Prologue: The loss

SERIES: Glimpses

STORY: #1 (Attention: stories are not in time order!)

AUTHOR: Sarah A. David

E-MAIL: SarahADavid@aol.com

DISCLAIMER: „Buffy the Vampire Slayer", „Angel" and associated characters

are copyright by Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy Inc.,

Greenwolf Corp., Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Television, Twentieth Century Fox, WB and UPN. No infringement is intended.

TIMELINE: After BTVS S5 and AtS S2

SPOILERS: Everything up to BTVS S5 and AtS S2 happened

SYNOPSIS: My sight of the future

DISTRIBUTION: not yet sure, never posted anything before - you want it, ask me.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I want you to know that English is NOT my mother language, so

please ignore my mistakes.

FEEDBACK: Yes please. I just have to know if you liked and if you want more

stories

RATING: I'm not so sure about the rating system but I guess that

everyone who watches the shows can read this fic

Year 2001

L.A.

Angel's POV

Last night I drove Willow home to Sunnydale.

I had to go to the cemetery, had to see the gravestone. I read the letters:

BUFFY ANNE SUMMER

1981 - 2001

BELOVED SISTER

DEVOTED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD

A LOT

And so I finally hat to believe it: Buffy was gone - dead. She would never have the bright future I wanted her to have - the future I left her for.

And there would certainly never be a happy ending for the both of us. All the hopes I dared to have since Wesley first told me about my Shanshu were for nothing. Becoming human again one day no longer seemed like redemption to me. The dreams I had revolved around a family: Buffy - my wife -, me and maybe even some children, happy and beautiful just like their mother. All I can see now is me - alone and surrounded by darkness. I guess a demon deserves nothing more. This is the prize I have to pay for my past.

Coming back to L.A. I realized that there are only two possibilities for me:

The first one:

Watching the sun rise for the first time in nearly 250 years. But hat would be the easy way and a betrayal to her memory. I can clearly remember a certain Christmas morning which now seemed so far away as if it happened in another life. I can still hear her lovely and desperate voice: "Strong is fighting and it's every day.!"

So that leaves only the second option for me:

I will go on fighting. I will continue to save souls. And when the new Slayer arrives I will be her protector like I will be for those who follow her. But this time I will stay in the shadows where I belong. I will do everything to fight against the darkness and every evil that lurks within. And when the End of Days finally arrive I will fight my last battle and I will assure that we will win that humanity will survive. Because that is what she fought for, what she lived for - and died for.

And when I receive my redemption, when I Shanshu I will make the best out of it. I will live my life - for her.

But in order to do so I will have to take every memory of every precious moment with Buffy and put them into a box in the depths of my mind and heart. I will have to build thick walls surround it so that I can never find them again - until the day my soul leaves this plane to find hers.

Otherwise I will die of grief. For I lost the girl I first fell in love with, the woman that meant everything to me...Buffy Summers - my soul mate.

The End