The characters are as follows, along with short explanations:
Harry = Frodo
For obvious reasons.
Ron = Sam
Please don't tell me I need to explain this one.
Neville = Gimli
Because Neville as Gimli is humorous. Plus, they are both buffoons.
Draco = Legolas
Draco is a sex god. Legolas is a sex god. It is not necessary that I elaborate further.
Hermione = Strider/Aragorn
My list of available male characters quickly runs dry.
Fred = Merry and George = Pippin
Because Fred and George are twins, and because everybody gets Merry/Pippin confused as they are, apparently, interchangeable.
Snape = Boromir
They share similar physical attributes--the hook nose, the perpetually oily hair.
Dumbledore the Slightly Off-Colour or Grey = Gandalf the Grey This one is far too easy. Is it secret? Is it safe?!
McGonagall the Monochromatic = Sarumon
...Er, HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAH
Hagrid = Bilbo
I just want to see Hagrid in that little house.
(A Rather Disembodied) Voldemort = Evil and Quite Distressing Eye of Sauron
Also for obvious reasons, namely the villanous nature.
Trelawney = Galadriel
It would have been so much more fun to make Galadriel Mad-Eye Moody, but I guess Professor Trelawney fits the part better. Sigh.
Crabbe = Elrond
My list of available good characters quickly runs dry.
Goyle = Arwen
Picture the Strider/Arwen scene from the movie. Now put Hermione/Goyle in their places. That, my friends, is true romance. Please note the thick coating of sarcasm that comes along with those past two sentences. The irony is spread upon them as caramel on a candy apple. That means it is very thick.
Dobby = Gollum
They have the same sporadic speech pattern, and we know Dobby is just screaming to be made into a sociopathic hobbit-type hybrid creature that dwells underground. ...Isn't he?
Death Eaters = Ringwraiths/Nazgul
DUH.
Argus Filch = Creepy Gatekeeper of Bree
Well, they are both creepy.
If there are any other characters that you believe lack clarification, please review and tell me that I am a barbaric fool, deserving only to be dipped in boiling oil and then to have my skin slowly flayed from my body. This is not a ploy to get reviews. It is done purely because I have your best interests at heart.
Now, dear readers, you must be thinking that, to write a Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings crossover fic, one must command a great knowledge of both the Harry Potter Universe and that of Lord of the Rings. Wrong again! I do not claim to hold any superior knowledge about either series. In fact, if you pulled a common penguin from the streets, it would probably receive better marks than I on a multiple choice quiz based on both series.
However, I, being the selfish, haughty writer that I am, have decided to do something about the obvious lack of Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings crossover parody.
I cannot guarantee that I will be any good at it, but I will give it my best shot.