Chapter 16: Confrontation

            Seven spoke to both Éomer and Éowyn the next day, but it took as much arguing as speaking to get Éomer to accept her presence on the mission and to convince Éowyn to stay behind.  Éowyn was far too badly injured to come, but she did not wish to accept it.  Seven could sympathize.  She knew the frustration inactivity could bring.  Éomer was stubborn, and eventually Seven decided to ride with the Rangers rather than continue to fight him for a place with the Rohirrim.  Aragorn accepted her gladly.  Another woman, even Éowyn, he might have tried to turn back, but Seven had already proved herself on the ride to Minas Tirith.  She spent most of the afternoon practicing archery, then went to her tent to pack her things. 

            That evening, as Seven was preparing for the ride, Legolas found her.  "What are you doing, Lady Seven?"  The title was deliberate.

            "I am preparing for the ride tomorrow."

            "I can see that.  Why?"

            "I wish to continue my role in this war."

            "You realize this attack is suicide?  That its only purpose is to buy time?"  Seven nodded.  "We ride with seven thousand troops—barely enough to catch Sauron's attention.  It is folly."

            "Then why are you going?"  Seven didn't even look up from the bag she was packing.

            "Because—because this is my war, my world.  You owe us nothing.  Why do you stay here?  Gandalf told me you could have gone home."

            "I have no home there.  Middle Earth is the closest thing to home I have.  I do not wish to go back, and I will certainly not abandon it in the midst of a war for its very survival."  Seven surprised herself with the words, but they were sincere.

            "This is not your war, Seven.  Go home."  Legolas' voice was firm, almost harsh.

            "No."  Seven straightened and looked him in the eyes.  She was only slightly shorter than him and she held his gaze evenly.

            "Why will you fight?"

            "Because I must.  I fight for the same reason you do—because Sauron must be fought.  If he is not defeated, Middle Earth is lost.  That is why I will continue to fight.  Aragorn and Gandalf have already agreed that I am to ride."

            "And if you die here in a land that isn't even yours?"

            "I have made it my own.  If I die, it will be for a worthy cause.  My life before had no purpose.  I was alone and isolated.  Here, I have a cause for which to fight—and die, if need be.  Here I am accepted because of what I am, not feared because of what I was."

            "I don't understand."

            "I was not simply a slave to the Borg—I became one of them.  My own people have difficulty looking beyond my history as a Borg.  Here it does not matter."

            "Why can't you wait here with Éowyn?  One sword will not make a difference in this fight."

            "Because I've already committed to going.  I want to go, Legolas.  Éomer and Éowyn both tried to talk me out of it, too, but still I am going.  Why should I change my plans because you are uncomfortable with a woman fighting?"

            "It isn't that, Seven.  I know you can fight as well as any of us.  You proved that in the battle for the city."

            "Then what?"

            "I—I—aagh!"  Legolas groaned with frustration, half turning away from Seven.  Before she could realize what was happening, he turned back and kissed her, hard.  She stiffened for a moment, then relaxed and kissed him back.  Legolas held her for a long time, pulling her head against his shoulder once he broke the kiss.

            "I am still going."  Seven's words were muffled against his shirt.

            "I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I?"  Legolas ran his fingers idly through her hair.

            "No."

            Legolas drew away from her just far enough to look into her face.  "I wish you would stay here."

            "I will not."

            He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly before turning and walking away quietly.

            Seven sat down heavily on her pallet.  Her knees were strangely weak.  It took two minutes before she could regulate her breathing and heart rate.  She sat for another minute, trying to quiet her emotions, then went back to packing, trying to distract herself from what had just happened.

            As she did, Seven thought back to her life before Middle Earth.  When Chakotay was killed, she had retreated from society and friendship.  Captain Janeway had tried to talk to her a few times.  So had the Doctor, but she had buried herself in her work, barely taking time to reply to their messages.  Chakotay had wanted, above all, for her to be happy.  She had always assumed that happiness would come to the two of them, together.  In the months since his death, she had lost much of the progress she'd made towards regaining her humanity.  It was why she had fled to Vulcan.  Life on Vulcan was easier than on Earth, but there was no fulfillment on either planet.

            What were her motives in pursuing this mission?  Did she truly believe what she had told Gandalf, Éomer, and Legolas?  Or was this simply another way to remain occupied, and perhaps an excuse to die?  Examining her motives, Seven finally concluded that she had told the others the truth.  This war needed to be fought simply because Sauron had to be opposed.  This mission was necessary to buy time for the destruction of the Ring.  Middle Earth had truly become her home.  It was not enough to call the entire planet her home, but for now it was enough.  Now, she would fight.  After the war, she would find a specific place to call home. 

            The thought of living forever disturbed her.  Many people sought after infinite youth, but Seven questioned the merits of it.  Even here, she was alone, and eventually she would want some sort of end or conclusion.  After a while she dismissed the thought as irrelevant at the time.  It was an issue that could be addressed at a later time.

            What could not wait was the strange encounter with Legolas.  She was uncertain about her feelings toward him.  The rational part of her brain told her that it was too soon after Chakotay's death for another relationship, but logic seemed to have little place in this world.  She had seen miraculous healing, magic, and an army of dead spirits.  In a world like this, why should logic have any sway?  The fact remained that they were both going on a very dangerous mission, and it was entirely likely that one or both of them might not survive it.  To allow herself to love Legolas would be asking for another heartbreak.  She also knew that relationships between humans and Elves were extremely rare and were generally frowned upon.  Yet, the fact remained that he was the one who had initiated the kiss.  Eventually, Seven concluded that she would not be able to reconcile the issue within her mind, not at the moment, so she let it drop.

            Seven looked over her things once more and decided they were as prepared as they could be.  She laid down and tried to sleep, but sleep was slow in coming.  Eventually, she dropped off.  She slept for about three hours before getting up again in the middle of the night.  She had no desire to sit in her tent the rest of the night, so she brushed her hair and tied it back with a strip of cloth, then left the tent quietly and walked out toward the river.