Hello allz! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a bit. I hate when authors do
that, and here I am doing it myself. I'M TURNING INTO A HYPOCRITE!!!!
Anywayz, I've been really busy this week, I've hardly had time to get on the computer! Except for that stupid poetry project my retard teacher gave us the week of ISAT testing. It's not excuse for me turning into a hypocrite. I sorry! It won't happen again!
Disclaimer: Look, we ALL know that all I own is misery. Happy now?
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Hocus Pocus and Retarded Little Headed Japan-Man
(Inuyasha still slumped on couch)
Kagome: Inuyasha! If you don't get you lazy but off the couch, I'll go kill myself!!!
Inuyasha: See you in the afterlife.
Kagome: INUYASHA! Fine, I never thought I'd have to do this, but I called some people here to pull you out of your slump. C'mon out guys! (Naraku, Sesshoumaru and Kikyou come out) Okay, one of you start talking, now! I can't stand one more day of this.
Kikyou: I'll go first. (walks up to Inuyasha) Inuyashaaaaaa. What's wrong?
Inuyasha: Oh, hi Kikyou. Nothing's wrong with me. How's it going?
Kikyou: Did Kagome do something to you? (tries to smile, but kills a couple of birds perched in the windowsill)
Inuyasha: Oh, nothing's wrong! She just put me on her alcohol deprivation program. It's done miracles.
Kikyou: I see. She's a stupid bitch. Why not come with me to the depths of hell? (voice lowers to scary demonic voice)
Kagome: Excuse me! He's mine!!! (puts her hand in between them just as she's gonna kiss him)
Kikyou: Back off, bitch. You've already seen what affect you've had on him.
Kagome: Back up off my man!!! (attacks Kikyou and they start rolling around on the floor)
Sesshoumaru: Well then. Let's see if I can pull him out of this reverie. (holds out hand) Give me the Tessaiga, NOW!
Inuyasha: Sure, it's in the broom closet right over there. (points to closet near door)
Sesshoumaru: Really? I can have it? (gets all happy-go-lucky) I mean, aren't you gonna say something really smart then yell out an empty and useless threat against my life?
Inuyasha: We're brothers, man. I'd never dream of it.
Sesshoumaru: Well then, since you're so partial to the idea.
Kagome: (pinned to the floor with Kikyou's hands on her neck) OH NO YOU DON'T!!!
Sesshoumaru: Never mind, there's no honor in taking the sword from a broom closet, anyway. I'd rather fight and kill Inuyasha for the sword. I'm out. (zooms out on Ah-Un)
Naraku: Well, of course those two buffoons didn't succeed to get a rise out of you Inuyasha, but I will. For I am Naraku!!! (walks up to Inuyasha) Hey, you stupid piece of hanyou scum.
Inuyasha: 'Sup?
Naraku: Huh? How's about handing over the jewel shards and letting me take over the earth and kill you?! (laughs maniacally) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Inuyasha: Yeah, about that. I think we should just bury the hatchet. Whadda ya' say? But if you really want them, I suppose you can have 'em. I wasn't going to do anything with them but turn into a full demon anyway. No long- term goals or anything, like you.
Naraku: How about you throw in Kagome and we'll call it even?
Inuyasha: Done. Hey Kagome! (Kagome beating Kikyou in the head with a spoon) I sold you and the shards to Naraku. Get packing.
Kagome: WHAT?!?!?! Get OUT Naraku and Kikyou! OUT OUT OUT!!! (they both leave) What were you thinking?
Inuyasha: I don't think I was thinking at all.
Kagome: That's it! I'll make sure you're out of it by the end of this weekend!!!
(Draco and Hermione crouched around corner, spying on Ron and Sasami)
Hermione: That awful wench! I'll show her yet! Are you sure this is a great idea?
Draco: 'Mione, would I ever ever do you wrong? (gets blank stare from Hermione) Don't answer that. Anyway, all you gotta do is do wit' da' wand, and Ron is all yours!
Hermione: Do you happen to get anything out of this?
Draco: A job well done, and if I play my cards right, a new shawty! You know I love 'dem hoes
Hermione: Well, that she is. And you can have once I'm done with her. Not that she'll be very appealing in the end.
Draco: OH, now's your chance! But go easy on her, at least the first time.
Hermione: Oh believe me, I'll make she gets what she has coming for her.
(Sango and Miroku in hot tub)
Sango: Sorry I had to burn your pants, but you were driving me INSANE!
Miroku: I'm actually very thankful. It was just the divine intervention the Lord ordered. I'm very happy to be back to myself.
Sango: I missed the old you!
Miroku: So did I, Sango. So did I!
Sango: (face turns pink) Houshi-sama, why is you're hand on my bleep bleep bleep?
Miroku: That's what it's called? I didn't know that. (Sango pounces him and screen goes black)
C: Kagome
Kagome: I'm so sick of Inuyasha's slacky behavior, but that's okay 'cause I'll fix him up real quick! I called the one person to make him start acting out in a second!
(Hermione poised to cast spell)
Draco: Steady, steady. NOW!
(beam of red light bursts from wand and hits Sasami)
Ron: Sasami! Are you alright? (gasps) What the fbleep?!?!
Sasami: Oh my god! WHAT HAPPENED?! (Hermione and Draco run off LTAO's)
(Kagome and Inuyasha @ airport)
Inuyasha: Why are we here?
Kagome: Because, I'm meeting someone. Now stand up straight!
Inuyasha: But why did I have to come?
Kagome: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO GODAMNIT!!!
Inuyasha: No need to yell. So, who are we waiting for?
Kagome: It's a surprise. And would you stop being so damn nice?! It's unnerving.
Inuyasha: Kagome, you should lighten up. You're so high-strung. Try yoga, works like a charm everytime.
Kagome: Shutup, Inuyasha! There he is. (yells) Hojo! Over here! (little headed Japan-Man walks over)
Hojo: Hey, Kagome! (hugs)
Kagome: Inuyasha, you remember Hojo?
Inuyasha: Meany-senses-tingling. MUST FIGHT. GRRR.
Hojo: Er, hi! Nice ears! *tweak* *tweak*
Inuyasha: *eyeball twitch* Th-th-thanks.
(Miroku and Draco in kitchen)
Draco: It's good to have you back, brotha'. I was seriously starting to worry.
Miroku: Thanks Draco. Say, I'm pretty hungry, whipped up any brownies lately?
Draco: Well, I made some, only I put in a wrong ingredient, and they may taste a lil' funny. But if you want some, you can have 'em.
Miroku: Thanks man!
(Tenchi hiding under the covers)
Ryoko: Oh Teeenchiiiii! Where aaare yooouuuu? I've got something for yoouuu! I bought you a bird!!!! *3 hrs later* It's a very pretty bird!
Tenchi: Oh shit! I gotta go! Well, maybe I can make a mad dash before she gets her claws on me! (silent for two minutes) She's Gone! Finally. (comes out, but Ryoko is standing guard at the door. Holy shit!!
Ryoko: I told you I had a present for you! It's a bird. And here it is!!! (flips him the bird. You know, the 'F'-finger)
Tenchi: Ouch!!
C: Sango Sango: On the bright side, Miroku is no longer driving me insane with his pants. On the dark side, he's driving me insane with his EXTREME PERVERTEDNESS!!!
(Hermione, Ron and Sasa- I'll let you judge that for yourself)
Ron: Sasami!!! You're a man! A big, ugly man.
(Hermione LHAO)
Sasami: (deep bass voice) OH MY GOD!! Hermione! How could you do this?!
Hermione: I- ha ha- had to because- hee ha- you were- haa!- getting-hee- in- ha- the- ha- way! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Sasami: I HATE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!! Let's GO Ron.
Ron: Sorry, dude. I don't date cross-dressers. Plus, if Hermione put the spell I think she put on you, then you're also a transvestite.
(the he-she runs off to blubber somewhere)
Hermione: So, are we on?
Ron: Yeah!
(Draco suddenly appears out of nowhere)
Draco: Pimp-Daddy Weasly! Movin' from one girl to the next! Dude, you my new roll dawg!!
(Harry, Shippou and Ayeka eating @ café)
Harry: I think that I should start bonding with everyone in the house, and that's why I've brought you all to lunch.
Ayeka: O-kay. 0___0
Harry: So, how's everyone doing lately?
Shippou: Good.
Harry: Are you sure? You seem a little disconnected. You do know that it's instinct to say that you're fine, when you could feel like you're dying inside. Express your true feelings.
Shippou: Well, Kagome has been pretty much ignoring me since we came on this show, but Ayeka's starting to fill in that gap. But it's not the same.
Harry: I totally understand! Even though you've found a good friend in Ayeka, Kagome will never be replaced in your heart. Deep down, you know that.
Ayeka: Who drugged you up?!
Harry: Come again?
Ayeka: You're actin' all weird. What HAVE you been doing the past few days?
Harry: I've been watching the most insightful show on television. Dr. Phil. That man's a magician! He's changed my life! I've been spiritually cleansed!
(Kagome practically climbing on Hojo while Inuyasha watches)
Kagome: So, Inuyasha, do you feel any different?
Inuyasha: Well, I do have to take a dookey.
Kagome: O__o
Hojo: O__o
Inuyasha: Where's the little boys room? (walks off)
(Harry and Miroku)
Harry: Yes, Miroku. That's exactly the problem! You're afraid to express your feelings, so you put up a wall of ecchi-ness around you to block all those you care about out. And while this system might work for a while, you should make a door for other walk through this wall. If you do not, you will die a lonely.
Miroku: Wow Harry! What insight! Where did you acquire such knowledge?
Harry: Dr. Phil and Dear Annie know what their talkin' about.
(Kagome, Hojo and Inuyasha sitting in club)
Kagome: Let's dance, Inuyasha!
Inuyasha: Okey-dokey.
Kagome: So, what do you think?
Inuyasha: Of what?
Kagome: Of Hojo! He's been chasing me for practically FOREVER!
Inuyasha: Oh, I think he's a lovely boy! He's nice, well-mannered and polite! I think you should go for it!
(Kagome storms off dance floor)
(Draco and he-she Sasami)
Draco: I'll change you back, but you have to promise me one thing.
Sasami: And what's that?
Draco: To be my hoe.
Sasami: Okay! ANYTHING to get back to my normal self!
(Draco points wand and it goes 'POOF'! Sasami is back to normal)
Draco: Now, you have to hold up your part of the deal.
Sasami: Okay! (start snogging like their retards 'cause they are)
(Sango walks by)
Sango: Okay, that's just downright disturbing.
Stupid ending, but I have other things to do. I may have a chapter for you by the middle of next week, depends on what my schedule is gonna look like. I'm smart in all my classes again except Algebra. Bummer. And the quarter ends next week. I've got some ass-kissing to do. Sayonara for now!!!
Anywayz, I've been really busy this week, I've hardly had time to get on the computer! Except for that stupid poetry project my retard teacher gave us the week of ISAT testing. It's not excuse for me turning into a hypocrite. I sorry! It won't happen again!
Disclaimer: Look, we ALL know that all I own is misery. Happy now?
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Hocus Pocus and Retarded Little Headed Japan-Man
(Inuyasha still slumped on couch)
Kagome: Inuyasha! If you don't get you lazy but off the couch, I'll go kill myself!!!
Inuyasha: See you in the afterlife.
Kagome: INUYASHA! Fine, I never thought I'd have to do this, but I called some people here to pull you out of your slump. C'mon out guys! (Naraku, Sesshoumaru and Kikyou come out) Okay, one of you start talking, now! I can't stand one more day of this.
Kikyou: I'll go first. (walks up to Inuyasha) Inuyashaaaaaa. What's wrong?
Inuyasha: Oh, hi Kikyou. Nothing's wrong with me. How's it going?
Kikyou: Did Kagome do something to you? (tries to smile, but kills a couple of birds perched in the windowsill)
Inuyasha: Oh, nothing's wrong! She just put me on her alcohol deprivation program. It's done miracles.
Kikyou: I see. She's a stupid bitch. Why not come with me to the depths of hell? (voice lowers to scary demonic voice)
Kagome: Excuse me! He's mine!!! (puts her hand in between them just as she's gonna kiss him)
Kikyou: Back off, bitch. You've already seen what affect you've had on him.
Kagome: Back up off my man!!! (attacks Kikyou and they start rolling around on the floor)
Sesshoumaru: Well then. Let's see if I can pull him out of this reverie. (holds out hand) Give me the Tessaiga, NOW!
Inuyasha: Sure, it's in the broom closet right over there. (points to closet near door)
Sesshoumaru: Really? I can have it? (gets all happy-go-lucky) I mean, aren't you gonna say something really smart then yell out an empty and useless threat against my life?
Inuyasha: We're brothers, man. I'd never dream of it.
Sesshoumaru: Well then, since you're so partial to the idea.
Kagome: (pinned to the floor with Kikyou's hands on her neck) OH NO YOU DON'T!!!
Sesshoumaru: Never mind, there's no honor in taking the sword from a broom closet, anyway. I'd rather fight and kill Inuyasha for the sword. I'm out. (zooms out on Ah-Un)
Naraku: Well, of course those two buffoons didn't succeed to get a rise out of you Inuyasha, but I will. For I am Naraku!!! (walks up to Inuyasha) Hey, you stupid piece of hanyou scum.
Inuyasha: 'Sup?
Naraku: Huh? How's about handing over the jewel shards and letting me take over the earth and kill you?! (laughs maniacally) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Inuyasha: Yeah, about that. I think we should just bury the hatchet. Whadda ya' say? But if you really want them, I suppose you can have 'em. I wasn't going to do anything with them but turn into a full demon anyway. No long- term goals or anything, like you.
Naraku: How about you throw in Kagome and we'll call it even?
Inuyasha: Done. Hey Kagome! (Kagome beating Kikyou in the head with a spoon) I sold you and the shards to Naraku. Get packing.
Kagome: WHAT?!?!?! Get OUT Naraku and Kikyou! OUT OUT OUT!!! (they both leave) What were you thinking?
Inuyasha: I don't think I was thinking at all.
Kagome: That's it! I'll make sure you're out of it by the end of this weekend!!!
(Draco and Hermione crouched around corner, spying on Ron and Sasami)
Hermione: That awful wench! I'll show her yet! Are you sure this is a great idea?
Draco: 'Mione, would I ever ever do you wrong? (gets blank stare from Hermione) Don't answer that. Anyway, all you gotta do is do wit' da' wand, and Ron is all yours!
Hermione: Do you happen to get anything out of this?
Draco: A job well done, and if I play my cards right, a new shawty! You know I love 'dem hoes
Hermione: Well, that she is. And you can have once I'm done with her. Not that she'll be very appealing in the end.
Draco: OH, now's your chance! But go easy on her, at least the first time.
Hermione: Oh believe me, I'll make she gets what she has coming for her.
(Sango and Miroku in hot tub)
Sango: Sorry I had to burn your pants, but you were driving me INSANE!
Miroku: I'm actually very thankful. It was just the divine intervention the Lord ordered. I'm very happy to be back to myself.
Sango: I missed the old you!
Miroku: So did I, Sango. So did I!
Sango: (face turns pink) Houshi-sama, why is you're hand on my bleep bleep bleep?
Miroku: That's what it's called? I didn't know that. (Sango pounces him and screen goes black)
C: Kagome
Kagome: I'm so sick of Inuyasha's slacky behavior, but that's okay 'cause I'll fix him up real quick! I called the one person to make him start acting out in a second!
(Hermione poised to cast spell)
Draco: Steady, steady. NOW!
(beam of red light bursts from wand and hits Sasami)
Ron: Sasami! Are you alright? (gasps) What the fbleep?!?!
Sasami: Oh my god! WHAT HAPPENED?! (Hermione and Draco run off LTAO's)
(Kagome and Inuyasha @ airport)
Inuyasha: Why are we here?
Kagome: Because, I'm meeting someone. Now stand up straight!
Inuyasha: But why did I have to come?
Kagome: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO GODAMNIT!!!
Inuyasha: No need to yell. So, who are we waiting for?
Kagome: It's a surprise. And would you stop being so damn nice?! It's unnerving.
Inuyasha: Kagome, you should lighten up. You're so high-strung. Try yoga, works like a charm everytime.
Kagome: Shutup, Inuyasha! There he is. (yells) Hojo! Over here! (little headed Japan-Man walks over)
Hojo: Hey, Kagome! (hugs)
Kagome: Inuyasha, you remember Hojo?
Inuyasha: Meany-senses-tingling. MUST FIGHT. GRRR.
Hojo: Er, hi! Nice ears! *tweak* *tweak*
Inuyasha: *eyeball twitch* Th-th-thanks.
(Miroku and Draco in kitchen)
Draco: It's good to have you back, brotha'. I was seriously starting to worry.
Miroku: Thanks Draco. Say, I'm pretty hungry, whipped up any brownies lately?
Draco: Well, I made some, only I put in a wrong ingredient, and they may taste a lil' funny. But if you want some, you can have 'em.
Miroku: Thanks man!
(Tenchi hiding under the covers)
Ryoko: Oh Teeenchiiiii! Where aaare yooouuuu? I've got something for yoouuu! I bought you a bird!!!! *3 hrs later* It's a very pretty bird!
Tenchi: Oh shit! I gotta go! Well, maybe I can make a mad dash before she gets her claws on me! (silent for two minutes) She's Gone! Finally. (comes out, but Ryoko is standing guard at the door. Holy shit!!
Ryoko: I told you I had a present for you! It's a bird. And here it is!!! (flips him the bird. You know, the 'F'-finger)
Tenchi: Ouch!!
C: Sango Sango: On the bright side, Miroku is no longer driving me insane with his pants. On the dark side, he's driving me insane with his EXTREME PERVERTEDNESS!!!
(Hermione, Ron and Sasa- I'll let you judge that for yourself)
Ron: Sasami!!! You're a man! A big, ugly man.
(Hermione LHAO)
Sasami: (deep bass voice) OH MY GOD!! Hermione! How could you do this?!
Hermione: I- ha ha- had to because- hee ha- you were- haa!- getting-hee- in- ha- the- ha- way! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Sasami: I HATE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!! Let's GO Ron.
Ron: Sorry, dude. I don't date cross-dressers. Plus, if Hermione put the spell I think she put on you, then you're also a transvestite.
(the he-she runs off to blubber somewhere)
Hermione: So, are we on?
Ron: Yeah!
(Draco suddenly appears out of nowhere)
Draco: Pimp-Daddy Weasly! Movin' from one girl to the next! Dude, you my new roll dawg!!
(Harry, Shippou and Ayeka eating @ café)
Harry: I think that I should start bonding with everyone in the house, and that's why I've brought you all to lunch.
Ayeka: O-kay. 0___0
Harry: So, how's everyone doing lately?
Shippou: Good.
Harry: Are you sure? You seem a little disconnected. You do know that it's instinct to say that you're fine, when you could feel like you're dying inside. Express your true feelings.
Shippou: Well, Kagome has been pretty much ignoring me since we came on this show, but Ayeka's starting to fill in that gap. But it's not the same.
Harry: I totally understand! Even though you've found a good friend in Ayeka, Kagome will never be replaced in your heart. Deep down, you know that.
Ayeka: Who drugged you up?!
Harry: Come again?
Ayeka: You're actin' all weird. What HAVE you been doing the past few days?
Harry: I've been watching the most insightful show on television. Dr. Phil. That man's a magician! He's changed my life! I've been spiritually cleansed!
(Kagome practically climbing on Hojo while Inuyasha watches)
Kagome: So, Inuyasha, do you feel any different?
Inuyasha: Well, I do have to take a dookey.
Kagome: O__o
Hojo: O__o
Inuyasha: Where's the little boys room? (walks off)
(Harry and Miroku)
Harry: Yes, Miroku. That's exactly the problem! You're afraid to express your feelings, so you put up a wall of ecchi-ness around you to block all those you care about out. And while this system might work for a while, you should make a door for other walk through this wall. If you do not, you will die a lonely.
Miroku: Wow Harry! What insight! Where did you acquire such knowledge?
Harry: Dr. Phil and Dear Annie know what their talkin' about.
(Kagome, Hojo and Inuyasha sitting in club)
Kagome: Let's dance, Inuyasha!
Inuyasha: Okey-dokey.
Kagome: So, what do you think?
Inuyasha: Of what?
Kagome: Of Hojo! He's been chasing me for practically FOREVER!
Inuyasha: Oh, I think he's a lovely boy! He's nice, well-mannered and polite! I think you should go for it!
(Kagome storms off dance floor)
(Draco and he-she Sasami)
Draco: I'll change you back, but you have to promise me one thing.
Sasami: And what's that?
Draco: To be my hoe.
Sasami: Okay! ANYTHING to get back to my normal self!
(Draco points wand and it goes 'POOF'! Sasami is back to normal)
Draco: Now, you have to hold up your part of the deal.
Sasami: Okay! (start snogging like their retards 'cause they are)
(Sango walks by)
Sango: Okay, that's just downright disturbing.
Stupid ending, but I have other things to do. I may have a chapter for you by the middle of next week, depends on what my schedule is gonna look like. I'm smart in all my classes again except Algebra. Bummer. And the quarter ends next week. I've got some ass-kissing to do. Sayonara for now!!!