The Knight and the Jester

Chapter Six

Chip saw Al start walking again, so he picked up the phone and chair and followed him. He had to tug a little on the phone cord. Al walked around what Chip imagined was the side of the tree and suddenly stopped short. He looked first up, then down, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Um, Chip," he said, pointing ahead of him. "That thing doesn't actually fly, does it?"

"Which thing is it?"

"The one with the balloon and the...beach bottle?"

"Oh, the Ranger Plane. That works fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure, unless Gadget worked on it lately."

Al started forward and looked up at nothing at a 45-degree angle. "Sam, do you know if Gadget worked on the Ranger Plane today?" He turned back to Chip. "He says yes. Hey, Chip, why are you looking so nervous--didn't you tell me she's a good engineer?"

"Well, yes, I did, but sometimes she lets the occasional bug slip in."

Al looked sternly at Chip. "Bugs are never introduced by experienced engineers. Anomalies...possibly. Sam, do you remember her using the words 'should' or 'no problems' when describing her improvements?"

Chip could do nothing more than gape at Al. Just what I need, he thought. Another engineer.

Al walked forward a few steps, then turned. "Okay, Chip, put your chair right there on the wing," he said, pointing at a spot in front of him. "That way it won't look like you're floating in mid-air. Gooshie?"

A voice came out of the speaker in the ceiling. "Yes, Admiral Calavicci?"

"Sam's going to be moving soon, so be sure to keep me centered on him."

"Yes, Admiral."

Al sighed. "So formal. Reminds me of Marcie and Peppermint Patty."

Mulder exited the Quickie Mart, munching on sunflower seeds. Under his arm was issue 284 of Kablammo Man. Dale had first turned him on to the comic a decade ago, when it was being published by a mouse outfit for small animals--it had done so well that the publishers set up a human front operation to reprint for the "big kids". He was walking across the street to his rendezvous point with Scully while mulling over some of his last conversations with the Rangers when he got an idea. He wanted to make a call, but needed to keep the cell phone free, so he walked back to the pay phone next to the Quickie Mart.

After about five rings, the phone was picked up by Langley. "Hi Mulder. What's up?"

Mulder was bored enough to pay attention to what he just heard. "Hey, how'd you know it was me?"

Myers answered the question with another question: "Who else would be calling us from a pay phone located 2 feet, 3 inches from your cell phone?"

Mulder glanced down at the pocket containing his phone. "Don't you guys have better things to do than track me around the country?"

Frohike decided to field this one. "And don't you have anything better to do than call us while you're waiting for your stunning partner to show up?"

"By the way," added Myers, "she hasn't moved an inch for the last fourteen minutes, so you probably have a long time to wait."

"Well," started Mulder, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, "since I am waiting for Agent Scully to report in, I was wondering, out of pure curiosity, if you might have come across anyone on the 'net with a handle of 'Gadget'."

"'Gadget'?" asked Langley to himself. "There have to be about a hundred 'Gadget's on the web. Male or female?"

"Female, but she probably wouldn't emphasize it in conversation. She's an engineer and inventor, a bit on the scatterbrained side, but very passionate about certain issues, such as animal rights. She..."

"Hold it right there," interjected Frohike. "Do I detect the note of love in your voice? Am I alone? Did you hear it too?"

"Oh I heard it," said Langley. "Shall we make it unanimous?"

"I'll go along for the sake of argument," added Myers, reluctantly.

"So love it is," concluded Langley. "Who's the sweetie, Mulder? Data entry clerk or chief programmer for the CIA?"

Mulder was taken back by the sudden turn in the conversation. Then it suddenly occurred to him that once Sam Beckett successfully changed history, this conversation would never take place. "I wouldn't call it love," he said, grinning. "More like respect and admiration."

"Oh yes, I'm sure that's all it is," Frohike said in his most insinuating voice. "So tell us peons who she is."

"Well actually, she is a small white mouse with genius intelligence who invented a device for taking to humans. I've lost track of her and..."

"You need us to find her before she takes over the world," concluded Myers, dryly. "You know, Mulder, if you wanted to get back at us for all the times we've hoodwinked you, you could do a little better than an intelligent mouse! You didn't even leave the slightest hint that this 'Gadget' could be a shape-changing alien..."

"...or an escapee from NIMH..."

"...or a super-realistic robot built from self-evolved nano-technology..."

"...or anything else remotely believable. Now don't feel too down on yourself: you had us going there for a little while at least."

Mulder could make out Langley whispering "not really" and Myers hissing "quiet! do you remember how much he moped around here the last time we got him down?" Mulder sighed in resignation. "Never mind guys--sorry to have wasted your time." He hung up before any of the Lone Gunmen would have a chance to apologize.

As he was re-crossing the street for the second time, Mulder's cell phone rang. He stopped right where he was, pulled out the phone, and flicked it open.

"Mulder!" cried the voice on the phone.

"Scully!" answered the agent in concern.

At that moment Scully realized that she had shouted her partner's name from nothing more than force of habit, so she grinned and cried out "Tetsuo!"

"Kaneda!!"

They both laughed for a bit, then Mulder pressed the speed dial button he had programmed with Al Calavicci's number.

"...and so that's what you do if you're ever shot down over enemy territory." Al leaned back and waited for a reaction.

Sam and Chip both had reactions, but they were entirely different from each other. Sam marveled that his friend could tell that harrowing tale so calmly (especially considering what he knew of what happened after the point where Al stopped). Chip on the other hand was amazed that anyone could survive the kind of stress he had just heard about.

According to Al, the Rescue Rangers were currently in the air en route to the Happy Tom Cat Food Factory. Foxglove was flying on the opposite side of the Ranger Plane from where Sam perceived Al to be floating. Sam had asked for a story of Al as a pilot mostly to switch him from his earlier topic, which was of his days as a guano collector. The stories had been quite gruesome by bat standards.

Just then the phone in Chip's lap rang. The chipmunk shot six feet into the air, and Al had to lunge to grab the phone and the headset before they hit the floor. Cradling the phone in his hands, he pressed the speakerphone button.

"Hello, is anyone there?!" the phone squawked.

"I can hear you just fine, Scully," said Al. "Have you found something already?"

Al heard the sound of Agent Scully flipping through her notepad. Wish the government would buy me a cell phone good enough to pick up sound like that, he thought glumly.

"Let's see," she said, "Seven years ago...she was in her 'pomology phase'...design for a cucumber-sized cucumber pickler that uses the hull of the brazil nut as...and then...well, she said she couldn't remember what happened on the night in question. It's possible that whatever happened was so traumatic that she blocked the memory to preserve her sanity."

"Well that's encouraging," remarked Al sarcastically.

"I asked her about the break-up, and she said that it was caused by Chip taking over more and more of the work of the cases over the years, until there was nothing for the rest of them to do. She said that Dale was probably more likely to know what was bugging him, and directed me to St. Nerses Shnorhale Armenian Apostolic Church to talk to him. She said not to bother with Chip, because he would be a 'hard nut to crack'. Mulder, are you still there?"

"Yes, Scully."

"The church is a lot closer to me than you are, so I'll tackle this alone. Find some way to amuse yourself till I get back."

Mulder chuckled. "Already taken care of. Sorry we couldn't be more help, Al."

"You did what you could. Good luck, Scully." Al hung up the phone, and then paced a bit, thinking. "I've seen cases like this before, Sam, especially during the war. I think Chip was going to mess up tonight, mess up really bad and in front of his teammates. If we don't change things, Chip is never going to get over this failure, and that's what breaks up the team." He glanced over to see Chip sitting in a dark mood on the chair. He wasn't sure if the object of Chip's anger was Al or Chip himself. It appeared that Chip honestly wanted to change, although from bitter experience Al knew how hard this sort of thing was. After a moment he turned back to Sam.

"Did they say what they're doing now?" Sam asked.

"Scully's going to a St. Nerses Shnorhali church to talk to Dale. St. Nerses Shnorhali Church...why is that name familiar? Don't tell me, I'll get it....Oh, I know. Sam, didn't you leap into the bishop of that church a few months ago?"

Sam nodded grimly.

"Heh, I remember that leap because there was that one funny little bat that kept watching everything we did. You see, Chip, it could see me and it didn't like the way I kept swearing in the church, and...and...um, Sam, I'm in trouble right now, aren't I?"

Sam nodded again. Al quickly but quietly positioned himself so that Sam was between Foxglove and himself. "A psychic bat--who knew? I feel like I'm on probation this leap," he grumbled. "First the cigars and now I've got to watch my mouth!" He looked around then handed the phone to Chip. "Leave the phone on the chair and follow me." He then looked up at the ceiling. "Okay, Gooshie, we've landed, so you can turn off the homing program. Sam, let me know when the power's off and you're ready to go in." He then turned back around and walked slowly around what Chip concluded was the Ranger Plane. When he finished he let out a low whistle. "This has got to be the most incredible piece of aeronautical machinery I've ever seen! However would a mouse build such a thing out of nothing but household materials? Chip, did she go to some kind of rodent university?"

Chip was lifted out of his gloom by this praise of his teammate. "Nope," he answered. "She's one hundred-percent self-taught."

"Unbelievable!" Al then looked over his shoulder. "Uh-oh."

"What?" asked Chip.

"Sam tells me that the power to the factory was already turned off when we arrived."

"So this is a trap."

"Are you surprised?"

"No, not really. But we need to go down there anyway."

Al smiled. "That's what I thought you'd say. Gadget put a timer on the power supply to restore the lights in five minutes. That should be long enough to get us to Fat Cat's office."