Disclaimer: Still don't own LOTR…though have not been trying all that hard of late…
This is a set of diary entries from characters of LOTR. Spoilers to TTT probably, just to warn you.
The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Gimli
Day 1
Joined some Fellowship today. Only did it to annoy elfboy. Very satisfied elfboy angry. We leave on a big long important journey in a few days.
…
Where do those damn elves keep the snack table?
Day 5
On journey. Old man who thinks he knows all is rather annoying. I bet he does not even know what direction we are travelling in. Fellowship comprised of prissy elfboy, four children-like men, two real men (though one is crazy and one has poor hygiene) and the old man who thinks he knows all. This should turn out interesting.
Day 11
Have not written for a long time. We ran into trouble on a mountain, now we are in Moria. Very fun to be home again…though it is eerily quiet. Can't wait to eat something…elven provisions not very filling.
Day 14
Finally out of cave. My cousin is dead…Not sure where the rest of the family is. Just glad to be out. Heading towards a forest now. Non-hygienic man is leading. He is not bad, except for the fact his hair is greasy…and he smells. This should be fun.
Day 17
Forgot to mention we lost the old man. I was not sorry to see him go. Little men were traumatized. Learned they are actually called hobbits. Who knew their kind had a name? Elfboy is still as much of a nuisance as usual…
Day 18
In the forest, ruled by elves. Some strange lady was reading my thoughts today. I bet she was surprised to find me unimpressed. Food was not bad, though I wish there was more meat.
Day 23
Wow! Time just flew past in that weird forest. We are leaving now. For some reason I have a crush on the elven-wench. Rather annoying. Lost the little guys today, now I am with prissy elf and dirty man to try and get them back. Other man met his demise…arrows, three of them…Painful.
Day 27
On the trail of the little guys. Dirty man in lead. Came across another band of men today. The leader was cruel, made fun of my height…or lack of. He gave us horses. Have to share with elf.
Day 32
Old man is back. He has a new outfit. It does not make him look that much younger. Other two were happy to see him. At least the dirty man is not the leader anymore. Going to a kingdom to help an old tired king. I thought it best we leave the poor man alone. But no one listens to the dwarf.
Day 37
Big battle today, it was fun. Got to show off my flying skills. Made the dirty man promise not to tell the elf, who would have surely tormented me. Damn elf beat me at a killing contest…curse my ability to not be able to count past 27! Now we are going to some other place…should be interesting as well.
There you have it! The first chapter! Please review!