Spilt Sauce Part Three
By Silver Vaporeon
Thoughts are in italics and ***'s signify a scene change. Oh and guess what? I bought the rights to Ranma ½ and its characters! Wow! Isn't that neat? And people actually use their turn signals before they switch lanes! And they stop for that stop sign near my school as well. What? They don't? Dang. That made my previous statement false.
Closer we're coming….closer yet so far…..
On with the story!
*********
"I am telling you, she'll be fine, guys," Ranma said, one arms behind his head in a casual manner as he walked on the chain-link fence after school. The other hand carried the large battle spatula of his friend. Akane, Daisuke, Hiroshi and Miki seemed uneasy despite Ranma's reassuring as they walked alongside on the sidewalk. They turned right and stopped at the vacant lot where Ukyo had advertised that she would be making her specialty in the form of her own martial arts.
The vacant lot was truly vacant.
True enough, there was the wooden framework of a battling arena not unlike the one Ranma had fought Ukyo on when they had first got reacquainted. However, everything else was missing except for the boys and the small crowd that was just arriving.
Ranma felt a small lump rise in his throat and he hastily swallowed.
"I am sure she's on her way right now. P-probably still getting ready," Ranma attempted to find an excuse. Unfortunately, it was more flimsy than a toothpick house held together with gluestick. A workman in blue overheard Ranma and came up to him and his friends with a large plank of wood lifted to his shoulder and a burning cigarette in his mouth, adding to his stereotypical appearance of a construction worker.
"I wouldn't count on anythin', kid," the man said. "The girl called me up today an' told me not t' bother with helpin' her move equipment o'er here. Said she wuz feelin' a tad under t' weather today."
"…'on her way right now', huh?" Hiroshi repeated, looking at Ranma accusingly. Ranma scowled back, tightening his grip on the metal weapon in his hand. It wasn't his fault that everything had turned out the way that it did.
"I suggest that we walk by and check on how she's doing," Miki said. "I still have to drop off my notes that she asked for."
"Yeah! I think that would be a great idea!" Akane piped up. Both Ranma and Daisuke sighed disapprovingly.
"Don't you think that would be a little too overwhelming? I don't think she'd want all of us at her place asking if she was all right and stuff," Daisuke pointed out. Ranma agreed.
"Then how about I and Ranma go then?" Miki suggested. "I have a reason for going and I believe that it would cheer Ukyo up to see her fiancé."
"Sure….I guess," Ranma agreed, slightly uncomfortable with being referred to as Ukyo's fiancé. Akane twitched. Without another word, she slammed her stiff book bag down on the pigtailed boy's head and stomped off rather than walked off. Large drops of sweat appeared on the backs of the remaining boys' heads as they watched the angry girl disappear down the road and felt the tremors of the ground subside.
"Umm…see you guys later, I guess. Say hi to Ukyo for us," Hiroshi finally broke the ice and he and Daisuke headed off towards their homes, leaving Miki and Ranma alone with the departing crowd who had heard that the event had been canceled. Ranma removed the brown school bag from his head and hurled it in the direction of the Tendo Dojo where it landed on the shoji board, scattering the game pieces everywhere. A crying Soun Tendo thanked the gods as the giant panda he was playing against held up a sign covered with obscene words to express his rage.
Solving the problem with Akane's bookbag, Ranma and Miki departed from the vacant lot and walked over to Ucchan's.
The restaurant was dark and the door was locked when they arrived. A simple white sign announced that the restaurant was closed for the day.
"I suppose we should come back another time, Ranma Saotome," Miki said matter-of-factly as he pushed the bridge of his tinted glasses up with a finger.
"I guess she never told ya 'bout her system with me," Ranma said as he drew a small brass key from his pocket. "She insisted that I have a key for her door a while ago." He unlocked the door and silently slid it open. Both boys entered, their eyes taking to adjust to the unusual darkness that resided within. When they could make out vague outlines of large structures, they made their way to the backstairs which led to Ukyo's private quarters.
"Ucchan!" Ranma called through the door. "It's Ranma and Miki. Can we come in?"
There was the sound of shuffling and drawers being hastily opened and closed and then silence.
"Come in then," Ukyo sighed. Ranma slid the door open and half-expected to see his "cute" fiancée in tears from the way she sounded. However, the girl appeared slightly miffed and melancholy at most as she sat upon her futon, dressed in her dark blue yukata patterned with soft pink flowers. There was one other time he saw that expression on a girl's face and that situation was not unlike the one he was facing.
Ukyo unconsciously had her fingers curled around a lock of her hair. It took Ranma a second to recognize Ukyo without her long chestnut mane. She had obviously trimmed it a little to make it appear neater and more of a deliberate haircut instead of a hacking
The two boys sat near the bedding, sitting back on their heels. Miki was the first to speak.
"I've brought you the notes from class today. Mr. Watanabe says there's going to be a test on Thursday after our vac-" he began to take out his notebook but Ukyo silenced him with a turn of her head, looking at the ground with quivering eyes.
"Why even bother? I am going to be expelled anyways," she said softly but angrily. Miki sighed and silently got up to place the notebook on her desk before sitting down again. Unfortunately, Ranma did not know how to deal with upset people very well and patted her on the back in an amiable manner.
"Come on, Ucchan. It can't be that bad," Ranma tried to cheer her up, putting her spatula into her hands. He then opened his school bag and set her sliced bandolier and miniature utensils on the carpeted floor. "I mean, school isn't that important. I mean, you're running a good business here an' stuff."
"…maybe your education is not so important to you, Ran-chan…" Ukyo said, gripping her weapon, "but my father had always said that I should at least get through high school and now that I've probably been expelled, the other high school nearest here won't have…." She trailed off, unable to say that she was afraid that without her presence at Furinkun, Akane would have Ranma all to herself during the school hours. Ranma bit his lip. He hadn't anticipated that his well-meaning words would upset his third fiancée. He switched over to Plan B.
"Don't look so glum, Ucchan," Ranma said, tilting her head up with a gentle hand. "I want to see your cute smile." Ukyo blushed as she stared back at her fiancé and managed a weak smile. That was Ranma for you; he might have screwed some things up but he had this thing with cheering up his fiancées. Ranma grinned back and picked up his backpack.
"I hope you're feeling better, girl," Ranma said as he stood up. "Hiroshi and Daisuke told me to say hi for them. I am sure everythin' will work out somehow. Sorry for havin' to leave so soon but the Tendos are going on a trip during the break so I hafta get back and help pack up."
Ukyo's face and heart fell. Her fiancé was going to spend time with Akane during the break instead of her and the disappointment showed.
"…I understand, Ran-chan. Have fun," she sighed, setting her large spatula aside. Miki looked silently at the girl who appeared so forlorn and tired. He cleared his throat.
"I will have to go as well. My family is having a dinner party tonight and I can't afford to miss it. If you have any problems, give me a call," he said, referring to the book of math notes he left on her desk. The girl nodded and waved silently as the two boys exited her room. She heard the sounds of the sliding door being opened and shut, the metallic jingles as it was locked and the sound of footfalls fade away. Ukyo sighed again. Ranma was right; there was no use in dwelling on what happened if she couldn't change it.
She rummaged for the tv remote that had mysteriously disappeared under her futon and turned the small television on. As she watched a new episode of one of her favorite action shows, she couldn't help remembering the anger she had towards a certain bandanna'ed boy. As the action and drama of the program climaxed, she realized that Ranma's kind words had only distracted her attention from the issues at hand. She had not gotten over the events at all and felt as if a bottomless lonely and angry void resided within her. Ukyo gripped the remote control tightly as the image of Ryoga Hibiki refused to leave her mind. She snapped out of her angry trance-like state as the loud discharges of a machine gun erupted from the television. A second later, the main character, Masao Hitohiro, cried out as a bullet found its mark in his right shoulder and crimson blood splurged everywhere. He lost his grip on the speeding car he was clinging to and fell into the river below the bridge the vehicle was passing on.
"NO-!!! MASAO!" his girlfriend shrieked from the car as the scene zoomed out to show someone's feet upon a hill overlooking the scene. The shot faded into darkness with the words "to be continued" following it and the credits rolled as the cheesy yet catchy theme song played.
Ukyo hurled the remote at the set, frustrated that she had blanked out during the scenes in-between and did not understand the ending. The device hit the side of the television, causing the latter to break out into blaring static. Annoyed by the static-y display that made her think of an accident at a pepper-and-salt factory, she flung a miniature spatula at the 'off' button. The piece of metal managed to turn the television off but it had embedded itself in the plastic switch in the process.
"Jackass," she muttered, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "You distracted me."
****
"Stop being mean to P-chan!" Akane chastised Ranma as she hugged her pet piglet to her chest, rubbing at the bump that had appeared on P-chan's head as a result of Ranma's good aim with a plastic pan. The half-naked girl Ranma snarled at the piglet who stuck his tongue out at the red-headed girl.
"I would if the dumb pig would stop arguing with me in the bathroom!" Ranma yelled; her voice reaching a higher octave than usual.
"Uh huh, like P-chan can talk with you!" Akane glared. "You were picking on him again, weren't you?!"
Ranma grit his teeth. It was times like these that he wished that he had not vowed to keep the Lost Boy's curse a secret from Akane. The only things that came out of that vow were more beatings from his bellicose fiancée and battle scars from P-chan's biting and kicking frenzies. It angered him further that the pig would seek refuge behind Akane, receive a kiss on the snout and then go off to sleep in the same bed with her.
"I wouldn't waste my breath on that dumb P-brain," Ranma spat. It was so unfair that Ryoga would always grab the pan of cold water when he didn't want to talk to him to transform into P-chan and then team up with Akane to pulverize him. It just wasn't fair. At least the pork-butt could have only transformed himself instead of splashing him as well.
"And I am sure he wouldn't want to spend time to do the same either," Akane replied. "Right, P-chan?" she cooed in a sickening sweet way to the small black animal that had snuggled into her soft flannel nightshirt. Ranma drew close to P-chan and glared cross-eyed at him with an angry scowl.
"Stupid swine. Won't even stand still to talk about what happened today, huuuuhh?" Ranma stretched the corners of her mouth with her index fingers and waggled her tongue at the agitated animal. The loudest recorded scream in history erupted from the Tendo household when a set of razor-sharp teeth sank into Ranma's vulnerable tongue.
***
"Oh, Ranma, are you all right?" Akane asked again as she put away the first-aid kit. Ranma stopped shooting death-glares at P-chan with her mouth slightly open and her damaged tongue hanging out and looked at Akane who looked deeply concerned.
The pigtailed girl was now clad in a white tanktop that had the word 'EXCEL' printed across the front in bold black letters as well as the usual blue-and-yellow boxers.
"Whacht youthiahck, stoohpid?" Ranma managed to say. Akane 'hmphed'. So much for being thanked after the whole fiasco. She turned her attention to P-chan. He looked at her with large "I-am-so-cute-and-innocent" eyes and cowered as he sensed anger from his mistress.
"I know that it was Ranma's fault for hitting you but you know better than to bite him like that! Bad P-chan!" Akane scolded. Ranma couldn't believe her ears. Akane actually scolding P-brain? That was a first.
"Though it would be nice to not have to listen to him talk so much," she smirked. Ranma fell over. Not fair. It just wasn't fair.
Akane's expression turned serious again. "But I'll have to teach you a lesson, P-chan. What if you bite someone else? People might think you have rabies and Daddy would send you away." P-chan shook his head as if to say that he wouldn't bite anyone else (in fact he was) but Akane Tendo remained firm. She scooped the piglet up and kneeled to set him down outside on the grass in the yard. P-chan squealed in protest and looked at the blue-haired girl.
She swatted him a little hard on the rump and started heading inside. "You'll sleep outside tonight, P-chan. I'll let you back in tomorrow before we leave." She looked at the sad piglet before her and then to the skies which were being covered by dark clouds. She then added, "if it starts to rain, be smart and go under the house to sleep." She then shut the door.
The large rabbit-like ears of P-chan lowered as he sat on the soft green grass looking rather miserable. He gave a soft 'bwee' and wandered to the far corner of the yard, his little piggy heart dashed into a million pieces. Ryoga Hibiki was a man with a heart of glass and his alter ego shared the same characteristic. Many would call him overreactant for the boy was overly emotional and took things at least nine times as hard as a normal person would. Luckily for him, many girls found that characteristic cute. Unfortunately, it always gave him great grief when Akane was involved.
Akane had hit him. HIS Akane had hit him….
Tears blurred his vision as he wandered blindly through a small hole in the wall. With surging emotions of sorrow expressing themselves as loud 'bwees', P-chan tore down the streets; neither knowing nor caring where he got lost this time as rain visited the district of Nerima yet again
.
*****
Ukyo opened her blue umbrella before stepping out into the rain. Putting out the trash was one of her least favorite activities but being a restaurant owner, she could not allow ants and other pesky critters roaming around in her property. She walked over to the large trash can near her restaurant and lifted the lid, taking care not to breathe in the noxious odors. The okonomiaki cook quickly disposed of her trash bag and replaced the lid. She took a deep breathe, the smell of wet pavement reaching her nose. She looked down the road at the lit houses and noticed something out of the ordinary. A small black blur was moving towards her, squealing at the top of its lungs.
"What's that?" She wondered aloud, stepping further into the road. The blur ran nearer and slammed into Ukyo's shins, nearly knocking her off balance and getting her wet. She sighed in relief that she remained dry; it would have been a hassle to journey down to the public baths again, especially when it was raining. Remembering that something had slammed into her, she looked down at her sandaled feet. A small black pig was shaking his head, completely dazed from colliding with her legs. Ukyo saw the yellow bandanna and immediately recognized him.
"Why you're Akane's pet pig!" she addressed the miniature barn animal as she scooped him up with her free arm.
"What are you doing out here? You're soaking wet," she stated rather than asked since she considered it silly to be talking to a pig.
"Bwweeeeee…." P-chan moaned, trying to remember if it was illegal to lick doorknobs on Mars or not. Ukyo looked at him strangely.
"Better get you inside before we both catch cold, Sugar," Ukyo said as she carried him back inside. The door slid shut and Ukyo set the piglet on the ground. P-chan dried himself off in the manner not unlike a dog, sending small water droplets everywhere. The okonomiaki cook sighed, not wanting to bother to clean up the small wet areas. She walked over to the small pink pay phone that sat at the corner of her restaurant and deposited a ten-yen piece. Hearing the dial-tone, she punched in the number for the Tendo residence. The ringing of the telephone purred in her ear. As she waited, Ukyo watched P-chan crawl to a secluded corner and sulk. He sneezed and continued to look glum. Ukyo couldn't help but feel slightly amused at the human-like qualities the small piglet possessed.
"Hello, Tendo residence," Nabiki picked up, sounding like her usual self. The sounds of usual war were heard in the background and Nabiki gave an audible sigh of annoyance. Yup. The sounds of normality at the Tendo Residence.
"Hi, Nabiki," Ukyo started, the fingers on her free hand playing with the phone cord. "Is Akane in?"
"Sure, hang on. She's trying to kill Ranma again." Ukyo heard the phone being placed on a table and distantly heard Nabiki yell for Akane. The cacophony in the background suddenly stopped. The silence was replaced with the sound of wood connecting with skull and then the pattering of feet.
"Hello?" Akane answered, sounding too pleasant to have been involved with another squabble with Ranma.
"….yeah. Hello, Akane. It's Ukyo," Ukyo replied.
"Oh, hey! How have you been, Ukyo? I've been worried about you! Are you-"
"Yeah, I am fine. Don't worry about me, alright?" Ukyo cut the other girl off, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Anyways, I was walking around outside when a little pig crashed into me. I think it's your P-chan."
"P-chan?!" Akane squealed, alarmed. "B-but I –hold on- P-chaaan-!" Akane had set down the phone and went calling for her pet pig. A minute later, she returned to the phone, sounding out of breath.
"He must have wandered out through that hole we have in the wall. Thank you so much for finding him, Ukyo!" Akane said, grateful.
"Hey, it's no big deal. Poor guy seems so depressed," The chestnut-haired girl glanced over at P-chan who was still sulking in the corner, looking more like a lost puppy than a pig.
"Yeah…I sorta had to punish him today. Can I talk to him?" Akane asked with concern in her voice
Ukyo raised an eyebrow, glad that Akane couldn't see her puzzled expression. Akane was a strange one, alright. She talks to her pet pig on the phone, she couldn't help thinking.
"Sure…" Ukyo make a beckoning motion with her hand. P-chan looked at her and then slumped down again.
"Hey, piggy," Ukyo hissed, clamping a hand over the mouthpiece. "It's Akane. She wants to talk to you."
At his mistress' name, P-chan bounded over and Ukyo scooped him up. He pressed his ear to the receiver and let out a small oink.
"P-chan!" Akane's voice came forth. "My poor baby! I am sorry I hit you. Are you alright? Did you catch cold?"
P-chan gave a small squeal, replying 'no' to reassure Akane. She cooed again, filling his heart with fuzzy goodness.
"I am so relieved! Will you ever forgive me, baby?"
"Bwee!"
Ukyo lifted the receiver to her ear. She nodded as Akane explained that she'd pick up her pet the next morning before she left for her trip. Saying goodbye, she replaced the phone to its proper place and set P-chan down.
His Akane wasn't mad at him! She wasn't mad at him!
P-chan danced a little piggy jig around the restaurant. Ukyo gave a weak smile; even the Tendo family's pets were strange.
**********
Still setting the stage…yeah, yeah, I take forever with these things. I promise you that I shall attempt to bring in the more humorous aspects of this fic in later chapters. Where's the romance, you ask? ….I think I ordered it online a while ago…I still haven't received it. Damn. Yes, yes, it's coming….hopefully it will be convincing. Yatta. Thanks for reviewing, people! It makes me feel fuzzy.
Thanks for being my vic- erm, I mean beta-reader for this fic, Kat!(everyone go read Kat's work NOW! She's a gazillion times better at writing than me!) And look! Masao wormed his way into this! Damn him! XD
[EXPLANATION] Yes, I do know that [some] people of Furinkin High know that Ukyo is a girl. However, the number of people who do know is debatable (I am familiar with her intro story and I highly doubt that the whole school could have fit in the storage room…word can get around but yeah; I based part of this logic on the Ukyo's Skirt episode where no one outside of her homeroom recognized her besides Kuno. Kuno is smart.). That is why I said the ignorant students now knew her true gender…. I hope that explained my choice of confusing wording. [/EXPLANATION]
Errrmm….until the next update! …whenever that might be. (*COUGH*HACK*reviewsaregood*COUGH*)
-SV