Choices Made, Roads Taken
Chapter 10: Meanwhile, Back in Nerima, Part II

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What's happened so far: After a near death experience, Ranma chooses to get out of Nerima for a while. Eventually, he wrote a few letters home, which has caused various plans to be set into motion.

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After closing for the night, Shampoo approached the door of her honored ancestor's room with some misgivings. Cologne had been withdrawn of late, working on some sort of special project. In fact, she had been leaving the running of the Nekohanten almost entirely to Shampoo's own father. Unusual for a man to be given such responsibility for such a prolonged period of time. But it was either allow her father to do the work or do it herself. 'And I have more important things to do,' Shampoo thought.

The door opened before Shampoo could knock. Taking this as an invitation, she entered. Cologne was sitting at her desk, apparently perusing a book of Amazon law. Closing the tome, Cologne turned to hear what her descendant had to say.

"Great-grandmother, I must speak with you," Shampoo said in her native tongue.

"What is it child?" Cologne asked in the same language.

"I know where to find Ranma. I bid your leave to pursue him as required by Amazon law."

"Ranma is in America, presumably in or around New York City. You already knew that. Why begin your pursuit now?"

"I have learned where to look for him. I know where he will be. I am certain of it. To search blindly is wasteful honored ancestor."

"Acceptable. But why not simply wait until he returns? I am not of the impression that he intends to emigrate."

"Amazon law aside," Shampoo said, gesturing at the tome in Cologne's hands, "it is my best chance to convince Ranma to be my husband. Without kitchen destroyer, or spatula girl, or even crazy flower girl to interfere, I can show Ranma that I would be his best choice."

'You've more competition than that', Cologne said internally. Aloud, Cologne asked, "And chasing him through a foreign country would do this how child?"

"It would show Ranma that I am serious about him. That I truly want him."

"If it were not the law of our tribe, would you chase Ranma so fervently?" The question was more important than it appeared on the surface.

There was a brief moment before Shampoo answered, "Yes, honored ancestor."

The response was not immediate. Had it been so, Cologne would have known that Shampoo hadn't thought about it. For her current plans to succeed, it would be important for Shampoo to deal with life outside the tenets and protections of Amazon law.

"You have my leave then, with certain restrictions," Cologne finally responded.

'She's going to stick me with that idiot Mousse', Shampoo thought before responding, "Yes honored ancestor."

"Unless your skill with English has miraculously improved, you will take a translator with you."

"Yes honored ancestor."

"It need not be Mousse if you can make other arrangements."

"Thank you honored ancestor."

"I will have final say over those other arrangements."

"Yes honored ancestor."

"You will also obey the laws of America while you are there to the best of your ability, not the laws of the Joketzu."

"Ancestor?" Shampoo asked in shock before noting the stern look on Cologne's face. The laws of the tribe were paramount. Why would great-grandmother do this? While Shampoo was still thinking that one over, Cologne dropped her next bombshell.

"Finally, as this pursuit is your idea, you shall be the one to pay any expenses involved. Neither I nor the tribe will provide you with one yen, yuan or dollar. You may use your own resources, such as they are."

"Yes honored ancestor," Shampoo said slowly. When Cologne said nothing further, Shampoo excused herself and returned to her own room to plan.

'Great-grandmother gives me permission to go and then hamstrings me as only she can. Think girl, think. Obey American law, I can ignore that one as it doesn't have anything to do with me getting to America. To get there, I must have a translator that great-grandmother approves of and money. I want Mousse with me about as much as I want to eat kitchen destroyer's cooking.

'Money. Does mercenary girl even have enough money to pay for two tickets to America? Even if I went as a cat and that idiot Mousse came along as a duck, how much would it cost? No, I refuse to indenture myself to Tendo Nabiki. It would be better to wait until Ranma comes back on his own. Money... Money... Of course.'

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Dear Ranma,

It was wonderful to hear from you. I am glad you are doing so well with your stay in America. Since you left, we have had very little rain at all, and what we do get is always at night. It is quite odd really.

Things have been rather quiet here lately. But I assure you, that does not mean that I would not like to have you home. Grandfather Happosai was here for a brief visit, but he left after a small fight with that nice Taro Pantyhose. Poor Taro-san apparently went back to Jusenkyo and was cursed again. His monster form now has octopus tentacles on the back and he can squirt ink from his fingers. But he very kindly cleaned up all the ink he spilled after the fight.

The family is well. Akane is working hard in the dojo every day. Nabiki is hardly ever home, she is so busy with her after school activities. Father is... Father. Uncle Genma and Auntie Nodoka stop by every Saturday to keep him company. Sometimes, I think he doubts that you will return. I have no doubts whatsoever.

As you can see, I've enclosed a few of my simpler recipes. I did not send the ones for octopus balls or eel teriyaki. I don't think Jeff really appreciates good seafood. And yes, that was a joke. I hope you and your hosts enjoy them. Please say "hello" to Anderson-san for me.

I do have a question though. Does that 'chili' recipe really call for 700 grams of ground beef? That seems like an awful lot for just six people.

Wishing you good health,
Kasumi.

Kasumi hoped that Ranma would continue to be all right. She also wanted Ranma to return. Not just for her sister's sake either. Honestly, life without Ranma was... boring. But when had excitement become important to her?

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Shampoo had been there once before, during the Martial Arts Takeout Race. That had not gone well. But this time, Shampoo was there to see the female tenant of the Kuno Fortress.

Mr. Green Turtle had been an interesting diversion. The armed servitors less so. The traps were just annoying after the first five or six. However, by use of sufficient amounts of Amazon cunning (little), skill (some) and brute force (lots and lots), Shampoo found herself face to bandaged face with Kuno Kodachi.

Kodachi attacked the Amazon on sight. Since Shampoo wanted a favor from the insane, but rich, gymnast, she didn't simply pound Kodachi into the floor as she longed to do. Thus the swirling ribbon scored a few glancing hits before being snatched away. The spiked clubs might have been a threat in capable hands, but Shampoo was more than fast enough to avoid those long enough to disarm Kodachi.

Not having a second to provide her with additional weapons put Kodachi at a disadvantage. The base-born foreigner was proving obstinate. But the tools of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics weren't the only ones Kodachi possessed. She launched a bouquet of her trademark black roses at the purple haired harlot.

Which Shampoo casually swatted back at Kodachi. The paralysis powder bomb concealed in the floral arrangement exploded in Kodachi's face. Shampoo saw Kodachi's body freeze up before falling to the stonework floor in a heap.

"Shampoo want tell flower girl important thing. Shampoo know where Ranma at. Flower girl want hear rest of story?

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Dear Ran-chan,

Great to hear from you, even if I'd rather have you back in Nerima where you belong. I've been wanting to write you a letter, but couldn't because I didn't have an address. About time you got around to writing me. Nice to hear about the weather in America being more to your liking. It's been pretty good here, lots of sunshine and only a couple mornings with hard frosts so far.

I'm fine. Business has been pretty good. School has been all right, if a little dull. Tsubasa keeps coming around though. No matter how many times I pound him, he keeps coming back for more. I think I know how Shampoo feels about Mousse now.

Speaking of whom, I've barely seen Shampoo at all since you left. She has been keeping a very low profile. Too low. As far as I know, she hasn't crossed Akane's path at all and she was making deliveries the few times I've seen her. I think she's taking what you told her seriously. Which is kind of strange in its own way.

Say "Hi" to Jeff for me. For an American, he is a pretty cool guy. But I bet you can't wait to get home and eat some real okonomiyaki. I'll send a couple more sauce recipes with my next letter, along with some notes. Maybe that will help his cooking. I promise I'll send some good ones. Only the best for you Ran-chan!

By the way, I've been taking Anything Goes lessons from your father. Four hours every Sunday. First thing he did was take away all my spatulas and other stuff and fight me bare handed. I have to admit, I was pathetic. But I got one solid punch in on him last Sunday. He damn near pulled my arm out of its socket right after, but I got him. It's been very interesting. Actually interesting isn't the right word, but I'm not sure what is.

And how's this for a laugh? Nabiki tried to sell me your return address. Asked 5000 yen for it. You should have seen her face after I turned her down. But if she tried to sell it to me, she may have sold it to other people. Keep your eyes open and write back soon.

Ucchan

'There. Friendly, but not clingy and completely mush-free,' Ukyo thought to herself as she placed the letter in an envelope. She then noted a suspicious looking bush approach the door of her restaurant and grabbed the big spatula. Sometimes the old ways were best.

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Kodachi played possum. The arrogant purple haired serving wench thought that she would be affected by her own formulas? The fool. But still, it gave Kodachi a chance to plan her next attack as well giving her an opportunity to exploit.

"Shampoo know how to find Ai- Ranma. Shampoo know flower girl want find Ranma too. If flower girl pay way, she can come along on hunt."

Kodachi had purchased the return address of Ranma's letter from the horrid Tendo Nabiki that very morning. She planned to begin her pursuit of her beloved as soon as the bandages came off. Which would be the very next day. She didn't need this harridan's assistance.

"And where we find Ranma, we find foreign man who interfere. Foreign man who take Ranma away. Flower girl have score to settle, no?" Shampoo knew that Ranma had left of his own free will, but pushing a few of Kodachi's buttons wouldn't hurt.

Kodachi rose gracefully to her feet, her attempt at guile forgotten. Her desire for revenge against the man who had so horribly damaged her beauty was greater than her desire to be at Ranma's side. "I already possess the information which you try to sell me interloper. I am thoroughly capable of taking my own revenge against the brown haired foreigner. What possible use would you be to one such as myself, The Black Rose of Saint Hebereke High School, Kuno Kodachi?"

Shampoo was caught flat-footed by Kodachi's reply. Shampoo suddenly realized that Kodachi might be insane, but she certainly wasn't stupid. At least not as stupid as she had thought. Attaching herself to Kodachi's plans might not be feasible. Maybe plan B instead. "Shampoo apologize, not know flower girl already have plan," she said as she sketched an informal bow. "Shampoo leave flower girl to revenge now."

While Kodachi was mentally running through several possible responses, Shampoo was already in search of the other major tenant of Fortress Kuno.

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Dear son,

Come home soon. Your mother misses you.

Saotome Genma

Genma never was much of a letter writer.

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"Ah purple haired ramen girl," began Kuno Tatewaki, "as much as you show your desire by coming to my home, nay to the very bedroom of myself, the rising star of the kendo world, the great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School, the undefeated Kuno Tatewaki, know that I only have room in my heart for my two loves, Tendo Akane, and the pigtailed girl." The lord of the fortress was in his room, staring at the poster sized photographs of his two loves in front of him. The rest of the room was adorned with additional pictures.

"How bokken boy say all that in one breath?" Shampoo asked.

"Circular breathing technique," Kuno explained.

"Oh." There was an awkward pause. "Shampoo want to get to point now."

"But I have already told you, I love another." Quickly, he added, "Two anothers. My heart can hold no more."

"THAT NOT POINT!" Shampoo struggled to get herself under control. No wonder Ranma thought Kuno was a pest. He was a bigger idiot than Mousse. But since he refused to believe that Ranma and his 'pigtailed girl' were the same person...

"You know Ranma leave Japan, right?" Shampoo asked.

"Yes. The foul sorcerer knew that he could not withstand my righteous might, so he fled like the cur that he is. Alas, the pigtailed girl seems to have left as well."

"You know pigtailed girl still -with- Ranma."

This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. The tirade Kuno launched into about the horribly unfair state of his poor, defenseless pigtailed girl lasted for twenty minutes. It took all of Shampoo's rapidly fading patience to calm him down and lead him back to the topic at hand.

"Shampoo know where to find Ranma. And where Shampoo find Ranma, bokken boy can find pigtailed girl."

"That's it!" cried Kuno, who leaped to his feet and struck a dramatic (to him) pose as thunder rumbled outside. "That explains why Tendo Nabiki tried to sell me the return address of a letter the fiend had sent to the Tendo family."

"You not buy?" Shampoo asked incredulously.

"Of course not. The coward fled, there is no need to know where he has gone to ground. Ah, if Tendo Nabiki had only told me this most tragic piece of news. I would have gladly paid any price. Fear not pigtailed girl, thy rescue commences forthwith!" Kuno was halfway to the door when his progress was stopped. By the time he peeled himself off the wall and turned around, Shampoo was kneeling in front of him.

"May Shampoo help bokken boy with rescue?"

Kuno pondered this unexpected request. "It is kind of you to offer, but how would a ramen delivery girl be able to assist one such as myself?"

"Shampoo know two thing bokken boy not know. Shampoo have Ranma address. Shampoo also know crazy flower girl seek Ranma so can get revenge on brown haired foreign man who take Ranma away."

For once, the mental gears inside Kuno's brain engaged without significant slippage. "My sister seeks Ranma so she can take revenge on the gaijin sorcerer?"

"Is what Shampoo say."

Kuno paced from one photograph covered wall to another. "The great and noble Blue Thunder finds himself on the horns of a dilemma. My mad sister is, for some strange reason, attracted to the sorcerer Saotome. However the other sorcerer, Anderson, unknowingly performed a great favor for myself by arranging her confinement. Ah, to be able to break my fast and to sup without worrying about my sister's misguided attempts to build up my resistance with her potions. Truly, it has been most pleasant." Apparently the fact that Jeff had threatened to castrate Kuno if he ever pointed a weapon at him had evaporated from Kuno's memory in the weeks and months after the event.

'He sure talks a lot' Shampoo thought. "Shampoo can cook, can fight too. Can keep crazy flower girl from interfering."

"Wait. Inspiration has struck like thunder," Kuno stated as he stopped pacing.

"Bokken boy mean 'like lightning'?"

"Nay, for I am the 'Blue Thunder', not the 'Blue Lightning'. Don't interrupt." After furrowing his brows in concentration, Kuno asked his audience of one, "Where was I?"

"'Inspiration has struck like thunder'", Shampoo quoted.

"Ah yes. My sister is devious, cruel and underhanded. But I do remember your performance in the 'Miss Martial Arts Takeout' race. Perhaps, if you use all your skill, you may be able to delay my sister long enough for me to defeat that wretch Saotome and wrest the pigtailed girl from his clutches at last. Will you assist me in my noble quest, purple haired ramen girl?"

Inwardly puking but outwardly smiling, Shampoo managed, "Shampoo do Shampoo's very best. One question. Bokken boy speak English?"

"But of course" were the first words of another twenty minute monologue. Not that Shampoo cared. She was going to America, and any obstacles would be dealt with. Permanently.

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Dear Ranma,

I am glad you are enjoying your stay in America. School has been good. The Drama Club is thinking of doing another play. I'm hoping for something that isn't Shakespeare. Maybe it will turn out better than "Romeo and Juliet".

Kuno keeps going on about how he has driven you from 'The hallowed halls of Furinkan High School'. He hasn't been bothering me any more than usual, but I think he is about ready to start that 'to date Tendo Akane, you must defeat her' stuff again. I am almost looking forward to him trying.

As for Kodachi, no one has seen her since before you left. Nabiki sold me information that Kodachi has gone to a plastic surgeon about her nose, but also that she didn't really have to. Which is sufficiently warped for her.

And if Jeff doesn't want to tell you what I'm doing, why should I? Nyah! Just kidding. I am sure you can wait and find out when you come back. But I think the agility drills are helping. Tell Jeff I said so. When are you coming back? You did promise.

As for your apology, what can I do but accept? Stay well.

Tendo Akane

'I don't love him. Not that perv...' Akane couldn't force herself to finish the thought. Since Ranma had left, Akane had become less able to lie to herself. Instead of venting all of her frustrations on Ranma, she actually had to deal with some things on her own. 'And I don't miss him either.' That's less able, not unable.

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"You're kidding, right? Please tell me that you're not going to America with _Kuno_," Mousse pleaded. The part time duck was so shocked that he forgot that he loved Shampoo more than life itself.

"Great-grandmother give approval. Shampoo not care what stupid Mousse think," Shampoo ground out before throwing a glass of water at Mousse and stuffing him in his cage for the night.

'What the hell was she thinking?' Mousse asked himself repeatedly over the next hour. 'She' switched between Shampoo and Cologne several times before Mousse fell asleep.

END CHAPTER 10