Prelude
by Rei_Lohano
email: psychobunny_says_wee@hotmail.com
Time Frame: After End of Evangelion.
WARNING: Contains yuri and shoujo ai content.
*Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters. They belong to GainaX. I am just borrowing them for the purpose of representing my funny little imagination. ^_^ Not a crime. Any questions, comments, or death threats are to be mailed to psychobunny_says_wee@hotmail.com
This fanfic does contain some violence and yuri situations. If this bothers you, then please don't read this! You've been warned.
Each chapter contains different character's experinces on the same event. So that way, you get to see what happens under different points of view. Please read on to see what I'm talking about .
Now, on to the story! *Poses dramtically and falls over*
~*~
Prologue
- - -
"What a disgusting feeling." The words echoed through Shinji's mind. He was laying in the sand, at the shore of a bloodstained sea. A figure lay next to him, clad in a red plug suit. Asuka. The once feisty redhead now lay still after Ikari had tried to strangle her. Her eyes stared blankly up at a star-filled sky, breathing shallowly. Shinji Ikari wished that everything would go away. He wished to be dead. He closed his eyes and was assaulted by an onslaught of images and voices.
"Why do you run away?" Ayanami.
"Just go." Father.
"Hey Shinji, from now on, you're on your own. You have to make decisions by yourself. No one can help you." Misato.
"You idiot! You can't do anything right!" Asuka.
"If you stay here and do nothing, I won't forgive you. I'll NEVER forgive you!" Misato.
"No, no, no, no." Shinji repeated over and over. His eyes moved back and forth underneath his closed eyelids. "No! NO! NO!"
Then, one more voice.
"In other words, I like you." Kaoru.
No one has ever told me that, thought Shinji. But Kaoru had been the only one who had cared. Shinji had killed Kaoru. I don't deserve to live, he thought bitterly. I hate myself. But then....people could like me. Maybe I could learn to like myself. I hope its not too late to do what Misato-san asked of me.
"Congratulations." Shinji opened his eyes. He was no longer laying on the shore, next to Asuka's worn body. It had been a dream, he realized. I didn't really strangle her, he thought, relived. Standing before him was a whole crowd of people he knew. And they were clapping.
"Congratulations," they all repeated. They were clapping for him! Shinji looked around in amazement and saw his father standing there, with a proud look on his face. My father, he's proud of me, thought Shinji. Beside him, stood Yui, the one whom Ayanami had received her appearance. His mother.
"Mother, Father, Misato-san, Rei, Asuka, Dr. Akagi..." Shinji's voice trailed off. Tears filled his eyes, but they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. They never had hated him. They were nice to him because they really did care for him. But since he had hated himself, no on had respect for him.
"Ikari." Shinji looked up, and saw Ayanami floating over him. "Ikari. Now do you see? You have control over your world. You create everything by yourself. Do you want to become one with everyone else? Or do you want everyone to be separate, individual, with their own hopes, dreams, and fears? Only you can change it Shinji."
Shinji looked at the crowd again. They had all blended into one organism, various body parts vanishing and blending into one mass of moving flesh. Eyes opened in various places, all watching him.
"I-I want us to be separate. I want to feel emotions, to find happiness. This isn't what I wanted," Shinji replied.
"You know that it will hurt again, right Shinji-Kun?" Shinji blinked. That was the first time Ayanami had ever called him anything except Ikari.
"It's allright. I know that it will hurt, there will still be fear. But how can we find happiness if there aren't any obsticals in our way? I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away." Shinji repeated, determined now. The forms of his fellow peers, family, and NERV staff slowly separated. They all stood there, smiling at him. These forms are how Shinji perceived each person in his mind. He looked up at Ayanami once more.
"As you wish," she said, and everything faded into the dark.
***
Please review and tell me what you guys think! Any postivie feedback will help me out with the next chapter. Arigato! ^_^
by Rei_Lohano
email: psychobunny_says_wee@hotmail.com
Time Frame: After End of Evangelion.
WARNING: Contains yuri and shoujo ai content.
*Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters. They belong to GainaX. I am just borrowing them for the purpose of representing my funny little imagination. ^_^ Not a crime. Any questions, comments, or death threats are to be mailed to psychobunny_says_wee@hotmail.com
This fanfic does contain some violence and yuri situations. If this bothers you, then please don't read this! You've been warned.
Each chapter contains different character's experinces on the same event. So that way, you get to see what happens under different points of view. Please read on to see what I'm talking about .
Now, on to the story! *Poses dramtically and falls over*
~*~
Prologue
- - -
"What a disgusting feeling." The words echoed through Shinji's mind. He was laying in the sand, at the shore of a bloodstained sea. A figure lay next to him, clad in a red plug suit. Asuka. The once feisty redhead now lay still after Ikari had tried to strangle her. Her eyes stared blankly up at a star-filled sky, breathing shallowly. Shinji Ikari wished that everything would go away. He wished to be dead. He closed his eyes and was assaulted by an onslaught of images and voices.
"Why do you run away?" Ayanami.
"Just go." Father.
"Hey Shinji, from now on, you're on your own. You have to make decisions by yourself. No one can help you." Misato.
"You idiot! You can't do anything right!" Asuka.
"If you stay here and do nothing, I won't forgive you. I'll NEVER forgive you!" Misato.
"No, no, no, no." Shinji repeated over and over. His eyes moved back and forth underneath his closed eyelids. "No! NO! NO!"
Then, one more voice.
"In other words, I like you." Kaoru.
No one has ever told me that, thought Shinji. But Kaoru had been the only one who had cared. Shinji had killed Kaoru. I don't deserve to live, he thought bitterly. I hate myself. But then....people could like me. Maybe I could learn to like myself. I hope its not too late to do what Misato-san asked of me.
"Congratulations." Shinji opened his eyes. He was no longer laying on the shore, next to Asuka's worn body. It had been a dream, he realized. I didn't really strangle her, he thought, relived. Standing before him was a whole crowd of people he knew. And they were clapping.
"Congratulations," they all repeated. They were clapping for him! Shinji looked around in amazement and saw his father standing there, with a proud look on his face. My father, he's proud of me, thought Shinji. Beside him, stood Yui, the one whom Ayanami had received her appearance. His mother.
"Mother, Father, Misato-san, Rei, Asuka, Dr. Akagi..." Shinji's voice trailed off. Tears filled his eyes, but they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. They never had hated him. They were nice to him because they really did care for him. But since he had hated himself, no on had respect for him.
"Ikari." Shinji looked up, and saw Ayanami floating over him. "Ikari. Now do you see? You have control over your world. You create everything by yourself. Do you want to become one with everyone else? Or do you want everyone to be separate, individual, with their own hopes, dreams, and fears? Only you can change it Shinji."
Shinji looked at the crowd again. They had all blended into one organism, various body parts vanishing and blending into one mass of moving flesh. Eyes opened in various places, all watching him.
"I-I want us to be separate. I want to feel emotions, to find happiness. This isn't what I wanted," Shinji replied.
"You know that it will hurt again, right Shinji-Kun?" Shinji blinked. That was the first time Ayanami had ever called him anything except Ikari.
"It's allright. I know that it will hurt, there will still be fear. But how can we find happiness if there aren't any obsticals in our way? I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away." Shinji repeated, determined now. The forms of his fellow peers, family, and NERV staff slowly separated. They all stood there, smiling at him. These forms are how Shinji perceived each person in his mind. He looked up at Ayanami once more.
"As you wish," she said, and everything faded into the dark.
***
Please review and tell me what you guys think! Any postivie feedback will help me out with the next chapter. Arigato! ^_^