Conflict of Self
Chapter 3-Break Free
After breakfast, Draco made his way up to Slytherin common room, satisfied that physical hunger
would not disturb him for at least another couple of hours. With that out of his mind, he could
continue steadily along the road towards resolving his personal issues. With it being a Saturday,
he didn't have much to occupy him as regarded lessons, so Draco was given a lot of time to
himself to think things over.
He was by now getting to feel a little more comfortable with the new ideas that had been
presented to him but was not altogether happy. After all, one can't be immediately expected to
adjust to the temperature of the new waters into which they have plunged can they? There were
still many questions circulating in Draco's mind, questions which he was intending on answering,
in full, sooner rather than later. He wanted to know why he was changing, what was causing it,
how he could control it.
As he set on his soft springy bed in the cold surroundings of the slytherin dorms, he let himself
once again converse with his hidden mentor. Oblivious to the intense bustle out in the common
room, the dungeons became a haven of thought.
-Feeling better now Draco?-
"A bit, as if you care"
Draco hadn't let down his charade. He was still so deeply in touch with the outside shell of hatred
and pomposity that not even meditation of his innermost thoughts appeared to be a suitable
situation in which to drop it.
-Let go Draco. Break free of the shell-
Draco knew full well that that was what he had to do. This made him angry. Legitimately angry,
but angry still. This was perhaps better than the faked anger he was previously experiencing, he
supposed.
-Draco, let go-
He winced. He knew he wanted to show emotion, but he still had his ego to maintain. He couldn't
possibly let himself out in front of all of…no one. There was no one there. He did it. Slowly the
smile crept across his face. He succumbed willingly to the urge to emote.
-Good. No ones here. It's ok-
Draco Malfoy had smiled. The cold-hearted slytherin had allowed his lips to be consumed by
feelings, positive feelings, happy feelings. The curved form of pink quickly recoiled as a non-
descript slytherin boy entered the dorm, leaving Draco in an unsafe situation. He was pretty sure
he hadn't been seen. He hoped he hadn't been seen. He hadn't been seen. Had he?
-No Draco. No. You should have. You should have broken yourself in. It's pointless having a
smile if you aren't going to let yourself use it you know-
Draco wholeheartedly agreed, but wasn't about to strike up conversation with the voice with
another person in the room. He wasn't exactly fond of the idea of being portrayed as a
schizophrenic by anyone, let alone a member of slytherin house.
-You're going to have to someday you know. You can't live a lie for ever-
Confident that he could whisper quietly enough to be heard he snapped back.
"I've as good as done that for my whole life, why should I stop now"
The smile was wiped away; the scowl took fresh control of its long-term victim. Draco was angry
with the voice, with himself. He didn't like the demands being put on him. He had, of course, had
demands on him for all of his life so far, but these demands where contrary and, by the standards
drilled into him by Lucius, wrong. Anything that went against his father was so infuriatingly…good.
-Break free-
The slytherin turned and faced Draco, about to leave the room. Draco let the smile run riot over
his face. He laughed as the boy turned in shock and made haste out of the dormitory.
-Break free Draco. Be free Draco-
A/N: A little short, sorry, I was just desperate to update. I'm sorry that it's taken this long but I've
been ill all week :( The reviews cheered me up though :) Thanks to those who have reviewed and
keep reviewing. Also please check out the other story that I'm currently working on (you can find it
in my profile)
Chapter 3-Break Free
After breakfast, Draco made his way up to Slytherin common room, satisfied that physical hunger
would not disturb him for at least another couple of hours. With that out of his mind, he could
continue steadily along the road towards resolving his personal issues. With it being a Saturday,
he didn't have much to occupy him as regarded lessons, so Draco was given a lot of time to
himself to think things over.
He was by now getting to feel a little more comfortable with the new ideas that had been
presented to him but was not altogether happy. After all, one can't be immediately expected to
adjust to the temperature of the new waters into which they have plunged can they? There were
still many questions circulating in Draco's mind, questions which he was intending on answering,
in full, sooner rather than later. He wanted to know why he was changing, what was causing it,
how he could control it.
As he set on his soft springy bed in the cold surroundings of the slytherin dorms, he let himself
once again converse with his hidden mentor. Oblivious to the intense bustle out in the common
room, the dungeons became a haven of thought.
-Feeling better now Draco?-
"A bit, as if you care"
Draco hadn't let down his charade. He was still so deeply in touch with the outside shell of hatred
and pomposity that not even meditation of his innermost thoughts appeared to be a suitable
situation in which to drop it.
-Let go Draco. Break free of the shell-
Draco knew full well that that was what he had to do. This made him angry. Legitimately angry,
but angry still. This was perhaps better than the faked anger he was previously experiencing, he
supposed.
-Draco, let go-
He winced. He knew he wanted to show emotion, but he still had his ego to maintain. He couldn't
possibly let himself out in front of all of…no one. There was no one there. He did it. Slowly the
smile crept across his face. He succumbed willingly to the urge to emote.
-Good. No ones here. It's ok-
Draco Malfoy had smiled. The cold-hearted slytherin had allowed his lips to be consumed by
feelings, positive feelings, happy feelings. The curved form of pink quickly recoiled as a non-
descript slytherin boy entered the dorm, leaving Draco in an unsafe situation. He was pretty sure
he hadn't been seen. He hoped he hadn't been seen. He hadn't been seen. Had he?
-No Draco. No. You should have. You should have broken yourself in. It's pointless having a
smile if you aren't going to let yourself use it you know-
Draco wholeheartedly agreed, but wasn't about to strike up conversation with the voice with
another person in the room. He wasn't exactly fond of the idea of being portrayed as a
schizophrenic by anyone, let alone a member of slytherin house.
-You're going to have to someday you know. You can't live a lie for ever-
Confident that he could whisper quietly enough to be heard he snapped back.
"I've as good as done that for my whole life, why should I stop now"
The smile was wiped away; the scowl took fresh control of its long-term victim. Draco was angry
with the voice, with himself. He didn't like the demands being put on him. He had, of course, had
demands on him for all of his life so far, but these demands where contrary and, by the standards
drilled into him by Lucius, wrong. Anything that went against his father was so infuriatingly…good.
-Break free-
The slytherin turned and faced Draco, about to leave the room. Draco let the smile run riot over
his face. He laughed as the boy turned in shock and made haste out of the dormitory.
-Break free Draco. Be free Draco-
A/N: A little short, sorry, I was just desperate to update. I'm sorry that it's taken this long but I've
been ill all week :( The reviews cheered me up though :) Thanks to those who have reviewed and
keep reviewing. Also please check out the other story that I'm currently working on (you can find it
in my profile)