Choices Made, Roads Taken.
Chapter 4: The Long Goodbye, part 1
What has happened so far: Jeff Anderson, retired superhero, receives a call from Kasumi Tendo. She correctly guesses that Ranma has gone to reveal his curse to his mother despite the 'man among men' seppuku pledge. His execution, delayed by Nodoka making arrangements for Genma's capture, is stopped in the nick of time by Jeff. Nodoka declares Ranma a man among men and the suicide pact is destroyed. Ranma, feeling that this particular brush with death was too close, decides he is going to take up Jeff's offer of getting out of the country for a while.
But first, preparations have to be made and certain people informed of what is going on.
-----
It had been a long night. The city of Tokyo was beginning to stir on a cool Monday morning. Ranma, Kasumi, Genma and Jeff changed trains three times on their way back to Nerima, with the number of riders growing at each stop. Fortunately, the real heavy traffic wouldn't start for another hour or so.
Jeff had been able to change some money at Ikebukuro Station and looked forward to going to Ucchan's for some okonomiyaki. Although Ukyo had given Jeff some recipes before he'd left the last time, his best efforts weren't anywhere near as good as what Ukyo made.
Genma unexpectedly declined the offer of breakfast. He wanted his pack and he wanted it now. He didn't own much, but there were things in that pack that shouldn't be left unattended. So it was Jeff who entered Ucchan's ahead of Ranma and Kasumi.
Ukyo began her normal customer greeting. "Irasshaimase. May I take your... Jeff?" Then she noticed who had walked in behind him. "Ranma!" she cried, bounding over the grill and a couple of customers. Including Akane.
Akane had been worried about Ranma, but that evaporated into anger when she saw Ukyo doing an Amazon glomp impression. She stood and picked up the nearest heavy object, which happened to be the stool she had been sitting on. Her swing at Ranma was blocked unexpectedly. It look her a moment to realize that it was Jeff who had blocked it. A remote part of her mind noted Kasumi moving to cover the grill.
"Akane, it's been a long night and I'm not in the mood. This is why I didn't want you to come with me last night. You saw something you didn't like and started swinging. That kind of behavior would have got Ranma killed," Jeff stated levelly.
Akane slowly placed the stool on the floor. She barely heard what Jeff had said to her. Most of her attention was focused on Ukyo fawning over Ranma and Ranma not doing anything about it. Tears started running from her eyes. She made a break for the door, but Jeff blocked her escape. She took a couple of swings at Jeff, but her heart wasn't in them.
Jeff continued, "I'm not letting you run away from something you don't like either. Now sit down and eat your breakfast." There was a brief pause before Akane sat down.
Ukyo thanked Kasumi for not letting anything burn and took breakfast orders from her, Ranma and Jeff. While Ukyo was busy, Ranma and Kasumi drank tea. Jeff didn't drink tea, so he was able to talk with Akane.
"Did Auntie Nodoka really try to kill Ranma?" Akane asked.
Jeff took a deep breath before answering. "I won't lie. If I'd have been even one second later, Ranma would be dead. But you should really be thanking Kasumi. She convinced Nodoka that the 'man among men' oath was satisfied. It's been destroyed and Ranma never has to worry about it again."
Akane set down her chopsticks and cried. Jeff got up from his stool, forcibly dragged Ranma over to it and took the seat next to Kasumi. Ranma did the best he could to comfort Akane, but it wasn't much.
----
After Jeff finished his third okonomiyaki he asked Ukyo, "Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?"
"I'll cut. Ranma needs me."
Jeff's voice turned from conversational to dead serious. "No. He needs to be left alone for a bit. By everyone. He's suffered a major shock and needs time to recover."
"Please, this is Ranma. He bounces back from anything."
Jeff replied, "Can we talk privately for a minute? I think I need to explain a few things to you." It was the tone of voice that convinced Ukyo to chase out everyone except Kasumi, Akane, Ranma and Jeff before putting up the 'Closed' sign.
Jeff and Ukyo went to the back of the store. Ukyo wasted no time and asked for the details about the previous night. Jeff started with blocking Nodoka's blade a few centimeters before she decapitated her son and told the story from there with a few flashbacks for details. Ukyo was very pale by the time Jeff finished.
"So my point is, Ranma needs to be left alone for a bit. He needs to come to terms with what happened with his mother. He doesn't need distractions from his fiancees, rivals, enemies or anyone else. And I will personally stomp anyone, up to and including Cologne, who tries to bother him before he gets time to recover. As mean it sounds, that includes you, despite the fact that I think Ranma would be better off with you than Akane."
Ukyo blinked twice. Jeff thought she'd be a better wife than Akane. Someone actually agreed with her? Well, if Jeff thought she was Ranma's best choice, maybe he was right about leaving Ranma alone for a few days. Ukyo decided that she would still cut classes for the day. Arriving late was more hassle than cutting entirely since Kuno-koucho had taken over.
Jeff went through a modified version of his speech with Akane, leaving out the 'better off' part. Akane was sufficiently subdued not to argue with Jeff. Especially after Kasumi started agreeing with him. It was a quiet group that made it's way to the Tendo Dojo.
Soun was his usual emotional self upon Ranma's return. Kasumi told Jeff that she would handle her father. Jeff escorted Ranma up to the room that he shared with his father. Exhausted, Ranma plopped down on the futon.
Jeff said, "Ranma, I've told Ukyo and Akane to give you some space for a few days. I think they'll actually do it. If anyone else tries anything, I'll use such force as I feel appropriate. You just relax. If you need anything, just let me or Kasumi know."
"Thank you," Ranma replied. Ranma waited until Jeff left the room to have a nice, long, reassuring attack of the shakes before he truly slept for the first time in over three days.
-----
Jeff spent three busy days keeping the curious away. Kasumi was the only person that Jeff let come and go as they pleased. He'd allowed a visit from Genma. Genma had been there, his life had been on the line too. Besides, he needed to gather the stuff he hadn't placed in his pack and take it home. Otherwise, Jeff would have splashed him and sent him off to Ueno Zoological Gardens along with Shampoo and Ryoga.
Jeff regretted not giving P-chan the pounding he so richly deserved, but was trying to keep the noise level down. Akane had fortunately been at school during Ryoga's visit, so P-chan's secret was still intact as far as Akane was concerned. Mousse had come relatively peacefully, listened to what Jeff had to say and left still human. Not that the water ladle lady didn't nail him anyway just afterwards.
Cologne never showed, and only Kodachi made more than one attempt to visit. Everyone else realized Jeff was serious after he nearly drowned Happosai in the koi pond the second evening. Happosai's small form made him hard to tag with a punch, shuriken or staff, but it was easily held by Jeff's TK. Only Kasumi kept him from finishing the job when Happosai took another crack at Jeff after being released. But he felt he might owe Akane one after she'd malleted Happosai farther than the laws of physics should allow.
Kodachi, oblivious to reality after merely being thrown in the koi pond, disarmed and frog marched out of the Tendo compound, had returned to the Kuno fortress to rearm and plan her next rendezvous with her beloved Ranma. If the red-haired harridan or the brown-haired foreigner tried to stop her, they would be dealt with most harshly.
After dark, the Black Rose leapt stealthily to the top of the fence surrounding the Tendo home and dojo. Another leap took her to a convenient tree. A few acrobatic flips and turns through the branches led her to a convenient spot to reach the roof. After pausing to make sure she was unobserved, she leapt to the roof and traversed the tiles to Ranma's room. The window was unlocked. Ranma must have anticipated her arrival! She'd certainly have her way with him this night. The window slid open quietly and Kodachi slipped in, trembling with anticipation.
Kodachi's mind was busy with it's own imaginings, so she never saw the fist that rendered her unconscious. She never felt the hands that bound her with her own ribbon. She didn't feel a thing as she was carried from Ranma's room.
"You know, you shouldn't hit girls," Ranma told Jeff sleepily.
"This ain't a girl, just another trespasser," Jeff responded.
-----
Kodachi awoke to the feel of cold metal against her skin and an aching centered around her nose. 'This can't be Ranma's room' she thought. She then noticed she was bound. 'Oh my dear Ranma, I didn't know you liked it rough. I'll have to remember that for next time.' Then she noticed she was outside. 'Rough _and_ outdoors. Oh what an exciting lover my Ranma is.' Finally, she noticed she was on the top of Tokyo Tower and quite a crowd was gathered underneath her.
This was enough for her to remember that she hadn't spent the previous night in Ranma's embrace, but instead had been captured by person or persons unknown then carried here. Whoever did this to the Black Rose would be found and punished. But first she must see if her cherished Ranma was all right. Whoever had done this to her might have endangered her beloved as well.
It wasn't until the rescue crew came that she changed her plans. The words 'Geez miss, what happened to your face?', caused Kodachi to pull out her compact and check the mirror. Her nose, her beautiful nose, one of the finest features of her aristocratic face was broken. A large portion of the remainder was puffy and swollen. The horror! Vengeance would have to wait. First she must return herself to her accustomed state of beauty. She couldn't let her beloved Ranma see her like this. So instead of plotting her capital 'R' Revenge, Kodachi called Sasuke and ordered him to find the best plastic surgeon in Japan, no in all the world. 'One must keep one's priorities straight after all.'
-----
Tuesday morning, Ranma asked Akane to bring his schoolwork home with her. Akane was surprised by the request but did so. Nabiki was amazed by the request and started a pool on when Ranma would return to school. The most popular choice was next Monday with never a close second.
Ranma didn't care. He was focusing on other things. The close to zero distraction environment gave Ranma the chance to get all the sleep he needed. This left time him with plenty of time to think. Ranma decided he needed a distraction, it would keep him from obsessing over the encounter with his mother. Since he planned on going to America with Jeff, he concentrated mostly on English. Jeff had learned Japanese before he'd come to Japan, it was only fair for Ranma to return the favor.
Taking one of the few pieces of good advice his father had given him, Ranma turned the English lesson into Martial Arts Linguistics. And nobody learns martial arts faster than Ranma Saotome.
By Friday morning, Ranma felt well enough to face the world. Coming down to breakfast, he saw Jeff sitting crossed legged at the dining table, eyeing his miso soup suspiciously. Except that Jeff was in his father's normal place, it looked a normal morning at the Tendo Dojo.
"Ohayoo Ranma," Jeff said.
"Good morning Jeff," Ranma replied carefully in heavily accented English.
"What's with the English?" Jeff asked in the same language.
Ranma continued in English after pausing to get his thoughts in order, "Before you come to Japan, you learn Japanese. Before I go to America, I learn English. At least start to learn."
"Good idea," Jeff finished in Japanese.
Akane was in the same English class as Ranma and couldn't recall him talking this smoothly before. Was the Ranma who sat next to her now the same Ranma that had sat next to her only a week ago? The more she thought about it, the more she feared the answer was no. His brush with death had changed him. She knew that when he'd asked her to bring the schoolwork he'd been missing. This was just confirmation. What other changes were there? Akane was eager to find out and afraid at the same time.
Breakfast was almost normal. Ranma ate like a whirlwind until Jeff pointed out that no one there was going to steal his food. He slowed down somewhat after that. Ranma asked Jeff if he wanted to walk to school with them. Maybe see some of his former students. Jeff answered that he was too tired after providing Ranma with three days of peace and quiet. He was going to take a nap as soon as he helped Kasumi with the breakfast dishes.
Since they weren't running late, Akane and Ranma calmly took their bentos from Kasumi. (Nabiki had left for school early to sell information on Ranma's absence and settle the pool about his return. She expected a busy and profitable day.) Ranma said 'thank you' to Kasumi as he left. Akane didn't think that too odd. After all, according to Jeff, Kasumi was the one responsible for getting Ranma out from under the 'man among men' pledge. It wasn't _that_ surprising he was grateful.
Instead of walking along the fence top, he walked alongside Akane. That wasn't unheard of, but it was a little unusual. When the water ladle lady nailed him, he simply sighed, pulled a thermos out of his school bag and changed back. Normally Ranma didn't plan ahead that much. It might indicate a change.
There were over halfway to school when Ranma suddenly jumped left, grabbed Akane in passing and completely avoided Shampoo's Bicycle of Death. Landing on concrete instead of Ranma threw Shampoo off balance. She almost careened into a nearby wall before she regained control. Although rattled just a hair, she began her speech anyway.
"Shampoo not see airen for whole week. Make too too delicious ramen for airen." She pulled a bowl of ramen from her delivery box and presented it to the man she considered her husband. She did so with a drop dead sexy pose, even though Ranma usually didn't notice that sort of ploy.
"No thanks, not hungry," Ranma answered. To Akane, Ranma looked more exasperated by Shampoo's presence than anything else.
"Airen not want Shampoo's cooking because kitchen destroyer force feed him breakfast?" the purple haired Amazon asked pointedly.
"Hey! I'm standing right here you know," Akane put in before realizing that if she wanted to observe, she shouldn't participate.
Ranma turned his head enough to say "I'll handle this," to Akane before turning back to Shampoo. "Actually, Kasumi made breakfast. It was good. I ate a lot and I'm not really hungry right now."
"Is airen feeling all right? After foreign man say he not let anyone bother airen, splash Shampoo and send to zoo, Shampoo escape and pay mercenary girl for hot scoop. Shampoo know airen have bad time with mother. Shampoo make too too good ramen for airen feel better."
Ranma bowed slightly and said, "Thank you for your concern Shampoo. But I have to get to school now. I promise that I'll talk with you after school today."
Akane's anger rose at hearing that Ranma wanted to spend time with the Chinese bimbo. She got even madder when she heard Shampoo reply, "Airen take Shampoo to date, yes?" and leapt at Ranma to administer a glomp.
Some of the anger evaporated when Ranma sidestepped the mega-hug and raised his arms to a blocking position. It almost completely disappeared when Ranma stated calmly, "No Shampoo, I said we would talk. This is not a date, don't even think of actin' like it is. I'm gonna leave Nerima for a while and I need ta talk to ya along with some other people before I go. Now excuse me, I havta get ta school."
Ranma left two stunned young women behind him. Akane recovered first and hurried after Ranma. Ranma had actively avoided Shampoo, been sort of polite and seemed eager to get to school. Akane was beginning to get scared. Next up on a normal day would be a fight with Kuno. How would Ranma react to an attack?
Shampoo stared as Ranma walked into the distance. The kitchen destroyer hurried to catch up with her reluctant husband. Shampoo quietly said "Airen?" but there was no one there to hear her.
-----
Kuno Tatewaki strode across the school grounds like a samurai of days gone by. He'd have fit perfectly in the 16th century. Unfortunately those days were long gone and he therefore looked like an idiot. Tendo Nabiki had just sold him information most valuable. The dread sorcerer Saotome Ranma would be returning to Furinkan High School that day. Kuno knew that the magician's absence had been because he, Kuno Tatewaki, the great Blue Thunder, had defeated him, even if for some reason he couldn't remember doing so. Perhaps after defeating Saotome again, he could free the pig tailed girl from the fiend.
Hiroshi stood with Daisuke near the entrance to Furinkan High. While mostly paying attention to girls, they heard and saw Kuno-sempai stroll past muttering to himself.
"Did he say Ranma was coming back today?" Daisuke asked his friend.
"I believe he did," Hiroshi replied.
"Think we should get some money down on the fight?"
"Please Daisuke, Ranma could be in a coma and still beat Kuno."
"No doubt about that," Daisuke admitted, continuing, "but since Kuno hasn't been knocked out for a week, he's actually had time to recover from his prior injuries. He might last longer than six seconds, especially if Ranma hasn't been practicing."
"Did you buy information from Nabiki that you haven't told me about?"
"No, no, not at all Hiroshi. Just a feeling."
"I think you'd be throwing your money away."
"You're thinking under six seconds?" Daisuke inquired.
"If I were to bet on this," Hiroshi began sagely, "I'd go off the board entirely. I heard that American student-teacher, the one who was here a few months back, had something to do with Ranma missing school."
"The guy that beat Kuno and sorta drew Shampoo?"
"The very same."
"Hmm... That could change things a bit. Perhaps we should see if he's about Hiroshi."
"After you Daisuke," his friend replied before they left to scout out the grounds.
Unfortunately, because they were scouting, they missed their chance to get in on the action. Hiroshi's hunch about going off the board would have paid. Ranma entered the school grounds. Kuno noticed this and began one of his speeches. Ranma walked right past the ranting would be samurai without so much as a glance. By the time Kuno finished his speech, Ranma had already entered the building. Finding his target gone, Kuno thought for a moment, decided that the cowardly Saotome had conceded defeat and went to change into his own school uniform for the day.
-----
At lunchtime, Ukyo offered Ranma one of her deluxe special okonomiyaki, but as with Shampoo's food on the way to school, Ranma turned it down. He explained that he hadn't been very active lately, and therefore hadn't been eating much. Kasumi's bento should be more than enough to see him through.
Ukyo thought to herself, 'Ran-chan's turning down food? My food? What did his mother _do_ to him? What should I do? I mean, I want to be supportive, but I don't want to act clingy like Shampoo.' Suddenly inspired, she said, "That's all right. But if you want to talk, I'll be there."
"Thank you. I do wanna talk to ya sometime before I go to America."
"You can come by the Ucchan after school," Ukyo said hopefully.
"Can't," Ranma replied, "I'm goin' to the Cat Cafe to talk ta Shampoo and Cologne and probably fight Mousse."
"Oh. Well what about after school tomorrow?"
"Sure thing Uc-chan."
Satisfied by the promise, Ukyo sat down and ate the okonomiyaki she'd made for Ranma herself.
-----
Ranma spotted Mousse as he approached the Cat Cafe. The part time duck peered at his surroundings through thick glasses. Since he knew Mousse preferred not to wear them, Ranma figured that Mousse was looking specifically for him. 'Might as well get this done,' Ranma thought as he reviewed Mousse's preferred opening moves.
Mousse identified the black and red blur in front of him. "Peace Saotome. I've got no beef with you today," Mousse stated. This had the effect of throwing Ranma off badly.
Ranma blinked. "Not that I mind, but why no 'Die Saotome'?"
"Talked with your gaijin bodyguard. He's got the right idea. You just have a nice long trip."
"Jeff ain't my bodyguard," Ranma answered irately.
"Whatever. But your absence won't bother me at all."
Ranma wasn't stupid, he knew why. "Only if Shampoo don't follow me."
Mousse polished his glasses before he answered, "True. But Shampoo's English is worse than her Japanese. I'd probably be sent along as translator if she does decide to follow you. Either way works for me."
"Whatever, but you better practice your English."
Ranma moved past Mousse and steeled himself as he entered the Cat Cafe. This wouldn't be easy.
Cologne was first to notice Ranma's presence. "Good afternoon, son-in-law. Finally come to accept your marriage to my great-granddaughter?"
"No. I told Shampoo I wanted ta talk to her, so here I am."
Cologne told Shampoo to sit at one of the booths and turned over the work of running the restaurant to Shampoo's father. Cologne had heard rumors of what happened to Ranma over the weekend. She neither encouraged or discouraged Shampoo's first attempt to visit. She simply forbade additional trips. The strange gaijin who had involved himself in Ranma's affairs before had returned and he was a complication best avoided. Either way, she decided to join the conversation, invited or not.
After getting the unpleasantries over with, Ranma quickly got to the point. "I'm going ta America for a while and I don't know for sure when I'll get back. But I wanted ta talk to you and the old gh... Cologne before I left."
"Aiyah!" Shampoo exclaimed. "Airen want Shampoo to go America with airen?"
"An excellent idea son-in-law. Travel is a broadening experience, even for one such as myself," Cologne added. 'Haven't been to the States in ages. I wonder if San Francisco has changed any?'
The bottom fell out of Ranma's stomach. This was _not_ going as planned. 'Arrgh! Think first. Then talk,' Ranma told himself. Shampoo already followed him from her village to Nerima. It would be just like her to follow him some more. Before things could spiral further out of control, Ranma made a desperate attempt to regain the initiative. Ranma slapped both hands on the table as he stood up, breaking into Shampoo's 'Life with Ranma in America' fantasy. "No! I didn't say that! For once will you just listen?"
Cologne knew what Ranma had and hadn't said, but Shampoo was harder to bring back to reality.
"Airen no want Shampoo?" the purple haired Amazon cried. Tears were normally quite effective against men in general and Ranma in particular. Shampoo believed Ranma would be putty in her hands in mere moments.
"Shampoo, you are _not_ coming with me," Ranma began fiercely. "Nobody is coming with me. But I swear, on _my_ honor, if you use me bein' gone to attack anybody, you will regret it."
"Growing a spine son-in-law?" Cologne asked offhandedly. If she didn't know better, she'd suspect Ranma still held a grudge over the Reversal Jewel incident.
"More like a whole skeleton old gh- Cologne," Ranma retorted before he turned and left the restaurant.
Shampoo was shocked at Ranma's forcefulness. Cologne wondered if the boy had finally been pushed too far. Less than five minutes after Ranma left the Cat Cafe, Cologne was dialing Tendo Nabiki. She would pay the mercenary for all the information that she had about Jeffery Anderson before deciding on a course of action. The man seemed to have some sort of influence over son-in-law. After completing the call and arranging delivery of the limited information the middle Tendo girl had sold her, Cologne retired to her room to do some serious thinking on the current situation and the possible outcomes.
Despite Ranma's undeniable skills, Cologne had growing doubts about Ranma's ability to be brought into the Joketzu. If her great-granddaughter proved capable of bringing Ranma in, so much the better. But even if she managed the feat, could the Joketzu survive such a disruptive spirit? Ranma was as willful a male as she had ever met. His mere presence could cause the other males of the Joketzu to forget their places.
Times were changing faster than Cologne liked. Three thousand years of Amazon tradition meant little these days. Not in a world increasingly dominated by technology. The 'battle suits' that Shampoo and the others had fought the last time the American had been in Nerima, one did not need to be a warrior to use them. Amazon pride aside, Cologne knew that most Joketzu would fall to an attack from such devices. How could the old laws deal with something like that?
Life as the Joketzu knew it was ending. To continue in the ways of the past, without acknowledging the present or planning for the future, would doom her people. Cologne recognized the need for change. But how to get the rest of her people to see what she had seen? It would take time, thought and careful planning. The latter two were no problem, but would there be time?
-----
The way Saturday began felt a little more normal to Akane. Ranma had overslept, so she had to practically drag him to school after a hurried breakfast. Once on the school grounds, Kuno had said something about defeating Ranma 'yet again' and rushed to the attack while mouthing some nonsense about rescuing his
'beloveds'. Ranma gave Akane an irritated look and then things got a little strange.
Ranma bobbed below Kuno's first sword thrust. Normal enough. But then Ranma snatched the bokken from Kuno's grasp and snapped it in two. Then four. Then eight. Splinters of wood soon littered the ground.
"Unless you wanna attack me bare-handed Kuno-sempai, we're done now," Ranma stated coolly. Not waiting for a response, Ranma turned and strode for the school doors.
"How dare that fiend treat the weapon of the great 'Blue Thunder' in such a manner," Kuno said to no one in particular.
"Be grateful he didn't do it to you Kuno-chan," Nabiki commented as she passed by.
Akane realized that she was just standing there, just as shocked as Kuno, even if for other reasons. She hurriedly followed her sister into the school building.
-----
Ranma spent most of the abbreviated school day in the vice-principal's office. For once, it wasn't for disciplinary reasons. There was quite a bit of paperwork required before Ranma could leave as a foreign exchange student. He didn't know when Jeff had found the time to set it up, but as far as Furinkan High was concerned, Ranma was going abroad for his education for the remainder of the school year.
Seeing how quickly everything was being expedited, Ranma smelled a rat. It might have been Jeff being a good rat. It might have been Kuno-koucho being a bad rat. 'Might be both,' Ranma mused as yet another document was presented for him imprint with his hanko. Ranma figured that between Akane, Ukyo and *shudder* Kuno-sempai, keeping the mad principle under control shouldn't be much of a problem, so he chose not to worry about it.
After school, Ranma walked with Akane and Ukyo to Ucchan's. The walk over was quiet, neither girl wanting to speak with the other present. Once they got to the restaurant, Ranma asked that Ukyo stay closed until the talk was over. Ukyo agreed, but still prepped for business, warming up the grill and readying her base stocks of batter, cabbage and yakisoba noodles.
"I want both of ya to promise me sumthin'," Ranma began abruptly.
"What?" Akane asked suspiciously while Ukyo answered "Sure."
"I want ya to look out for each other while I'm gone."
"Why?" asked both girls.
"I don't trust Shampoo and Cologne... Well mostly Shampoo. I don't think the old ghoul would start nothin', but Shampoo might take shots at both of ya if I ain't around."
"Don't flatter yourself Ranma," Akane chided.
"Don't brush it off like it can't happen," Ranma retorted.
"I'm a martial artist I c-" Akane began angrily.
"Can take care of yourself," Ranma finished for her. "Akane, you were able to take out a buncha morons every morning before school, but Shampoo would eat ya alive in a real fight."
"Hmmph," Akane snorted and got on her high horse. Nothing Ranma said would affect her there.
Ukyo just shook her head at Akane's inability to admit when she was outclassed. Confidence was one thing, but overconfidence could get you stomped. Ukyo hadn't had a real mix up with Shampoo, but knew that unless she fought her very best, she'd go down to the Amazon eventually. In comparison, Akane would be easy pickings. "Should I?", she asked Ranma, holding up a brace of throwing spatulas.
Ranma merely nodded.
Akane lasted longer than Ranma figured. She avoided two sets of spatulas, which was one more than he had counted on. When the third set pinned her jacket to the doorframe, Akane wasted no time slipping free from the restraint. Unfortunately, not fast enough to avoid getting a smack on the hip from the flat of Ukyo's combat spatula. It stung, but didn't really slow her.
"Ranma! Don't just sit there!" Akane yelled.
Ranma just sat there. Ukyo pressed her attack with several quick slashes designed to keep Akane moving. Akane yanked a stool from the floor and blocked Ukyo's next two swings. But Akane's first offensive swing with the stool was her last. Ukyo deflected the attack, pivoted around the contact point, and unleashed a crashing blow with the handle of the spatula to Akane's jaw.
Staggered, Akane dropped the stool, and tried to back away to regain her equilibrium. "Ranma?!" she cried to no avail.
Ukyo, determined to finish what she started, pressed her advantage. Using the edge of her spatula to keep Akane wary, Ukyo kept backing Akane up until there was no place left for her to go. In desperation, Akane leapt up and over Ukyo to gain some space. But the tight quarters of the restaurant didn't have sufficient headroom for such a maneuver. Akane's feet banged against the ceiling and her trajectory was ruined. She fell, head first, toward the floor.
Akane's arms shot out to try for a break fall, but it wasn't necessary as Ranma bounded in to catch his 'uncute' fiancee. Relief over being spared a painful impact with the floor was overwhelmed by anger at Ranma for doing nothing before then. She tried to slug Ranma, but he blocked her. Not a dodge or a duck, but a solid block. It felt like hitting iron.
Nonplused, Ranma laid it out for Akane. "Ukyo just beat ya without taking a hit. You did better than I thought ya would, but ya still lost. Shampoo would make mincemeat out of you. If you try to fight her, you'll lose."
"I wasn't ready," Akane protested feebly.
"That's no excuse sugar," Ukyo put in while retrieving her throwing spatulas. Once the stool was re-bolted to the floor, the only damage to Ucchan's would be a few gouges here and there.
"Ucchan's right. You think Shampoo'd give up surprise? She don't care how she gets sumthin', as long as she gets it. I already told her if she attacked anybody while I was gone, she'd regret it."
"Like that'll stop her," Ukyo replied rhetorically.
"I hope so. I really do. But will you two look out for each other? Just in case."
Ukyo nodded her agreement, but an emotional Akane bolted from Ucchan's instead. "I better go after her Ucchan. Just do me one more favor."
"What?"
"Talk to Pops or Mr. Tendo and see if they'll start teaching ya some Anything Goes. Just in case _somebody_ disarms ya or catches ya unarmed." Ranma didn't wait for a response before dashing out of the restaurant after Akane.
'He cares', Ukyo thought. 'He really does. But why won't he love me the way I love him?' It was a distracted young woman that returned to the task of running an okonomiyaki shop.
-----
Akane ran as fast as she could. She didn't know whether to be mad at Ranma for deriding her fighting skills or at Ukyo for proving Ranma right. What did Ranma mean when he said she'd done better than he thought she would? If Ukyo had used the edge of her spatula instead of the flat on that first strike, the fight would have been over right then.
'I can't cook. I can't sew. I can't swim. I can't even fight. I'm completely useless,' Akane told herself again and again as she ran through the streets.
Eight kilometers later, she ran out of steam and leaned against a wall to cry.
"Akane... ya can't... just run from... your problems," Ranma panted from the top of the wall.
Akane was mildly pleased to see that Ranma was catching his breath. But her next words were still fueled by anger. "Why not? It's what you're doing, isn't it? Just run off to America with Jeff and leave all your problems behind," Akane cried out through her tears.
Ranma sighed, leapt down from his perch and explained quietly, "Akane, I may be leavin', but only so I can solve my problems. And I'm comin' back. I promised my mother, and I'm promising you. I _will_ come back."
"Why bother?" Akane demanded. "Why come back to an uncute tomboy who can't cook, can't swim and can't fight?"
"Akane, you're a good martial artist..."
"No I'm not. Don't try to tell me that," Akane sobbed.
"Let. Me. Finish. You're a good martial artist, for a normal person. But how many normal people do we know? Shampoo can bash through concrete walls without spilling a bowl of ramen. Ryoga breaks boulders with a finger. Mousse's hidden weapons outweigh Mousse. Happosai and Cologne are both a hundred years old and can do lots of stuff I can't. Heck, even Kuno chops down trees with a bokken. You think that's normal?" Ranma finished in a light-hearted tone.
Halfway through the list, Akane stopped crying. Her anger evaporated with her tears. "No," she answered quietly.
"Then stop worrying about stuff ya can't change and work on the stuff ya can," Ranma said.
Akane didn't think that what Ranma said made much sense, but she was glad that he was there anyway. Without another word, the two headed for home.
END CHAPTER 4
-----
Chapter 4: The Long Goodbye, part 1
What has happened so far: Jeff Anderson, retired superhero, receives a call from Kasumi Tendo. She correctly guesses that Ranma has gone to reveal his curse to his mother despite the 'man among men' seppuku pledge. His execution, delayed by Nodoka making arrangements for Genma's capture, is stopped in the nick of time by Jeff. Nodoka declares Ranma a man among men and the suicide pact is destroyed. Ranma, feeling that this particular brush with death was too close, decides he is going to take up Jeff's offer of getting out of the country for a while.
But first, preparations have to be made and certain people informed of what is going on.
-----
It had been a long night. The city of Tokyo was beginning to stir on a cool Monday morning. Ranma, Kasumi, Genma and Jeff changed trains three times on their way back to Nerima, with the number of riders growing at each stop. Fortunately, the real heavy traffic wouldn't start for another hour or so.
Jeff had been able to change some money at Ikebukuro Station and looked forward to going to Ucchan's for some okonomiyaki. Although Ukyo had given Jeff some recipes before he'd left the last time, his best efforts weren't anywhere near as good as what Ukyo made.
Genma unexpectedly declined the offer of breakfast. He wanted his pack and he wanted it now. He didn't own much, but there were things in that pack that shouldn't be left unattended. So it was Jeff who entered Ucchan's ahead of Ranma and Kasumi.
Ukyo began her normal customer greeting. "Irasshaimase. May I take your... Jeff?" Then she noticed who had walked in behind him. "Ranma!" she cried, bounding over the grill and a couple of customers. Including Akane.
Akane had been worried about Ranma, but that evaporated into anger when she saw Ukyo doing an Amazon glomp impression. She stood and picked up the nearest heavy object, which happened to be the stool she had been sitting on. Her swing at Ranma was blocked unexpectedly. It look her a moment to realize that it was Jeff who had blocked it. A remote part of her mind noted Kasumi moving to cover the grill.
"Akane, it's been a long night and I'm not in the mood. This is why I didn't want you to come with me last night. You saw something you didn't like and started swinging. That kind of behavior would have got Ranma killed," Jeff stated levelly.
Akane slowly placed the stool on the floor. She barely heard what Jeff had said to her. Most of her attention was focused on Ukyo fawning over Ranma and Ranma not doing anything about it. Tears started running from her eyes. She made a break for the door, but Jeff blocked her escape. She took a couple of swings at Jeff, but her heart wasn't in them.
Jeff continued, "I'm not letting you run away from something you don't like either. Now sit down and eat your breakfast." There was a brief pause before Akane sat down.
Ukyo thanked Kasumi for not letting anything burn and took breakfast orders from her, Ranma and Jeff. While Ukyo was busy, Ranma and Kasumi drank tea. Jeff didn't drink tea, so he was able to talk with Akane.
"Did Auntie Nodoka really try to kill Ranma?" Akane asked.
Jeff took a deep breath before answering. "I won't lie. If I'd have been even one second later, Ranma would be dead. But you should really be thanking Kasumi. She convinced Nodoka that the 'man among men' oath was satisfied. It's been destroyed and Ranma never has to worry about it again."
Akane set down her chopsticks and cried. Jeff got up from his stool, forcibly dragged Ranma over to it and took the seat next to Kasumi. Ranma did the best he could to comfort Akane, but it wasn't much.
----
After Jeff finished his third okonomiyaki he asked Ukyo, "Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?"
"I'll cut. Ranma needs me."
Jeff's voice turned from conversational to dead serious. "No. He needs to be left alone for a bit. By everyone. He's suffered a major shock and needs time to recover."
"Please, this is Ranma. He bounces back from anything."
Jeff replied, "Can we talk privately for a minute? I think I need to explain a few things to you." It was the tone of voice that convinced Ukyo to chase out everyone except Kasumi, Akane, Ranma and Jeff before putting up the 'Closed' sign.
Jeff and Ukyo went to the back of the store. Ukyo wasted no time and asked for the details about the previous night. Jeff started with blocking Nodoka's blade a few centimeters before she decapitated her son and told the story from there with a few flashbacks for details. Ukyo was very pale by the time Jeff finished.
"So my point is, Ranma needs to be left alone for a bit. He needs to come to terms with what happened with his mother. He doesn't need distractions from his fiancees, rivals, enemies or anyone else. And I will personally stomp anyone, up to and including Cologne, who tries to bother him before he gets time to recover. As mean it sounds, that includes you, despite the fact that I think Ranma would be better off with you than Akane."
Ukyo blinked twice. Jeff thought she'd be a better wife than Akane. Someone actually agreed with her? Well, if Jeff thought she was Ranma's best choice, maybe he was right about leaving Ranma alone for a few days. Ukyo decided that she would still cut classes for the day. Arriving late was more hassle than cutting entirely since Kuno-koucho had taken over.
Jeff went through a modified version of his speech with Akane, leaving out the 'better off' part. Akane was sufficiently subdued not to argue with Jeff. Especially after Kasumi started agreeing with him. It was a quiet group that made it's way to the Tendo Dojo.
Soun was his usual emotional self upon Ranma's return. Kasumi told Jeff that she would handle her father. Jeff escorted Ranma up to the room that he shared with his father. Exhausted, Ranma plopped down on the futon.
Jeff said, "Ranma, I've told Ukyo and Akane to give you some space for a few days. I think they'll actually do it. If anyone else tries anything, I'll use such force as I feel appropriate. You just relax. If you need anything, just let me or Kasumi know."
"Thank you," Ranma replied. Ranma waited until Jeff left the room to have a nice, long, reassuring attack of the shakes before he truly slept for the first time in over three days.
-----
Jeff spent three busy days keeping the curious away. Kasumi was the only person that Jeff let come and go as they pleased. He'd allowed a visit from Genma. Genma had been there, his life had been on the line too. Besides, he needed to gather the stuff he hadn't placed in his pack and take it home. Otherwise, Jeff would have splashed him and sent him off to Ueno Zoological Gardens along with Shampoo and Ryoga.
Jeff regretted not giving P-chan the pounding he so richly deserved, but was trying to keep the noise level down. Akane had fortunately been at school during Ryoga's visit, so P-chan's secret was still intact as far as Akane was concerned. Mousse had come relatively peacefully, listened to what Jeff had to say and left still human. Not that the water ladle lady didn't nail him anyway just afterwards.
Cologne never showed, and only Kodachi made more than one attempt to visit. Everyone else realized Jeff was serious after he nearly drowned Happosai in the koi pond the second evening. Happosai's small form made him hard to tag with a punch, shuriken or staff, but it was easily held by Jeff's TK. Only Kasumi kept him from finishing the job when Happosai took another crack at Jeff after being released. But he felt he might owe Akane one after she'd malleted Happosai farther than the laws of physics should allow.
Kodachi, oblivious to reality after merely being thrown in the koi pond, disarmed and frog marched out of the Tendo compound, had returned to the Kuno fortress to rearm and plan her next rendezvous with her beloved Ranma. If the red-haired harridan or the brown-haired foreigner tried to stop her, they would be dealt with most harshly.
After dark, the Black Rose leapt stealthily to the top of the fence surrounding the Tendo home and dojo. Another leap took her to a convenient tree. A few acrobatic flips and turns through the branches led her to a convenient spot to reach the roof. After pausing to make sure she was unobserved, she leapt to the roof and traversed the tiles to Ranma's room. The window was unlocked. Ranma must have anticipated her arrival! She'd certainly have her way with him this night. The window slid open quietly and Kodachi slipped in, trembling with anticipation.
Kodachi's mind was busy with it's own imaginings, so she never saw the fist that rendered her unconscious. She never felt the hands that bound her with her own ribbon. She didn't feel a thing as she was carried from Ranma's room.
"You know, you shouldn't hit girls," Ranma told Jeff sleepily.
"This ain't a girl, just another trespasser," Jeff responded.
-----
Kodachi awoke to the feel of cold metal against her skin and an aching centered around her nose. 'This can't be Ranma's room' she thought. She then noticed she was bound. 'Oh my dear Ranma, I didn't know you liked it rough. I'll have to remember that for next time.' Then she noticed she was outside. 'Rough _and_ outdoors. Oh what an exciting lover my Ranma is.' Finally, she noticed she was on the top of Tokyo Tower and quite a crowd was gathered underneath her.
This was enough for her to remember that she hadn't spent the previous night in Ranma's embrace, but instead had been captured by person or persons unknown then carried here. Whoever did this to the Black Rose would be found and punished. But first she must see if her cherished Ranma was all right. Whoever had done this to her might have endangered her beloved as well.
It wasn't until the rescue crew came that she changed her plans. The words 'Geez miss, what happened to your face?', caused Kodachi to pull out her compact and check the mirror. Her nose, her beautiful nose, one of the finest features of her aristocratic face was broken. A large portion of the remainder was puffy and swollen. The horror! Vengeance would have to wait. First she must return herself to her accustomed state of beauty. She couldn't let her beloved Ranma see her like this. So instead of plotting her capital 'R' Revenge, Kodachi called Sasuke and ordered him to find the best plastic surgeon in Japan, no in all the world. 'One must keep one's priorities straight after all.'
-----
Tuesday morning, Ranma asked Akane to bring his schoolwork home with her. Akane was surprised by the request but did so. Nabiki was amazed by the request and started a pool on when Ranma would return to school. The most popular choice was next Monday with never a close second.
Ranma didn't care. He was focusing on other things. The close to zero distraction environment gave Ranma the chance to get all the sleep he needed. This left time him with plenty of time to think. Ranma decided he needed a distraction, it would keep him from obsessing over the encounter with his mother. Since he planned on going to America with Jeff, he concentrated mostly on English. Jeff had learned Japanese before he'd come to Japan, it was only fair for Ranma to return the favor.
Taking one of the few pieces of good advice his father had given him, Ranma turned the English lesson into Martial Arts Linguistics. And nobody learns martial arts faster than Ranma Saotome.
By Friday morning, Ranma felt well enough to face the world. Coming down to breakfast, he saw Jeff sitting crossed legged at the dining table, eyeing his miso soup suspiciously. Except that Jeff was in his father's normal place, it looked a normal morning at the Tendo Dojo.
"Ohayoo Ranma," Jeff said.
"Good morning Jeff," Ranma replied carefully in heavily accented English.
"What's with the English?" Jeff asked in the same language.
Ranma continued in English after pausing to get his thoughts in order, "Before you come to Japan, you learn Japanese. Before I go to America, I learn English. At least start to learn."
"Good idea," Jeff finished in Japanese.
Akane was in the same English class as Ranma and couldn't recall him talking this smoothly before. Was the Ranma who sat next to her now the same Ranma that had sat next to her only a week ago? The more she thought about it, the more she feared the answer was no. His brush with death had changed him. She knew that when he'd asked her to bring the schoolwork he'd been missing. This was just confirmation. What other changes were there? Akane was eager to find out and afraid at the same time.
Breakfast was almost normal. Ranma ate like a whirlwind until Jeff pointed out that no one there was going to steal his food. He slowed down somewhat after that. Ranma asked Jeff if he wanted to walk to school with them. Maybe see some of his former students. Jeff answered that he was too tired after providing Ranma with three days of peace and quiet. He was going to take a nap as soon as he helped Kasumi with the breakfast dishes.
Since they weren't running late, Akane and Ranma calmly took their bentos from Kasumi. (Nabiki had left for school early to sell information on Ranma's absence and settle the pool about his return. She expected a busy and profitable day.) Ranma said 'thank you' to Kasumi as he left. Akane didn't think that too odd. After all, according to Jeff, Kasumi was the one responsible for getting Ranma out from under the 'man among men' pledge. It wasn't _that_ surprising he was grateful.
Instead of walking along the fence top, he walked alongside Akane. That wasn't unheard of, but it was a little unusual. When the water ladle lady nailed him, he simply sighed, pulled a thermos out of his school bag and changed back. Normally Ranma didn't plan ahead that much. It might indicate a change.
There were over halfway to school when Ranma suddenly jumped left, grabbed Akane in passing and completely avoided Shampoo's Bicycle of Death. Landing on concrete instead of Ranma threw Shampoo off balance. She almost careened into a nearby wall before she regained control. Although rattled just a hair, she began her speech anyway.
"Shampoo not see airen for whole week. Make too too delicious ramen for airen." She pulled a bowl of ramen from her delivery box and presented it to the man she considered her husband. She did so with a drop dead sexy pose, even though Ranma usually didn't notice that sort of ploy.
"No thanks, not hungry," Ranma answered. To Akane, Ranma looked more exasperated by Shampoo's presence than anything else.
"Airen not want Shampoo's cooking because kitchen destroyer force feed him breakfast?" the purple haired Amazon asked pointedly.
"Hey! I'm standing right here you know," Akane put in before realizing that if she wanted to observe, she shouldn't participate.
Ranma turned his head enough to say "I'll handle this," to Akane before turning back to Shampoo. "Actually, Kasumi made breakfast. It was good. I ate a lot and I'm not really hungry right now."
"Is airen feeling all right? After foreign man say he not let anyone bother airen, splash Shampoo and send to zoo, Shampoo escape and pay mercenary girl for hot scoop. Shampoo know airen have bad time with mother. Shampoo make too too good ramen for airen feel better."
Ranma bowed slightly and said, "Thank you for your concern Shampoo. But I have to get to school now. I promise that I'll talk with you after school today."
Akane's anger rose at hearing that Ranma wanted to spend time with the Chinese bimbo. She got even madder when she heard Shampoo reply, "Airen take Shampoo to date, yes?" and leapt at Ranma to administer a glomp.
Some of the anger evaporated when Ranma sidestepped the mega-hug and raised his arms to a blocking position. It almost completely disappeared when Ranma stated calmly, "No Shampoo, I said we would talk. This is not a date, don't even think of actin' like it is. I'm gonna leave Nerima for a while and I need ta talk to ya along with some other people before I go. Now excuse me, I havta get ta school."
Ranma left two stunned young women behind him. Akane recovered first and hurried after Ranma. Ranma had actively avoided Shampoo, been sort of polite and seemed eager to get to school. Akane was beginning to get scared. Next up on a normal day would be a fight with Kuno. How would Ranma react to an attack?
Shampoo stared as Ranma walked into the distance. The kitchen destroyer hurried to catch up with her reluctant husband. Shampoo quietly said "Airen?" but there was no one there to hear her.
-----
Kuno Tatewaki strode across the school grounds like a samurai of days gone by. He'd have fit perfectly in the 16th century. Unfortunately those days were long gone and he therefore looked like an idiot. Tendo Nabiki had just sold him information most valuable. The dread sorcerer Saotome Ranma would be returning to Furinkan High School that day. Kuno knew that the magician's absence had been because he, Kuno Tatewaki, the great Blue Thunder, had defeated him, even if for some reason he couldn't remember doing so. Perhaps after defeating Saotome again, he could free the pig tailed girl from the fiend.
Hiroshi stood with Daisuke near the entrance to Furinkan High. While mostly paying attention to girls, they heard and saw Kuno-sempai stroll past muttering to himself.
"Did he say Ranma was coming back today?" Daisuke asked his friend.
"I believe he did," Hiroshi replied.
"Think we should get some money down on the fight?"
"Please Daisuke, Ranma could be in a coma and still beat Kuno."
"No doubt about that," Daisuke admitted, continuing, "but since Kuno hasn't been knocked out for a week, he's actually had time to recover from his prior injuries. He might last longer than six seconds, especially if Ranma hasn't been practicing."
"Did you buy information from Nabiki that you haven't told me about?"
"No, no, not at all Hiroshi. Just a feeling."
"I think you'd be throwing your money away."
"You're thinking under six seconds?" Daisuke inquired.
"If I were to bet on this," Hiroshi began sagely, "I'd go off the board entirely. I heard that American student-teacher, the one who was here a few months back, had something to do with Ranma missing school."
"The guy that beat Kuno and sorta drew Shampoo?"
"The very same."
"Hmm... That could change things a bit. Perhaps we should see if he's about Hiroshi."
"After you Daisuke," his friend replied before they left to scout out the grounds.
Unfortunately, because they were scouting, they missed their chance to get in on the action. Hiroshi's hunch about going off the board would have paid. Ranma entered the school grounds. Kuno noticed this and began one of his speeches. Ranma walked right past the ranting would be samurai without so much as a glance. By the time Kuno finished his speech, Ranma had already entered the building. Finding his target gone, Kuno thought for a moment, decided that the cowardly Saotome had conceded defeat and went to change into his own school uniform for the day.
-----
At lunchtime, Ukyo offered Ranma one of her deluxe special okonomiyaki, but as with Shampoo's food on the way to school, Ranma turned it down. He explained that he hadn't been very active lately, and therefore hadn't been eating much. Kasumi's bento should be more than enough to see him through.
Ukyo thought to herself, 'Ran-chan's turning down food? My food? What did his mother _do_ to him? What should I do? I mean, I want to be supportive, but I don't want to act clingy like Shampoo.' Suddenly inspired, she said, "That's all right. But if you want to talk, I'll be there."
"Thank you. I do wanna talk to ya sometime before I go to America."
"You can come by the Ucchan after school," Ukyo said hopefully.
"Can't," Ranma replied, "I'm goin' to the Cat Cafe to talk ta Shampoo and Cologne and probably fight Mousse."
"Oh. Well what about after school tomorrow?"
"Sure thing Uc-chan."
Satisfied by the promise, Ukyo sat down and ate the okonomiyaki she'd made for Ranma herself.
-----
Ranma spotted Mousse as he approached the Cat Cafe. The part time duck peered at his surroundings through thick glasses. Since he knew Mousse preferred not to wear them, Ranma figured that Mousse was looking specifically for him. 'Might as well get this done,' Ranma thought as he reviewed Mousse's preferred opening moves.
Mousse identified the black and red blur in front of him. "Peace Saotome. I've got no beef with you today," Mousse stated. This had the effect of throwing Ranma off badly.
Ranma blinked. "Not that I mind, but why no 'Die Saotome'?"
"Talked with your gaijin bodyguard. He's got the right idea. You just have a nice long trip."
"Jeff ain't my bodyguard," Ranma answered irately.
"Whatever. But your absence won't bother me at all."
Ranma wasn't stupid, he knew why. "Only if Shampoo don't follow me."
Mousse polished his glasses before he answered, "True. But Shampoo's English is worse than her Japanese. I'd probably be sent along as translator if she does decide to follow you. Either way works for me."
"Whatever, but you better practice your English."
Ranma moved past Mousse and steeled himself as he entered the Cat Cafe. This wouldn't be easy.
Cologne was first to notice Ranma's presence. "Good afternoon, son-in-law. Finally come to accept your marriage to my great-granddaughter?"
"No. I told Shampoo I wanted ta talk to her, so here I am."
Cologne told Shampoo to sit at one of the booths and turned over the work of running the restaurant to Shampoo's father. Cologne had heard rumors of what happened to Ranma over the weekend. She neither encouraged or discouraged Shampoo's first attempt to visit. She simply forbade additional trips. The strange gaijin who had involved himself in Ranma's affairs before had returned and he was a complication best avoided. Either way, she decided to join the conversation, invited or not.
After getting the unpleasantries over with, Ranma quickly got to the point. "I'm going ta America for a while and I don't know for sure when I'll get back. But I wanted ta talk to you and the old gh... Cologne before I left."
"Aiyah!" Shampoo exclaimed. "Airen want Shampoo to go America with airen?"
"An excellent idea son-in-law. Travel is a broadening experience, even for one such as myself," Cologne added. 'Haven't been to the States in ages. I wonder if San Francisco has changed any?'
The bottom fell out of Ranma's stomach. This was _not_ going as planned. 'Arrgh! Think first. Then talk,' Ranma told himself. Shampoo already followed him from her village to Nerima. It would be just like her to follow him some more. Before things could spiral further out of control, Ranma made a desperate attempt to regain the initiative. Ranma slapped both hands on the table as he stood up, breaking into Shampoo's 'Life with Ranma in America' fantasy. "No! I didn't say that! For once will you just listen?"
Cologne knew what Ranma had and hadn't said, but Shampoo was harder to bring back to reality.
"Airen no want Shampoo?" the purple haired Amazon cried. Tears were normally quite effective against men in general and Ranma in particular. Shampoo believed Ranma would be putty in her hands in mere moments.
"Shampoo, you are _not_ coming with me," Ranma began fiercely. "Nobody is coming with me. But I swear, on _my_ honor, if you use me bein' gone to attack anybody, you will regret it."
"Growing a spine son-in-law?" Cologne asked offhandedly. If she didn't know better, she'd suspect Ranma still held a grudge over the Reversal Jewel incident.
"More like a whole skeleton old gh- Cologne," Ranma retorted before he turned and left the restaurant.
Shampoo was shocked at Ranma's forcefulness. Cologne wondered if the boy had finally been pushed too far. Less than five minutes after Ranma left the Cat Cafe, Cologne was dialing Tendo Nabiki. She would pay the mercenary for all the information that she had about Jeffery Anderson before deciding on a course of action. The man seemed to have some sort of influence over son-in-law. After completing the call and arranging delivery of the limited information the middle Tendo girl had sold her, Cologne retired to her room to do some serious thinking on the current situation and the possible outcomes.
Despite Ranma's undeniable skills, Cologne had growing doubts about Ranma's ability to be brought into the Joketzu. If her great-granddaughter proved capable of bringing Ranma in, so much the better. But even if she managed the feat, could the Joketzu survive such a disruptive spirit? Ranma was as willful a male as she had ever met. His mere presence could cause the other males of the Joketzu to forget their places.
Times were changing faster than Cologne liked. Three thousand years of Amazon tradition meant little these days. Not in a world increasingly dominated by technology. The 'battle suits' that Shampoo and the others had fought the last time the American had been in Nerima, one did not need to be a warrior to use them. Amazon pride aside, Cologne knew that most Joketzu would fall to an attack from such devices. How could the old laws deal with something like that?
Life as the Joketzu knew it was ending. To continue in the ways of the past, without acknowledging the present or planning for the future, would doom her people. Cologne recognized the need for change. But how to get the rest of her people to see what she had seen? It would take time, thought and careful planning. The latter two were no problem, but would there be time?
-----
The way Saturday began felt a little more normal to Akane. Ranma had overslept, so she had to practically drag him to school after a hurried breakfast. Once on the school grounds, Kuno had said something about defeating Ranma 'yet again' and rushed to the attack while mouthing some nonsense about rescuing his
'beloveds'. Ranma gave Akane an irritated look and then things got a little strange.
Ranma bobbed below Kuno's first sword thrust. Normal enough. But then Ranma snatched the bokken from Kuno's grasp and snapped it in two. Then four. Then eight. Splinters of wood soon littered the ground.
"Unless you wanna attack me bare-handed Kuno-sempai, we're done now," Ranma stated coolly. Not waiting for a response, Ranma turned and strode for the school doors.
"How dare that fiend treat the weapon of the great 'Blue Thunder' in such a manner," Kuno said to no one in particular.
"Be grateful he didn't do it to you Kuno-chan," Nabiki commented as she passed by.
Akane realized that she was just standing there, just as shocked as Kuno, even if for other reasons. She hurriedly followed her sister into the school building.
-----
Ranma spent most of the abbreviated school day in the vice-principal's office. For once, it wasn't for disciplinary reasons. There was quite a bit of paperwork required before Ranma could leave as a foreign exchange student. He didn't know when Jeff had found the time to set it up, but as far as Furinkan High was concerned, Ranma was going abroad for his education for the remainder of the school year.
Seeing how quickly everything was being expedited, Ranma smelled a rat. It might have been Jeff being a good rat. It might have been Kuno-koucho being a bad rat. 'Might be both,' Ranma mused as yet another document was presented for him imprint with his hanko. Ranma figured that between Akane, Ukyo and *shudder* Kuno-sempai, keeping the mad principle under control shouldn't be much of a problem, so he chose not to worry about it.
After school, Ranma walked with Akane and Ukyo to Ucchan's. The walk over was quiet, neither girl wanting to speak with the other present. Once they got to the restaurant, Ranma asked that Ukyo stay closed until the talk was over. Ukyo agreed, but still prepped for business, warming up the grill and readying her base stocks of batter, cabbage and yakisoba noodles.
"I want both of ya to promise me sumthin'," Ranma began abruptly.
"What?" Akane asked suspiciously while Ukyo answered "Sure."
"I want ya to look out for each other while I'm gone."
"Why?" asked both girls.
"I don't trust Shampoo and Cologne... Well mostly Shampoo. I don't think the old ghoul would start nothin', but Shampoo might take shots at both of ya if I ain't around."
"Don't flatter yourself Ranma," Akane chided.
"Don't brush it off like it can't happen," Ranma retorted.
"I'm a martial artist I c-" Akane began angrily.
"Can take care of yourself," Ranma finished for her. "Akane, you were able to take out a buncha morons every morning before school, but Shampoo would eat ya alive in a real fight."
"Hmmph," Akane snorted and got on her high horse. Nothing Ranma said would affect her there.
Ukyo just shook her head at Akane's inability to admit when she was outclassed. Confidence was one thing, but overconfidence could get you stomped. Ukyo hadn't had a real mix up with Shampoo, but knew that unless she fought her very best, she'd go down to the Amazon eventually. In comparison, Akane would be easy pickings. "Should I?", she asked Ranma, holding up a brace of throwing spatulas.
Ranma merely nodded.
Akane lasted longer than Ranma figured. She avoided two sets of spatulas, which was one more than he had counted on. When the third set pinned her jacket to the doorframe, Akane wasted no time slipping free from the restraint. Unfortunately, not fast enough to avoid getting a smack on the hip from the flat of Ukyo's combat spatula. It stung, but didn't really slow her.
"Ranma! Don't just sit there!" Akane yelled.
Ranma just sat there. Ukyo pressed her attack with several quick slashes designed to keep Akane moving. Akane yanked a stool from the floor and blocked Ukyo's next two swings. But Akane's first offensive swing with the stool was her last. Ukyo deflected the attack, pivoted around the contact point, and unleashed a crashing blow with the handle of the spatula to Akane's jaw.
Staggered, Akane dropped the stool, and tried to back away to regain her equilibrium. "Ranma?!" she cried to no avail.
Ukyo, determined to finish what she started, pressed her advantage. Using the edge of her spatula to keep Akane wary, Ukyo kept backing Akane up until there was no place left for her to go. In desperation, Akane leapt up and over Ukyo to gain some space. But the tight quarters of the restaurant didn't have sufficient headroom for such a maneuver. Akane's feet banged against the ceiling and her trajectory was ruined. She fell, head first, toward the floor.
Akane's arms shot out to try for a break fall, but it wasn't necessary as Ranma bounded in to catch his 'uncute' fiancee. Relief over being spared a painful impact with the floor was overwhelmed by anger at Ranma for doing nothing before then. She tried to slug Ranma, but he blocked her. Not a dodge or a duck, but a solid block. It felt like hitting iron.
Nonplused, Ranma laid it out for Akane. "Ukyo just beat ya without taking a hit. You did better than I thought ya would, but ya still lost. Shampoo would make mincemeat out of you. If you try to fight her, you'll lose."
"I wasn't ready," Akane protested feebly.
"That's no excuse sugar," Ukyo put in while retrieving her throwing spatulas. Once the stool was re-bolted to the floor, the only damage to Ucchan's would be a few gouges here and there.
"Ucchan's right. You think Shampoo'd give up surprise? She don't care how she gets sumthin', as long as she gets it. I already told her if she attacked anybody while I was gone, she'd regret it."
"Like that'll stop her," Ukyo replied rhetorically.
"I hope so. I really do. But will you two look out for each other? Just in case."
Ukyo nodded her agreement, but an emotional Akane bolted from Ucchan's instead. "I better go after her Ucchan. Just do me one more favor."
"What?"
"Talk to Pops or Mr. Tendo and see if they'll start teaching ya some Anything Goes. Just in case _somebody_ disarms ya or catches ya unarmed." Ranma didn't wait for a response before dashing out of the restaurant after Akane.
'He cares', Ukyo thought. 'He really does. But why won't he love me the way I love him?' It was a distracted young woman that returned to the task of running an okonomiyaki shop.
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Akane ran as fast as she could. She didn't know whether to be mad at Ranma for deriding her fighting skills or at Ukyo for proving Ranma right. What did Ranma mean when he said she'd done better than he thought she would? If Ukyo had used the edge of her spatula instead of the flat on that first strike, the fight would have been over right then.
'I can't cook. I can't sew. I can't swim. I can't even fight. I'm completely useless,' Akane told herself again and again as she ran through the streets.
Eight kilometers later, she ran out of steam and leaned against a wall to cry.
"Akane... ya can't... just run from... your problems," Ranma panted from the top of the wall.
Akane was mildly pleased to see that Ranma was catching his breath. But her next words were still fueled by anger. "Why not? It's what you're doing, isn't it? Just run off to America with Jeff and leave all your problems behind," Akane cried out through her tears.
Ranma sighed, leapt down from his perch and explained quietly, "Akane, I may be leavin', but only so I can solve my problems. And I'm comin' back. I promised my mother, and I'm promising you. I _will_ come back."
"Why bother?" Akane demanded. "Why come back to an uncute tomboy who can't cook, can't swim and can't fight?"
"Akane, you're a good martial artist..."
"No I'm not. Don't try to tell me that," Akane sobbed.
"Let. Me. Finish. You're a good martial artist, for a normal person. But how many normal people do we know? Shampoo can bash through concrete walls without spilling a bowl of ramen. Ryoga breaks boulders with a finger. Mousse's hidden weapons outweigh Mousse. Happosai and Cologne are both a hundred years old and can do lots of stuff I can't. Heck, even Kuno chops down trees with a bokken. You think that's normal?" Ranma finished in a light-hearted tone.
Halfway through the list, Akane stopped crying. Her anger evaporated with her tears. "No," she answered quietly.
"Then stop worrying about stuff ya can't change and work on the stuff ya can," Ranma said.
Akane didn't think that what Ranma said made much sense, but she was glad that he was there anyway. Without another word, the two headed for home.
END CHAPTER 4
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