Diaper Disaster
Disclaimer: "Toad get yer ass back here with my disclaimer.." -SR
~ ~ ~ ~
The new guys had to help the Misfits clean up the house while the adults were heading over for yet another meeting with Hawk together with Ravnos and Rupert. Wanda found herself working beside the guy with the heavy metal getup, "Where did you guys come from?" Wanda asked.
"All over the place. My codename's Orpheus by the way."
"What's your real name?" Wanda asked.
"Tom Banes, New York City."
"Wanda Maximoff, Bayville."
"No kidding," Tom replied, he was the youngest of the entire group at seventeen, with a black AC/DC t-shirt, brown cargo trousers and an olive drab cargo vest, "That's not that far from where I grew up."
"You're so young, how did you wind up in the army?" Wanda asked.
"We're a freelance group, essentially mercenaries. We've been fighting COBRA on our own for nearly three years, since Ravnos rescued me from a COBRA laboratory." Tom replied.
Wanda said, "I can empathize with you, my father locked me in a mental ward when I was nine."
"Why? You seem like a nice girl to me." Tom replied.
"Nice? Nice and my sister do not go together!" Pietro said, "So you're a mutant huh, what are your powers?"
Tom pointed to a half broken dish and it shattered with a high frequency sound wave. "Cool!" Pietro said, when he saw Wanda powering up he said, "Uh Oh! Gotta run!"
"Come back here and get clobbered!" Wanda shouted and started chasing Quicksilver with hex bolts and a few more heavy objects.
"Touchy isn't she?" Tom said to no one in particular.
"Yes."
"Where did you come from? Where are you?" Tom asked.
"Right in front of you." Xi said and materialized.
"So you came from a COBRA lab as well?" Xi said.
"Actually they took me out of an orphanage shortly after my powers manifested." Tom said, for someone who just saw Xi for the first time, he was calm.
Xi touched his hair and Tom was about to pull back, "I won't harm you." Xi said.
"What are you doing?" Tom asked.
"This is how I determine who and what you are." Xi replied.
"Fire away." Tom replied.
"You can control sound waves as well as fire sonic blasts." Xi said.
"Uh oh. I hate to break this conversation up but we've got trouble brewing." Lance added, walking down the stairs.
"Awk! Run for your lives! Run for your lives! Awk!" Polly came flapping out of the babies room. Freddy and Ferdy, the two red haired British soldiers were trying to handle Claudius and Barney.
"BAA!" Barney shouted and whacked Freddy on the head with his whiffle bat.
"I told you the kid doesn't like other people touching his bat." Blob said, poking his head inside.
Claudius was making a fine mess with the baby powder as Ferdy was chasing him around the room trying to catch him. "I'll help, somebody's gotta put some sanity back in this place." El Cabong said.
"NO! NO! NO!" Freddy and Ferdy shouted, "You'll traumatize those poor babies for LIFE!"
"You amigos just don't appreciate talent do you?" said El Cabong, he was a white kid from Texas with an affected Spanish accent. He pulled his guitar from off his back.
"Put that guitar away!" Freddy shouted, pointing a hair dryer at El Cabong.
"Don't force me to use this!!!" Ferdy echoed, holding Barney who held his little whiffle bat.
"Kids love music, maybe this will put them down for their nap." El Cabong replied.
"No, don't let him play that guitar!" Ferdy shouted.
"AAAGGGHH!!!!" Freddy shouted, "EVAC! EVAC!"
"You boys just don't appreciate talent." El Cabong said as he sat the babies down on a little floor mat as Freddy and Ferdy ran screaming out of the babies' room and jumped out of the nearest window.
"Well, let me sing you kids a song with my trusty cabong-er" El Cabong replied.
"Oh God no!" Tom replied as he walked up the stairs, "Get as far away as possible. This will scar you for LIFE!"
El Cabong ignored them and started to sing to the tune of When You Wish Upon A Star with his badly out of tune guitar, his trusty cabong-er, playing, "When you wish upon a side of beef. I will come and take away your grief, but if you've been mean or kinda bad, I will knock out all your teeth."
"Do I hear an encore?" El Cabong asked.
Instantly both Claudius and Barney threw a tantrum, "NO! NO! NO!"
"NO!" Barney shouted and whacked El Cabong in the right leg with his whiffle bat.
"NO NO NO!" Claudius shouted and whacked El Cabong's other leg with his flipper. Barney climbed up El Cabong's legs and whacked him in the head with his whiffle bat.
Both babies came crawling out of the room. "Oh no!" Tom shouted and started to chase the babies. Both went right between his legs.
Wanda appeared and said, "I'll help you!"
"Where's Quicksilver!" Lance shouted as he joined them.
"Glued to the ceiling." Wanda replied.
"Get me down! Get me down!!!" Pietro shouted from the ceiling of the house where Wanda had superglued him.
"How do these kids move so fast?" Tom shouted.
"Tom, you'll get used to this, trust me." Wanda replied.
"Watch out!" Tom shouted as Barney's whiffle bat hit Lance on the head.
"Avalanche down!" Wanda shouted as she chased Claudius down.
"Guys! Not like that!" Althea shouted, "Come here you."
Althea carried Claudius who gurgled happily. "Now where's Barney?"
"Here he is honey!" Toad shouted, carrying Barney.
"OK, that takes care of all of us." Tom asked, "But I can't help but think that we're missing something."
"AAAGGGGGHHHH!!! Save me!" came the scream from up stairs.
"Help! AGH! Help!" came another scream.
"HELP US! HELP US!!!!" came another scream.
"Jay and Silent Bob." Tom said, "It's coming from the Triplets' room."
"Oh no. Stay here you guys, I'll handle this." Althea said.
"Is this place always like this?" Tom asked Wanda.
"You have no idea?"
Disclaimer: "Toad get yer ass back here with my disclaimer.." -SR
~ ~ ~ ~
The new guys had to help the Misfits clean up the house while the adults were heading over for yet another meeting with Hawk together with Ravnos and Rupert. Wanda found herself working beside the guy with the heavy metal getup, "Where did you guys come from?" Wanda asked.
"All over the place. My codename's Orpheus by the way."
"What's your real name?" Wanda asked.
"Tom Banes, New York City."
"Wanda Maximoff, Bayville."
"No kidding," Tom replied, he was the youngest of the entire group at seventeen, with a black AC/DC t-shirt, brown cargo trousers and an olive drab cargo vest, "That's not that far from where I grew up."
"You're so young, how did you wind up in the army?" Wanda asked.
"We're a freelance group, essentially mercenaries. We've been fighting COBRA on our own for nearly three years, since Ravnos rescued me from a COBRA laboratory." Tom replied.
Wanda said, "I can empathize with you, my father locked me in a mental ward when I was nine."
"Why? You seem like a nice girl to me." Tom replied.
"Nice? Nice and my sister do not go together!" Pietro said, "So you're a mutant huh, what are your powers?"
Tom pointed to a half broken dish and it shattered with a high frequency sound wave. "Cool!" Pietro said, when he saw Wanda powering up he said, "Uh Oh! Gotta run!"
"Come back here and get clobbered!" Wanda shouted and started chasing Quicksilver with hex bolts and a few more heavy objects.
"Touchy isn't she?" Tom said to no one in particular.
"Yes."
"Where did you come from? Where are you?" Tom asked.
"Right in front of you." Xi said and materialized.
"So you came from a COBRA lab as well?" Xi said.
"Actually they took me out of an orphanage shortly after my powers manifested." Tom said, for someone who just saw Xi for the first time, he was calm.
Xi touched his hair and Tom was about to pull back, "I won't harm you." Xi said.
"What are you doing?" Tom asked.
"This is how I determine who and what you are." Xi replied.
"Fire away." Tom replied.
"You can control sound waves as well as fire sonic blasts." Xi said.
"Uh oh. I hate to break this conversation up but we've got trouble brewing." Lance added, walking down the stairs.
"Awk! Run for your lives! Run for your lives! Awk!" Polly came flapping out of the babies room. Freddy and Ferdy, the two red haired British soldiers were trying to handle Claudius and Barney.
"BAA!" Barney shouted and whacked Freddy on the head with his whiffle bat.
"I told you the kid doesn't like other people touching his bat." Blob said, poking his head inside.
Claudius was making a fine mess with the baby powder as Ferdy was chasing him around the room trying to catch him. "I'll help, somebody's gotta put some sanity back in this place." El Cabong said.
"NO! NO! NO!" Freddy and Ferdy shouted, "You'll traumatize those poor babies for LIFE!"
"You amigos just don't appreciate talent do you?" said El Cabong, he was a white kid from Texas with an affected Spanish accent. He pulled his guitar from off his back.
"Put that guitar away!" Freddy shouted, pointing a hair dryer at El Cabong.
"Don't force me to use this!!!" Ferdy echoed, holding Barney who held his little whiffle bat.
"Kids love music, maybe this will put them down for their nap." El Cabong replied.
"No, don't let him play that guitar!" Ferdy shouted.
"AAAGGGHH!!!!" Freddy shouted, "EVAC! EVAC!"
"You boys just don't appreciate talent." El Cabong said as he sat the babies down on a little floor mat as Freddy and Ferdy ran screaming out of the babies' room and jumped out of the nearest window.
"Well, let me sing you kids a song with my trusty cabong-er" El Cabong replied.
"Oh God no!" Tom replied as he walked up the stairs, "Get as far away as possible. This will scar you for LIFE!"
El Cabong ignored them and started to sing to the tune of When You Wish Upon A Star with his badly out of tune guitar, his trusty cabong-er, playing, "When you wish upon a side of beef. I will come and take away your grief, but if you've been mean or kinda bad, I will knock out all your teeth."
"Do I hear an encore?" El Cabong asked.
Instantly both Claudius and Barney threw a tantrum, "NO! NO! NO!"
"NO!" Barney shouted and whacked El Cabong in the right leg with his whiffle bat.
"NO NO NO!" Claudius shouted and whacked El Cabong's other leg with his flipper. Barney climbed up El Cabong's legs and whacked him in the head with his whiffle bat.
Both babies came crawling out of the room. "Oh no!" Tom shouted and started to chase the babies. Both went right between his legs.
Wanda appeared and said, "I'll help you!"
"Where's Quicksilver!" Lance shouted as he joined them.
"Glued to the ceiling." Wanda replied.
"Get me down! Get me down!!!" Pietro shouted from the ceiling of the house where Wanda had superglued him.
"How do these kids move so fast?" Tom shouted.
"Tom, you'll get used to this, trust me." Wanda replied.
"Watch out!" Tom shouted as Barney's whiffle bat hit Lance on the head.
"Avalanche down!" Wanda shouted as she chased Claudius down.
"Guys! Not like that!" Althea shouted, "Come here you."
Althea carried Claudius who gurgled happily. "Now where's Barney?"
"Here he is honey!" Toad shouted, carrying Barney.
"OK, that takes care of all of us." Tom asked, "But I can't help but think that we're missing something."
"AAAGGGGGHHHH!!! Save me!" came the scream from up stairs.
"Help! AGH! Help!" came another scream.
"HELP US! HELP US!!!!" came another scream.
"Jay and Silent Bob." Tom said, "It's coming from the Triplets' room."
"Oh no. Stay here you guys, I'll handle this." Althea said.
"Is this place always like this?" Tom asked Wanda.
"You have no idea?"