Rated X2:
Secret Diaries
WOLVERINE a.k.a. Logan
Day 1
I'm back wearing this tight anti-bacteria leather outfit. Hmmmm...looks like we're about to dive in Beijing.
Need to wash my hands 20x a day.
Day 2
I think Jean's hair looks like dried pine needles.
No welcome home kiss.
(Aight, she read my mind.)
Day 3
I threatened to stab myself and die. Yeah, for one minute.
Still Dr Grey wouldn't buy it. Dang.
Day 4
I recently got demoted for mentally harrassing Jean. Professor X appointed me as the mansion's official nanny to a dozen of unruly mutants.
Why does it always have to be meee???
Day 7
Done with the laundry. Have to oil my claws before they get rusty.
Day 8
I'm bored, bub.
Day 10
Professor took Cyclops with him to the White House and will be gone for...a week???
But Storm is taking Jean to Boston to track a devil-faced mutant who they overheard recited Psalm 23 without miss.
My lovelife is a complete bummer.
Exorcise me.
Day 13
Still under house-arrest.
Day 14
Woh, Bobby bought Rogue a pair of new boxing gloves? Poor kid, if he could only see Rogue's future belongs to one named Gambit.
Day 16
Mansion was under attack. They don't have to do this to get my autograph!
Day 17
Some bullet got stuck in my forehead like an overdue acne. Let's drink beer to that. Cheers!
Day 21
Magneto's helmet must have been stolen from Anakin's wardrobe. Just had it repainted. And remodelled. I wonder where he hid the gas mask. This place stinks with Magneto who hasn't bathed yet since day one out of plastic prison.
Day 23
We had an emergency landing in Alkali Lake.
Caught Mystique staring at me. A dozen times an hour at least. But I don't like someone in alligator skin.
Day 24
Someone stole my skin whitening lotion. And...drat, even took my Coppertone too.
Hmmm...
Day 25
I promised Mystique to loan her a new outfit. Magneto is a harsh employer.
Day 26
William Striker called me an animal. At least, I was never a pig in my past life.
Day 27
Got at least 50 stab wounds from Deathstrike. Not to mention numerous scratches that almost erased my face.
Striker didn't teach that Jap doll proper hygiene. She should be clipping her nails regularly.
Man, I need 2 anti-tetanus shots. I'm hemorrhaging!
***
Cut through 20 soldiers barring the entry point to Cerebro 2 from neck to navel. Gawd, why do I always get this share of bloody work?
***
Blackbird runs out of gas. I think Pyro used some to build bonfires the other night.
Professor's mad.
Where's that scum?
***
Jean decided to do a thousand mile freestyle without me. Neither Scott.
Losers.
Day 30
Professor X decided to surprise the President in his office. Advance birthday party. Nightcrawler plays the clown.
WOLVERINE a.k.a. Logan
Day 1
I'm back wearing this tight anti-bacteria leather outfit. Hmmmm...looks like we're about to dive in Beijing.
Need to wash my hands 20x a day.
Day 2
I think Jean's hair looks like dried pine needles.
No welcome home kiss.
(Aight, she read my mind.)
Day 3
I threatened to stab myself and die. Yeah, for one minute.
Still Dr Grey wouldn't buy it. Dang.
Day 4
I recently got demoted for mentally harrassing Jean. Professor X appointed me as the mansion's official nanny to a dozen of unruly mutants.
Why does it always have to be meee???
Day 7
Done with the laundry. Have to oil my claws before they get rusty.
Day 8
I'm bored, bub.
Day 10
Professor took Cyclops with him to the White House and will be gone for...a week???
But Storm is taking Jean to Boston to track a devil-faced mutant who they overheard recited Psalm 23 without miss.
My lovelife is a complete bummer.
Exorcise me.
Day 13
Still under house-arrest.
Day 14
Woh, Bobby bought Rogue a pair of new boxing gloves? Poor kid, if he could only see Rogue's future belongs to one named Gambit.
Day 16
Mansion was under attack. They don't have to do this to get my autograph!
Day 17
Some bullet got stuck in my forehead like an overdue acne. Let's drink beer to that. Cheers!
Day 21
Magneto's helmet must have been stolen from Anakin's wardrobe. Just had it repainted. And remodelled. I wonder where he hid the gas mask. This place stinks with Magneto who hasn't bathed yet since day one out of plastic prison.
Day 23
We had an emergency landing in Alkali Lake.
Caught Mystique staring at me. A dozen times an hour at least. But I don't like someone in alligator skin.
Day 24
Someone stole my skin whitening lotion. And...drat, even took my Coppertone too.
Hmmm...
Day 25
I promised Mystique to loan her a new outfit. Magneto is a harsh employer.
Day 26
William Striker called me an animal. At least, I was never a pig in my past life.
Day 27
Got at least 50 stab wounds from Deathstrike. Not to mention numerous scratches that almost erased my face.
Striker didn't teach that Jap doll proper hygiene. She should be clipping her nails regularly.
Man, I need 2 anti-tetanus shots. I'm hemorrhaging!
***
Cut through 20 soldiers barring the entry point to Cerebro 2 from neck to navel. Gawd, why do I always get this share of bloody work?
***
Blackbird runs out of gas. I think Pyro used some to build bonfires the other night.
Professor's mad.
Where's that scum?
***
Jean decided to do a thousand mile freestyle without me. Neither Scott.
Losers.
Day 30
Professor X decided to surprise the President in his office. Advance birthday party. Nightcrawler plays the clown.