Chapter 7: Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry shivered as cold ran through him. The bog was wet, but the wind that whipped through the marsh chilled him even more. The moonlight reflected off of the water, and the stars shone brightly. In the distance, Harry could see the cave.
"Are you sure this is the one, Sirius?"
"Never been more sure of anything else in my life."
Harry sighed heavily as he sat himself down the only dry square foot in the marsh. It had been about a month since he had left Hermione's flat. He had apparated to Sirius' cottage and announced it was time to go. It took Sirius a little while to get over the shock of Harry's sudden appearance, but after that, Sirius had been keen on starting right away.
"Harry, there's still time. We can call the rest of the Order."
"Bugger on that Sirius. We call the rest of the Order and Hermione and Ron show up. Not a fucking chance." Harry looked up at his Godfather. "That's why were doing this. To keep them safe. He has no idea where I am, or what I'm planning. Hell, I don't even have a good grasp on what I'm going to do."
*~*~*
It was hauntingly cold in Hermione's flat. Even though all the windows had been locked tight, and the doors bolted shut, an eerie wind seemed to be travelling through the small apartment. Ginny wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. She had taken to occupying Harry's old bed in Hermione's flat since he had left. The bed had smelled of him. It reminded her of being in his arms.
They had continued to live their lives as normally as possible, sinking into a melancholy routine of waking, going to work or school, coming home, eating, and spending deathly quiet nights seated on the couches. After a few hours, one of them would get up, or Ron would leave to go back home, and every one would go to bed. They hardly slept. No one had heard anything from Harry yet. Not even the Ministry knew where Harry had gotten on to.
One thing that comforted them, though, was the simultaneous disappearance of Sirius. He must have either gone with him, or after him. Remus knew nothing of the whereabouts of his friend's son or his school friend. He had also taken to frequenting the flat to share their quiet time on the couch before returning home to his own fitful sleep.
They clung to the thoughts of no news being good news.
Ginny tried to remain hopeful, but she had been enveloped in a sadness that seemed tangible. It hung about her like mist on a mountain, lifting for a spell, but returning just as quickly. She spent many nights alone in Harry's room, flipping through the old photo album, hoping Lily and James Potter's smiles could lift her spirits, but even their faces seemed downtrodden. There was nothing to do but cling to their hope.
*~*~*
"You okay, Harry?"
"I guess. Okay as one can be." He shot Sirius a shaky smile as he fitted his wand into his sleeve. "The only thing we can do hope. It's almost over Sirius."
"I guess you could say that." Sirius stared up at the sky solemnly. The only sound that could be heard was that crackling of the fire.
"Do you think we should owl the others? I'm sure they're worried." Harry shuffled his feet closer to the fire.
"Probably. You haven't written to them yet?"
Harry shook his head. "I couldn't give away where we were. Knowing her and the others, they'd come running after me if they had any inkling of where I was."
"You've got a good set of friends." Sirius' voice was in monotone as he said this.
"I know this is touchy with you, Sirius, but if my father was alive, he'd follow you. He told me."
Sirius looked at Harry and chuckled. "They talk to you too?"
Harry nodded. "Like that day at the Burrow. In my head, they always bicker."
Sirius laughed out loud. "That sounds like them."
Silence past between them.
"You remind me a lot of your father."
"Thanks."
More silence. Then at the same time:
"So Harry, about Ginny - -"
"Sirius, I need to tell you about Ginny - -"
They both chuckled.
"Go ahead."
Harry inhaled deeply. "I don't know if you noticed, but we're together."
"I kind of figured that. You're being careful right?"
"In case she gets mysteriously pregnant from me kissing her? Can't say that I've thought of that."
"Smart ass."
"Worry wart."
"Brat."
"Over protective wanker."
A chuckling silence past between them.
"You love her?"
"Yeah, I think I do."
*~*~*
A rustle of feathers pulled Hermione from her studying. An owl perched next to her window and stared expectantly at her. She opened the window and took the note from its leg, tipping it a couple Knuts before it flew away. She opened the letter gingerly, so as not to rip it. It looked as if it had been to Hell and back before she had received it. Her eyes widened as she read the writing inside.
"Holy Cricket! Ginny!"
Harry bedroom door squeaked open and Ginny's head peered out from it.
"What, Hermione?"
"Get your arse down here. It's a note from Harry!"
Ginny came stampeding down the stairs. She ripped the parchment from Hermione's hand. Harry's untidy scrawl donned the paper, looking as if Harry had written the note in a great hurry.
*~*
Hi guys,
I just wanted to write you all a note to let you know I'm okay. Nothing bad has happened since we left. All is clear for the time being.
Sirius is with me and we've been moving since we left and we're just about there. Everything seems to be working just like we wanted it to. Hopefully we'll be able to say the same thing when we're done.
Please don't worry about me. I'm doing fine. Don't try to come after me; I couldn't bear it if something happened to any of you.
Ron, keep everyone's chin up for me. Hermione, do well in school and watch Ginny for me. Ginny, keep smiling and writing. I love you all.
Hope to hear from you soon. This owl knows where to find me.
Harry
*~*
"I don't believe it!"
"Me neither."
"He's okay."
"It looks that way, doesn't it?"
Both girls stood in silence rereading the letter.
"Should we go get Ron?"
"Yeah."
"Where is he?"
"Probably out with Seamus and Dean, reciting the 12 lesser-known verses of "If I Were a Tiny Chimney Sweep". Piss drunk. Again."
"My brother is a pack of adventures."
"You have no idea." Hermione rolled her eyes as the two women put on their cloaks and started for the door.
*~*~*~*
The ruckus from the pub was deafening. Ginny pushed her way through the door with Hermione on her heels. Their eyes scanned the gathered crowd, who were singing a loud Quidditch song.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Beater, sir!"
"Why, sir?"
"Cause I'd swipe balls, and you'd swipe balls-"
"We'd all swipe balls together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night swiping balls together!"
Hermione and Ginny's heads had turned to the leader of the song, who was none other than Ron, drunk off his gourd, and standing on a table.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Goalpost, sir!"
"Why, sir?"
"Cause I'd stand erect, and you'd stand erect-"
"We'd all stand erect together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night standing erect together."
Ginny inched her way towards Ron's table. Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas were sitting and looking amusedly at their drunken friend.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Bludger, sir!" Seamus yelled.
"Why, sir?" Ron answered
"Cause I'd get beat off, and you'd get beat off-"
The rest of the pub joined in. "We'd all get beat off together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night getting beat off together!"
Seamus and Dean waved to Ginny as she walked towards them and she returned the wave with a tight smile.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Sister, sir!"
"Ginny!" Ron slipped and fell onto the table, his beer cascading onto his jumper. The pub erupted into laughter and turned back to their drinks. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
"We got an owl." Ron just stared at her. "From Harry."
Ron clambered from the table and righted himself. He put an arm around his little sister for balance and started to the door, waving slightly to Seamus and Dean. Ron had taken to frequenting the pub with them since Harry had left, deciding to drown his sorrow in ale instead of sulking with the girls and Remus.
Hermione squared herself on Ron's other side, shaking her head disapprovingly at her boyfriend.
"You're not just saying this to get me out of the pub are you?"
"Ron, would we joke about something like this?" Ginny gave him a hard look.
"No."
The three staggered to Hermione's flat, slowly, but in better spirits than they had been that morning.
*~*~*~*
Harry rolled slightly on the ground, a rock digging into his back. He curled himself into a tighter ball as he tried desperately to block the wind from chilling him. Being at the altitude he was at, the cold raked his body, and sometimes, whirling snow would settle on his nose. It had been a little over a week since he has sent the owl to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, and he had not heard back from them. Either they had decided to not write back, or worse, decided to try and follow him.
Sirius was sitting near him, watching the horizon, and scanning for any sign of movement. They had been trapped on the mountain for the past three days, the Dark Lord's minions scurrying back and forth across the open marsh they had just left. They had been lucky to escape when they did, only a few hours before Voldemort himself had returned to the cave. The marsh seemed devoid of any magic, the deatheaters seemingly absorbing it as they walked through. The marsh was a desolation, no trees, and very little dry grass to sit on. In some ways, the mountain was a welcome change from their weeks on the marsh. The two could never get used to the cold though.
"Anything, Sirius?"
"Nothing, kid. There hasn't been a thing for a few hours now. Today may be the day to move this thing along." Sirius turned his head towards Harry, who now sat, arms around his legs, shivering like Dennis Creevy after he had fallen in the lake. Sirius removed his cloak.
"Here. Take this." Harry stubbornly shook his head as Sirius tried to force the cloak on him. "Harry, you'll be no good to the world if you're sick when you face Him!"
Harry attempted to resist for a few more seconds, then gave in, taking the cloak and wrapping it around his shoulders. He managed a small smile. "Thanks."
"Just doing my job."
Sirius looked towards the gray sky, mumbling under his breath. He had been doing this for the past couple days, Harry watching in awe as Sirius seemed to have silent conversations with Harry's dead parents. It was a touch unnerving to Harry, but as long as Sirius was here with him, he felt safe some how.
"Let's do this."
Harry nodded and coiled the rope at his feet. He expertly began to tie it off on the rock ledge as Sirius packed away the remaining pieces of their makeshift camp. The rope dropped silently to the ground and Harry gave his godfather one last look before disappearing over the edge, Sirius following him slowly. It was time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Oh MY! That took way too long to finish. I have come to a conclusion that I am definitely not an action writer and thus am avoiding this confrontation all together. I need a muse I guess. BUT, the title of this chapter belongs to Smashing Pumpkins, and the Quidditch song I got from another fic I was reading called Come Together. There is a song called "If I were the Marrying Kind", and it's a Rugby song that is along the same lines as this one. I did a little research last night. So it may be awhile before the next chapter, but sit tight, it's coming.
And to my worried reviewer, Harry's not lost at all. He was just misplaced! (YAY!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry shivered as cold ran through him. The bog was wet, but the wind that whipped through the marsh chilled him even more. The moonlight reflected off of the water, and the stars shone brightly. In the distance, Harry could see the cave.
"Are you sure this is the one, Sirius?"
"Never been more sure of anything else in my life."
Harry sighed heavily as he sat himself down the only dry square foot in the marsh. It had been about a month since he had left Hermione's flat. He had apparated to Sirius' cottage and announced it was time to go. It took Sirius a little while to get over the shock of Harry's sudden appearance, but after that, Sirius had been keen on starting right away.
"Harry, there's still time. We can call the rest of the Order."
"Bugger on that Sirius. We call the rest of the Order and Hermione and Ron show up. Not a fucking chance." Harry looked up at his Godfather. "That's why were doing this. To keep them safe. He has no idea where I am, or what I'm planning. Hell, I don't even have a good grasp on what I'm going to do."
*~*~*
It was hauntingly cold in Hermione's flat. Even though all the windows had been locked tight, and the doors bolted shut, an eerie wind seemed to be travelling through the small apartment. Ginny wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. She had taken to occupying Harry's old bed in Hermione's flat since he had left. The bed had smelled of him. It reminded her of being in his arms.
They had continued to live their lives as normally as possible, sinking into a melancholy routine of waking, going to work or school, coming home, eating, and spending deathly quiet nights seated on the couches. After a few hours, one of them would get up, or Ron would leave to go back home, and every one would go to bed. They hardly slept. No one had heard anything from Harry yet. Not even the Ministry knew where Harry had gotten on to.
One thing that comforted them, though, was the simultaneous disappearance of Sirius. He must have either gone with him, or after him. Remus knew nothing of the whereabouts of his friend's son or his school friend. He had also taken to frequenting the flat to share their quiet time on the couch before returning home to his own fitful sleep.
They clung to the thoughts of no news being good news.
Ginny tried to remain hopeful, but she had been enveloped in a sadness that seemed tangible. It hung about her like mist on a mountain, lifting for a spell, but returning just as quickly. She spent many nights alone in Harry's room, flipping through the old photo album, hoping Lily and James Potter's smiles could lift her spirits, but even their faces seemed downtrodden. There was nothing to do but cling to their hope.
*~*~*
"You okay, Harry?"
"I guess. Okay as one can be." He shot Sirius a shaky smile as he fitted his wand into his sleeve. "The only thing we can do hope. It's almost over Sirius."
"I guess you could say that." Sirius stared up at the sky solemnly. The only sound that could be heard was that crackling of the fire.
"Do you think we should owl the others? I'm sure they're worried." Harry shuffled his feet closer to the fire.
"Probably. You haven't written to them yet?"
Harry shook his head. "I couldn't give away where we were. Knowing her and the others, they'd come running after me if they had any inkling of where I was."
"You've got a good set of friends." Sirius' voice was in monotone as he said this.
"I know this is touchy with you, Sirius, but if my father was alive, he'd follow you. He told me."
Sirius looked at Harry and chuckled. "They talk to you too?"
Harry nodded. "Like that day at the Burrow. In my head, they always bicker."
Sirius laughed out loud. "That sounds like them."
Silence past between them.
"You remind me a lot of your father."
"Thanks."
More silence. Then at the same time:
"So Harry, about Ginny - -"
"Sirius, I need to tell you about Ginny - -"
They both chuckled.
"Go ahead."
Harry inhaled deeply. "I don't know if you noticed, but we're together."
"I kind of figured that. You're being careful right?"
"In case she gets mysteriously pregnant from me kissing her? Can't say that I've thought of that."
"Smart ass."
"Worry wart."
"Brat."
"Over protective wanker."
A chuckling silence past between them.
"You love her?"
"Yeah, I think I do."
*~*~*
A rustle of feathers pulled Hermione from her studying. An owl perched next to her window and stared expectantly at her. She opened the window and took the note from its leg, tipping it a couple Knuts before it flew away. She opened the letter gingerly, so as not to rip it. It looked as if it had been to Hell and back before she had received it. Her eyes widened as she read the writing inside.
"Holy Cricket! Ginny!"
Harry bedroom door squeaked open and Ginny's head peered out from it.
"What, Hermione?"
"Get your arse down here. It's a note from Harry!"
Ginny came stampeding down the stairs. She ripped the parchment from Hermione's hand. Harry's untidy scrawl donned the paper, looking as if Harry had written the note in a great hurry.
*~*
Hi guys,
I just wanted to write you all a note to let you know I'm okay. Nothing bad has happened since we left. All is clear for the time being.
Sirius is with me and we've been moving since we left and we're just about there. Everything seems to be working just like we wanted it to. Hopefully we'll be able to say the same thing when we're done.
Please don't worry about me. I'm doing fine. Don't try to come after me; I couldn't bear it if something happened to any of you.
Ron, keep everyone's chin up for me. Hermione, do well in school and watch Ginny for me. Ginny, keep smiling and writing. I love you all.
Hope to hear from you soon. This owl knows where to find me.
Harry
*~*
"I don't believe it!"
"Me neither."
"He's okay."
"It looks that way, doesn't it?"
Both girls stood in silence rereading the letter.
"Should we go get Ron?"
"Yeah."
"Where is he?"
"Probably out with Seamus and Dean, reciting the 12 lesser-known verses of "If I Were a Tiny Chimney Sweep". Piss drunk. Again."
"My brother is a pack of adventures."
"You have no idea." Hermione rolled her eyes as the two women put on their cloaks and started for the door.
*~*~*~*
The ruckus from the pub was deafening. Ginny pushed her way through the door with Hermione on her heels. Their eyes scanned the gathered crowd, who were singing a loud Quidditch song.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Beater, sir!"
"Why, sir?"
"Cause I'd swipe balls, and you'd swipe balls-"
"We'd all swipe balls together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night swiping balls together!"
Hermione and Ginny's heads had turned to the leader of the song, who was none other than Ron, drunk off his gourd, and standing on a table.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Goalpost, sir!"
"Why, sir?"
"Cause I'd stand erect, and you'd stand erect-"
"We'd all stand erect together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night standing erect together."
Ginny inched her way towards Ron's table. Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas were sitting and looking amusedly at their drunken friend.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Bludger, sir!" Seamus yelled.
"Why, sir?" Ron answered
"Cause I'd get beat off, and you'd get beat off-"
The rest of the pub joined in. "We'd all get beat off together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night getting beat off together!"
Seamus and Dean waved to Ginny as she walked towards them and she returned the wave with a tight smile.
"If I were the marrying kind, but thank the Lord I'm not, sir. The Quidditch player that I would marry would be a Quidditch-"
"Sister, sir!"
"Ginny!" Ron slipped and fell onto the table, his beer cascading onto his jumper. The pub erupted into laughter and turned back to their drinks. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
"We got an owl." Ron just stared at her. "From Harry."
Ron clambered from the table and righted himself. He put an arm around his little sister for balance and started to the door, waving slightly to Seamus and Dean. Ron had taken to frequenting the pub with them since Harry had left, deciding to drown his sorrow in ale instead of sulking with the girls and Remus.
Hermione squared herself on Ron's other side, shaking her head disapprovingly at her boyfriend.
"You're not just saying this to get me out of the pub are you?"
"Ron, would we joke about something like this?" Ginny gave him a hard look.
"No."
The three staggered to Hermione's flat, slowly, but in better spirits than they had been that morning.
*~*~*~*
Harry rolled slightly on the ground, a rock digging into his back. He curled himself into a tighter ball as he tried desperately to block the wind from chilling him. Being at the altitude he was at, the cold raked his body, and sometimes, whirling snow would settle on his nose. It had been a little over a week since he has sent the owl to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, and he had not heard back from them. Either they had decided to not write back, or worse, decided to try and follow him.
Sirius was sitting near him, watching the horizon, and scanning for any sign of movement. They had been trapped on the mountain for the past three days, the Dark Lord's minions scurrying back and forth across the open marsh they had just left. They had been lucky to escape when they did, only a few hours before Voldemort himself had returned to the cave. The marsh seemed devoid of any magic, the deatheaters seemingly absorbing it as they walked through. The marsh was a desolation, no trees, and very little dry grass to sit on. In some ways, the mountain was a welcome change from their weeks on the marsh. The two could never get used to the cold though.
"Anything, Sirius?"
"Nothing, kid. There hasn't been a thing for a few hours now. Today may be the day to move this thing along." Sirius turned his head towards Harry, who now sat, arms around his legs, shivering like Dennis Creevy after he had fallen in the lake. Sirius removed his cloak.
"Here. Take this." Harry stubbornly shook his head as Sirius tried to force the cloak on him. "Harry, you'll be no good to the world if you're sick when you face Him!"
Harry attempted to resist for a few more seconds, then gave in, taking the cloak and wrapping it around his shoulders. He managed a small smile. "Thanks."
"Just doing my job."
Sirius looked towards the gray sky, mumbling under his breath. He had been doing this for the past couple days, Harry watching in awe as Sirius seemed to have silent conversations with Harry's dead parents. It was a touch unnerving to Harry, but as long as Sirius was here with him, he felt safe some how.
"Let's do this."
Harry nodded and coiled the rope at his feet. He expertly began to tie it off on the rock ledge as Sirius packed away the remaining pieces of their makeshift camp. The rope dropped silently to the ground and Harry gave his godfather one last look before disappearing over the edge, Sirius following him slowly. It was time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Oh MY! That took way too long to finish. I have come to a conclusion that I am definitely not an action writer and thus am avoiding this confrontation all together. I need a muse I guess. BUT, the title of this chapter belongs to Smashing Pumpkins, and the Quidditch song I got from another fic I was reading called Come Together. There is a song called "If I were the Marrying Kind", and it's a Rugby song that is along the same lines as this one. I did a little research last night. So it may be awhile before the next chapter, but sit tight, it's coming.
And to my worried reviewer, Harry's not lost at all. He was just misplaced! (YAY!)