'Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine, and nothing yields to
shelter.'
Sora sighed, taking a seat at one of the large wooden tables of the school's art room. Student works decorated the walls and shelves: mostly those left behind for lack of interest or a place to display them at home. A few were Sora's. He hadn't felt like dragging the large paintings home and dealing with everyone gawking and staring, asking, "what's that," or saying, "gee, I didn't know you could paint."
He leaned back in his chair, grateful to have some time away from Riku and Kairi (especially Kairi) so he could think about his situation. None of the people in his usual group took any sort of art class, so he became friends with others. He was the only male in the class, which he enjoyed because he often found it easier to relate to girls.
He was just getting ready for some serious thought when Yasuko interrupted him.
"Hey Sora!" She grinned, much like he did, slapping him on the back. "What's up?" She was already wearing an over-sized grey T-shirt, covered with paint.
"Nothing." He mumbled. He didn't feel much like talking.
"'Nothing'? You're a dirty liar, Sora. Something's wrong." She suddenly became mischievous, brown eyes flashing. "Girl trouble?"
"You could say that." He sighed, burying his face in his arms.
"Oh, come off it, would you? It can't be /that/ bad." Yasuko smiled, ruffling his hair.
"Well it is, okay?! Leave me alone, Yasuko." He shot her a glare and she immediately backed off.
"Jeez, touchy. Well, if you /do/ wanna talk about, I'm here, k? I don't know any of your friends anyway. Not like I'm gonna go blabbing to them." She rolled her eyes and sat down at the seat adjacent to him, setting down her watercolor painting and setting up her tray. She took a moment to pull her wavy black hair into a loose ponytail.
Sora glanced over at her picture, taking in its nearly finished status. Yasuko had painted a beautiful golden/red phoenix soaring across a pale blue sky, leaving a trail of stardust in its wake. He smiled softly. She always made such happy, inspirational pieces. His were more on the depressing side.
He crossed the room to pull his own painting out of his cubby, finding a case of paints, a brush, and a cup of water to go with it. He hummed sadly, looking at the scene before him.
Blue. The painting was predominately dark blue, with little traces of red and purple finding their way in. It was a person: basically genderless, bald, naked, only visible to the stomach. They were looking down either at something out of the picture or merely in shame (one couldn't be sure) and holding a hand out to an unseen being. Their face was broken, defeated, and in those deep, red eyes, one could see regret and fear. And if one looked just so, they could see contempt and pity.
To make the blue flesh of the figure blend with the background (as though to disappear), it was surrounded by a void of black, blue, and violet. The brushstrokes swirled to create phantasms of tortured faces and crystalline tears. To the edges the painting was dark, and nothing in it resembled even the faintest glimmer of hope. Near the bottom, in shaky block letters, was the word "Sorry..."
"You're just a little ball of sunshine, aren't you?" Commented Dororasu, a short, slightly pudgy sophomore. Her green eyes showed jest as she ran a hand through her dark red hair.
"He's having boy trouble." Yasuko said nonchalantly, adding a few strokes to the phoenix's tail.
"WHAT?!" Sora gawked at her, nearly knocking over his water. However, before she could take in his reaction, Dororasu jumped in glee.
"SOOORAAA! You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!" She grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him.
"Hold, on, hold on, let's back up. At what point did I say I had a boyfriend?" Sora looked back and forth between the two girls, bewildered.
"Who has a boyfriend?" Judisu, a senior with short black hair and blue eyes asked, setting down her own work.
"Sora does!" Dororasu squealed, trying to pull him out of his seat.
"He does? Well congrats, sweetie. I didn't think you'd come out yet." Judisu smiled.
"WAIT A SECOND!" Sora yelled, causing Dororasu to stop pulling on him. "At what point did I say I had a boyfriend?" Sora asked again, although more impatiently.
"Well," Yasuko began, "I asked you if you were having girl trouble, to which you responded, 'something like that.' Now, knowing what I know about you, I just naturally assumed-"
"Assumed! But I didn't /say/ 'oh, yes, I have a boyfriend,' now did I?" Sora fumed.
"Hm. Well, if you didn't, you wouldn't be so angry, now, would you?" Yasuko grinned slyly. Sora blushed madly, burying his face in his arms again. "So, when did it happen?"
"Last night." Sora mumbled, barely audible through the barrier of cloth and flesh. He had told those three girls that he was gay at the beginning of the school year. There were three main reasons for this: 1. They didn't know his other friends, so they wouldn't tell. 2. Dororasu was a lesbian, so there was already one other gay person in the class. 3. He wanted to tell someone who would understand, and he desperately wanted someone to know before they got to know him well.
"Oooh, Sora, I'm so happy for you!" Dororasu grinned, hugging him tightly.
"But what about your girlfriend, Kari was her name? You two break up?" Judisu interjected.
"It's Kairi. And no, we haven't. And therein lies the problem." Sora slumped down again.
"What problem? Just dump her and get it over with." Yasuko stated plainly.
"How? 'Oh, by the way, Kairi, I'm gay and I'm dating our best friend.' Yeah, that'll work out /great/." He snapped sarcastically.
"God, Sora, just have your period already." Yasuko smirked and earned another glare. "But seriously, you have to break it off with her, and soon, or things will just get worse."
"I /know/ that, Ko. But it's fucking hard. I have no real reason for leaving her other than the fact that I'm gay, and I'm not really prepared to tell her that yet."
"Just tell her you're seeing someone else." Dororasu piped up.
"Doro, she's gonna want to know who." Sora sighed exasperatedly.
"Tell her it's a secret." Doro smiled.
Sora rolled his eyes, turning to Judisu. "I'm scared to ask your advice. You'll probably just tell me to beat her until she's unconscious and run away."
"Naw, just kill the bitch. And hide the body. Make sure there are no witnesses, but if there are, dispose of them properly." Judisu beamed.
"None of you guys are any help." Sora leaned forward, letting his head hit the table. "This sucks. This suck so bad." He thunked his head against the surface a few times.
"Sora, calm down." Yasuko put a hand on his shoulder. "You'll figure something out. You're one of the most resourceful people I know." She smiled out of admiration and sympathy.
"But I'm motivated by passion. That's bad."
"No, that's good. You know what you want and you're not afraid to go after it."
"No, I've /been/ afraid for three fucking years."
"But what made you tell that boy how you felt last night?" Yasuko's eyes were intense.
Sora looked at her, then glanced away, thinking. Passion. Yes, passion had motivated him. Inspiration started it, and passion made him follow through. In fact, a lot of his decisions, if not all, were influenced in some way by his unrelenting fervor for the things he desired. He desired Riku, and passion made him claim him.
"Passion will be my downfall." He predicted, almost silently. "I know I'm gonna do something stupid, something really stupid because of my feelings. I can't deal with guilt. It makes me- - It makes me want to explode. I can't just sit and do nothing, but when I do something, I screw up badly." He ran a hand trough his hair.
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Yasuko pulled him closer. "Everything'll be okay. You'll see. I promise, Sora." She smiled softly, reassuringly. He smiled back, then licked his lips, searching for a response.
"Thanks, Ko. I hope you're right. I really do." He smiled again and turned his gaze downward, scratching his head.
"Good luck, Sora. I hope you lead a happy life with your boyfriend." Doro smiled. Sora smiled back in response. "What's his name, anyway?"
"Riku." Sora said simply. "His name is Riku." 'And I love him.' He thought silently.
The four friends subconsciously agreed to end the conversation there, returning to their paintings. As Sora worked, he glanced at Yasuko every once in a while, suddenly having a new appreciation for the precise, delicate movements of her hands. She was also motivated by passion, but it was thought out and prepared. Her canvas was her life, her paints her emotions, and her brush her words. Sora understood that now, and at that moment was very grateful to know her.
The period continued in silence until the bell. The students cleaned up their work, placing their paintings on a rack to dry. Sora gave the three girls one last smile and nod of appreciation before heading out the door to lunch.
'I know I can't keep it all together. And the siren's song that is your madness holds a truth I can't erase, all alone on your face.'
Sora sighed, taking a seat at one of the large wooden tables of the school's art room. Student works decorated the walls and shelves: mostly those left behind for lack of interest or a place to display them at home. A few were Sora's. He hadn't felt like dragging the large paintings home and dealing with everyone gawking and staring, asking, "what's that," or saying, "gee, I didn't know you could paint."
He leaned back in his chair, grateful to have some time away from Riku and Kairi (especially Kairi) so he could think about his situation. None of the people in his usual group took any sort of art class, so he became friends with others. He was the only male in the class, which he enjoyed because he often found it easier to relate to girls.
He was just getting ready for some serious thought when Yasuko interrupted him.
"Hey Sora!" She grinned, much like he did, slapping him on the back. "What's up?" She was already wearing an over-sized grey T-shirt, covered with paint.
"Nothing." He mumbled. He didn't feel much like talking.
"'Nothing'? You're a dirty liar, Sora. Something's wrong." She suddenly became mischievous, brown eyes flashing. "Girl trouble?"
"You could say that." He sighed, burying his face in his arms.
"Oh, come off it, would you? It can't be /that/ bad." Yasuko smiled, ruffling his hair.
"Well it is, okay?! Leave me alone, Yasuko." He shot her a glare and she immediately backed off.
"Jeez, touchy. Well, if you /do/ wanna talk about, I'm here, k? I don't know any of your friends anyway. Not like I'm gonna go blabbing to them." She rolled her eyes and sat down at the seat adjacent to him, setting down her watercolor painting and setting up her tray. She took a moment to pull her wavy black hair into a loose ponytail.
Sora glanced over at her picture, taking in its nearly finished status. Yasuko had painted a beautiful golden/red phoenix soaring across a pale blue sky, leaving a trail of stardust in its wake. He smiled softly. She always made such happy, inspirational pieces. His were more on the depressing side.
He crossed the room to pull his own painting out of his cubby, finding a case of paints, a brush, and a cup of water to go with it. He hummed sadly, looking at the scene before him.
Blue. The painting was predominately dark blue, with little traces of red and purple finding their way in. It was a person: basically genderless, bald, naked, only visible to the stomach. They were looking down either at something out of the picture or merely in shame (one couldn't be sure) and holding a hand out to an unseen being. Their face was broken, defeated, and in those deep, red eyes, one could see regret and fear. And if one looked just so, they could see contempt and pity.
To make the blue flesh of the figure blend with the background (as though to disappear), it was surrounded by a void of black, blue, and violet. The brushstrokes swirled to create phantasms of tortured faces and crystalline tears. To the edges the painting was dark, and nothing in it resembled even the faintest glimmer of hope. Near the bottom, in shaky block letters, was the word "Sorry..."
"You're just a little ball of sunshine, aren't you?" Commented Dororasu, a short, slightly pudgy sophomore. Her green eyes showed jest as she ran a hand through her dark red hair.
"He's having boy trouble." Yasuko said nonchalantly, adding a few strokes to the phoenix's tail.
"WHAT?!" Sora gawked at her, nearly knocking over his water. However, before she could take in his reaction, Dororasu jumped in glee.
"SOOORAAA! You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!" She grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him.
"Hold, on, hold on, let's back up. At what point did I say I had a boyfriend?" Sora looked back and forth between the two girls, bewildered.
"Who has a boyfriend?" Judisu, a senior with short black hair and blue eyes asked, setting down her own work.
"Sora does!" Dororasu squealed, trying to pull him out of his seat.
"He does? Well congrats, sweetie. I didn't think you'd come out yet." Judisu smiled.
"WAIT A SECOND!" Sora yelled, causing Dororasu to stop pulling on him. "At what point did I say I had a boyfriend?" Sora asked again, although more impatiently.
"Well," Yasuko began, "I asked you if you were having girl trouble, to which you responded, 'something like that.' Now, knowing what I know about you, I just naturally assumed-"
"Assumed! But I didn't /say/ 'oh, yes, I have a boyfriend,' now did I?" Sora fumed.
"Hm. Well, if you didn't, you wouldn't be so angry, now, would you?" Yasuko grinned slyly. Sora blushed madly, burying his face in his arms again. "So, when did it happen?"
"Last night." Sora mumbled, barely audible through the barrier of cloth and flesh. He had told those three girls that he was gay at the beginning of the school year. There were three main reasons for this: 1. They didn't know his other friends, so they wouldn't tell. 2. Dororasu was a lesbian, so there was already one other gay person in the class. 3. He wanted to tell someone who would understand, and he desperately wanted someone to know before they got to know him well.
"Oooh, Sora, I'm so happy for you!" Dororasu grinned, hugging him tightly.
"But what about your girlfriend, Kari was her name? You two break up?" Judisu interjected.
"It's Kairi. And no, we haven't. And therein lies the problem." Sora slumped down again.
"What problem? Just dump her and get it over with." Yasuko stated plainly.
"How? 'Oh, by the way, Kairi, I'm gay and I'm dating our best friend.' Yeah, that'll work out /great/." He snapped sarcastically.
"God, Sora, just have your period already." Yasuko smirked and earned another glare. "But seriously, you have to break it off with her, and soon, or things will just get worse."
"I /know/ that, Ko. But it's fucking hard. I have no real reason for leaving her other than the fact that I'm gay, and I'm not really prepared to tell her that yet."
"Just tell her you're seeing someone else." Dororasu piped up.
"Doro, she's gonna want to know who." Sora sighed exasperatedly.
"Tell her it's a secret." Doro smiled.
Sora rolled his eyes, turning to Judisu. "I'm scared to ask your advice. You'll probably just tell me to beat her until she's unconscious and run away."
"Naw, just kill the bitch. And hide the body. Make sure there are no witnesses, but if there are, dispose of them properly." Judisu beamed.
"None of you guys are any help." Sora leaned forward, letting his head hit the table. "This sucks. This suck so bad." He thunked his head against the surface a few times.
"Sora, calm down." Yasuko put a hand on his shoulder. "You'll figure something out. You're one of the most resourceful people I know." She smiled out of admiration and sympathy.
"But I'm motivated by passion. That's bad."
"No, that's good. You know what you want and you're not afraid to go after it."
"No, I've /been/ afraid for three fucking years."
"But what made you tell that boy how you felt last night?" Yasuko's eyes were intense.
Sora looked at her, then glanced away, thinking. Passion. Yes, passion had motivated him. Inspiration started it, and passion made him follow through. In fact, a lot of his decisions, if not all, were influenced in some way by his unrelenting fervor for the things he desired. He desired Riku, and passion made him claim him.
"Passion will be my downfall." He predicted, almost silently. "I know I'm gonna do something stupid, something really stupid because of my feelings. I can't deal with guilt. It makes me- - It makes me want to explode. I can't just sit and do nothing, but when I do something, I screw up badly." He ran a hand trough his hair.
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Yasuko pulled him closer. "Everything'll be okay. You'll see. I promise, Sora." She smiled softly, reassuringly. He smiled back, then licked his lips, searching for a response.
"Thanks, Ko. I hope you're right. I really do." He smiled again and turned his gaze downward, scratching his head.
"Good luck, Sora. I hope you lead a happy life with your boyfriend." Doro smiled. Sora smiled back in response. "What's his name, anyway?"
"Riku." Sora said simply. "His name is Riku." 'And I love him.' He thought silently.
The four friends subconsciously agreed to end the conversation there, returning to their paintings. As Sora worked, he glanced at Yasuko every once in a while, suddenly having a new appreciation for the precise, delicate movements of her hands. She was also motivated by passion, but it was thought out and prepared. Her canvas was her life, her paints her emotions, and her brush her words. Sora understood that now, and at that moment was very grateful to know her.
The period continued in silence until the bell. The students cleaned up their work, placing their paintings on a rack to dry. Sora gave the three girls one last smile and nod of appreciation before heading out the door to lunch.
'I know I can't keep it all together. And the siren's song that is your madness holds a truth I can't erase, all alone on your face.'