Author: Kate Anderson
Email: kateanderson@thirdwatch.net
Disclaimer: The characters used aren't mine. They belong to John Wells, Ed Bernero and some other lucky people.
Summary: Kim and Ty clean out Alex's apartment.
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I felt sick as I entered her apartment. It just didn't seem right, you know? I had been over here a few times, but most of the time, she had stayed with me and Carlos. Kim took my hand in hers, wrapping her cold fingers around it. I shivered as the cold crept up and settled at the base of my spine.
The apartment was stuffy, so I moved to crack open a few windows. It smelled like her and I - ridiculously - wanted that smell gone. It didn't seem right that the next occupants should smell her. A cool breeze hit my face as I slid open the window with my free hand.
"You don't have to do this." Kim whispered, her cold hand still holding mine. "I mean, if you can't handle it..."
I shook my head. "No, you need help. I can't let you do this on your own."
Kim let go of my hand and warmth slowly seeped back into it. That cold at the base of my spine was still there though and I had a feeling that it might never leave. She sat down on the couch and picked up the photographs that Alex had sitting on the end table. They were mostly pictures of her family.
Wordlessly, I taped together a box and Kim tossed the photographs in. We would give them to her mother, along with the rest of Alex's personal things. Her clothes would be donated to those less fortunate. Good old Alex, always helping those in need.
I made up a box for myself and took it into the kitchen. Most of her drawers were full of the usual kitchen things; pot holders, spoons, forks, knives. One drawer though had what looked like old birthday cards. Cards with dogs wearing costumes, funny cards, sappy cards. I grabbed them and threw them into the box without reading them.
"I'm going to start on the bedroom." Kim called.
"Okay." I called back. "I'll join you once I'm done out here."
Kim's footsteps sounded hollow as she made her away into Alex's bedroom. I felt sick at the prospect of entering it and allowed myself to linger over the last drawer in her kitchen. The food in the fridge would have to be thrown out, but her canned goods could be donated to the food bank. I decided to leave those for last.
I picked up my box which contained only the cards and slowly walked to Alex's bedroom. A wave of nausea struck me upon entering it. Her bed sheets were rumpled, the covers thrown back and the pillow had an indentation on it. This wasn't right. This wasn't the room of a dead woman.
Kim was kneeling in front of the closet, pulling through a shoebox. I looked at her and watched silently as her small back trembled. I was afraid that if I said something, that everything I was holding back would come tumbling out.
I set my box on the bed and opened the top drawer of Alex's dresser. I tried to ignore her lingerie, tried to forget that I could picture her wearing it as she smiled at me upon entering the room. An all too rare smile that graced her lips as she cheekily removed her robe and stood before me wearing only black lace.
I pushed aside the black lace and came up with a few folded pieces of paper. Women always keep their most important possessions in their underwear drawer. I will never figure that out. I don't keep anything mixed in with mine.
Kim was sniffling quietly now and trying to blow her nose without me hearing. I unfolded the papers and found my own handwriting staring back at me. I couldn't believe that she had kept these.
"Ty?"
I stuffed the papers into my pocket and turned around to look at Kim. Her eyes were rimmed with red but she had stopped crying. "Do you we think should bother keeping this?" she asked, holding up a book that had definitely seen better days.
"Put it in the box." I replied and turned back around again. I dug my hand back into the drawer and came up with another card, this one sitting in an open envelope that had never been sealed. On the front of the blue envelope it simply said, "Mom"
I pulled the card out, nudging away the feeling that I was violating Alex's privacy. It was a mother's day card, one of those not quite sappy but not quite funny ones.
Kim brushed against my arm, looking over it to see what I was holding. "Is that a card for her mom?" she asked quietly.
I nodded. "She must have bought it early."
I opened the card and saw there Alex's gentle curving handwriting. Dear Mom, it said. You should be impressed that I not only remembered to get you a card, but that I actually bought it early! Just wanted to let you know that I love you and that I'm thinking of you. Love Alex.
Kim was sniffling again and I quickly tucked the card back into its envelope. I slipped it into my back pocket, making sure not to ruin the envelope. This wasn't something that Mrs Taylor should find sitting at the bottom of a box, this was something that I needed to give to her.
Two hours later, we were done. The boxes were taped and stacked neatly beside the door. Kim jammed her hands into her pockets and looked around. "I can't believe that she's actually gone, you know?"
I nodded. "Hard to believe."
Kim drew in a shaking breath and steadied herself. "What happened with Bobby...I just want to let you know, it's not going to happen again."
I found myself pulling Kim towards me and wrapping my arms around her slender body. I just held her as she began to cry again and I let her cry until she pulled away, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Come on, let's get these boxes over to Beth."
Kim grabbed two boxes that were probably too much for her to handle, but I didn't say anything. I picked up two as well and carried them down to the car. A few more trips later, we were both standing with the last of the boxes in our arms.
"Bye Alex." Kim whispered as I closed the door and turned the key in the lock.
In my mind, I echoed Kim's sentiment and together, we left the building.
"I really appreciate the two of you doing that for me." Beth Taylor said as she watched Kim and I unload the boxes from the car. "I just don't know if I could have handled it without falling to pieces."
Kim offered Beth a sincere smile. "It was no trouble." she said. "If you need us to do anything else, just ask."
"Alex was lucky to have friends like you."
Lucky. I never would have described Alex as lucky. She'd had more than her fair share of bad luck. Kim was scuffing her shoes in the dirt, looking more like a lost little girl than anything. "Well," I said. "That's it for the boxes."
Beth smiled at us. "Did you want to come in for something to drink?"
I shook my head. "No, we really have to be getting back. We're working tonight."
"Oh."
"We could come back another time, maybe." Kim piped up. "If you'd like."
Beth nodded. "That would be nice. You could tell me more about Alex. There's so much that I never knew about her."
There was so much that none of us never knew about Alex. "There's one other thing that I think you should have." I said softly and pulled the envelope from my back pocket. "I found this in Alex's dresser."
Beth took the envelope from me and stared at the front of it for a while before pulling the card out. A look of disbelief crossed over her face. "I can't believe she actually remembered..." she whispered.
Kim had gotten into the car and was waiting for me. I patted Beth's shoulder, noticing the tears that were forming in her eyes as she held her daughter's card. "We're leaving now. You take care of yourself."
Beth looked up at me. "Thank you, for bringing this to me."
"No problem." I replied and headed for the car. As I sat down in front of the steering wheel, I look across and through the window. Beth was still holding the card. She hadn't even opened it yet.