Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, anything I've written so
far, as a matter of fact. French teachers can rot in hell. don't ask me to
explain. Ah well. they can take my phone and T.V, but they can't take my
computer!
Anyways, the day I got grounded, I was talking to my friend Rachael on the phone. To understand this story, you must first know this: Rachael is a fast little bitch whose mind THRIVES in the gutter. So, while I was talking on the phone, this VERY HENTAI idea popped into my head. Now, you must understand, Rachael is a big hentai herself, and we've been friends for about 2 years, so it's kind of hard to refrain from turning into her. So, I hung up with her and started writing this chapter. (Don't worry, this story ends soon)
So, the next day, I took it to school and let my friends/fellow anime addicts critique it. People-eater strongly suggested that I change the rating from PG-13 to flat out R and post up a lemon warning. At least for this chappy. But I said 'It's not that bad!' It's a little freaky, I'll admit, but people, people, I HATE lemons, so why the hell would I proceed to write them?! But for now, I'm going to change the rating for this chapter to.. PG-14. Happy? Oh, and I promised everyone at school, that I would never-ever write anything like this again. but you know me.
Now that I've explained this chapter in a long excruciatingly detailed page, on with the chapter.
Disclaimer: Although I've stretched my Almighty Authoress Powers FAAAARRRR beyond their limits, I own nothing.
The Time I Made Them Play Real World
Chapter 4: Not A Lemon, But SO Perverted That I Felt the Need to Change the Rating (a/n: One more thing. Actually two. I have officially activated the BEDCAMS! Yes, one of the best features on my show, the bedcam is a camera in the bedroom, catching all the REAL action. You'll also see more of the confessional, people will start visiting, and yes.yet MORE of my crackhead commercials. Continue) BC= bedcam C= confessional
BC: Miroku and Sango's room.
Miroku: (stripping) I'm. too sexy for myself.too sexy for my shirt.
Sango: (from under covers) Would ya' do me a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP???!!!
Miroku: Oh please! I've seen you staring at my masculine.toned.sexy body! You know you want to join the party in my pants! It's quite fun.I've been quite a few times!
Sango: *twitch* *heaves*
C: Ron.
Ron: Geez, I wish those two would pipe down! I mean, my room is right next to theirs and I can hear them *shudder*. doing the dirty. They're always shaking my headboard. I can hardly sleep at night! Gods, have some dignity! And anyway, where does that wench Sasami come off thinking that she can screw Hermione like that?! She USED to be my girl back at Hogwarts!
BC: Sasami and Hermione's room.
Hermione: Sasami, you're a genius with those hands of yours.
Sasami: I try. Looks like all that manual labor back in Tokyo finally paid off!
C: Ron
Ron: I mean, you should hear those two! They're like wild animals! It's very disturbing!
BC: Sasami and Hermione
Sasami: I think Ron's jealous
Hermione: Why wouldn't he be? I know he wishes I would go down on him like I do you!
Sasami: You're rather good at that.
Hermione: Thank-you! It's my specialty. I've had PLENTY of practice with Madame Hooch. She sure is a whizzin' wizard!
C: Ron
Ron: *heaves*
COMMERCIAL: Sesshoumaru: As many of you know, I am a full-time youkai and am constantly fighting and dealing with incompetents such as Jaken. So, as you can tell, I've got NO time to be reapplying my makeup. I've tried many other brands, but none of them worked. And ladies, you know that running mascara scares away ALL the hunks! So, I've made that switch to Maybeline! It's so great because everything is compatible and long lasting. I wouldn't trust my eyelids with any other brand! Singers: Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybeline!
(back to show)
Draco: (sitting on balcony with Ryoko smoking an unidentified substance) Want a fag?
Ryoko: Er. no thanks.
Harry: (from distance) AAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Draco: I'm so f~bleep~in' sick of that Potter!
Ryoko: I know! I think we should cut the scar out of his damned skull.
Draco: Yes then I would claim Voldemorte's wand.
Ryoko: They can do that now?!
Draco: Of course they can. All they have to do is sell it.
Ryoko: If I had known that, I would've bought one for myself YEARS ago.
(a/n: for all you nice, wholesome, non-hentais, she's referring to a wand you find on a male's body, but Draco's talking about the magic stick thingy)
(Tenchi and Inuyasha at bar)
Inuyasha: Where are we?
Tenchi: It's called a bar, Inuyasha! You order alcohol and go home wasted.
Inuyasha: Sounds fun. Back in the Sengoku Jidai, all we had was that stupid sake. It tasted like crap.
Tenchi: Here, they've got a lot of choices. (to bartender) Five shots to start us off.
(three hours later)
Inuyasha: I din' no is suff wath' sto stong.
Tenchi: Yeah, it's great isn't it? (completely drunk, but totally used to it, so he's not really effected by the liquor, whereas Inuyasha, well. I let you judge that yourself.)
Inuyasha: I wan' more.
Tenchi: I don't think so. Kagome'll have my head for this as it is.
Inuyasha: One more gayon? Pweeaassee?? (hiccup; is out cold)
(in hot tub)
Shippou: This is fun! (with Ayeka in rubber floaties)
Ayeka: Oh Shippou, you manly child! I would fly to Uranus for you! (#3 reason to kill me: I exploited poor eight-year-old Shippou)
Shippou: Yah.
Ayeka: I worship you, my lord. I shall give you whatever you want!
Shippou: Hmmm. I want some chocolate!
(Miroku and Draco at video store)
Miroku: Kagome said to get some movies. What are those?
Draco: Long moving pictures.
Miroku: Oh. There's so many, what should we get?
Draco: I know! (walks over to porno section) Let's get 'Sex on the Moon'! (I MADE UP THESE TITLES, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!) I've seen it about five times. Snape gave me a list of about 50 good porno movies.
(back at house)
Kagome: I think I should've gone with them. I don't trust those two.
Sango: Yep.
(Draco and Miroku)
Clerk: Do you need help getting those to your car? (points to 20 movies)
Draco: This oughta be fun.
(back at house)
Tenchi: Hey! We're back.
Kagome: What is that SMELL?!?!
Inuyasha: 'Ey 'gome!
Kagome: Inuyasha, are you drunk?
Inuyasha: An' -igh.
Tenchi: You weren't supposed to say that. (sweatdrops)
Kagome: Tenchi.
(Draco and Miroku come in)
Kagome: That's a LOT of movies. What EXACTLY did you get?
Draco: 'Sex on the Moon'; 'The Amazons'; 'College Girls Gone Wild: Vols. 1- 8'-
Miroku: 'Playboy: Night of a 100 Babes'; 'Hot Trans'-; 'Passion Beach'-
Kagome: *twitch*
Harry: Did I hear 'Passion Beach'? T-t-that's my FAVORITE! (# 1 reason to kill me: I turned Harry Potter into Hairy Porno)
Draco: A man with taste!
Hermione: Me and Sasami have dibs on 'Night of a 100 Babes'!
Kagome: You people are DISGUSTING!
Shippou: Hi! Whatcha doin?
Draco: About to watch movies!
Shippou: Yippee! I wanna watch one!
Kagome: Shippou, those are not-
Shippou: I'm going with Harry! Bye Kagome!
Sango: What an interesting choice of entertainment.
Kagome: Sango, I think we'd better go have a TALK with these bleep bleep bleep.
COMMERCIAL
Luscious Malfoy: (in shower making disturbing noises) (a/n: ya know, Draco's dad who got hair I would KILL for?)
Mysterious Men in Black T-shirts: He's got the urge! Herbal botanicals! He's got the urge for Herbal! Luscious: OOHH! (flips hair and giggles) MMiBTs: He's got the urge!
(back to show)
C: Kagome
Kagome: I cannot BELIVE that they got over twenty movies like that! Me and Sango are the only sane ones left!
BC: Ron's room
Hermione: I'm glad we're in Ron's room. It's so much bigger.
Ron: Thank-you!
Sasami: Not you, the bed.
Hermione: But you're good too, Ron!
Sorry I wrote this, but it's funny. But I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that I will never intentionally write something like this again. In fact, my friends made me write up a contract stating that I would never write something like that again. I had to sign it, they took pictures. A little much, right? Anyway, I'm going to stop delaying the inevitable; I'm ready for my flames. I will use them to make my ramen tonight. Well, review, flames or no.
Anyways, the day I got grounded, I was talking to my friend Rachael on the phone. To understand this story, you must first know this: Rachael is a fast little bitch whose mind THRIVES in the gutter. So, while I was talking on the phone, this VERY HENTAI idea popped into my head. Now, you must understand, Rachael is a big hentai herself, and we've been friends for about 2 years, so it's kind of hard to refrain from turning into her. So, I hung up with her and started writing this chapter. (Don't worry, this story ends soon)
So, the next day, I took it to school and let my friends/fellow anime addicts critique it. People-eater strongly suggested that I change the rating from PG-13 to flat out R and post up a lemon warning. At least for this chappy. But I said 'It's not that bad!' It's a little freaky, I'll admit, but people, people, I HATE lemons, so why the hell would I proceed to write them?! But for now, I'm going to change the rating for this chapter to.. PG-14. Happy? Oh, and I promised everyone at school, that I would never-ever write anything like this again. but you know me.
Now that I've explained this chapter in a long excruciatingly detailed page, on with the chapter.
Disclaimer: Although I've stretched my Almighty Authoress Powers FAAAARRRR beyond their limits, I own nothing.
The Time I Made Them Play Real World
Chapter 4: Not A Lemon, But SO Perverted That I Felt the Need to Change the Rating (a/n: One more thing. Actually two. I have officially activated the BEDCAMS! Yes, one of the best features on my show, the bedcam is a camera in the bedroom, catching all the REAL action. You'll also see more of the confessional, people will start visiting, and yes.yet MORE of my crackhead commercials. Continue) BC= bedcam C= confessional
BC: Miroku and Sango's room.
Miroku: (stripping) I'm. too sexy for myself.too sexy for my shirt.
Sango: (from under covers) Would ya' do me a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP???!!!
Miroku: Oh please! I've seen you staring at my masculine.toned.sexy body! You know you want to join the party in my pants! It's quite fun.I've been quite a few times!
Sango: *twitch* *heaves*
C: Ron.
Ron: Geez, I wish those two would pipe down! I mean, my room is right next to theirs and I can hear them *shudder*. doing the dirty. They're always shaking my headboard. I can hardly sleep at night! Gods, have some dignity! And anyway, where does that wench Sasami come off thinking that she can screw Hermione like that?! She USED to be my girl back at Hogwarts!
BC: Sasami and Hermione's room.
Hermione: Sasami, you're a genius with those hands of yours.
Sasami: I try. Looks like all that manual labor back in Tokyo finally paid off!
C: Ron
Ron: I mean, you should hear those two! They're like wild animals! It's very disturbing!
BC: Sasami and Hermione
Sasami: I think Ron's jealous
Hermione: Why wouldn't he be? I know he wishes I would go down on him like I do you!
Sasami: You're rather good at that.
Hermione: Thank-you! It's my specialty. I've had PLENTY of practice with Madame Hooch. She sure is a whizzin' wizard!
C: Ron
Ron: *heaves*
COMMERCIAL: Sesshoumaru: As many of you know, I am a full-time youkai and am constantly fighting and dealing with incompetents such as Jaken. So, as you can tell, I've got NO time to be reapplying my makeup. I've tried many other brands, but none of them worked. And ladies, you know that running mascara scares away ALL the hunks! So, I've made that switch to Maybeline! It's so great because everything is compatible and long lasting. I wouldn't trust my eyelids with any other brand! Singers: Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybeline!
(back to show)
Draco: (sitting on balcony with Ryoko smoking an unidentified substance) Want a fag?
Ryoko: Er. no thanks.
Harry: (from distance) AAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Draco: I'm so f~bleep~in' sick of that Potter!
Ryoko: I know! I think we should cut the scar out of his damned skull.
Draco: Yes then I would claim Voldemorte's wand.
Ryoko: They can do that now?!
Draco: Of course they can. All they have to do is sell it.
Ryoko: If I had known that, I would've bought one for myself YEARS ago.
(a/n: for all you nice, wholesome, non-hentais, she's referring to a wand you find on a male's body, but Draco's talking about the magic stick thingy)
(Tenchi and Inuyasha at bar)
Inuyasha: Where are we?
Tenchi: It's called a bar, Inuyasha! You order alcohol and go home wasted.
Inuyasha: Sounds fun. Back in the Sengoku Jidai, all we had was that stupid sake. It tasted like crap.
Tenchi: Here, they've got a lot of choices. (to bartender) Five shots to start us off.
(three hours later)
Inuyasha: I din' no is suff wath' sto stong.
Tenchi: Yeah, it's great isn't it? (completely drunk, but totally used to it, so he's not really effected by the liquor, whereas Inuyasha, well. I let you judge that yourself.)
Inuyasha: I wan' more.
Tenchi: I don't think so. Kagome'll have my head for this as it is.
Inuyasha: One more gayon? Pweeaassee?? (hiccup; is out cold)
(in hot tub)
Shippou: This is fun! (with Ayeka in rubber floaties)
Ayeka: Oh Shippou, you manly child! I would fly to Uranus for you! (#3 reason to kill me: I exploited poor eight-year-old Shippou)
Shippou: Yah.
Ayeka: I worship you, my lord. I shall give you whatever you want!
Shippou: Hmmm. I want some chocolate!
(Miroku and Draco at video store)
Miroku: Kagome said to get some movies. What are those?
Draco: Long moving pictures.
Miroku: Oh. There's so many, what should we get?
Draco: I know! (walks over to porno section) Let's get 'Sex on the Moon'! (I MADE UP THESE TITLES, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!) I've seen it about five times. Snape gave me a list of about 50 good porno movies.
(back at house)
Kagome: I think I should've gone with them. I don't trust those two.
Sango: Yep.
(Draco and Miroku)
Clerk: Do you need help getting those to your car? (points to 20 movies)
Draco: This oughta be fun.
(back at house)
Tenchi: Hey! We're back.
Kagome: What is that SMELL?!?!
Inuyasha: 'Ey 'gome!
Kagome: Inuyasha, are you drunk?
Inuyasha: An' -igh.
Tenchi: You weren't supposed to say that. (sweatdrops)
Kagome: Tenchi.
(Draco and Miroku come in)
Kagome: That's a LOT of movies. What EXACTLY did you get?
Draco: 'Sex on the Moon'; 'The Amazons'; 'College Girls Gone Wild: Vols. 1- 8'-
Miroku: 'Playboy: Night of a 100 Babes'; 'Hot Trans'-; 'Passion Beach'-
Kagome: *twitch*
Harry: Did I hear 'Passion Beach'? T-t-that's my FAVORITE! (# 1 reason to kill me: I turned Harry Potter into Hairy Porno)
Draco: A man with taste!
Hermione: Me and Sasami have dibs on 'Night of a 100 Babes'!
Kagome: You people are DISGUSTING!
Shippou: Hi! Whatcha doin?
Draco: About to watch movies!
Shippou: Yippee! I wanna watch one!
Kagome: Shippou, those are not-
Shippou: I'm going with Harry! Bye Kagome!
Sango: What an interesting choice of entertainment.
Kagome: Sango, I think we'd better go have a TALK with these bleep bleep bleep.
COMMERCIAL
Luscious Malfoy: (in shower making disturbing noises) (a/n: ya know, Draco's dad who got hair I would KILL for?)
Mysterious Men in Black T-shirts: He's got the urge! Herbal botanicals! He's got the urge for Herbal! Luscious: OOHH! (flips hair and giggles) MMiBTs: He's got the urge!
(back to show)
C: Kagome
Kagome: I cannot BELIVE that they got over twenty movies like that! Me and Sango are the only sane ones left!
BC: Ron's room
Hermione: I'm glad we're in Ron's room. It's so much bigger.
Ron: Thank-you!
Sasami: Not you, the bed.
Hermione: But you're good too, Ron!
Sorry I wrote this, but it's funny. But I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that I will never intentionally write something like this again. In fact, my friends made me write up a contract stating that I would never write something like that again. I had to sign it, they took pictures. A little much, right? Anyway, I'm going to stop delaying the inevitable; I'm ready for my flames. I will use them to make my ramen tonight. Well, review, flames or no.