gail: My People prefer the term "mentally alienated." It's a touchy subject.
Earthygirl87i: I know.
Shelob: We are never to speak again. I mean...thank you for your input, as it has helped me greatly in my endeavors to relieve the world of strife.
Lady Arra: What the hell is YWS/S? Do not try to confuse me, as it will only result in pure madness.
greeneyes-blackleather: ^_^
Ravenclaw42: I must say that I am somewhat distressed that you've gotten in trouble because of me. At least it's because you were laughing, and not because you were screaming in terror at the horrible writing.
groonie: I adore you, as always.
EVERYONE ELSE: ...Spaghetti is good for the brain. Salami is a funny word. Broccoli.
~*~*~*~
HARRY and RON(WISE) travel out of the Shire. HARRY seems a bit disheartened, but RON is fairly jubilant.
RON: Isn't this wonderful, Harry? Just the two of us, alone on a trek!
HARRY: Yes, it's wonder--
RON: I can't believe how lucky I am, just be going to such far away places with you! We'll get to see the elves and I've heard they have lovely songs and I'm sure they have great food and Harry you know that I love eat and I love to sing and--oof!
FRED and GEORGE suddenly fall upon HARRY and RON.
HARRY: Fred, you rapscallion! What are you doing here?
FRED: Well, we've just stolen some crops from the formidable farmer and now he's chasing us with a pitchfork!
GEORGE: Hee! Isn't that wonderful?
HARRY: Yes, it's wonder--
FRED: Well, up and at 'em! Time to go!
FRED helps HARRY up and GEORGE assists RON. They all rush away from the telltale top of the pitchfork that waves at them from above the cornstalks.
RON: Why's the farmer so mad at you?
GEORGE: Well, we did steal almost his entire supply of food and, because of our constant thievery, his family's going to starve!
FRED: Hee!
Suddenly they all tumble down a rather large, but unnoticed embankment and land facefirst on road.
FRED and GEORGE: Hee!
HARRY and RON: Owww...
As FRED, GEORGE, and RON gather up all the dropped vegetables, HARRY stares apprehensively at the road. The trees start to sway, and, because HARRY happened to fall into a pile of mushrooms, we have cause to wonder if he is only hallucinating.
HARRY: Get off the road!
Comically, FRED, GEORGE, RON, and HARRY stumble off the road and hide under a tree root. There is a whooshing sound that is reminescant of Darth Vader's asthmatic breathing.
Death Eater #1: (raspy breathing as he sniffs around for the ring) Kkkkkkk-pssshhh...Kkkkkkk-pssshhh...
GEORGE: (whispering) We're all going to die!
HARRY reaches for the One Hat in his pocket.
HARRY: The Hat...would be so beautiful upon my head...
HARRY reaches into his pocket.
FRED reaches over HARRY's chest, smacking his arm away from his pocket. He grabs a rutabega from RONWISE's vest pocket and throws it. The DEATH EATER runs away, his breathing still labored.
RON: Whew! That was close!
HARRY: Yeah, that was pretty--
RON grabs HARRY's hand and yanks him up his feet, skipping and dragging the older Hobbit along next to him.
RON: Oh, a-questing we will go, a-questing we will go! Down the lane we'll go insane and a-questing we will go!
HARRY: Did you make that up yourself?
RON: Yes.
HARRY: I can tell.
RON: (oblivious) Why, thank you!
HARRY: No prob.
GEORGE: (whiny) I wanted that rutabega.
FRED: Hee!
GEORGE: ...Hee!
RON: Okay, second verse! Oh, a-questing... (continues)
HARRY: Oh, God.