After a long break I am back with yet another diary!
The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Legolas
Day 1
Had to attend a council today…We have to take some ugly ring to a huge hole in the ground. The ring was probably the worst thing ever, I mean, I have seen iron look better made as a ring, and we *all* know how tacky that is…Ended up joining the Fellowship…Much to my annoyance, some dwarf came along…How he annoys me!
It was also upsetting that I could only bring one one hundredth of my beauty products…{A/N: Remember that Aragorn said half the baggage was Legolas' products…I mean, how much does he have!?}
Day 9
I am so glad I am an elf! I am able to walk on the snow whilst the other members of my company have to trudge through it! I think that they are all jealous…By the look in the Ranger's eyes, I think he wants to destroy me…
Note to self: Ran out of skin moisturizer, be sure to pick up more.
Day 11
Well, my time to shine has passed as we are now in a cave…It is really…dark…and there is no clean water for me to wash my hair in…Thankfully our leader, Gandalf, promised it will only be about a four day journey to the other side.
Note to Self: Speak to the manager and see about getting a beauty salon somewhere in this dreary place.
Day 14
Sadly, we lost our noble leader Gandalf today…Now that annoying Ranger is leading us…On a more serious note, I broke a nail and lost my file over the bridge…I am not sure how I will live.
Day 16
The ranger has now taken control over our group…I hope he allows time to stop and bathe.
Day 17
We got to Lothlorien today…Galadriel sure is evil. I saw her looking at me with hate in her eyes…I knew it was because she was jealous of my wonderful complexion and my perfect hair.
Day 22
Left that little forest today…Turns out Galadriel is not that bad…We spent many a nights braiding each other's hair and exchanging our little secrets…
That blasted bloke Boromir died today…Can't say I am sorry…Mean more shampoo for me!
Aragorn actually kissed the man…I knew he was gay.
Day 26
The old "wizard" {highly doubting his status} retunred to us today is a white glory…Bloody fool…The show was so cheap I demanded my money back.
Day 28
Stupid fool Aragorn came back today…What a moron, he fell off a cliff for Valar's sake! He looked worse then I do without any make-up on!
Day 29
My elvish ears are shriveled. That is to say Aragorn tried to woo the lady of Rohan today…I still get shivers just thinking about it…For an apparent King, he cannot sing worth…anything! Not even no name shampoo!
Day 31
Big battle today…Cripes, they interrupted my mud bath to tell me we were being attacked…Shot many orcs…Broke another nail…what horrible luck I have.