All My Life
*~* Boys and Girls *~*
** Things I'll Never Say **
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I wanna blow you… away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you to tight
If I could say what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down… on one knee
Marry me today
Yes I'm wishing my life away
On these things I'll never say
It don't do me any good
Its just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you I care
(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I wanna blow you… away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you to tight
If I could say what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down… on one knee
Marry me today
Yes I'm wishing my life away
On these things I'll never say
What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say
(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
Yes I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I wanna blow you… away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you to tight
If I could say what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down… on one knee
Marry me today
Yes I'm wishing my life awayWith these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say
~Avril Lavigne~
After a few weeks of trying to get Ava and James back, Lily and Sirius developed one last plan.
"Ok, are you ready?" Sirius asked Lily.
"Yeah I think so, what am I doing again?" she asked him for the 8th time.
"You are gonna go try and talk to James, flirt a little, and separate him from Ava. Then I will go get Ava."
"Are you sure I can? Am I pretty enough? Maybe I should go change…"
Sirius intercepted her as she started up the stairs, "Lily, you know you're pretty enough! Now just go sit by James, I will sit by Ava and try to engage them in SEPARATE conversations. Lets go."
Lily and Sirius were both looking hot, as they walked up to the couch where James and Ava were studying.
"Hey James!" Lily said as she sat down, right next to him.
"Oh," he said as he looked up, "Hello Lily. How are you?"
"Well, I'm better now that I'm with you. What have you been up to? We haven't talked in a long time." She said, flashing her sexiest smile.
"Yeah I know." He said and then looked down at his Transfiguration book.
"So Ava, how you doin?" Sirius said smiling at her.
"I'm fine," she said, looking at Sirius in a strange way, "how are you?"
"I'm better now that I'm next to you baby," he said, grinning his legendary grin.
"Oh." She looked down at her book and then back at Sirius.
"James," she said, tapping him on the shoulder, "wanna go to the library where we can get our transfiguration done?"
"Yeah, lets go." He said getting up, and totally ignoring Lily.
"James?" Lily said, throwing up her hands.
"Oh, Lily, I will just see you around or something." He said while walking towards the portrait hole with his arm around Ava.
Lily looked at Sirius with her mouth open, it looked as if she was mimicking his look.
"What just happened here?" Sirius asked Lily, still mystified.
"I, I think we just got dumped!" Lily answered.
"Correction!" Remus said leaning over the couch right between the two. "To get dumped, you actually have to be going out. To go out, you actually have to ask and the other person accept. But! You two, got blown off before you even got past 'Hey how are you?' I never thought I'd see the day…" He mused, his voice fading off as he walked up to the second year boy dorms.
"You know what this means don't you?" Sirius asked Lily, who was still baffled by the idea that she, Lily Evans, got blown off.
"What?"
"Time for plan B."
"Did we have a plan B?"
"Well, actually no, but I just made it up. You see we will tail them and see where they end up!" He answered, his tone sounded very proud of his 'brilliant' plan.
"What would that accomplish?"
"Uh. Well, nothing actually, but have you got any other ideas?"
Lily thought for a second, "Lets go!"
As they ran through out the castle, trying to get to the library as quick as they can, they stopped to rest at a statue that was right by the entrance to the library. As they were catching their breaths, Ava and James walked into the library.
"Lets go!" Lily whispered as she conducted Sirius into the library.
Sirius and Lily followed them into a secluded table towards the very back of the library. As Ava and James sat, Lily flipped through random books that were stationed at the shelf opposite them.
"This is getting REALLY boring, Lily!" Sirius whined.
"Shhh! They're talking!" Lily said pointing towards Ava and James.
Just as Sirius looked up, Ava and James leaned towards each other and kissed. Passionately. Sirius felt his insides boil, as he glanced at Lily. The look in her eyes was no longer jealousy, but sadness and longing. She dropped the book she was holding and let it fall to the ground. The crash broke apart James and Ava, and Sirius picked Lily up and ran out of the library, because she couldn't move.
"What was that?" Ava asked as her and James broke apart.
"I don't know," he answered looking around, but he found nothing.
The two then turned their gazes toward each other and just stared for a while.
"Did you feel anything when we kissed?" James asked Ava.
"About as much as when my grandma kisses me on my cheek."
"So nothing at all?"
"Nothing."
"Good!" James said leaning back. "Me neither."
"To tell you the truth James, I kind of miss our other friends. I mean, we have totally blown them off since the beginning of school, and its gonna be Christmas soon. I really miss talking to all of them."
"You took the words right out of my mouth."
"Do you wanna go back now? Salvage some friendships if it's possible?"
"Best idea I've heard in quite a while."
"Lets go." Ava said, grabbing his arm and walking with him to the common room.
As they walked in the common room, laughing and being loud like they used to be, they noticed Remus was the only one in the common room, and he was sitting on the couch reading the Daily Prophet.
"Hey Remus my boy! How're you doing?" James said cheerily.
No answer.
"Remus, how are you?" Ava asked in her nicest voice.
No answer.
James reached out and grabbed the paper and said, "Hullo? Remus?"
Remus snatched the paper back and began to read again. He then casually looked up at the two standing over him.
"Oh, are you talking to me?"
"Yeah, what other Remus would you happen to know? So what's up?" James asked.
"Hey, well how about I ignore you for, lets say, a few months and then lets just pick up where we left off? Hmm? How would that work?"
"I guess we deserve that," Ava said.
"You guess you deserve that? What the hell gives to the right to totally drop your so-called best friends, and then just pick them back up? We are not your puppets, so treat us like actual human beings." He said, inches away from their faces.
"Look Remus, you don't know how it is to have a hard life, I mean how people cope with things is different for every person." Ava said to him.
"Say that again."
"What?"
"Say it again that I don't know how it is to have a hard life."
Ava just looked at James, but he didn't know what to say.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Just leave me and my friends alone."
"Remus! What is this about?" James said following after his friend.
"And," Remus said as he spun around, "one more thing. What did you do to Lily and Sirius."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sirius came in here minute or two before you. He was carrying Lily, put her in her room, and mumbled something about the library and a dropped book? I don't know he wasn't making any sense. Then Elle had to go up to Lily's dorm because I think she was blowing something up. Then you walked in." He turned around and walked up to the boy's dorms.
James and Ava looked at each other for a minute when Elle came down.
"Elle!" Ava yelled across to her, as James and her made their way over there.
"Oh, hi." She said, as she grabbed some stuff and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Ava said as she grabbed Elle's arm to keep her from running off again.
"What?"
"What is Remus's problem? He starts yelling at us for everything, saying that we shouldn't be mad or something and then he was talking about how we don't know what a hard life is…"
"You know," Remus said from behind them, "I was coming down here to apologize for being harsh, but, now I just don't want to."
"Well Remus, my brother died, and you were yelling at me as if it was nothing."
"You know Ava, just shut your mouth until you know other peoples story." Remus said shaking his head. At this time, James and Elle were just watching the other two argue.
"What? Did your mum ground you once when you were five?"
"First of all, my mum wasn't around when I was five. She died before then." Ava stepped back, but Remus stepped forward. "And second of all, your brother was lucky. I would trade his 17 years for my whole life."
"How is being murdered LUCKY?" Ava screeched.
"At least he was NORMAL!"
"Your just as normal as the rest of us!"
"I am not just like the rest of you. Not even close. I'm a monster, and I would give anything to be like the rest of you." He said, an inch a way from her face.
"I don't get you Remus I mean…"
"I'm a werewolf Ava." He said, cutting her off.
Elle dropped the book she was holding, and James stood there, wide-eyed. Ava was at a loss for words.
Elle went up to Remus and stood right in front of him.
"I'm sorry Elle, I mean, I wanted to tell you, but… I didn't think you'd like me…" He tried to explain, but was cut off by Elle. Well actually her lips, but hey, tomato tomahto.
"Remus," she said looking at him, "I would like you even if you were a Giant, Werewolf, Vampire combination and looked like James."
"Hey!" James said.
"I'm just kidding but, Remus, I still like you, no matter what." She said, as he gave her a huge hug, and whispered thanks into her ear.
"Hey Remus," James said, "Your still one of my best friends no matter what, and I can understand why you didn't say anything sooner."
"Thanks James."
Ava went towards Remus and gave him a hug. When she looked up at him, he noticed she was crying.
"You ok Ava?"
"Yeah, just a little emotional right now, I'm sorry for being mean. I really am."
"Yeah I'm sorry to Ava. Friends? All of you?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," they all said.
"Hey, but really, what did you guys do to Lily and Sirius?" Remus asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about! Honestly." James said shaking his head.
"I do!" Elle said.
"Ok, out with it then," Ava said.
"Well, you know how they have both been trying to talk to you and everything? Well, that's because they are both madly in love with you. Lily has liked James since summer, and Sirius has liked Ava since, oh I dunno, 1842." Elle took a breath. "Well, see they really like you, but both of you were really unreceptive and kinda mean towards them, but, they wouldn't give up. So they followed you to the library, for something to do I guess. And then they saw you kiss."
"You kissed?" Remus's eyebrows rose.
"Yeah, well it didn't mean anything, it was like kissing my cousin!" James said pointing to Ava.
"Yeah!" she agreed.
"Well, Lily is heart broken, and sort of, redecorated our room…"
"Ahh," Remus nodded, "the explosion."
"Yeah, and Sirius was so mad that he kind of, punched a hole in the wall…"
"Uh oh." James said as his eyes widened.
"Yeah," Elle nodded.
"I need to go talk to Lily!" Ava said as she ran up stairs.
"I think I will sleep out here tonight." James said, looking at the couch.
"Probably a good idea. Night James. Night Elle." Remus said and started at the stairs, but Elle spun him around and gave him a good night kiss.
"Night Remus." She said smiling.
"Lily?" Ava said as she entered the room.
"What do you want."
"I just wanted to apologize! I'm really sorry for not being your friend, and blowing you off. And I'm sorry that I kissed James, I honestly didn't know you liked him."
"Of course you didn't know, you haven't talked to me in months!"
"And I'm really sorry! I just, didn't know how to cope with Rhyce's death, and James was the only one I thought could know what I was going through. But now that I think about it, I could have talked to you, because you have troubles with your family, and with Remus being a werewolf and all, he could have helped, and" Ava said, but was interrupted.
"Remus is a werewolf?"
"Oh, probably shouldn't have said that."
"I thought so! Always gone on the full moon, and he always…"
"Lily! Can we be best friends again? I miss you so much! Please forgive me!"
"Well, since you've been so darn persuasive, I just don't know how I could say…"
"Thank you!" Ava said as she threw herself on Lily for a bone-crushing hug.
"Sirius!" James yelled from the air above the quidditch pitch.
Whoosh.
"Whoa, Sirius, watch it with those…"
Whoosh.
"Bludgers! Bloody hell Sirius, you could kill someone with those…"
Whack.
"Bludgers!" James finished, his voice now falsetto. The bludger hit him right where it counts, almost snapping his broom in half.
"Whoa, Jamie, sorry about that one!" Sirius yelled laughing.
"S'ok." James said, hurtling towards the ground. He pulled out just in time and stepped off his broom.
"So Sirius? I take it your still mad at me about the kiss?" James finished just as a bludger came pelting out of the sky towards his head.
"I'll take that as a yes……"
"Actually, I think I'm over it. Plus, she likes me anyways, so it doesn't really matter."
"Oh she does, does she?"
"Yup. We're going out."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes I am, and no I am not joking." Sirius grinned. "Here comes Lily and Remus! Oy! Remus! Lily! Over here!" He waved to them.
"What are you doing?" James whispered to Sirius.
"What you don't like Lily?" Sirius asked back.
"No, I like her a lot,"
"Oh you do now, do you?"
"Hey guys!" Lily said as she ran over to them.
"Hey Lil! My friend James here was just telling me that he likes you alo…"
"Sirius!"
"What?"
"I'd like to take this broom and shove it up your…"
"James! There are children present!" Remus said shaking his head as he walked up to them.
"No there aren't." Lily said, looking around.
"Well Sirius is like a child." James said, looking his friend up and down.
"I'll take that to mean that I have a child like innocence." Sirius said, looking smug.
"No," James said shaking his head.
"Precious like a child?"
"No, more like you have the mental capacity of a child." James retorted.
"I resent that. Do you have proof of such an accusation?" Sirius asked, straitening his pretend tie.
"What's you favorite book?" James asked.
"Fallen Underwear, written by the brilliant Lucy Lastic."
"I rest my case." James said rolling his eyes.
"Your such an ass, Sirius." Lily said laughing.
"I personally think a donkey is a noble beast, and am proud to be compared to an animal of its nobility." Sirius said, walking ahead of the others to the castle.
"Well, at least we can get a laugh out of him." Remus said, shrugging his shoulders.
A few weeks later, the six were as close as ever, and were spending all there time together.
"Lily! Slow down!" James said as he ran to catch up with her.
"James, were gonna be late for charms! Hurry up!"
"I need to ask you something, Lily." He said, coming up to her.
"Ask away, Mr. Potter."
"Do you think you would, um, want to be my, uh, girlfriend?" James said, fidgeting around a bit.
She thought for a minute. "I'm sorry James, I can't, I just don't like you, in that way." She said quickly, before running off to charms.
James just stood there, taken aback, until he realized that he would be late for class.
James,
So did she say yes?
Sirius.
Sirius,
Nope, turned me down.
James.
James,
Are you serious?
Sirius
Sirius
No you are.
James
Dude, that's getting old. Sorry about the Lily thing though.
Sirius
Yeah, me too, but I'll get over it.
James
Quidditch against Slytherin today! Woo hoo, were gonna kick some ass!
Sirius the best beater ever.
Yeah we are, go Gryffindor!
James the sexiest seeker ever.
"And we are 20 minutes into the 3rd quidditch match of the season, and the score is 40-10, Gryffindor in the lead!" the announcer bellowed.
James was 100 feet above the quidditch pitch, squinting to see a glimpse of the snitch. But he had no chance. It all happened so fast…
"James!" Sirius screamed as Brock, the beater from the Slytherin team hurled a bludger straight at James. But he couldn't figure out what Sirius was saying. He turned around, and then, everything was black.
"Oh my God!" Lily screamed as James was knocked off his broom and fell to the earth. He hit the ground and didn't move. The rest of the players all touched down but Sirius went after Brock. With his broom, Sirius hit him over and over, until his broom snapped over Brock's head.
"Mr. Black! Mr. Black!" McGonagall said as she ran towards the huddle.
"You killed him! You killed him!" Sirius said as he used his fists and start pummeling the other teams beater.
"Knock his bloody brains out, Sirius!" Ava yelled as she ran to James's side.
"Someone get Poppy! Hurry! We don't have much time!" McGonagall yelled.
Lily felt sick as she heard McGonagall's plea. They didn't have much time?
"Ok everyone, back to your common rooms. Now!" Dumbledore said as he walked on the field.
"Black, Evans, Lupin, Graham and Jacobs. Stay here." McGonagall said as she helped Poppy with the stretcher.
"How long have we been waiting?" Sirius asked as he looked around.
"Children?" Nurse Pomfrey said as she walked into the waiting room, "one of you can come see him now."
The friends looked at each other as Madam Pomfrey waited.
"Can I?" Lily said, standing up, as they all nodded. Lily had tears running down her face and her hands were shaking as she pushed aside James' curtain.
"Oh my Lord." She whispered. His face was puffy and scratched and bruised. He looked terrible.
"James?" Lily said quietly.
"Mmm?" he answered, opening his eyes a little.
"It's me, Lily." She said back.
"I know," he said softly.
She kneeled beside his bed and grabbed his hand.
"I'm so sorry!" she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry! I really did want to be you girlfriend though, just to let you know, but I was scared! I was scared that you would not like me, and go kiss someone else. I thought I was going to die when I saw you kiss Ava!" she cried harder, "and I really like you and…"
"Then will you be my girlfriend?" he said as he smiled.
"I would love to be," she said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Good." He said.
"Are you in a lot of pain?" She asked, stroking his hand.
No answer.
"James?" She inquired, looking into his eyes, but they were closed.
And there was still no answer.
Lily let go of James's hand and looked around the Infirmary for Madam Pomfrey.
"Nurse?" she said as she came up from behind her.
"Yes?"
"I think there is something wrong! James, he's not talking!"
"I'm sure it's nothing," she said as she walked over to him, and began to check him over, "Oh my Lord!"
"What?" Lily asked, unsure of what to think.
"Go get Albus, hurry!" She said, with a worried tone.
"Why?" Lily asked, confused.
"Because this boy has just gone into a coma!"
Lily tore out of the Hospital Wing and went to look for the head master.
"Dumbledore!" Lily screamed as she ran towards him.
"What is it Miss Evans?" he asked calmly.
"Madam Pomfrey told me to get you. She said that James has gone into a coma!"
"Oh my," Dumbledore said as he forgot what he was doing and ran towards the hospital wing.
"Hey Lils, where are you going?" Sirius asked to Lily's retreating back.
"To visit James," she answered.
It was now Christmas break, and all of the friends decided to stay, seeing as though James was still in a coma. Lily visited him the most, though, because she said it was her duty, as his girlfriend.
"The guy has been in a coma for almost a month, and more people have gone to visit him that anyone has ever come to visit me in my whole life! Unbelievable!" Sirius said, shaking his head. Ava laughed as she screamed, "Checkmate!"
Lily was walking through the corridor on the way to the Hospital Wing, for her daily morning visit with James.
"Lily," someone said from behind her, "where are you going?"
She turned around and saw Snape standing there.
"To the hospital wing to visit James. Why?"
"Oh my God, you didn't hear, did you?" He asked, coming towards her.
"Hear what?"
"James's condition took a turn for the worst last night. He died in his coma early this morning. I'm sorry Lily, I really am. I can't even believe that James is dead. I'm sorry." He said, and then walked off, shaking his head.
Dead.
Chapter 10, 'The Funeral,' should be out soon.