Conflict of Self
Chapter 5-Decisions
Decisions, decisions, decisions. The voice was now too spookily like Lucius. Could it be? No,
impossible. Draco was sure that even Lucius would not be sadistic enough to perform a mental
strain of the imperius curse upon him. No. He wasn't even sure that such a curse existed, let
alone that his father new it, so he just let his mind rest yet again. His mind and the intruder.
-So you question my identity-
Draco refused to answer. He wasn't going to give into this, this voice, whoever it was. Not even if
it was of his own creation, he was not letting anything over-power him at this moment.
-Sit there if you want. I've got all day; it will be your time that I'm wasting. Oh, and if I remember
rightly, then you need that time to do your divination homework- the voice again using it's intense
blend of sarcasm and sadism. If only Draco could brew that in a potion. A powerful change of
personality. Snape had said in their first year that he could "bewitch the mind and ensnare the
senses" so Draco doubted that that would be far beyond his ability. Hold on. Prior Incantatum one
moment. Snape's ability? This was another powerful figure in Draco's life. He started to panic in a
very un-Slytherin manner. Had he been given anything in the previous potions lesson? Had
Snape grossly abused his power and given proof of concept for the ensnaring of senses? Snap
out of it Draco. Your head of house wouldn't do that. Or would he? Draco was trying to convince
himself of something, but his attempts were feeble and his control was slipping away. Draco
slipped away into a sense of dreamy contemplation.
Why couldn't everything be bliss? Why, for one moment couldn't he be Harry Potter?
-----
"It is time Master"
"Excellent Wormtail. If we act quickly enough, then the boy will not have knowledge of
what is to come until after it has hit him. Until after it is too late" The voice had an uncanny hissing
to it. This was the voice of a parselmouth
-----
The boy raised his hand to his forehead. The whole of his common room turned to look. It was
known that when this certain boy had pains around his scarred head that a certain very powerful
dark wizard was either near or feeling in a particularly evil mood. Draco didn't know this. This
wasn't an answer as to why Draco couldn't be Harry Potter. This was an answer as to why he
should never in his life have held any desire to be Harry Potter.
-----
-Pull yourself together Draco. What on earth were you thinking? Lucius and Snape collaborative
plots? You want to be Potter? Why you even…-
"Shut Up!" In a scene reminiscent of his first dealings with the voice, Draco prompted the
entire student-body of Slytherin house to turn and stare. Of course, this wasn't just a look up and
get back to what you were doing job. This was major. Remember now, Draco was in the Dorm.
Slytherin were in the dungeon common room. As they forced their collective way into the room,
he could hear various confused voices.
"Mental, absolutely mental"
"Always thought it of him to be honest"
"Not going to survive another day if you ask me"
"Shut Up!!!" The commanding voice of Draco Malfoy broke away any question of him going soft.
This was still the honorary head of the Slytherin dungeons. This was still the master. There was
still the scowl.
He had failed. Falling back onto his bed, red with embarrassment, he started to cry. First one
tear, slowly rolling down his cheek. Then another, and another. Finally the floodgates were
opened and Draco's face played host to a water park of emotion. He had lost it. Draco Malfoy had
lost it in front of his entire peer group.
He let out one last scream, which sent the remaining stragglers packing through the doors. He
slowly pulled the comforting blankets around his cold, shamed body, fully aware of the starched
robes still gripping onto his torso. It was done. He had regressed. Fat chance he had of finding
himself now. He didn't even now know who his mentor was. Draco was lost, and it would be one
epic journey to find him again.
A/N: And I procrastinate yet more. This is going to be one epic by the time its finished. Thanks
again for the reviews and again I blatantly plug my poetry. Oh, and I insert all disclaimer stuff
*here* because it messes up my word count and gives me a false measure of how much I've
written if I lob a load of legal garbage at the top. Plus, can you tell me If it would be a good idea to
do an angsty journal from Justin Finch-Fletchley's POV. Just I don't know if I'm updating quick
enough and if I'm not then I don't want to have three stories on the go.
§Draconis§
Chapter 5-Decisions
Decisions, decisions, decisions. The voice was now too spookily like Lucius. Could it be? No,
impossible. Draco was sure that even Lucius would not be sadistic enough to perform a mental
strain of the imperius curse upon him. No. He wasn't even sure that such a curse existed, let
alone that his father new it, so he just let his mind rest yet again. His mind and the intruder.
-So you question my identity-
Draco refused to answer. He wasn't going to give into this, this voice, whoever it was. Not even if
it was of his own creation, he was not letting anything over-power him at this moment.
-Sit there if you want. I've got all day; it will be your time that I'm wasting. Oh, and if I remember
rightly, then you need that time to do your divination homework- the voice again using it's intense
blend of sarcasm and sadism. If only Draco could brew that in a potion. A powerful change of
personality. Snape had said in their first year that he could "bewitch the mind and ensnare the
senses" so Draco doubted that that would be far beyond his ability. Hold on. Prior Incantatum one
moment. Snape's ability? This was another powerful figure in Draco's life. He started to panic in a
very un-Slytherin manner. Had he been given anything in the previous potions lesson? Had
Snape grossly abused his power and given proof of concept for the ensnaring of senses? Snap
out of it Draco. Your head of house wouldn't do that. Or would he? Draco was trying to convince
himself of something, but his attempts were feeble and his control was slipping away. Draco
slipped away into a sense of dreamy contemplation.
Why couldn't everything be bliss? Why, for one moment couldn't he be Harry Potter?
-----
"It is time Master"
"Excellent Wormtail. If we act quickly enough, then the boy will not have knowledge of
what is to come until after it has hit him. Until after it is too late" The voice had an uncanny hissing
to it. This was the voice of a parselmouth
-----
The boy raised his hand to his forehead. The whole of his common room turned to look. It was
known that when this certain boy had pains around his scarred head that a certain very powerful
dark wizard was either near or feeling in a particularly evil mood. Draco didn't know this. This
wasn't an answer as to why Draco couldn't be Harry Potter. This was an answer as to why he
should never in his life have held any desire to be Harry Potter.
-----
-Pull yourself together Draco. What on earth were you thinking? Lucius and Snape collaborative
plots? You want to be Potter? Why you even…-
"Shut Up!" In a scene reminiscent of his first dealings with the voice, Draco prompted the
entire student-body of Slytherin house to turn and stare. Of course, this wasn't just a look up and
get back to what you were doing job. This was major. Remember now, Draco was in the Dorm.
Slytherin were in the dungeon common room. As they forced their collective way into the room,
he could hear various confused voices.
"Mental, absolutely mental"
"Always thought it of him to be honest"
"Not going to survive another day if you ask me"
"Shut Up!!!" The commanding voice of Draco Malfoy broke away any question of him going soft.
This was still the honorary head of the Slytherin dungeons. This was still the master. There was
still the scowl.
He had failed. Falling back onto his bed, red with embarrassment, he started to cry. First one
tear, slowly rolling down his cheek. Then another, and another. Finally the floodgates were
opened and Draco's face played host to a water park of emotion. He had lost it. Draco Malfoy had
lost it in front of his entire peer group.
He let out one last scream, which sent the remaining stragglers packing through the doors. He
slowly pulled the comforting blankets around his cold, shamed body, fully aware of the starched
robes still gripping onto his torso. It was done. He had regressed. Fat chance he had of finding
himself now. He didn't even now know who his mentor was. Draco was lost, and it would be one
epic journey to find him again.
A/N: And I procrastinate yet more. This is going to be one epic by the time its finished. Thanks
again for the reviews and again I blatantly plug my poetry. Oh, and I insert all disclaimer stuff
*here* because it messes up my word count and gives me a false measure of how much I've
written if I lob a load of legal garbage at the top. Plus, can you tell me If it would be a good idea to
do an angsty journal from Justin Finch-Fletchley's POV. Just I don't know if I'm updating quick
enough and if I'm not then I don't want to have three stories on the go.
§Draconis§