversation," the woman said softly. Walking to the door she released the wards. Opening the door, she stepped into the long hallway and paused as she gracefully turned around and gave the woman a quick wink. "Get a good night's rest Emily," she said loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear. "You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow child and you'll want to be at your best for your meeting with the Dark Lord."
"Yes mum. Goodnight," Hermione called, her voice drifting into the hallway to be heard by the older woman just as she was pulling the door shut.
Straightening the coverlet, the young woman retrieved her wand from her trunk, cast a few wards on the door and slid between the sheets and reached for the portkey. Turning the small button over in her hands she marveled at how such a tiny object could have made such a very big difference had Christina Saunton decided to hand her over to the Death Eaters. That was of course, had she been able to reach it and actually make her escape before the woman hexed her into infinity. 'Well that's certainly not going to happen again,' she thought chiding herself for not following Severus' instructions and keeping the magical item on her person at all times. 'Just like I didn't listen and stay close to Minerva in Hogsmeade' she thought sadly, wondering if the time would ever come when she didn't feel like she was out of her depth when it came to games of stratagem and intrigue.
Placing the portkey in the pocket of her nightclothes, she hid her wand in her pillowcase and leaned over to gently blow out the candle that softly flickered on the nightstand. Laying down she tried to clear her mind of the doubts and fears that raced through it by thinking of her own friends and family and of one dark haired man in particular that was awaiting her return to an oversized castle with drafty dungeons.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'Why do people in this lifestyle always have to wear black?' Hermione thought to herself as she surveyed the black velvet dress robes that had been laid out for her. 'Severus always wears black, although he's one person that can really pull it off. Lucius Malfoy has always been attired in black, at least the few times I've seen him. And Voldemort… well, who knows what the Dark Lord wears but considering that the Death Eater's robes are black then it's probably a safe guess to say that his preferred choice of colors runs along the same lines. Why can't they ever wear any other colors, something more cheerful like blue or purple?' she thought donning the elegant dress robes and laughing at the notion of Death Eaters decked out in 'cheerful' robes and masks. Her current line of thinking was a testament to just how nervous she actually was.
Looking in the mirror she assessed herself critically. It was still a very strange sensation to look into a mirror and see someone else's face staring back at you and although Hermione had been impersonating Emily Saunton for the past four days, she still felt as if she were caught up in some strange sort of dream. The only problem was that she wouldn't wake up from that dream unless she managed to play her part perfectly this evening. What if Voldemort could sense that she wasn't who she pretended to be?
Sighing, she took a deep breath and gathered her Gryffindor courage as she reached for her wand and uttered a simple spell that reduced the size of the wand to an eighth of its original size. Taking the tiny wand that was now no larger than a toothpick; she tucked it into the side of her shoe and smiled. As an underage witch, Emily Saunton was not allowed to use magic while away from Hogwarts and therefore had no need of her wand this evening. However, as an imposter who didn't know what the evening might hold, Hermione Granger would be damned if she was going to walk into a room full of Death Eaters without some semblance of protection. Hearing a knock on the door, she dropped the portkey and the perfume bottle containing the 'reptilian cocktail' into her pocket and nervously made her way to the door.
"Good evening Emily," Mrs. Saunton said taking in her daughter's appearance and giving her a small hug for encouragement. "Are you ready to greet our guests?"
"Yes mum," she answered with a small smile and stepped into the hallway to follow the older woman down the stairs and into the main foyer where the guests were already arriving.
'Smile Hermione… no Emily,' she told herself nervously as she passed by the daunting figure of Lucius Malfoy. She nearly laughed when a familiar phrase floated through her mind. 'Mental that one, I tell you…' Ron used to say when she would nervously start speaking to herself. Oh how she wished they were all here with her now!
"Darling," Mrs. Saunton said, breaking into her wayward thoughts, "I'm sure you remember Mr. and Mrs. Goyle?"
Hermione looked up expecting to see Goyle Sr. and was astonished to see Gregory Goyle instead. "Um, of course" she answered nodding politely while trying to maintain a serious expression befitting of a young woman who was about to be tentatively accepted into the band of Death Eaters which were milling around. 'Someone actually married him?' she thought to herself trying to keep the look of incredulity from showing on her face. Taking a closer look at the rather large, pug faced woman that stood quietly next to Goyle, Hermione shuddered while thinking that the two did resemble one another somewhat and sent out her unspoken apologies in advance to any children that might result from such a union. 'Dumber than bricks and uglier than fence posts,' she thought to herself in a mean spirited fashion only to console herself with the knowledge that her thoughts were probably more accurate than anyone would care to admit.
Hermione continued to greet new arrivals while standing next to Mrs. Saunton the entire time. She was pleased to note that the woman was guiding her through the introductions and conversations in a myriad of ways and felt much more relaxed by the time dinner was announced.
Seated next to her 'mother' and Mrs. Jansen, a woman that not only profusely sweated but whom Hermione was certain didn't know the difference between perfume and a brewery, she found herself quietly eating and making small talk only when the occasion called for it. Everything was running fairly smoothly and she had only half listened to the conversations around her when she picked up a string of words from Lucius Malfoy that caught her attention.
"Of course, with the Dark Lord placing me in charge of uncovering the identities of spies within our ranks, I've had far less time for the more…shall we say…pleasurable aspects of our jobs," the fair haired man said suavely and gave a practiced laugh along with his counterparts.
"Speaking of bringing in the traitors Malfoy," a loud voice rang out from toward the end of the long dining table, "I've noticed that you have yet to bring Severus before us."
More laughing ensued as Lucius elegantly picked up his glass of wine and made a display of calmly taking a sip before delicately placing the glass back down on the table and giving a forced smile. "Ah yes, Severus, my dear old misguided friend. I'm certain that we would all delight in Severus' company one last time McNair but alas, these things do take time."
"You said that your last stunt would have him coming to you of his own volition. Something about using a mudblood against him?" McNair asked and the round of laughter ensued once again.
"Yes, it was the perfect plan but sadly, these things do not always go as we would like," he said suavely.
"Do tell Lucius," Barry Grandle's voice called out. "We could use a good story before the Dark Lord arrives in a little while."
Amidst the murmurs and applause, Lucius held up his hands as if he were graciously bestowing his audience with a magnanimous gift and everyone fell silent.
"Well, I conceived the plan after someone told me that our dear friend Severus had developed an interest in a mudblood named Hermione Granger. After several attempts to taunt him with my knowledge of his ill-conceived affair and having no success at drawing our misguided brother out from behind the robes of that doddering old fool of a headmaster, I decided to take a more direct line of action. Action that resulted in an attack on Granger's parents," Lucius said and paused for dramatic effect as several of the Death Eaters began mumbling and applauding the dark wizard's tactics.
Meanwhile Christina Saunton surreptitiously glanced at her 'daughter' to see an expression of anger flit through her eyes. Knowing how much this must be costing the young woman, she quickly lowered her hand from the table to clasp Hermione's in a quiet, unseen show of support.
Fortunately, that small gesture was enough to catch Hermione's attention and refocus her thoughts on her mission. Giving her 'mother' a small nod to indicate that she was okay, she quietly returned her attention to the conversation keeping a hold on Christina Saunton's hand as a means of grounding herself in the present and her keeping her temper in check.
"Sadly no, I was unable to get my hands on the mudblood during the funeral as had been my intentions seeing that she was too heavily guarded by Potter and his fellow Aurors. So I settled for the next best thing and decided to make it appear as if I had captured the mudblood," Lucius snickered and continued telling the story of the polyjuice and the pensieve.
"And yet Snape still remains, alive and well, at Hogwarts," McNair reminded the group with a tone of voice that clearly spoke of disgust at the present situation.
"How right you are McNair," Malfoy said shaking his head in a contrived manner. "He was supposed to view the contents of the pensieve and come raging over to Malfoy Manor to confront me in a fit of rage and despair but sadly, and much to my surprise, that did not happen. I guess he didn't care for the mudblood as much as I had been lead to believe after all, eh?"
At that, the laughter once again erupted and it was all Hermione could do to hold back from pulling her wand out and hexing them all. 'If Malfoy only knew how close he came to having his wish granted that night,' she thought to herself remembering the potions master's still form as she and Albus walked into his quarters and discovered the poison. A tight squeeze of her hand by Christina Saunton kept her ire in check and she merely plastered a smile to her face.
"Yes, my loyal servant," a voice hissed from the entryway. "A miscalculation that I am sure you will remedy shortly."
"My Lord," Lucius said in surprise as he turned his head to take in the figure of Voldemort standing before them.
All at once the sounds of chairs being moved by witches and wizards alike could be heard as the assembled guests hurried to rise and kneel before the scaled creature, which stood before them.
Voldemort swept through the room, his red eyes surveying the scene before him with a sense of demonic pride as he spied the hunched forms of his followers. He inhaled noisily through the slits on his face that acted as nostrils and basked in the smell of fear that permeated the room.
"It seems that I have missed some interesting dinner conversation," the Dark Lord hissed as he seated himself in the vacant chair at the end of the table and motioned for everyone else to follow his lead and return to their seats. "How fortunate that I have arrived before the final course so that I might… visit with my loyal followers."
The remainder of the meal continued in a somewhat more subdued tone while Voldemort asked questions and listened attentively to the responses he received. Hermione was quite surprised by his congenial attitude as he made small talk with the wives and older children of some of the Death Eaters that had not or had yet to take the dark mark. She had truly never expected such charm from someone who was responsible for so much devastation and despair. It was truly a puzzling concept for the logically minded Gryffindor witch.
Dinner ended and the ensemble casually made their way to the ballroom. As Hermione considered her surroundings, she was once again struck by the understated elegance of Saunton Manor. Similar to other rooms in the Manor, the ballroom was spacious and adorned with golden fixtures that gleamed in the light of hundreds of flickering candles placed strategically throughout the room. The walls were adorned with portraits and canvases of various ages whose inhabitants seemed to enjoy watching the gala surrounding them.
As was expected of her, Hermione danced and made small talk with many of the guests throughout the evening as she waited nervously for her 'appointment' with Voldemort. It was towards midnight when Christina Saunton approached her and quietly warned her that the Dark Lord had intentions of speaking with the young woman within the next few minutes. Removing the 'reptilian cocktail' from her purse she clasped it in one hand and began to cast her gaze around looking for the current whereabouts of the Dark Lord. A task that was hindered by the vast number of people in the expansive, but definitely overcrowded, room.
Slowly making her way towards the outskirts of the ballroom Hermione gasped as a portly, drunken man, staggered into her from behind causing her petite body to lurch forward and fall face down on the floor. Picking herself up and angrily biting back a cutting retort that would have even made Severus blush, she clenched her hands to realize that the small perfume atomizer was no longer within her grasp. Quickly casting her gaze around the immediate area, she nearly cried out in anguish at the sight that greeted her.
Lying on the floor just a few inches from where she stood was the shattered remnants of the transfigured perfume bottle. The 'reptilian cocktail' was now nothing more than a small fragrant puddle on the elegantly decorated dance floor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TBC
Author's Note: So there you have it folks. Christina is a good guy…or is she??? (Mwa ha ha ha). Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I must say that I was positively floored (and gratified) by your feedback on the last one. It's always nice to know that people are still reading along G Please leave a review on your way out and as always, I'll do my best to have the next chapter posted within a week's time.
~Jules