Endure No More.
Part 5.

Disclaimer: If it has anything to do with Dark Angel or its production company, then it's not mine. I wish I did own something, but I don't.

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"Dix! Dix! Where are you? I need you to help me track Alec down," Max said as she rushed into headquarters. "I know you can't tell me where he is. But, there's nothing to stop you from helping me is there?" she asked hopefully, her eyes twinkling for the first time since she found out Alec had left. She had a plan and couldn't wait to put it into action.

"Umm . . . I don't know Max," Dix replied hesitantly. "Alec was pretty adamant that he didn't want you finding him."

"I know," she answered despondently. "I know he left feeling rejected, lonely and miserable . . . but he doesn't know how I really feel about him," she continued.

"HA! That's what you think." Mole had to add his two cents worth. There was no way he was going to let 'little miss bitchy bitch' think that she had any power left over Alec or more importantly that he left a broken dejected man when he hadn't. "Alec left here happy and excited. He's looking forward to getting on with his life without you complicating and confusing him. Just leave him alone."

"I wish I could, but I . . . I um . . . I love him," she whispered seriously. She knew that she needed to have Mole and Dix believe her. Without them she would never find Alec.

"I know you don't believe me, but I really do love Alec. I didn't know how to express my feelings. I mean, look at my life so far. I've managed to survive by hiding my feelings from the people around me. It's what I do best. I don't know how else to act. But I am going to try and change. I need to try if I want Alec back, and I DO want him back. I have to let him know how I feel and how much I care for him. If he still doesn't want anything to do with me . . . well I'll . . . I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Yeah right," replied Mole. She sounded sincere, but she still had a long way to go before he believed her. "I want Alec back here as much, if not more than you. BUT, I want him here because he wants to be here, not because you need him here as your excuse for all your 'so-called' problems. I'm not going to help you because you haven't completely convinced me that you truly love, respect or even deserve Alec, but . . . I won't stand in your way," the last added very reluctantly.

"What about you Dix? Will you help me?"

"Fine Max," Dix answered resignedly. "I'll help you, but you tell me what to do. I'm not offering any suggestions or ideas."

Max was hoping for more than this, but she knew she was lucky to even have this much from Mole and Dix. She understood their reluctance to help her; they didn't want to see Alec get hurt but that didn't mean to say she wasn't disappointed.

"Thanks guys," she said with a small, grateful smile on her face. "OK guys here's the plan. Dix I need you to hack into Eyes Only."

"Why don't you go straight to the horse's mouth?" queried Dix, "It would be quicker, not much mind you," he said with a depreciating grin, "than me cracking his codes."

"Yeah, well, I decided it was time for me to make some changes in my life, I have to, if I have any hope in regaining Alec's trust and hopefully love. One of the changes I realised I had to make was to accept who I am - a transgenic. I don't need any ordinary to accept me as human. I'm not completely human and I never will be. And the best part is now I don't want to be an ordinary.

"Blah, blah, blah . . . cut the crap and tell us the real reason." Mole could see straight through Max.

"Fine," she said grumpily. How dare Mole see through her great excuse? Now she would have to admit how wrong she had been about her relationship with Logan.

"With Alec gone I realised just how boring Logan was. There is no fire, no passion, no anything in our relationship. There never was, not even before the virus. With Alec I got all the fire and passion I needed. Now my life is flat, blah and so boring. I never realised how much I enjoyed having Alec around until he left. I need to find him and try to tell him how I feel."

"That still doesn't explain why you don't want to ask Logan for help in finding Alec." Mole still didn't believe that reason even though he had a feeling it was almost the truth.

"What is it with you Mole? Are you never satisfied with my reasons?"

"No, because I think there's more to it, and I want to know what it is," he retorted.

"The guy scares me now. He's creepy, especially those rubber gloves," she muttered under her breath. "He's controlling and manipulative, he's got the emotions of a fish and he doesn't care about anyone but himself and his 'oh so important' Eyes Only missions. Alec always had my back in those missions. Now I realise that he saved me so many times from danger and I didn't even realise it. Danger that my so-called 'we're not like that boyfriend' put me into with no concern for my safety. Now I'm just starting to see how pathetic we were. I mean we had one year and we couldn't find the perfect time. I'd jump Alec in a heartbeat, but I had to force myself to go to Logan's place for dinner." Max stopped her tirade when she saw grins light up their faces.

"Oops," she said blushing. "Please tell me I didn't say that last sentence out loud."

"If it was the one about you jumping Alec in a heartbeat, then yes, you did say that last sentence out loud," Mole said. He was having fun making Max squirm. "And it's about time you finally admitted it as well. Pity it's too late to tell Alec that now. Your timing's crap, as usual."

"But it's not too late to tell Alec," Max said, excitement in her voice. "That's why I need Dix to hack into Eyes Only. I'm going to do my own version of an Eyes Only broadcast. I just hope Alec's watching."

"And if he isn't watching?"

"Then I'll keep trying until he does see it," she said resolutely. There was no way Alec would ignore the broadcast when he saw it, she would make sure of that. "And if that doesn't work, I'll try something else. I WILL get Alec back. I have to." The last sentence was so heart wrenching and quiet that the two transgenics almost missed it.

Mole and Dix could see the determination, not only in her eyes, but also in her whole body posture. She was not going to give up on Alec no matter how hard it got. Maybe, just maybe, she had a shot at getting Alec back. If she succeeded then maybe, just maybe, she might be worthy of Alec after all.