Lifetime of Celebration
By Jeannette Hetfield
Chapter 7
Eventually, the sun set behind the rolling dunes and yet they still rode on, intending to go all the way back to Hamunaptra without stopping and arrived inside the City just after dark. They didn't talk much on the way back. In fact, they barely said two words to each other. Both were absorbed in their own thoughts. Jensa fretted about not finding the necklace. If it wasn't at Hamunaptra, then she would be forced to tell him that she had lost his ring. Jensa felt dreadful knowing how upset he would be with her. The fact that it was a family heirloom only made matters worse.
In turn, Ardeth still fretted about her insistence on finding the lost piece of jewelry. Obviously, it was important enough that she would travel a great distance just to find it. Who had given her this necklace? Was it a man? Did she love him? Had she given herself to him? Ardeth's face turned green with jealousy and hatred at his last thought. If he saw this man, he would tear his head off. No man but himself touched Jensa. His eyes strayed to her right hand. The ring he had given her years ago was no longer there. She had taken it off. After everything she said he meant to her, how could she have taken it off?
Jensa glanced over at Ardeth. His expression puzzled her. He looked thunderously angry and Jensa fancied she could see a dark cloud above his head, pouring scores of raindrops and bolts of lightning. She was about to ask what was bothering him when he said gruffly, "We are here."
Ardeth jumped off his horse and brusquely led the animal to one of the pillars, quickly tieing the reins around the ancient crumbling stone. Jensa followed and did the same. There was no possible way to search for the necklace without the aid of the sun, so they decided to set up camp and wait until morning. It would be hard enough to search during the day, what with the heat and infinitesimal amount of sand to look through.
For some reason, Jensa's nerves were on edge. This was the first time they had been alone together. Of course, the day before they had been alone in Jensa's tent, but other people were outside milling about. Right now, they were completely and utterly alone. It wasn't that Jensa was afraid to be alone with Ardeth, but she didn't know what was going to happen. Not that she really expected anything to…yet.
Ardeth built a fire and placed his bedroll on the sand. There was no need to set up their tents as they would not be in the City for very long. Two warm hands draped something around her. She gave a slight nervous jump and glanced at his hands. Ardeth had placed a blanket around her shoulders. The nightly desert chill was especially cold tonight.
"Thank you," she said. He nodded once to her.
Jensa sat crossed-legged in front of the fire watching with a far-off expression as the flames danced about. She was thinking of Lyle. He was never very far from her thoughts and she knew, regretfully, that he would probably always be there in the back of her mind to torment her already threatened sanity. With Ardeth beside her though, she did feel a measure of comfort. His very presence was security enough. She glanced over at her friend. He turned to look at her at the same time. The anger dissolved from his face and his eyes softened to a warm brown when their gaze met.
Now she felt déjà vu. This cozy little fire and just the two of them, at Hamunaptra no less, brought back vivid memories of their last remaining hours together before she left Egypt.
"Do you feel that this setting is familiar?" she asked him quietly.
"Yes, I was just thinking the same thing."
"The setting was not exactly pleasant."
"Why do you say that?"
"I yelled and screamed, ranted and raved. I acted like such a child. I was a child."
"It was unpleasant for us both." He did, however, remember the tender moments they shared. Ardeth and Jensa had slept in each other's arms. He would never forget that night for the number of years he was destined to walk the earth. His arms ached to hold her now, but that was out of the question. "The firelight danced off the ends of your hair. Your eyes were ablaze with emotion. I had never seen you so certain about something that you wanted. You were ready to give up everything you had just to be with me and yet you were so young."
"I wish I could have stayed here. Oh, how different my life would be," she whispered. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Great, now he would see her cry, yet again. It was hard to keep a stiff upper lip around Ardeth. Anytime she was near him, she felt her resolve melt away. He only had to look at her and she felt her emotions whirlwind like a young colt yet to be broken in.
Ardeth placed his index finger under her chin and pulled her face around. He grimaced at her pain and softly brushed the tears away. "Please do not cry. I cannot stand to see you cry. It tears a part of my soul away every time I see your tears."
"I am sick to death of crying. You'd think since I cried so much I'd be dehydrated. Sometimes I wish I was still sixteen. Life was not exactly simple then either, but at least it had been happy."
"You are not happy?"
She knew he was not asking her a question and said pointedly, "No, I'm not."
"Why?" he probed.
"Because I'm just not."
"That is not a reason."
"It's my reason."
"Yet explains nothing, Jensa."
"I don't have to explain anything." She added to herself, I don't want to.
"Maybe talking about what you are afraid of would help."
"Who says I'm afraid?" her quivering voice betrayed all.
"You do not have to say you are afraid. Your eyes clearly express it and I can feel your fear. Why do you not tell me?"
"It's complicated."
"How so?"
"Will you stop questioning me please?" she begged him, pulling the blanket tighter against her body.
"No," he pushed. "I thought we were closer than that. You have become a stranger to me."
"And to myself. I look in the mirror and think how I could have almost…" she trailed off before letting her shameful secret to light.
"Almost what, Jen? I am worried about you."
"Can we talk about something else?"
"I do not wish to discuss something else. I want to know what is bothering you and you are going to tell me." Ardeth's anger stirred again. What was troubling her? Did it have something to do with the man who gave her the necklace? If he had hurt her, he would live forever in eternal torment once Ardeth killed him. Why could she not confide in him? By Allah, she was stubborn.
"Oh, I am?" she said curtly. "I am not a Med-jai, so stop ordering me around. It's none of your business."
Ardeth stopped himself before grabbing her by the arm. Considering her behavior last night, she would probably scream and go into hysterics if he touched her. Instead, he balled his fists up tightly, feeling his short, squarely cut fingernails digging into his palm.
"Jensa, it is my business. You are my business and always will be. I care about you. Or have you forgotten?"
"Of course I haven't."
"Then why can you not open up to me the way you used to? We were, as you referred to us, best friends, and so much more than that."
Her lips trembled. Jensa was on the verge of another bout of tears. It hurt too much to speak of it, let alone think of it. "Ardeth, leave me alone," she sobbed. Jensa laid down on her side with her back to him and folded her arm to lay her head on it. She turned her face down into the material of her blanket and bit down to keep the sobs back that choked at her throat.
"Jensa, do not turn your back on me," he threatened.
She ignored his warning.
Her constant refusal to speak of her past angered him, so he reached out and jerked her up, putting his face alarmingly close. She tried breaking the hold he had, but could not. The breath caught in her throat. In that moment, she was afraid of him. Afraid of the angered look in his eyes. She had seen that look in his eyes before…and in Lyle's. Could he possibly force the answers he wanted out of her?
Ardeth realized he had made a costly mistake by handling her with such roughness. Earlier that morning, they had started to reconstruct the broken bridge between them. His forceful act had just demolished any hope of bringing them back together. The look of terror on her face cooled his anger while pushing the knife further into his heart. Ardeth's hold on her arms softened and eventually released her. Jensa scrambled away from him and moved to the other side of the fire, again laying down with her back to him. Her body shook with silent sobs.
"Forgive me." He said the words far too quietly for her to hear. Jensa was absolutely terrified of him. How could he have been so stupid? Ardeth looked at her mournfully.
Eventually, Jensa's sobbing ceased and he knew she had finally fallen asleep. This did not come for him at all. He laid awake with his arms behind his head propping it up, staring at the myriad of stars in the sky. Something floated by his ears. He turned in the direction of the noise. It came from Jensa.
He kept coming closer. She backed as far away from him as she could, but she tripped and fell backwards onto something soft. She recognized the pink and blue flowers of her bedspread. He climbed on top of her with his hands around her neck. She choked and begged for mercy, but he had other plans in mind for her. His hands left her throat and pinned her arms above her head while ripping her clothes off. She screamed for help as he ravaged her, but no one came. She was not saved. Her innocence, her sanity and her life was stolen from her. She scrubbed her skin till it nearly came off, trying to rid herself of the filth she felt, but it wouldn't come off. The stain was permanent. As she gathered her torn clothes around her bruised body, she crawled to the door and pulled herself to her feet.
"Escape," she said, "I came here to escape."
If she could just make it through the door, she would be free. She could escape. The door swung open, but she could not step through. Something barred her way, but she felt no fear. She looked up far above her into the kindest face she had ever seen. The dark eyes watched her with so much love and understanding. She had never known this kind of love existed and it was all for her. Someone in the world really did love her with all their heart, body and soul. Her hands touched the face and found their way into long soft curls. He put his arms around her and pulled her close.
"Yes, please. I need to be near you. Please don't ever leave me."
His answer to her pleading cry was to give her the most intoxicating kiss she had ever experienced. Their lips moulded together with a fiery passion only thought to exist in fairy tales.
She realized that he was her escape.
But all not was well. Something lurked in the shadows behind them. He drew closer.
"No, please don't. Too close. He's too close."
She felt herself being pulled away from the safety of his arms. Her love becomes smaller and smaller. She cannot see him anymore, but his voices rings out.
"I will always be with you."
Ardeth.
Ardeth!
ARDETH!!
"ARDETH!!!" Jensa screamed at the top of her lungs.
The object of her dream flew to her side and gathered her frightened form up in his arms. She thrashed about in terror and did not wake, but he kept a firm grip on her and whispered soothing Arabic phrases in her ear, pledging his undying love and devotion. This quieted her immediately. Jensa stopped thrashing and stopped dreaming. Her breathing slowed and her sleep returned to normal. Hot tears gushed from her closed eyes onto his face. He felt Jensa's tears as if they were his own and he realized…they were. He did not know when the tears fell from his eyes. They had immediately appeared because he felt her pain. It was agonizing to watch her. She could not even find peace in sleep. Jensa clutched at him fiercely, almost like she was afraid to let go, lest she be taken away from him. Ardeth returned the fierceness of her hold.
She spoke so quietly he could barely make out the words. "Please don't leave me."
"I will always be with you, kalila."
* * *
The closer it got to sunrise, Ardeth released Jensa and stood up. He was not sure what she would do if she found herself in his arms, knowing he never left her side through the night. She might possibly recede further into her shell. He did not want that to happen. Jensa did not need to suffer anymore than she already had.
He moved back to the other side of the remains of the fire, which had burned itself out during the night. Jensa moaned quietly and sat up, startled when she saw him quietly observing her. She averted her eyes and maintained her distance. His gaze was intimidating her to the point of no return. If she looked in his eyes once more, she would give in no matter the cost. She personally felt she was not ready to speak to him of her past. How would he react when he discovered she had nearly committed suicide? Would he be ashamed of her for attempting the coward's way out? What would he do when he found out that Lyle had nearly succeeded in raping her? Jensa chose not to think about that. From the anger he exuded last night, Ardeth would no doubt take the news very badly.
Ardeth broke the silence gruffly. "We should begin the search for your necklace and leave as soon as we find it." He felt his temper rising, at himself and at remembrance of the necklace. Everything was a mess. She had not told him where this necklace came from and he feared it was from another man. His jealousy resurfaced. The angry expression he held was blacker than the robes he wore.
They searched in silence for nearly thirty minutes. Jensa momentarily forgot about the necklace and observed Ardeth's behavior. His mood had gone from bad to worse. In that moment, the gods more than likely feared his wrath. He angrily knocked things over and kicked rocks away while he searched. Curiosity got the better of her and she approached him. He kicked at a rock. It flew a couple of yards and hit one of the pillars, smashing into little pieces.
"Did you have some score to settle with that poor rock?" The cold, empty stare he gave her frightened her enough that she took a step back and walked off. Not two seconds later, she changed her mind and approached him again. Jensa had considered leaving him alone, but wanted to know why he was angrier than the gods. She touched his arm, but he shook her hand off. She stared at him with a baffled expression. "What is the matter with you? Are you mad at me because of last night?"
Ardeth didn't answer. Jensa abandoned her search for the necklace altogether and followed him around while he shoved more objects out of his path. He quickly became annoyed at her. "Will you stop following me?"
"No, not until you tell me what's wrong!"
"Why? You tell me nothing! I have never been more worried in my life and I cannot help you if you will not trust me!" This was childish, he knew. "If you will not tell me then why should I tell you?" Ardeth felt the battle raging inside of him. He was angry at Jensa, but feared for her. He was looking for a necklace he did not care to find, but it was special to her and made her happy. All he wanted was for her to be happy. If he could give some semblance of happiness to Jensa then maybe he would set in motion what he desperately wanted from her.
"Ardeth, please!" she implored.
Ardeth strode over to her and grabbed her by the arm. She tried to pry his hand loose, but his strength surpassed hers by far. "You really want to know?"
"Yes!" she cried.
"Who gave you this necklace?"
"What?" she blinked at him in surprise, clearly not expecting the question.
"Was it a man?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Yes," she said honestly.
"Do you love him?"
She did not hesitate. "With all my heart."
His eyes darkened. "Who is he?" he demanded.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes!" he shouted.
"Ardeth, look—--"
"Have you given yourself to him?"
"I beg your pardon??"
"Answer me!" he shouted.
"That's none of your gosh darn business!" she shouted back.
"If he has touched you, I will kill him." Ardeth stepped closer, dissolving the gap between them. "Who is he?" he demanded angrily.
"What's it to you?"
"I have a right to know!"
"How is it your right?"
"Jensa, how can you ask me that? The very thought of another man giving you anything, touching you… It makes me—--"
"Jealous?" she filled in.
Ardeth released her arm and turned his back on her. "You are right. It makes me jealous," he admitted much to the chagrin of his pride. "If this man has chosen to claim you for his own, then I will fight him for what is rightfully mine because you belong to me and no other."
Jensa found herself smiling as she rubbed her arm where his hand had held a death grip. Despite the caveman-beating-his-chest tone of his words, he just said that she belonged to him and she loved it. "Then you would be jealous of yourself," she revealed quietly.
Ardeth whirled around in confusion. He opened his mouth to speak, but something caught his eye. A few feet away, a shiny object was lodged under a rock that had missed being kicked away during his earlier tangent. Ardeth brushed past Jensa and bent down to pick it up. It was a silver chain with a ring hanging from it. On closer inspection, Ardeth saw the imprinted mark. It matched the Horus tattoos on his shoulders and he realized this was the ring he had given Jensa all those years ago.
The sand and rocks crunched under her approaching footsteps. Her eyes lit up with joy seeing the necklace in his hands. She reached for it, but he retracted his hand. Jensa kept her hand outstretched. "Give it to me please."
"Why was it around your neck instead of your finger?" he asked looking at her intently.
She dropped her hand and lowered her gaze. The necklace was still in her view. She could see the ring swinging back and forth on the chain. "Well, I guess the time has come for me to tell you the whole sordid story."
* * *
Wanting to leave Hamunaptra as soon as possible, Jensa and Ardeth decided it would be best to talk on the way back to Cairo, but oddly enough, they did not speak about anything while they rode. Jensa was struggling to find the right words. Ardeth left her to her own thoughts. Before she knew it, it was dark again and he told they should stop for the night. He built another fire and sat directly across from her. Her haunted look frightened him. Ardeth wanted to throw a barrage of questions at her, but waited patiently. The time for that would come later.
She felt a little uncomfortable talking to him about this. It had been hard enough telling her parents. She kept her eyes downcast and stared at her boots because of the overwhelming shame and humiliation she felt.
Before she began, Ardeth sensed her hesitation was for a very good reason and quietly reminded her, "Do not be afraid. Whatever is on your mind, you can tell me. I will always be here to listen."
The corners of her mouth turned up in a little smile. "Yes, I know. You always were a good listener," she remembered. "This is really…difficult."
Jensa started at the beginning, telling Ardeth how she met Lyle and why her father and Lyle agreed on the marriage. "I didn't want to marry him, Ardeth, but I was confused and just went along with my father. I thought that maybe I could be happy with Lyle. He seemed like such a nice guy at first, but there's a darker side to him that he kept hidden.
My father held a business dinner with other archaeologists who were in town. He was going to fund their expedition to South America. Lyle was invited to the dinner for the sole purpose of the announcement of our engagement. I hadn't exactly accepted Lyle's proposal, but my father accepted for me. Lyle is a politician and with our marriage, he agreed to put in a good word for Daddy and for other archaeologists. He doesn't think they're appreciated enough.
A few months of being engaged to him revealed his true nature. He wanted us to get married right away, but my mother said it was proper to wait a year. Thank God she insisted and Lyle agreed to wait. He only wanted this marriage for my money. He didn't care one iota about me. At first, it was just little things. Derogatory comments. He didn't like me anywhere near other men and he would tell me to change clothes if he didn't like what I was wearing. Then one night, he noticed your ring on my finger and told me to get rid of it. He called it pagan and when I tried to explain its origin to him…he hit me. I was completely taken by surprise. That's why I wore the ring on a chain. I had to hide it underneath my clothes, but at least it was something I didn't have to tell anyone about. It was a happy little secret I kept all to myself."
The smile faded in her eyes and she resumed the grim tale.
"Lyle blamed his behavior on me. I brought out his jealous nature. I brought out his temper. It was all my fault." Jensa had been holding back the tears because she couldn't bear for Ardeth to see her cry, but they spilled down her cheeks. "He said I would be the perfect wife even if he had to beat me into it."
Jensa looked down to discover Ardeth holding her hand.
"He took me out for a night on the town about a month ago and left me at the table because he saw some friends of his and he wanted to say hello. I also ran into a friend of mine from the university. We had had the same class and got along really well. Lyle saw me talking to him and he was outraged. He came back to the table, grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me back to the car. Once we got to my home, he lost it and there was no one to help me. He hit me in the face, then he started strangling me. It seemed like an eternity before he let go. I can only vaguely remember the rest of the night. I think he carried me to my room and threw me on my bed. I lost consciousness and woke up the next day exactly where he had thrown me. That's when I began wearing the scarves to hide the abuse from everyone. I couldn't hide my swollen face though. Lyle told everyone I tripped down the stairs in our house before he could catch me. The entire time Lyle was lying about my bruises, Michael was watching me. I could see that he didn't believe Lyle's story. He confronted me later and said bruises like that didn't come from falling down the stairs. A fall down the stairs in our home would have killed me. I broke down and told him everything. He promised me he would come up with a solution. He disappeared for about a week, working on solving my problems. Coming back to Egypt was his solution. I feared for my life that week while he was gone, which was actually not so long ago. I knew Lyle would probably kill me, but I figured death was better than a life with him, so I told him flat out that he couldn't have me or my money."
The haunted look in her eyes deepened. "He was supremely confident, having always gotten what he wanted. I threw the ring in his face and told him to get out. Lyle's answer to that was to attack me again. He tried to strangle me, but I managed to get away. I just wasn't fast enough and I was weak. There was barely enough strength left in me to crawl to my door. That's why I've been coughing so much. I could actually feel my throat collapsing beneath his hands." She swallowed and noticed her throat wasn't as raw as it was yesterday. This improvement in her physical health did nothing for her mind though. "But that wasn't the worst part of it." She squeezed Ardeth's hand as she began telling him about Lyle trying to force himself on her.
Ardeth felt the blood in his veins reach a boiling point. He vehemently let out a string of Arabic cursing at this Lyle who had violated his love. Jensa was taken aback, but had expected this reaction. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her palm.
"Forgive me. Please go on."
Jensa sniffed and continued. "Lucky for me, Michael showed up and heard me screaming. He rescued me and threw Lyle out the front door. Daddy and Mother came home shortly after that and we explained everything to them. Daddy had the police search for him, but he skipped town.
"But that wasn't the worst part of it," she repeated. Jensa broke off and fresh tears filled her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to say it. Long fingers slid across her cheek to rest her face in his palm. She leaned heavily into it. "Ardeth, I don't know how I could even think of taking my own…"
"What?" he prompted gently.
"I've heard of a few cases of depression before, but I never expected to experience it myself." Jensa looked up into Ardeth's face and found his worried gaze upon her. His distraught features and concerned brown eyes calmed her and she found she could go on with her tale. "There is a window in our house back in New York. It's the highest one being some twenty or thirty feet off the ground. A straight fall from it to the pavement would be certain death. When we children, Michael and I were always warned to stay away from it. One day I found myself standing at the foot of the stairs that led right up to it. I thought that one jump from it would end everything. There would be no more pain and suffering. I would be free from Lyle at last. He couldn't have me or my money. From my standpoint, suicide was my only option.
So I stood at the foot of the steps just staring at the window. I'm not sure how long I stood there. Eventually, I put one foot on the bottom step and then…I saw something. I saw someone. It was you, Ardeth. I saw you as clearly then as I do now. That's when I knew that all hope wasn't lost. I wasn't sure why I saw your face, but now I know. I think it was a premonition. We would see each other again. I had hope in my heart and I took my foot off that step. This all happened awhile ago, but the hope was still in my heart somewhere. If it hadn't been, Lyle would have killed me. I would not have fought back and I would be dead, but you were there. You saved my life yet again."
She stopped and looked into the fire. Jensa was still afraid, but a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Ardeth knew the truth now.
Ardeth stared into the fire along with Jensa. She had almost taken her own life. When she had spoken of depression, he had never imagined it would go as far as her wanting to die. He felt an ache in his heart so much that his chest physically hurt. He ached for the pain she felt and he vowed to take her pain away and bring her a happiness she had never dreamed of.
He wrapped his arms protectively around her and tenderly stroked her hair. "I am so relieved you told me. Promise to never keep anything like this from me again."
"I promise, Ardeth. No more secrets. I wanted to tell you, but I was so ashamed. You're not…not disappointed in me?"
"Disappointed?" he said surprised. "Of course I am not. There is no reason for me to be disappointed in you. What happened was through no fault of yours. You are very strong in here." He placed his hand over her heart. "I know the strength of your character. You will make it and I will be here with you every step of the way."
"He's still out there, Ardeth." Jensa could not stop thinking of Lyle. "Lyle is a vengeful man. He'll want payback and I'm so scared he'll find me."
"If he does find you, he will not harm you. I am here to protect you, habibti." He took her face in his hands. "I promise he will never hurt you again. You hear me?"
Jensa nodded. Ardeth wiped her tears away with his thumbs. He lowered his head and kissed her gently. She thought it was a little shy, as if he was seeking permission. Jensa did not pull away from his touch this time and deepened the kiss. The rest of the world disappeared and only Ardeth and Jensa existed. He held her so tight the air squeezed out of her, literally taking her breath away.
It was an intoxicating build up of fiery passion only thought to exist in fairy tales…
Where had that thought come from, she wondered. Suddenly, she remembered her dream. It was like they were acting out her dream in real life. Her hands were buried in his hair. Just like in the dream. He put his arms around her tightly. Just like in the dream. Ardeth was her escape. Just like in the dream.
She broke off the kiss reluctantly. "This is what I dreamed about last night. You were there. I opened the door and you were on the other side waiting for me." Jensa excitedly told him what she had seen when she slept. "Oh, Ardeth. That's what it meant. You are my escape. You are my answer."
"You cried out for me while you slept," he revealed.
She nodded in recognition. "I don't remember what happened after that though. It was like the dream faded into oblivion. A feeling of peace settled over me."
Ardeth allowed himself a small smile. "I comforted you as you dreamed. Your tears were my own. I want to make you happy. I remember how your smile brightened your entire face," he said, caressing her smooth skin. "I want to see that smile again someday." He looked down into her eyes. They sparkled brighter than any jewels he had ever seen. "I will not let you go this time, kalila," he whispered to her. "You are mine forever." Their lips could not stay away from each other. They kissed again and again and again. She felt her heart would burst with her overwhelming sensations. The sweetness of his lips warmed her from head to toe.
They lowered to the ground. She gasped against his weight. He took to kissing the bruises on her neck, trying to erase the pain she felt. Their fingers laced together and he wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. His touch was gentle and seeking permission each time. As he stroked the soft skin of her arms, Ardeth was no longer thinking, but acting on his feelings. He gently pushed one hand above her head and then the other. Immediately, he felt Jensa tense.
Why did he push her hands above her head? Lyle had done that. He had chained her up as he tried to…
"No, Ardeth, no." Jensa pushed him off and sat up, covering her face with her hands. "Why can't I get over this?" she said sadly.
"Jen, what is wrong?" Ardeth stared at her in confusion as his breathing evened out, but his heart beat with an unusual rhythm. He still felt that a piece of it was missing. "Did I do something to upset you?" He inched closer to her and pulled her hands off of her face.
"It's not that I don't want to," she said shyly and even a small blush.
"But?"
"But when you pushed my arms above my head…" she shivered.
It took a few seconds, but the understanding came to him. Ardeth knew what she meant. "Lyle did the same to you."
She nodded. "I'm sorry."
"Do not apologize. I will never push you any farther than you want to go." Ardeth could not help but asking. "What else did he do to you?" he demanded quietly.
Jensa looked at him sharply. "Ardeth, I can't."
"Jensa, tell me. I have to know."
"Why?"
"Because I do not want my touch to remind you of him."
"All right," she yielded. Jensa recollected every sickening detail of the assault to Ardeth, who remained surprisingly calm, on the outside at least. His boiling blood reached its eruption height. Abruptly, he stood up and paced in front of the fire. Ardeth was dying to dismember Lyle. First, he would gouge out his eyes. Second, he would break every bone in his body. Third, he would slit his throat. Fourth, he would cut out his heart. Fifth, he would…
Ardeth did not finish his mental list of torturing techniques. Jensa stood before him and placed two calming hands on his chest. The front of his robes were open at the neck and Jensa rubbed his skin with her thumbs in a circular pattern. He felt the heated anger within him subsiding at her soothing touch. He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing her fingertips. Ardeth looked down into her frightened eyes and saw into the depths of her soul. Jensa had never been more vulnerable than she was at this moment, but he knew she had it within her to overcome the obstacles in her life. She was strong, but had only forgotten. In time, she would remember. Jensa had been treated maliciously by this Lyle. He understood her concerns. She was wary of men in general, but not afraid of him, and needed someone to love her the way she was meant to loved. He could show her that the world of love was not a violent one, as she believed. Her fragility put a strong urge to protect her in his heart. Ardeth put his arms around her and crushed her to his body. The air expelled from her chest at the force of his grip.
"Ardeth, your touch does not remind me of Lyle. Just by the way you hold me now proves the difference. It is everything that his wasn't. I hated for him to touch me. It made my skin crawl. But I love to feel your caress. It was always gentle, like this." She caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. "I wish I could instantly forget, but—--"
"Say no more. I understand." And he did understand. He was disappointed of course, but they had the rest of their lives to be together. He bent his head down to nuzzle her neck and inhaled the feminine scent of her hair deeply. The heat of his breath made her shiver. "Everything will change, Jensa," he said into her hair. "I will do everything in my power to change it for you."
After an eternity in each other's embrace, they pulled apart. Ardeth stuck his hand inside his robes and pulled out the necklace. He unclasped it and pulled the ring off. Once he slipped it back on her finger, his hand closed over hers. "You may wear it without fear now."
"I'm so glad. I hated having to always keep it hidden under my clothes."
"You kept it close to your heart all these years."
"Knowing that you gave it to me was always a comfort. I really missed you." She looked shyly down to the ground. "I thought about you all the time."
Ardeth smiled with pleasure. "I thought of you too." Briefly, he was sad as he remembered the past. "The day you left was more torment than I have ever felt. I wanted to see you, to hold you in my arms one last time, but I could not. I would have surely died. Instead, I hid in the shadows until I could see the ship no more and even longer afterwards. Part of me was hoping you would have one final act of defiance towards your father and stay here, but that was not what I should have been dwelling on. Your return, as you promised, consumed me for some years. One sunset followed another and another and you did not come. I hoped that you had settled into your home and into the world around you. I eventually stopped believing that you would keep the promise you made to me." Ardeth stared up at the sky. "The past does not matter anymore. Only the present. We are here together now and that's all that matters to me. You returned."
Jensa planted a kiss on the small exposed portion of his chest and snuggled into his robes. She sighed contentedly and said, "It's so peaceful out here under the stars. Quiet too. I have always loved the desert. I can hear myself think. I didn't live in a very populated part of New York, but I did visit the large cities. It was entirely too noisy. People shouting. Cars roaring by honking their horns, splashing you with muddy water if it had rained the day before. I suppose I could be bias, having lived here for so many years that I didn't even give the big city life a chance, but I can't help it. Egypt is my home and always will be."
Jensa pulled back to look him in the eye. "I tried to make things work with Lyle. I really did and I tried to forget you so much that it was frustrating. I thought if I could have been happy with him, then I would forget about you. How wrong I was! I could never and will never forget you. I don't want to. As the years passed by, I realized I loved you more everyday. It would have been wrong of me to marry someone else when you were all I thought about. You filled my dreams, both day and night. I want to be honest with you about everything. It must hurt you to hear that I tried to move on in a life without you and I am so sorry if it did, but I don't want to keep any of my feelings from you again. It was physically impossible to keep you out of my head. Everything I looked at turned into an image of you. You're not upset are you?"
"I am not. I understand," he said. He had mentioned several times already that he understood.
"You really do, don't you?"
"No one knows you better than I do."
She nodded her agreement. "All that time Lyle was in my life, I was so afraid of what my future was going to be like."
"You do not have to be afraid anymore. From now on, we will be together. We always knew we belonged with one another, but we were too young and are now of age. We shall be married and have a long and happy life together."
Jensa's eyes widened. "You can marry me?" She jumped back from him in shock.
He gave her one of his rare smiles as he pulled her back to him, refusing to be parted from her. "I can marry any woman I choose. I have certain privileges as the leader. It does not matter if they object. I would marry you anyway." She smiled warmly. There was that arrogance, but she did not care. It was a part of him and she loved every part. "You are pleased?"
"Absolutely." She threw her arms around his neck. He picked her up and swung her around and around. She giggled delightedly. After he put her down, they were both a little dizzy and laughed as they clung to each other to get their equilibrium back. The dizziness passed and they settled down for the night, falling asleep in each other's arms.
* * *
Much to their dismay, the return to Cairo was inevitable. Jensa wished they could stay in the desert forever just wandering along the sand. Ardeth tied Ahmar's reins to Jensa's saddle, taking the opportunity to ride the beautiful Asal. Jensa sat in front of him with his arm encircling her waist. Asal seemed pleased with the situation and trotted along happily. Jensa rested her head against Ardeth's shoulder. The swaying of the horse lulled her into a relaxed state, as well as the man she loved.
"Jensa."
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, I was just thinking of your name. It is beautiful. Does it have a meaning?"
"No, my parents went for a couple of weeks without having a name for me. For awhile, I was simply referred to as "the baby". They took the first three letters of Jennifer and the first two of Samuel and combined them."
"They made an excellent choice," he said kissing the top of her head.
"It shows how unique I truly am."
"Yes," he agreed, "you are one of a kind."
"The original belongs to you."
He laughed and said, "For all eternity."
Jensa loved the vibration of his voice against her back. She felt warm and tingly inside.
They talked more. She told him about her time at the university and everything she learned. He told her of the Med-jai. An excited note filled his voice. He could not wait to take her there. It was located in a remote area. No one of any threat would ever be able to find it without them knowing. Jensa expressed great interest and impatience at the prospect of seeing it for the first time.
Ardeth was overjoyed that she had such a longing to see his village. "All in good time, Jensa. You will see it very soon."
"Fine," she said annoyed, "I guess I'll just have to be patient."
"Tell me more of your time at the university."
"Well, there's not much more. Oh, except that was when Michael taught me how to shoot and fight with a sword. You know what a troublemaker he is, so he had to learn to fight to keep himself from getting killed." She laughed. "Once, Mother and Daddy came to visit for a few days. They walked right in on us while I had Michael pinned against the wall with the sword point at his throat. Mother was horrified while Daddy laughed his head off. That was how I spent most of my free time, training with Michael. I threw myself into my studies of course. Daddy wanted me to learn as much as I could about archaeology and Egyptology. He said forget all that other stuff, reading, writing and 'rithmetic. I had already learned the basics when I was a child. He wanted my mind to revolve completely around the ancient history. Most of it I already knew because Daddy made sure my first word was Egypt and from the things you told me over the years, school was a breeze." She took a deep breath and asked, "How is your arm feeling?"
"It is quickly on the mend." Earlier that morning, she had changed the dressing on his wound. Her doctoring was helping it to heal quickly. It would likely only leave a small scar. "I do not envy anyone who is forced to fight against you, as I have had a taste of your capabilities. You are quite the formidable opponent."
"Wow, I must be better than I thought."
"Why is that?"
"To get such a compliment from you, who has more experience than I. I'll bet you've known how to fight since you were born."
"Training does start early for a young man seeking to be a warrior."
"How old were you when you began training?"
"I was in my fifth year. My father taught me the skills I use today. I owe every piece of knowledge I have to him." Ardeth was silent for some minutes.
"You still miss him, don't you?" she asked softly.
"It has been fifteen years since his death and I still mourn him. I have wished to see him again, to ask him what I should do. Many times, I have been in great need of his advice. He always knew exactly how to proceed."
And you don't? Jensa didn't speak out loud. She felt Ardeth always knew what to do. It was a bit of a surprise to her to see that Ardeth could be unsure of himself. He seemed to be in control all of the time. Ardeth appeared to be invinscible to all that threatened his world. Well, he was only mortal, like everyone else on the planet. Jensa liked to think of him as indestructible, but these could be dangerous thoughts to entertain. He was just as destructible as she was. Well, not as destructible as she was, she chided herself. Ardeth felt physical and emotional pain just as heavily as she did. He still missed his father. Much more than she had realized. The previous Med-jai chieftain had died long before she met Ardeth. Maybe that explained why Ardeth had been such a reserved person in his teens. He carried the weight of the biggest responsibility Jensa could think of. He was only eleven when he was forced to continue the three thousand year old tradition of his people.
Jensa recalled the first time she met Ardeth. She hadn't thought about it in awhile. She had been nine years old and Ardeth fourteen.
After a busy morning of shopping in the souk with her mother and brother, Jensa got lost in the crowds and ended up in a very seedy part of the marketplace. Before her was a commotion. A group of very tall, muscled men in black robes with veils to conceal their olive features were dealing with a thief who had tried to steal their horses. The thief proceeded to attack them and whipped out a scimitar. One of the tall men started forward to dispatch the enemy when a hand rose in the air stopping him in his tracks. The little Jensa then noticed another black-robed figure. He was a little shorter than the others, but nonetheless imposing to look at, and produced his own scimitar. He was going to fight the thief. Jensa watched with mesmerization at the fluidity of the moves executed by the robed fighter. It was a graceful yet deadly display of art. With a quick flick of the wrist, the thief's scimitar was knocked into the air and another impaled through his stomach. The little girl watched all of this with wide eyes. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew she should be horrified at the red pool forming around the thief, but was not frightened at all. In fact, she was impressed. The thief had been defeated by someone much smaller than him. Besides, it was his own fault. If he hadn't tried to steal the horses in the first place, he wouldn't have such a large hole in his stomach.
It was inevitable that she should be noticed by the people in black robes. They had congratulated the smaller one for his victory and each in turn, clapped him on the back. The one who had killed the thief did a double take when he saw her. He approached her and expected her to run off as most people did when they saw one of his kind coming. She nearly knocked him down with surprise and stood immobile as he stopped within one foot. The girl child showed no signs of fear and his interest was sparked at such an unusual creature. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her clothes gave her away as being of Western origin. She was wearing a frilly pink dress, white stockings and black buckled T-straps. She had pink bows tied randomly through her long, curly dark brown hair. But what grabbed his attention the most was her green eyes. They sparkled brighter than the greenest emeralds and gave the impression of not missing much. Her innocent appearance was a ruse for she saw more than most adults thought.
He pulled down his veil and squatted down to her level. "Hello," he spoke perfect, though heavily accented English.
"Hello." She stared at him in wonder. He had two dark blue tattoos on his cheekbones. His breath caught in his throat when she reached out and touched them. "What're these?"
"They are who I am."
"And who are you?"
"I am Ardeth Bay. Who might you be?"
"Jensa James," she said proudly.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jensa James." Ardeth took her hand and kissed the back of it, producing a delighted giggle from the child.
"What are you doing here by yourself? It is quite unsafe to be alone in the souk."
"I got lost. I was with my brother and mother. We were separated."
"Then it is my duty to see you safely returned to them." He stood to his full height. Jensa stared up at the tower in wonder. Ardeth held out his hand. She took it without hesitation. Again, she surprised him with her immediate trust. Foreigners were generally mistrustful of his people. It bothered him some that she would so willingly give another her trust. This part of Cairo was not the best place for trusting people. She was very lucky it had been he who found her. Another such as the thief he killed could have taken and done unspeakable things to her. It angered him as he thought of anyone harming this innocent child. He looked back to the other men he was with and spoke to them in his language. Ardeth tightened his grip on her soft tiny hand and pulled her along the street.
He asked where she was last with her family and she directed him to one of the vendors selling an abundance of material for clothing. She did not see her family, mostly because she was shorter than everyone else, so he hoisted her up onto his shoulder. Jensa scanned the crowd and excitedly pointed.
"I see them!"
Ardeth moved Jensa off his shoulder and into his arm then carried her over to her parents. Her mother was telling her father that Jensa was gone. She was crying as her husband tried to calm her. Her brother spotted her first, being carried by a young boy near his own age in black robes.
"Dad, Mom, look!"
Ardeth set Jensa down and she ran into her mother's waiting arms. She held her and cried her thanks to God loudly. Ardeth noticed Jensa's father looking at him with a rather livid expression.
"You are Med-jai," he accused.
"I am."
"What were you doing with my daughter?"
"I found her by herself. It is not safe for a child to be left alone."
"Do you dare accuse me of abandoning my child?" Mr. James' face turned red with anger.
"I accuse you of nothing." Ardeth did not want to argue any further. He had brought her back safely and now he would never see them again. Strangely enough, he was disappointed that he would not be seeing the little girl again. She had impressed him with her fearless venture by herself to see a man killed in front of her without so much as shedding a tear. He wanted to talk to her more and find the reason for her fearless attitude, but that would not be possible. They were from two very different worlds and he was not welcome in hers.
"Thank you for bringing her to us," said her mother.
Ardeth nodded once to her and turned to take his leave of them. Jensa called out to him. "Bye Ardeth!"
He looked back, smiled and waved. "Good-bye, Miss Jensa."
Jensa sighed as she remembered that day. One thing she would never forget was the reaction her father had when he learned it was Ardeth Bay who had found her alone in the souk. He had not been even remotely happy when he realized that it was the son of the man whom he had come to have a seething hatred for.
"Jensa, what did you call him?"
"Ardeth. He said his name was Ardeth Bay." She didn't notice the look her parents exchanged.
"So the Med-jai leader has a son who bears his name." Mr. James recalled the events of his first introduction to the existence of Hamunaptra…and the Med-jai.
That had been the forging of a friendship more wonderful than she could ever imagine. The next few times Jensa had gone into the souk with her parents, she looked for Ardeth Bay, but it was not until two months later that she saw him. As the years went by, their friendship grew and Ardeth came into Cairo more than he used to just to pay special visits to his "best friend". Jensa had dubbed him that not long after they met. It was also the start of Jensa's defiance of her father's wishes. She began sneaking out to see him when Mr. James had denied her any more visits with the Med-jai leader. Occasionally, Ardeth climbed up the lattice railing to her room. They would stay up all night talking. He told her stories of ancient Egypt and she told him all about New York.
A quiet knock echoed from the balcony into her room. Jensa sprung off her bed and excitedly threw open her balcony doors. Ardeth stood there waiting to see her. In the dark of night and of his robes, his white teeth glowed like the stars when he smiled at her. Jensa ushered him into her room and shut the doors. She threw her arms around her friend.
"I'm so happy to see you, Ardeth. It's been too long."
"Nearly six months," he replied. "I am sorry I missed your birthday."
"Oh, that?" she shrugged off the apology as she lit a lantern and plopped down in the center of her bed. "That's no big deal. I only turned thirteen. Besides, I haven't seen you in six long boring months. I'd much rather talk about you than my birthday." Jensa noticed there was something different about him. "Hey, you grew a beard! When did that happen?"
Ardeth chuckled and stroked his newly grown whiskers. "Around two months ago. Does it suit me?"
"Yes, it does. You look older and wiser. May I?"
He nodded and crawled onto the bed next to her. She ran her fingers over the soft facial hair. "I think I prefer you this way."
"I am pleased you are pleased."
"So what have you been up to? And don't spare me the gory details."
Ardeth smiled good-naturedly at his friend's enthusiasm. "There have been many attacks on our neighboring tribe, the Na'od. For hundreds of generations, there has been nothing but war between the Na'od and their enemies, the Yenshei. The Na'od are not great in number. They have nearly been eradicated from the desert sands through the course of their existence. The Na'od are peaceful in their ways. We give aid to them when we can. This campaign was far more successful than the last. The Yenshei were easily defeated. They believe the small number and peaceful ways of the Na'od makes them not only vulnerable, but ignorant in the art of battle. They have quietly watched their enemies attack them, learning their strengths and weaknesses. The Na'od warriors fought well, taking their nemesis by surprise. It is a worthy cause to fight alongside them. There has been great hardship, but they have survived and I believe their tribe will flourish as it did in ancient times."
"Why do the Yenshei hate the Na'od so much?"
"Centuries ago, a girl from the Yenshei fell in love with a boy from the Na'od. Neither was allowed to marry outside of the tribe, but they took advantage of what time they did have together. The girl became very ill and spread her disease throughout the tribe. Some had seen the lovers meeting each other and believed she caught the disease from the Na'od boy. After several deaths, the Yenshei declared war and it has been nothing but carnage since that day."
"The girl didn't really catch it from the boy did she?" Jensa asked.
"I am not certain, as this happened long ago, but it is rumored the disease was susceptible to those of her bloodline."
"Fighting all these years for nothing. How petty of them. It is ridiculous to hold a grudge for hundreds of years. It has brought nothing but pain and suffering. For you as well. You've had to step in and help them, taking your own losses I'm sure."
He nodded regrettably.
"That's a sad story."
"Then I shall tell you another story that is not sad."
Jensa's interest was instantly piqued. "Another story of the ancient times?" she asked eagerly.
"Yes. Have you ever heard the legend of the Scorpion King?"
Jensa shivered. The mere name of the man oozed malicious evil. "I've heard his name mentioned somewhere, but not the whole story. He's supposedly pure myth. No trace of any record anywhere has ever been found."
Sinking back against her pillows, Jensa eagerly paid attention to Ardeth's every word. He told the best legends. His voice was calm and soothing and made her feel like she really was in the ancient times. Ancient Egyptian facts and follies were her most favorite things in the world.
"Five thousand years ago, a fierce warrior known as the Scorpion King…
"You are very quiet, Jen."
She felt herself pulled from her reverie. "I was just thinking about the past, especially the first time we met."
"Ah, that is truly a day that will forever be in my mind. It was one of the happiest in my life to meet you."
"Mine too."
"I think that perhaps I loved you the moment I noticed you standing off to the side watching us. Women ten years your senior would have cried, screamed or fainted, but you did nothing of the sort. I believe you were fascinated by the entire situation."
"Well, it was unlike anything I had ever seen before."
"What were you thinking of?"
"I felt like I was traveling in the land of giants, having always been so short and when I saw the Med-jai for the first time, I suddenly believed that the Jack and the Beanstalk story was true, especially the part about the giant. There were near ten of you. The very atmosphere around you was thick with tension. The vendors and natives avoided your eyes, like your very look would kill them where they stood. Your position demands respect and you certainly have that, although that man who stole your horses was either blind or just plain stupid and then he tried to attack you! I think that proves he was stupid. When you stepped in to fight him, it was like watching a choreographed scene. How could anyone have achieved such graceful fluid movements?
"I can't believe that in the very near future I will be part of your world. I know that it is a grand one. I have heard many rumors and legends about the Med-jai, but I feel a sense of pride knowing that I will become one of these people who have such an important role in this world. I don't really know what quite to expect, but I do know that it will be more wonderful than anything I've ever imagined."
Yes, he thought, that is when I loved you. Ardeth turned Jensa's face up to his. He stared down into the emerald green pools and dove in. She felt as if she would crumble to pieces if not for Ardeth's arm around her. He kissed with a tenderness that she had not known he possessed in his being. It was not passionate in a lustful sense, but full of his passion for the woman she was and would become by his side as they grew old together.
Jensa became quiet again. He asked, "What is it this time?"
"I'm just surprised that you loved me for so long and I didn't realize it. Why didn't you say anything?"
"We were children. Does it bother you?"
"A little bit. For seven years, you loved me and I never gave one thought to love until I found out that my dad was forcing me to go back to New York."
"I fought my feelings because I knew your father would disapprove, as I am sure he still does."
"I wish I had known."
"What could you have done about it?"
"Well, I could have…I don't know. Nothing I guess."
"Precisely. It does not matter which one of us loved the other first. We are together now. Nothing else matters."
"You're right. I'm just being silly."
"Yes, you are. Look at me." Jensa looked back at him and he kissed her.
She sighed wistfully. "I wish I had known him."
"Allah, woman, what do you speak of now? You go from one thing to another," he said with mock exasperation.
"I was talking about your father again and was thinking about how young you were when you became the leader and then I thought about the first time we met. Have I confused you completely now?"
"No, Jen," he chuckled. "I wish you had known him too. He would have loved you."
"Would he have approved of you marrying a Westerner?"
"Yes, he would have. My grandmother, his mother, was from Italy."
"I didn't know that!" she exclaimed. "So you are part Italian." That explains the devilish good looks, she thought.
"Yes, so you see, he would have approved of you. Now, what were we originally talking about?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Oh, wait a minute! Sword fighting!" she cried triumphantly.
"We have covered much in the last hour, swordplay, my father and the first time we met," he commented.
"You know, that night was the first time I've actually fought anyone for real," she ignored the comment and continued on another train of thought.
Ardeth smiled into her hair. She was making him dizzy. "Impressive, but I do not want you to be forced to fight anyone again."
"I hope I won't have to," she said quietly.
The two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence, reveling in the fact that after such a long time apart they were finally together. This turn of events was completely unexpected for Jensa. After returning to Egypt, the last thing she had wanted was to become involved with another man. The last relationship, after all, had nearly killed her. Literally. And here she was, the love of her life keeping a strong arm possessively wrapped around her, and suddenly it became so clear. The fates had dealt her a winning hand. Ardeth had proposed, more or less. He hadn't actually asked for her hand. It was more like a command the way he was used to giving people, but Jensa did not mind in the least. This was right. Never before in her life had she felt such solid rock beneath her feet.
Ardeth kept a firm grasp on his love. He allowed himself this moment of relaxation because he knew it would not last. Eventually, Cairo would be in view and they would return to the busy lives they lived, but they would be living them together from now on. He would press for a quick wedding. The elders would not be pleased to hear he was planning a union with an outsider, but he would not be forced to wed a woman that only loved his leadership. Ardeth had seen many unhappy marriages that had been arranged within his village. He had been aware of their unhappiness even as a child. His parents had loved one another and he vowed to himself that he would one day have this same love. He had found the woman he was destined to be with.
With Ardeth's chin resting on her head, Jensa stared up at the sky watching the sun's rays stretching out at them like a massive pair of protective arms.