If I Could Turn Back Time…
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Gilmore Girls.
Chapter 1
A/N: Hey, everybody!! I'm back…with a darker, AU fic this time! I was inspired by a story by Smile – Shattered (It's a great story if you haven't read it) to write something other than a fluffy fic. Don't worry – this will remain Lit…but it will be darker, and just to warn you, I plan on putting in some heavy stuff (i.e. suicidal thoughts) so beware! Now, on with the story….oh ya, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I need to know whether you guys like the idea and the story, etc. so drop a line after you read! Thanks!
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It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Everyone, including myself, thought that I'd become some best-selling author by age 21. But instead, I decided to turn my life around. I am now 25, fresh out of college with a shiny new degree in psychology. I know, I know. Everyone kept saying…Jess Mariano? Psychology? Those words don't find themselves together in one sentence normally. But then again, I'm not normal. I thought I had it all. That is, until one day last week when I found an old copy of Oliver Twist lying in my bookshelf. I opened it up, after deciding to reread this old classic for the hundredth time. Something rectangular fell out onto the floor. It was a picture of us. Her. The girl who was the goddess of my life for my last year in high school. How could I have been so stupid s to let her go? Memories of us together in that cheery town were flashing through my mind. The memory of us on that fatal parting day.
I'll Miss you, Dodger.
I'll miss you too, Ror, but I think it's best for both of us.
I know you're probably right, but I can't bring myself to admit it.
Try, for me Rory. Do you think this is easy for me? I love you with all my heart and well-being. But try to understand. You have been the one who has inspired me to become someone who helps people like I was before I came here. I have to go to college, just like you. Don't worry, Ror. If we are meant to be together, we'll find each other. Fate will guide us to where we're meant to be.
Really? I trust in you with all my heart, so let's try to make this a good last memory, OK?
OK, Rory.
The bus came rambling up the bumpy road, and screeched to a stop in front of us.
This is it, Dodger. Our last goodbye.
Don't make this a goodbye, Rory. Make it a parting for the time being. We'll see each other again.
I then grabbed her into my arms for what I knew deep down would be the last time I saw her, but I didn't want to believe it. I gave her the sweetest kiss my emotions would let me give, and then climbed onto the bus and whispered:
"I'll call you, Rory"
She started to cry and mustered a sweet "I love you, Jess" before turning and running toward home.
Oh, shit. What was I doing to myself? I sat on my bed and immersed myself in the words of the timeless classic.
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Rory Gilmore walked into her apartment and called out to her roommate.
"Lana, I'm Home"
She then collapsed onto the couch and started sobbing softly to herself.
Lana entered the room and stood, framed by the doorway.
"What is it this time?" she said, impatiently.
"Tim dumped me today. Geez, Lana. I feel like the whole world is falling down around me. First my job, my boss, and now this."
She let out a few more sobs before Lana interrupted and spoke in a soothing voice
"Listen, let me go make you some coffee to calm you down, then you watch some TV. Tomorrow you are going to see this great psychiatrist I heard about from Jessie."
"No, Lana. I'm not going to a shrink. I'm not that messed up, geez."
"Look, Rory. I'm your roommate, and I don't want to put up with you moping and sobbing 24/7. That aside, I'm your friend and am seriously worried about you. You are going to this doctor whether you like it or not. Besides", she said with a grin, "I hear he's hot too!"
*The next morning*
"G'morning, Rory!"
Rory let out a groan, when visions of yesterday flew through her head and she thought of going to that damn shrink.
"Now get dressed while I write down his address for you."
Rory, glad for instructions, went to her room and pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. When she came out, Lana handed her a piece of paper.
"Now go and have an open mind. These doctors are highly trained in dealing with people like you."
"I know, I know."
She stumbled out the door and into an elevator. She looked at the piece of paper Lana had given her.
"Dr. Jess Mariano
1459 West 35th Street
Suite 6, Floor 3
The John Wilton Carriage House"