A Tale of Two Shippos
by ArtikGato
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from Inuyasha, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which fled to Jamaica about the time that Term Paper was assigned...
Chapter One of A Tale of Two Shippos introduced the main characters of the Inuyasha anime, in their altered or normal states. Which was up to the author's discretion. Inuyasha and Miroku had complete 180 degree turns on their personalities, Kagome was acting a BIT weird, Shippo was acting usual, I suppose, and Sango was being Sangoish since I haven't seen her in the dub yet. What will happen to them this time? And what sinister plot does Sesshomaru have cooked up for Kagome and Shippo? And why the heck am I talking like the narrator from Digimon 01? You MIGHT find out in this chapter!!
A Tale of Two Shippos...chapter TWO!!!
"Let's set up camp now!" Inuyasha exclaimed. It was about two-o-clock in the afternoon, a couple of microseconds after they crossed the bridge. Plus, they were in the middle of a wide open field, with no trees in sight and grass that was taller than Inuyasha. Why they were there, nobody knows. (not even ME!!). Everyone looked at him, puzzled, but decided to humor him. So, they stopped to set up camp. Inuyasha unsheathed his sword and powered it up in a spectacular scene with a really colorful background, and slashed a circle in the grass while screaming 'TETSUSAIGA!!!' He plopped down on the ground in an arbitrary spot. Miroku tried, in vain, to sit next to Inuyasha, but Kagome and Shippo beat him to it. Sango sat down across from him, and Miroku sat next to her with a defeated sigh. Everyone looked expectantly at Inuyasha. He just sat between Kagome and Shippo with a gleeful look on his face, twiddling his thumbs.
On a hill nearby, Sesshomaru and Jakan stood, looking down at the group. There was a solitary black cloud in the sky, and it hovered above them.
"What do we do now, Lord Sesshomaru?" Jakan asked. Sesshomaru glared at him.
"What did I tell you?" he growled.
"Umm...I mean, Sessho-kun," Jakan quickly corrected himself.
"That's better. Now then, I want you to take this, "Sesshomaru started, producing a plate of cookies from thin air, "and give them to Kagome and Shippo. If anyone else tries to take them, burn them to a crisp. Got it?" Sesshomaru instructed his stupid froggish minion.
"Aye, Sessho-kun," Jakan said, writing down the last bit of instruction down on a piece of paper.
"Good. Now...GO!!!" Sesshomaru bellowed, handing Jakan the plate of cookies, which was infinitely bigger than the frog, and so caused him to have to hold his stupid head staff in his mouth and the plate of cookies above his head. Having accomplished that, Jakan scurried off toward the five campers, a chunk of the black cloud breaking off and hovering above him.
The troupe of five sat in the circle of cut grass. Inuyasha was thinking about how funny it would be to see Japanese-speaking aliens. Kagome was counting the shards of the Shikon jewel that she had while humming 'Under the Sea'. Shippo was holding his stomach thinking about cookies and cakes and cupcakes and... Miroku was staring at Inuyasha, incredibly spaced out. Sango was being Sangoish. Jakan scurried up, and burst through the circle of grass and into the center of the circle of people. Everyone but Miroku jumped up in alarm.
"It's Jakan!" Kagome exclaimed.
"Sesshomaru's minion! That must mean that my dear brother is nearby!" Inuyasha inferred. Sango glared at Jakan Sangoishly. Shippo saw that Jakan was holding a plate of cookies. His stomach growled and his mouth watered.
"Coooooooooooooookies!" he said, in a zombie-like state. Miroku finally stood up. Jakan looked around at them, and spat his stupid headstaff out of his mouth.
"I bring cookies from Lord Sesshomaru!" Jakan announced. The loud sound of someone clearing their throat came from nearby.
"Er...I mean, Lord Sessho-Kun!" Jakan corrected himself.
"Why would Sesshomaru want to give us cookies?" Kagome questioned.
"Could my dear brother be trying to poison us?" Inuyasha pondered.
"COOKIES!!" Shippo screeched, and jumped at Jakan, grabbing the plate of cookies out of his hand. He began to gulp down the cookies at a rate previously unheard of to man.
"Hey, let ME have some!" Kagome exclaimed, and grabbed a few from the plate before Shippo could inhale them.
"Geez, you'd think that there was a wind tunnel in his stomach!" Miroku said.
"Umm...are those cookies safe?" Sango asked, Sangoishly.
"Well, Shippo hasn't died from eating them yet," Inuyasha said. Jakan got up from being knocked down by Shippo.
"ARGH! You're not supposed to do that!!" Jakan yelled.
"Pst! Introduce me!" came a whisper from the bushes.
"Huh? Oh! And now is the most illustrious Lord Sesshom--uh--kun!" Jakan yelled. Sesshomaru burst from the bushes (or was it grass?!) and landed conveniently next to Miroku. He was randomly wearing a sombrero. Miroku jumped back away from him.
"Dear brother!" Inuyasha exclaimed gleefully.
"Inuyasha! It has been a long time!" Sesshomaru exclaimed.
"Too long!" Inuyasha replied, rejoicing.
"I only get to see you at the holidays any more!" Sesshomaru exclaimed, as they hugged.
"This is incredibly demented," commented Kagome, as she munched on a cookie.
"I don't care, he makes GREAT cookies!" Shippo said, as he finished off his immensely huge portion of the cookies.
"You really think so??" Sesshomaru cried in joy. Sango was sangoish. Miroku stared at Sesshomaru. Then he suddenly got his 'crazed fanboy' look again.
"Inuyasha's brother is even better looking than he is! Oh me oh my!" Miroku thought, as 'Joy to the World' sang in his head. A solitary figure crouched in the grass nearby holding that same boom box, only with 'Joy to the World' playing. The figure snickered, and darted off again. Sesshomaru squeed for no reason.
"Well, we must depart, dear brother," Sesshomaru said. He turned to Kagome and randomly produced a rose from thin air.
"M'lady," he said, handing her the rose. She looked at him skeptically, and took the rose carefully as if it was going to come alive and devour her. (note: isnt' 'devour' such an evil word? Wahahahahaha!!). Sesshomaru then turned to Shippo, and made a seven-layer chocolate-fudge-vanilla cake shaped like Taiwan appear.
"Here you go, little one!" he said, and handed the cake to Shippo. The problem with that was the cake was incredibly huge, and poor Shippo was incredibly small. Shippo solved the problem by devouring the entire gigantic cake in a matter of seconds. Sesshomaru turned to Miroku and Sango. Miroku looked expectantly at Sesshomaru in his crazed fanboy state.
"I want a rose too!!!" Miroku thought.
"Goodbye for now!" Sesshomaru said, and he and Jakan frolicked off through the grass, the black cloud following above them like an obedient servant. Miroku facefaulted.