The Knight and the Jester

Chapter Seven

A few minutes later, the Rescue Rangers made their way down the stairway of the Happy Tom Cat Food Factory towards the cat-sized casino. Their plan had gone smoothly so far: Guided by Gadget's infrared goggles and Foxglove's echolocation, they had proceeded into the building to find Fat Cat's office on the top floor abandoned. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Foxglove put her ear to the door. After a few seconds, she formed a huddle with the team.

"They're all down there, " she whispered, "but they're breathing too slowly."

Sam furrowed his brow. "You mean like they're expecting us?"

The bat shrugged. "Maybe."

"How close are they to the door?"

"I think they're at the opposite end of the casino."

Sam stood there, imagining how the room beyond the door would look and how they could turn the situation to their advantage. He kneeled down and peered through the tall crack under the door. "They have absolutely no light on in there, so..." he said.

"...that means that only Mole can see," finished Gadget. "At least until a little light is introduced, then both Fat Cat and Mepps will be able to see. Of course, at that point only Wart and Snout are left in the dark--although, if they're in on the trap, they aren't 'left in the dark', only left in the dark. Oh, that didn't sound very clear--you see..."

"A very interesting point of semantics, Gadget, but right now I'm trying to form a plan," said Sam.

"Even though right now you're in the dark," suggested Al.

Sam jumped at the voice. Since everyone was in complete darkness, he had forgotten all about Al. "Hmm, this would all go so much more smoothly if I knew what was going on out there..."

"Hmm? Oh yeah, Sam, I'll go scout around a bit." With that Al walked through the door. There were a few advantages to having your audio and video inputs hooked up to a parallel-processing supercomputer, and one of them was the ability to give yourself night vision. Al walked slowly through the casino, looking every once in a while at the com-link to check on Sam, Ziggy, the timer on the lights, and whatever else might drop out of a clear black sky.

Ten seconds later, Monterey Jack had run out of patience. In a barely-controlled whisper he murmured, "It's only Fat Cat, fellas! Why can't we just jump out there and thrash 'em?"

Sam and Foxglove simultaneously tried to provide a good excuse when Al walked back onto the platform scratching his head. "I saw two cats, one lizard, and one rat, all asleep. Mole must have gone back to The Wind in the Willows, I guess."

Sam made up his mind. After all, he already knew that Fat Cat was not going to be the real problem. "You're absolutely right, Monterey, the direct approach is best. At the count of one, go!"

With that, he burst through the door onto the casino floor alone. He ran straight ahead into the darkness, trusting Al to direct him.

"Okay Sam, hold your arms out at waist level, 'cause that's where the tables are. Turn left at the first one, which you'll hit right...now! That's it; now follow the table around to your right. Keep on going, Sam, you're half-way there already!"

"Chip!" cried Dale. "Wait for us!" He ran randomly into the room and immediately smacked into a baccarat table. Gadget donned her infrared goggles and followed the sounds of the groans. After that, Dale held on to the back of Gadget's jumpsuit and she ran after Chip, followed by Foxglove, who held Monterey Jack's hand firmly in hers. Zipper had the sense to find a seat on top of Gadget's goggles when the descent began, so of all the sightless, he was the least likely to get lost.

When he got halfway across the casino, Sam started to make out the sounds of Fat Cat and his gang sleeping. He slowed down, stopping when he was a few paces behind them. He could barely make out that they were in the fetal position, and noted that their snores were interrupted by the occasional whimper. "I don't get it, Al," he said. "Where's the trap?"

"There is no trap, not that I can see. You better be careful, though, because you only have a few more seconds before the lights go on. Hey, Sam, do you hear that?"

"That low-pitched humming sound? I didn't notice it before."

"Neither did I. I have a bad feeling about this. Sam, the lights are going to kick in--close your eyes."

Sam did as he was told, and therefore was the first to recover from the sudden change in illumination. The first thing he noticed was that the humming had stopped. Then he saw that the lighting in the room was turned down a great deal, making it hard to see any details. Most puzzling was the apparent fuzziness of the far wall, behind the still-sleeping Fat Cat gang. He followed the tan wall up, and up, and up. He stopped when he reached the face.

Al, leaning back, fell on his back in shock. "It's Mole!"

Indeed it was Mole, or at least it was a thing that once was Mole. Its form was tremendously bloated, and its head nearly touched the ceiling. Its eyes were two portals into a whole cosmos where light was forbidden, and its lips were curled into a sadistic snarl. Its attention was focused entirely on Sam. "Another visitor!" he bellowed in an impossibly deep voice. "Stay awhile, stay forever!"

Chip rushed to Al's side. "What about Mole?" At that moment the phone rang. Chip trotted over to the chair and retrieved it. "This is Chip," he said, after pressing the speaker button.

"Chip, this is Scully. The Rangers are about to be attacked by..."

"If you mean by the big giant Mole, we know," answered Al, taking the phone so Sam could hear the conversation.

"Mole's been possessed by the Great Thing from Beyond," volunteered Mulder. "The Thing feeds off of your life force."

"Well this leap has officially gone from bad to really, really ugly." remarked Al. "Any idea from the master of the macabre on how we stop this thing?"

Scully interrupted before Mulder could get in his response. "According to Dale, Zipper escaped and used the translator to call us. Mulder, you're the one with the photographic memory, do you remember anything like that happening? Because I don't."

"No, and you'd think facing off against the most evil thing on Earth would be somewhat memorable. As for Zipper calling us, we've gotten lots of anonymous tips over the years and I have no idea what Zipper would sound like with a human voice, so it could have been any one of the X-Files. Gimme a second, I'll try to see if I can remember anything useful."

Sam for one wished that Mulder would remember pretty quickly. The monster before him apparently possessed some kind of mind control power, because they were now surrounded by the illusion of a cramped cage too strong to be broken by disbelief. Luckily it had overlooked Zipper, who had already managed to escape. In reaction to their sudden imprisonment, Dale started looking wildly around in confusion, calming down when he saw Sam. Gadget had backed herself into the corner farthest from the Great Thing and was hyperventilating, while Monterey spent his time battering his frame against the bars again and again. Next to him was Foxglove, who clutched the bars and stared at their foe.

Looking around at his teammates, Sam decided that what was needed just then was some leadership. "It looks like it's time for the Rescue Rangers to show what they're made of! Anyone have any suggestions what we should do?" The Rangers looked at him from their scattered positions.

Dale started leaping up and down, waving his arms and crying, "I know what we should do! Pick me! Pick me!" He leapt so high, in fact, that he hit his head on the top of the cage and knocked himself out.

"Let me 'at him!" yelled Monterey Jack, referring to the demon.

"Golly," said Gadget flatly, "I would say I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought, but I think that line's been used already."

Foxglove waved her wings back towards Dale's prone body. "He knows what we should do! Pick him! Pick him!" she cried. Then she turned for the first time and saw that he was unconscious.

"So nobody has a good plan, then," summarized Al, who was standing next to the bat. In response, Foxglove swiped at his head with one of her wings, then knelt to see to Dale's injuries.

The admiral had dodged out of the way. "What's going on here? That's the second hologram today who's tried to bonk me on the head!"

Sam looked into the faces of his (conscious) comrades. "Well, I have a plan, if you'd like to hear it." When he had their attention, he continued in a voice hopefully pitched too low for the monster to hear. "The important thing is to keep this creature busy until help arrives. I'll try to distract it enough for it to lose concentration. Monty, as soon as the bars become transparent, get around to the stage. Foxglove, when Monty's in position I want you to grab the heaviest thing you can fly with and get above it. When I give the signal...."

Chip had been standing still, quietly listening, for a long time now as Al described what had been happening, but at this point he had to interrupt. "No, no, no! Tell Sam that he can't do that!"

"Why not?" asked Al. "It sounds like a perfectly-good plan to me."

"It is a perfectly-good plan. It's also exactly the plan I would have used if I was there instead of Sam, and we know very well that my plan will fail."

Al wrinkled his brow in frustration. "So we follow Monterey's plan and rush it?"

"No, we wait for Dale to revive and follow his plan."

"Are you ca-razy?" demanded Al.

Chip had no choice at this point but to bonk Al on the head.

The demonically possessed Mole, who had been looming over the Rangers the entire time, took this moment to break into their conversation. "Enough of this idle chatter! It's time for you to meet your doom!" He was wearing an enormous bib with the faces of the Rescue Rangers painted on it. A few of the Rangers wondered if he had borrowed it from Fat Cat. "Oh, your fears are all so delicious, I don't know where to start first! Shall it be the roly-poly strong-mouse? No, too easy. The claustrophobic inventor should last me for hours, so I'll save her for last. The cautious dreamer? No, she'd fall even faster than Mr. Cheese. The jester, oh there are so many ways I could get what I want from him. So, my knight in shining armor, I think you are next!"

Monty sprang at the bars of the cage. "You leave me pal Chipper alone! Take me instead!"

"All in good time, my dear. All in good time." The towering creature turned and cast its dark eyes upon Sam.

Sam decided that he now knew why he was here: to psychically die so Chip could live. He boldly strode forward to meet his fate.

The Great Thing From Beyond frowned at this display. "Oh, you're no fun anymore," he said. "Wake up, clown. Time to die."

"No!" cried Foxglove, cradling her love in her arms, "I won't allow this torture to go on any longer!"

The Great Thing grinned hideously, revealing a gaping maw as empty as his eyes. "Do you feel lucky, punk? Go ahead, make my day!"

The walls of the prison suddenly vanished. Enraged, Foxglove flew right at his face, but he swatted her aside. She hit the wall and slid slowly down.

"Go on, Foxglove, get up!" yelled Al. "Give him what's coming to him!"

Sam looked from the fallen bat to the monstrous mole. To his shock, he noticed that the demon was even bigger now than before. "No, Foxglove, wait! That's what it wants. The Great Thing from Beyond doesn't feed on life, it feeds on anger and fear!"

Dale, who was now awake, looked up in surprise. "You're the Great Thing from Beyond, the feaster of worlds, the sower of despair?"

The Great Thing puffed itself up in pride. "Look on, ye mighty," it said, "and despair!"

Dale started to giggle. Everyone looked at him in shock.

"Hey!" bellowed the Great Thing. "You stop that at once! You won't be laughing after I unleash your greatest fear against you!"

The giggles quickly built into gales of uncontrollable laughter. Dale tried his best to explain the joke between guffaws. "He's...he's...only three feet high!"

"Now I remember!" cried Mulder into his phone. "There was a prank call, about a giant monster that was going to conquer the world."

Scully laughed. "I remember that. We went all the way there in the car, only to find this ridiculous-looking dog on top of a factory. When we started laughing at it, it tried to attack us in a rather pathetic manner. I shot it, and it died."

"Only one shot?" asked Chip, incredulous.

"Only one. It was really pathetic."

Mulder sighed. "I guess it really did have a good press agent."

Foxglove was the next one to start laughing. "Destroyer of worlds, and you can't even destroy a bunch of small animals!"

"Hey!" complained the demon, which was now noticeably smaller. "That's not even funny, you know!"

The other Rangers took their cue from this, mocking and jeering the Great Thing until it had shrunk all the way to Mole's normal size, at which point his eyes cleared of darkness before he fell unconscious. The Great Thing had been forced out of his host body, defeated yet again.