A/N: Ok, don't worry - you convinced me to write a sequel in which Spike returns. But first I will finish this story (-; There will be one more chapter after this one.
Please visit this homepage:
It's a new Buffy and Angel Fanfiction Page!
Enjoy (-:
Chapter 3 - Like a brother
Buffy had been restless the whole day long. In the evenig Dawn would return home from their father and then she had to tell her what had happened to Spike.
She knew that it would be hard for her younger sister.
Spike and Dawn had been very close and no matter what the vampire had always pretended, he had loved the girl. He would have done everything for her, Buffy didn't doubt that at all. And Dawn had trusted him like nobody else, maybe this was why Spike had had so much affection for her. She had been the only one who had trusted him completely and without a doubt.
This was one of the reasons why Buffy felt so bad. She should have trusted him, too, like her sister. And she knew that she would regret that all her life.
Again the slayer heared the vampire's voice in her head: "Buffy, I love you."
Why hadn't she believed him? Of course she would never have been able to love him in return but she could have been nicer, more respectful.
Those thoughts were running through her head over and over again.
Until the door opened and she knew that Dawn had come home.
**********
"Hi Buffy!" The teenager came running into the living room and embraced her sister. "Missed me?"
"Sure, we all did."
Dawn was in a hurry and so she didn't see that something was wrong with her sister. "Can we talk later? I want to go to the cemetery before it's getting dark and all vampires of Sunnydale are gathering there."
"The cemetery?"
"Yeah, I promised Spike to visit him as soon as I'm home."
She turned to go but Buffy called her back immediatly. "Dawn, wait! There's something I have to tell you."
"What is it?"
"Please sit down for a moment." When her sister was sitting next to her on the sofa she continued to talk: "Dawnie, you can't visit Spike."
"Why?"
"He won't be there."
"What do you mean? Why shouldn't he? It's still 50 minutes to sunset."
"I'm sorry, honey, but while you were away something happened. We fought a demon and... this demon tried to shoot me with an arrow and... Spike." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Spike threw himself before me. Dawnie, he's dead."
"No." The girl whispered.
"I'm sorry, Dawn, but it's true."
"No! You're lying! He's alive!" She yelled at her older sister, stood up and ran out of the house.
Buffy slowly followed her, she knew where she would be.
**********
Dawn ran as fast as she could.
She was unable to believe what her older sister had just told her.
Spike had to be alive! He meant so much to her, even though the others had always told her that he was not to be trusted. But she knew he was, he would never hurt her, never.
Her legs moved automatically, she didn't notice anything around her until she finally reached the cemetary.
When she stood before Spike's crypt she hesitated. She had always liked it to come here, but now she was afraid.
What if Buffy was right? What if he was really dead?
"No, he's fine!", Dawn whispered to herself, opened the door and entered the crypt.
"Spike?" It was hard to hear her voice at all. 'He didn't hear it. I wasn't loud enough', she tried to calm herself. A deep breath and then she tried again. "Spike?"
Nothing.
Dawn waited, she didn't dare to move or even to breath.
Still nothing - only silence.
Suddenly she realized that it was true.
He wouldn't answer, never.
The coffin wouldn't open. He wouldn't sit up and look at her as if he was disturbed. No deep voice which would ask her what she wanted.
Never again.
And with this thought she fell to her knees, crying out in despair.
Maybe she was naive, childish, but still there was a little hope that the coffin would fly open and that he would come out, asking her what was wrong, trying to hide his concern.
Of course it didn't happen.
For what seemed like an eternety she cryed silently.
**********
Buffy followed her sister but she wasn't as fast as she could have been. She knew exactly where Dawn would go.
And for some reason she didn't want to follow her there.
Of course she knew that she would need her now, but on the other hand she felt as if she wasn't able to go where her sister already was. To face the place where he had lived, where she had visited him so often to get informations from him, seemed almost impossible.
She couldn't go there.
To his crypt.
Spike's crypt.
But she knew that she had to do it.
For Dawn.
Without really knowing it she entered the cemetery and walked automaticly towards the building Spike had been living in for the last few years of his life.
The sight of it brought back so many memories.
From inside she heared her sister wheeping silently and it broke her heart to hear this sound.
Silently she entered the crypt and immediatly saw her sister.
The girl was sitting on the ground, next to Spike's coffin, and cried her eyes out.
The coffin Spike had slept in.
'No!', she scolded herself. 'You have to take care of Dawn now!'
Slowly Buffy approached her and sat down next to her, gently touching one of the shaking shoulders. "Dawn?"
She didn't get an answer but after a few seconds her sister wrapped her arms around her and continued wheeping on her shoulder.
**********
Afer a few moments Dawn was finally able to speak. She had to ask the question which tortured her the most, she needed an answer, even if she wouldn't like it.
"Buffy?", she whispered.
"Yes?"
"Xander once told me that vampires who die go to hell. Do you think that Spike...?" She couldn't finish the sentence. The thought of Spike suffering in hell forever was too much for her.
First there was no answer, but then she heared her older sister's sad voice, trying to calm her despite of her own pain. "I don't think so, Dawnie."
She knew Buffy well enought to know something which broke her heart: She was lying.
**********
After nearly an hour Dawn was finally able to stop crying and looked up at Buffy. "Did you bury him? You didn't just leave him where he was, did you?"
"No, of course not." She stood up and pulled Dawn with her. "His ashes were buried in the woods. He even has a headstone, Xander has made it."
"Can we go there? I want to see it." Dawn swallowed hard, still not believing what had happened during the few days she had been away.
She needed to say goodbye to him. Suddenly she realized that she hadn't even been here to see him the day before she had gone to visit her father. She had been at the crypt two days before, then she had told him to visit him again as soon as she was home. Of course she had never considered that it would be too late then. If she had only known, she would have spent the entire day with him instead of being together with Judy, one of her friends.
After a moment of hesitation Buffy finally answered her question. "Ok, let's go."
With a final look at the crypt they left the cemetery and walked home.
Now it was already dark outside and Dawn knew that her sister was looking, maybe a vampire or something would attack. But nothing happened.
When they were they Buffy called Xander and asked where the grave precisely was. She hadn't had the courage to go there yet and it still felt strange. She didn't want to accept the fact that it was truly over.
"Buffy, I can drive you. It's hard to find if you don't know where it is", Xander said gently.
"Ok, thank you."
""That's alright. I'll pick you up in ten minutes."
**********
None of them spoke a word while they were driving towards the woods.
"Xander, please stop at the gas station!", Dawn suddenly said.
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
He did as she asked him and Dawn jumped out of the car and ran into the shop. After a few moments she came back with a few red roses.
She looked sad when she sat down on the back seat again. "They didn't have better flowers. These are nearly faded already", she whispered.
"Dawnie, that's not your fault. I can drive you to the grave whenever you want and then you can bring him other flowers", Xander said. "And I'm sure he doesn't care what the flowers you bring him look like. It's more important that you remember him."
"I always thought you hated him", Dawn wondered.
For a moment the young man hesitated. "I've done him wrong", he simply admitted.
"Most of us have", Buffy added.
There was nothing left to say.
**********
Finally Xander stopped the car and they all got out.
"Where is it?", Buffy asked and looked around.
"We have to walk a little, it's not far, though."
The two girls nodded and followed their friend quietly.
It really wasn't far, but it was pretty sure that noboy would find it. As Willow had said it was beautiful there, even now that it was pretty late already.
The headstone was very well done and after a moment of hesitation Dawn walkd forward and laid her roses next to the flowers Willow and Tara had planted.
Buffy and Xander remained where they were for they felt that she needed some time alone.
**********
Slowly Dawn approached the grave and placed her flowers on the grave. She felt tears coming to her eyes again when she read the letters on the stone:
Spike (William)
May your sins be forgiven
We will never forget you
RIP
She just stared at the words for a few moments and then she spoke in a quiet voice. "Hi Spike. I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner but I just returned a few hours ago. I know you understand", she paused, thinking of what else to say. "When Buffy told me that you ... that you weren't there anymore I couldn't believe it. I already miss you, Spike." She sobbed quietly before she was able to continue. "I thought you would always be there to watch over me", she laughed quietly, sadly. "I know I'm so naive sometimes. Everyone told me that I shouldn't trust you too much, that you would kill me if it wasn't for the chip. But I always knew that this wasn't true. I always knew that you cared about me." A small smile was suddenly on her lips. "I know you would never have admited it, though." She hesitated, unsure of what to say next. "I love you, Spike. You were like a brother to me and I hope that you're happy, wherever you are now. I'll come back soon. Bye."
********
Buffy and Xander were silent all the time, listening to her words, and even Xander had tears in his eyes.
Finally Dawn stood up and walked towards them.
"Ready to go home?", Xander asked in a tight voice.
She only nodded.
The two of them walked towards the car, only Buffy remained still for a moment and looked at the grave.
Then she also turned to go.
TBC
Please review and I will soon publish the last chapter!
Please visit this homepage:
It's a new Buffy and Angel Fanfiction Page!
Enjoy (-:
Chapter 3 - Like a brother
Buffy had been restless the whole day long. In the evenig Dawn would return home from their father and then she had to tell her what had happened to Spike.
She knew that it would be hard for her younger sister.
Spike and Dawn had been very close and no matter what the vampire had always pretended, he had loved the girl. He would have done everything for her, Buffy didn't doubt that at all. And Dawn had trusted him like nobody else, maybe this was why Spike had had so much affection for her. She had been the only one who had trusted him completely and without a doubt.
This was one of the reasons why Buffy felt so bad. She should have trusted him, too, like her sister. And she knew that she would regret that all her life.
Again the slayer heared the vampire's voice in her head: "Buffy, I love you."
Why hadn't she believed him? Of course she would never have been able to love him in return but she could have been nicer, more respectful.
Those thoughts were running through her head over and over again.
Until the door opened and she knew that Dawn had come home.
**********
"Hi Buffy!" The teenager came running into the living room and embraced her sister. "Missed me?"
"Sure, we all did."
Dawn was in a hurry and so she didn't see that something was wrong with her sister. "Can we talk later? I want to go to the cemetery before it's getting dark and all vampires of Sunnydale are gathering there."
"The cemetery?"
"Yeah, I promised Spike to visit him as soon as I'm home."
She turned to go but Buffy called her back immediatly. "Dawn, wait! There's something I have to tell you."
"What is it?"
"Please sit down for a moment." When her sister was sitting next to her on the sofa she continued to talk: "Dawnie, you can't visit Spike."
"Why?"
"He won't be there."
"What do you mean? Why shouldn't he? It's still 50 minutes to sunset."
"I'm sorry, honey, but while you were away something happened. We fought a demon and... this demon tried to shoot me with an arrow and... Spike." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Spike threw himself before me. Dawnie, he's dead."
"No." The girl whispered.
"I'm sorry, Dawn, but it's true."
"No! You're lying! He's alive!" She yelled at her older sister, stood up and ran out of the house.
Buffy slowly followed her, she knew where she would be.
**********
Dawn ran as fast as she could.
She was unable to believe what her older sister had just told her.
Spike had to be alive! He meant so much to her, even though the others had always told her that he was not to be trusted. But she knew he was, he would never hurt her, never.
Her legs moved automatically, she didn't notice anything around her until she finally reached the cemetary.
When she stood before Spike's crypt she hesitated. She had always liked it to come here, but now she was afraid.
What if Buffy was right? What if he was really dead?
"No, he's fine!", Dawn whispered to herself, opened the door and entered the crypt.
"Spike?" It was hard to hear her voice at all. 'He didn't hear it. I wasn't loud enough', she tried to calm herself. A deep breath and then she tried again. "Spike?"
Nothing.
Dawn waited, she didn't dare to move or even to breath.
Still nothing - only silence.
Suddenly she realized that it was true.
He wouldn't answer, never.
The coffin wouldn't open. He wouldn't sit up and look at her as if he was disturbed. No deep voice which would ask her what she wanted.
Never again.
And with this thought she fell to her knees, crying out in despair.
Maybe she was naive, childish, but still there was a little hope that the coffin would fly open and that he would come out, asking her what was wrong, trying to hide his concern.
Of course it didn't happen.
For what seemed like an eternety she cryed silently.
**********
Buffy followed her sister but she wasn't as fast as she could have been. She knew exactly where Dawn would go.
And for some reason she didn't want to follow her there.
Of course she knew that she would need her now, but on the other hand she felt as if she wasn't able to go where her sister already was. To face the place where he had lived, where she had visited him so often to get informations from him, seemed almost impossible.
She couldn't go there.
To his crypt.
Spike's crypt.
But she knew that she had to do it.
For Dawn.
Without really knowing it she entered the cemetery and walked automaticly towards the building Spike had been living in for the last few years of his life.
The sight of it brought back so many memories.
From inside she heared her sister wheeping silently and it broke her heart to hear this sound.
Silently she entered the crypt and immediatly saw her sister.
The girl was sitting on the ground, next to Spike's coffin, and cried her eyes out.
The coffin Spike had slept in.
'No!', she scolded herself. 'You have to take care of Dawn now!'
Slowly Buffy approached her and sat down next to her, gently touching one of the shaking shoulders. "Dawn?"
She didn't get an answer but after a few seconds her sister wrapped her arms around her and continued wheeping on her shoulder.
**********
Afer a few moments Dawn was finally able to speak. She had to ask the question which tortured her the most, she needed an answer, even if she wouldn't like it.
"Buffy?", she whispered.
"Yes?"
"Xander once told me that vampires who die go to hell. Do you think that Spike...?" She couldn't finish the sentence. The thought of Spike suffering in hell forever was too much for her.
First there was no answer, but then she heared her older sister's sad voice, trying to calm her despite of her own pain. "I don't think so, Dawnie."
She knew Buffy well enought to know something which broke her heart: She was lying.
**********
After nearly an hour Dawn was finally able to stop crying and looked up at Buffy. "Did you bury him? You didn't just leave him where he was, did you?"
"No, of course not." She stood up and pulled Dawn with her. "His ashes were buried in the woods. He even has a headstone, Xander has made it."
"Can we go there? I want to see it." Dawn swallowed hard, still not believing what had happened during the few days she had been away.
She needed to say goodbye to him. Suddenly she realized that she hadn't even been here to see him the day before she had gone to visit her father. She had been at the crypt two days before, then she had told him to visit him again as soon as she was home. Of course she had never considered that it would be too late then. If she had only known, she would have spent the entire day with him instead of being together with Judy, one of her friends.
After a moment of hesitation Buffy finally answered her question. "Ok, let's go."
With a final look at the crypt they left the cemetery and walked home.
Now it was already dark outside and Dawn knew that her sister was looking, maybe a vampire or something would attack. But nothing happened.
When they were they Buffy called Xander and asked where the grave precisely was. She hadn't had the courage to go there yet and it still felt strange. She didn't want to accept the fact that it was truly over.
"Buffy, I can drive you. It's hard to find if you don't know where it is", Xander said gently.
"Ok, thank you."
""That's alright. I'll pick you up in ten minutes."
**********
None of them spoke a word while they were driving towards the woods.
"Xander, please stop at the gas station!", Dawn suddenly said.
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
He did as she asked him and Dawn jumped out of the car and ran into the shop. After a few moments she came back with a few red roses.
She looked sad when she sat down on the back seat again. "They didn't have better flowers. These are nearly faded already", she whispered.
"Dawnie, that's not your fault. I can drive you to the grave whenever you want and then you can bring him other flowers", Xander said. "And I'm sure he doesn't care what the flowers you bring him look like. It's more important that you remember him."
"I always thought you hated him", Dawn wondered.
For a moment the young man hesitated. "I've done him wrong", he simply admitted.
"Most of us have", Buffy added.
There was nothing left to say.
**********
Finally Xander stopped the car and they all got out.
"Where is it?", Buffy asked and looked around.
"We have to walk a little, it's not far, though."
The two girls nodded and followed their friend quietly.
It really wasn't far, but it was pretty sure that noboy would find it. As Willow had said it was beautiful there, even now that it was pretty late already.
The headstone was very well done and after a moment of hesitation Dawn walkd forward and laid her roses next to the flowers Willow and Tara had planted.
Buffy and Xander remained where they were for they felt that she needed some time alone.
**********
Slowly Dawn approached the grave and placed her flowers on the grave. She felt tears coming to her eyes again when she read the letters on the stone:
Spike (William)
May your sins be forgiven
We will never forget you
RIP
She just stared at the words for a few moments and then she spoke in a quiet voice. "Hi Spike. I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner but I just returned a few hours ago. I know you understand", she paused, thinking of what else to say. "When Buffy told me that you ... that you weren't there anymore I couldn't believe it. I already miss you, Spike." She sobbed quietly before she was able to continue. "I thought you would always be there to watch over me", she laughed quietly, sadly. "I know I'm so naive sometimes. Everyone told me that I shouldn't trust you too much, that you would kill me if it wasn't for the chip. But I always knew that this wasn't true. I always knew that you cared about me." A small smile was suddenly on her lips. "I know you would never have admited it, though." She hesitated, unsure of what to say next. "I love you, Spike. You were like a brother to me and I hope that you're happy, wherever you are now. I'll come back soon. Bye."
********
Buffy and Xander were silent all the time, listening to her words, and even Xander had tears in his eyes.
Finally Dawn stood up and walked towards them.
"Ready to go home?", Xander asked in a tight voice.
She only nodded.
The two of them walked towards the car, only Buffy remained still for a moment and looked at the grave.
Then she also turned to go.
TBC
Please review and I will soon publish the last chapter!