CHAPTER 3 - LESSONS FROM THE PAST
After Giles had left, Spike had given Buffy some aspirin and made her go to sleep with the promise that he'd stay with her. Not that she needed much convincing to go to sleep; she was hurt and exhausted, more than he'd ever seen her be.
As the morning light approached, and with it, his own tiredness, Spike put an extra blanket over the window, in order to keep out the light.
Spike watched Buffy as she slept, soothing her with his voice when she started having nightmares until she settled back into sleep.
He watched her sleep, as his mind tried to formulate a plan; something he could do for her, to ease her burden.
He remembered the lock box, still in his pocket, wishing money could make it all better, could buy happiness; at least for her. "I know, I'll bribe The First to leave us alone," he thought sarcastically to himself. "Yeah, right you wanker."
He watched her sleep, realizing that he'd saved her tonight. Was that a first for him? He'd helped her before. Lots. But mostly, and particulary as of late, it had been her saving him - again and again. It scared him to know that he'd saved her, because really, it wasn't that he'd been strong, only that she'd had a moment of weakness, and for her, that could be deadly.
He remembered when she'd come to him only a couple of years before, looking for answers about how he had killed the two slayers. Wanting to know what they had done wrong; wanting to know how she could learn from their mistakes.
He wished he hadn't said what he had to her; imprinting on her brain forever, the truth of a slayer's short existence.
"Lesson the second: ask the right questions. You want to know how I beat 'em? The question isn't 'How'd I win?' The question is 'Why'd they lose'?."
She was weary tonight, distracted.
"And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Even you."
Already had a taste of it. Twice.
"Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second- that happens...You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day."
Won't be me, pet. Never. Not anymore. Not for a long time. But wouldn't take a vamp only half as good as I was to best you in your present condition. Proved that tonight.
Not to mention The First.
He wished he knew what it was she wanted from him, what she needed from him.
END OF CHAPTER 3
After Giles had left, Spike had given Buffy some aspirin and made her go to sleep with the promise that he'd stay with her. Not that she needed much convincing to go to sleep; she was hurt and exhausted, more than he'd ever seen her be.
As the morning light approached, and with it, his own tiredness, Spike put an extra blanket over the window, in order to keep out the light.
Spike watched Buffy as she slept, soothing her with his voice when she started having nightmares until she settled back into sleep.
He watched her sleep, as his mind tried to formulate a plan; something he could do for her, to ease her burden.
He remembered the lock box, still in his pocket, wishing money could make it all better, could buy happiness; at least for her. "I know, I'll bribe The First to leave us alone," he thought sarcastically to himself. "Yeah, right you wanker."
He watched her sleep, realizing that he'd saved her tonight. Was that a first for him? He'd helped her before. Lots. But mostly, and particulary as of late, it had been her saving him - again and again. It scared him to know that he'd saved her, because really, it wasn't that he'd been strong, only that she'd had a moment of weakness, and for her, that could be deadly.
He remembered when she'd come to him only a couple of years before, looking for answers about how he had killed the two slayers. Wanting to know what they had done wrong; wanting to know how she could learn from their mistakes.
He wished he hadn't said what he had to her; imprinting on her brain forever, the truth of a slayer's short existence.
"Lesson the second: ask the right questions. You want to know how I beat 'em? The question isn't 'How'd I win?' The question is 'Why'd they lose'?."
She was weary tonight, distracted.
"And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Even you."
Already had a taste of it. Twice.
"Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second- that happens...You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day."
Won't be me, pet. Never. Not anymore. Not for a long time. But wouldn't take a vamp only half as good as I was to best you in your present condition. Proved that tonight.
Not to mention The First.
He wished he knew what it was she wanted from him, what she needed from him.
END OF CHAPTER 3