A Tale of Two Shippos
by ArtikGato
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from Inuyasha, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which fled to Jamaica about the time that Term Paper was assigned...
Chapter Two of A Tale of Two Shippos told of how the Troupe set up camp, and PART of Sesshomaru's sinister plan was discovered. His motives were not revealed, but his methods—giving Shippo and Kagome food and flowers—were revealed. What in the world is going on? Why does Jakan carry that stupid headstaff around? What in the world possessed me to write this junk? You MIGHT find out in this chapter!!!
A Tale of Two Shippos...chapter THREE!!!
"Sesshomaru is so cool!!!" Shippo said, again, for the 100 millionth time.
"Stop SAYING that!! We KNOW!!!" shouted Inuyasha irately. Kagome suddenly sighed and took out the rose that Sessomaru had given her (for your information it was silverish-white). The background behind her turned into swirly pastel colors and sparkly things floated around her.
"Sesshomaru is so ho---erm, cool!!" she exclaimed, and sighed dramatically again. Shippo stared at the pretty background which seemed to only surround Kagome, and he fell down dizzy. Inuyasha ran around her, frantically trying to catch one of the sparkly things. Sango just stood there, beating her head repeatedly against a tree Sangoishly. Miroku sighed, and the background behind him turned into a duplicate of Kagome's. However, his background turned into fire halfway through the whole ordeal, and all of the sparkly things started to attack him! Wahahahaha!!
"Can we go now?" Sango requested, Sangoishly.
"Okay!!" everyone but Miroku sang. Kagome's background disappeared, along with the sparkly things, to Inuyasha's dismay. Miroku frantically tried to destroy the sparkly things attacking him while putting out his robe-ish thing which was on fire. He finally sucked his background and pretty much everything but the rest of the Troupe into his 'wind tunnel'. Having accomplished that, Miroku caught up to the rest of the Troupe, who were now skipping merrily down the road. Kagome suddenly stopped in her tracks and looked in one random direction. Three figures in the grass nearby snickered. One held two massive poster boards painted with swirly pastel colors, one being on fire, one held onto a bunch of strings with sparkly things on the end of them, and the other held a blowtorch. They giggled and pranced away.
"I'm sensing a lot of shards of the Shikon Jewel nearby!!" she said, clapping her hands.
"Squee!! I smell NARUKU!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, happily.
"Really? Naruku? Oh JOYOUSNESS!! Now I can thank him for putting this everso useful Wind Tunnel in my hand!!!" Miroku exclaimed. The bushes to the right of the Troupe shook ominously, and out jumped... A MOOSE?!?!
"What is a moose doing in Feudal Japan?" Kagome wondered. The moose laughed diabolically, and with a POOF!!!, he turned into whatever Naruku looks like, but instead of wearing that ridiculous bear/baboon robe/hide thing, he was wearing a pink rabbit costume
"OH JOYOUSNESS!! IT'S NARUKU!!" everyone shouted. Naruku jumped for joy.
"You REMEMBER me!! YAAAY!!" Naruku cheered.
"Yeah, it's kind f heard to forget YOU, what with you repeatedly trying to kill all of us, and having pretty much ruined all of our lives on numerous occasions..." Kagome replied.
"But that's all in the past now!! I would NEVER hurt a FLEA now!!!" Naruku exclaimed, skipping around in a circle. The Troupe quietly whispered among themselves as Naruku danced and sang 'Jingle Bells'. In a conveniently placed tree nearby sat a solitary figure, holding that same boom box. 'Jingle Bells' played from the boom box. The figure snickered, but just as the figure was about to dart away, the song changed to 'The Tape Song' (tape tape tape, tape is cool, tape just really rocks! Plastic lanyards go to &%$# and tape just really rocks!). The figure frantically pushed the stop button, and darted away. But no one noticed because they were busy dancing and/or whispering amongst themselves. How fortunate!!
"What should we do about Naruku?" Inuyasha whispered.
"We should SMITE HIM!!! Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Miroku suggested, whispering.
"Hungry!!!" Shippo whined.
"I don't know if I would normally come up with a plan right now, since I'm basically a huge question mark to most of America, so I shall be Sangoish," Sango informed them.
"We need to get the shards of the Shikon Jewel away from him," said Kagome.
"That is a GOOD idea!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, and glomped her.
"Right, but how are going to--" Miroku was stopped in mid-sentence as Naruku shouted 'TA DA!!!!' Everyone looked at him, surprised. He was standing, pridefully might I add, behind a huge circular table with six chairs around it and the hugest plate of cookies ever known to man (or demon for that matter) in the center of it. Naruku clapped his hands together.
"Let's be friends!!" Naruku exclaimed. The Troupe collectively sweatdropped, except for Shippo. He shouted 'OKAY!!!' and leapt onto the gastronomically huge plate of cookies and started to eat them as fast as he possibly could. Naruku and the rest of the Troupe collectively sweatdropped.
"Well...come and eat some before the cute little fox kid eats them all," Naruku said. The rest of the Troupe figured 'Why not?!?!' and decided to sit down and eat the cookies.
"Why are all of our enemies giving us cookies?" Kagome pondered.
"Are those chocolate chip cookies or do they have macadamia nuts in them?" Inuyasha pondered.
"Why haven't I noticed how cool Naruku is before?" Miroku pondered, getting a TAD fanboyish, but only just a tad.
"Why must I be Sangoish?" wondered Sango.
"How can Shippo eat so many cookies?" Naruku pondered.
"Why am I included in this scene?" Sesshomaru pondered from a tree nearby. Then he promptly left.
"Yum!! How can chocolate chip cookies taste so good?" Shippo pondered. Everyone sat down (only after Inuyasha forcibly removed Shippo from the pile of cookies) and looked expectantly at Naruku. He grinned at them.
"Dig in!!" he said, gesturing to the huge pile of cookies. Shippo jumped forward, but Inuyasha caught him by the tail.
"Oh no you don't you greedy pig!!" he exclaimed, and then shoved ten cookies in his mouth at once.
"Hypocrite!" Kagome scolded. Inuyasha pouted. Everyone got their fair share of the cookies. Then they got the rest of the cookies a safe distance away from the table and let Shippo loose to decimate them. While they were eating, Kagome got an idea.
"Say, Naruku, you have a bunch of the shards of the Sacred Shikon Jewel of Four Souls, don't you?" asked Kagome. Everyone but Shippo nearly choked and stared at her.
"Why yes I do!!" Naruku exclaimed, squeeing.
"Well, we're collecting the shards, you know," Kagome continued.
"Yup!!" Naruku answered.
"So, I was wondering, why don't you just give US your shards...for safekeeping!!" Kagome suggested.
"Okay!!" Naruku replied, happily. Everyone that had been holding their breath (Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango) sighed in relief. Naruku got up, and trounced over to Kagome. He presented her with one shard.
"This is my favorite. His name is Phil," Naruku informed her.
"O...kay..." she said, taking it, while giving him a 'you're a lunatic' look. He just grinned.
"And this is Bob, Lenny, Carl, Sam, George, and Pete," he said, presenting her with said shards.
"And these four are REALLY cool. They're Beth, Lisa, Maggie and Dorothy, " Naruku presented her with four more shards. He went on to name the forty gajillion more shards, while the Troupe munched on cookies and tried to block him out.
"Kagome loves me, Kagome loves me not, Kagome loves me..." Inuyasha thought, counting the number of chocolate chips there were in one chip.
"Inuyasha loves me, Inuyasha loves me not, Inuyasha loves me..." Miroku thought, copying Inuyasha.
"COOKIES!!!" Shippo mentally shrieked, decimating the rest of his immense portion of the cookies.
"Sangoish rhymes with Sangofish and Sangodish and..." Sango thought.
"I wonder if Inuyasha loves me? Or maybe it's Sesshomaru? I KNOW Miroku loves me..." Kagome thought, as Naruku presented her with YET ANOTHER shard of the Shikon Jewel.
"....and this is Greg, and this is..." Naruku babbled on and on and on and...
ONE HOUR LATER!!!
"...and last but not least, this one is named Chris!!" Naruku exclaimed, presenting her with his last shard of the Shikon Jewel. Kagome accepted the shard, yawned, and thanked Naruku. Everyone gradually woke up, having eaten all of the cookies (more out of boredom than hunger) and decided that sleep was good. Naruku smiled at them.
"There! I'm done!!" he exclaimed.
"YAAAAY!!!" the Troupe collectively rejoiced. Naruku's watch suddenly beeped (I KNOW that they didn't have watches in Feudal Japan...I just don't care...)
"Oh dear, I have to go! Oh well!" Naruku exclaimed. He then hugged Kagome randomly.
"Take care of my shards of the Shikon Jewel!" he said. Then he hugged Sango for no reason, and then Shippo. Finally, he came to Miroku and Inuyasha. Miroku got his 'deranged fanboy' look again.
"Could it be?! Naruku is much better looking than both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru! Oh me oh my!!" Miroku thought, as the theme song to Titanic randomly played in his head. Another solitary figure snickered, and turned off the boom box that was playing that incredibly annoying song, and ran away.
"Please please please please PLEASE hug me!!!" thought Miroku. Naruku walked up and shook his hand (being extra careful NOT to shake the hand with the wind tunnel in it), and then shook Inuyasha's hand as well. Miroku facefaulted.
"Farewell!! I hope to see you all again!" Naruku exclaimed, and waved as he slowly walked away.
"Good bye!!" the Troupe exclaimed, and waved at him. Then everyone froze in position and the scene turned into a painting. A solitary figure snickered, and took the painting away from the screen, revealing that the Troupe was drinking soda and eating chips randomly.