A Tale of Two Shippos
by ArtikGato
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from Inuyasha, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which my Yami pawned off for popsicle money... eheh...
Author's Notes: Nope. I'm STILL not back to normal. This chapter is MUCH more random than most chapters are. The insanity from History class is kicking in...
In chapter five of A Tale of Two Shippos, Kouga made his grand appearance!! First, the Troupe encountered him as a Black Knight fighting in the woods. Inuyasha beat him up royally. Then, they encountered a TANUKI!! Followed closely by the "Knights Who Say Nee'. There was only one knight, and that was Kouga. After another battle between Kouga and Inuyasha, the Troupe continued on their journey of peril and randomness. And now....
A Tale of Two Shippos: Chapter SEVEN!!!
"Now I have TWO roses!!" Kagome exclaimed, joyously, as she produced her roses from Kouga and Sesshomaru out of thin air. Hojo suddenly ran up and handed her a light-blue rose.
"Three!" he corrected her, zooming away. Everyone sweatdropped.
"That's that guy from your time that is in love with you, isn't it?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome nodded.
"How did he go through the well?" Sango asked. Everyone shrugged. Miroku leaned over to Kagome and handed her a dark purple rose.
"Now you have four," he said. Sango fumed. Naraku and Hitomi rushed up and handed her two identical black roses.
"Five," said Naraku.
"Six," said Hitomi. They vanished. Nobunaga appeared out of nowhere and gave her a random neon pink glow-in-the-dark rose.
"Seven!" he exclaimed, teleporting away with much gwah. Ryoga and Mousse wandered up, looking very lost.
"Hi...we're looking for Furiken High..." Ryoga said.
"You wouldn't happen to know whe--" Mousse started. They suddenly noticed Kagome. They instantly rushed over to her, kneeling before her dramatically and each handed her a rose (one was red, white and blue, and the other one was pink and purple striped). (a/n: yes, they DO have those kind of roses, I'm NOT making that up!). Shippou bounded up to them and pointed in a random direction. The two bishounen thanked him, and started off in the direction he pointed, only to be caught in a rainstorm and turned into their pig and duck forms. Shippou then took a yellow rose out of his vest type thing and handed it to Kagome. She squealed in delight.
"Squee! Now I have TEN roses!!" Kagome was blushing and glomping her roses. Inuyasha and Sango both looked very much PO'ed.
"I didn't get a rose!! Damn you, Miroku!!" Sango mentally screamed, planning to rip out his intestines, putting them in a bowl, pouring hotsauce on them, and making him eat them. (eurgh...sorry, I just had to eat Mexican food...)
"How DARE all of those jerks give her roses!!" Inuyasha thought, fuming. Miroku tapped them both on the shoulder. He handed Inuyasha a BOUQUET of roses, alternatively red and white in color. He pointed from the roses to Kagome a few times so that Inuyasha would get the point. He then turned to a furious angry Sango, and presented her with a hugely gigantic rose made entirely of gold. (at least, that's what he told her...) Inuyasha blushed, and tapped Kagome on the shoulder. She turned around, forgetting about her roses momentarily and stared into his eyes.
"Uhm..." he said, kind of weirded out about how she was just staring into his eyes like that. He coughed, and held out the bouquet of roses. She gasped overdramatically, but before she could take the roses, a stupidly huge demon cow with three eyes fell from the sky nearby, landing on the gold rose, squashing it flat. The cow then proceeded to eat the bouquet of roses that Inuyasha was holding, as well as eight out of her ten roses (the only two left being the ones that Fluffy and Kouga gave her)...which made the previous few paragraphs COMPLETELY and TOTALLY pointless!!
"Moozier!" exclaimed Someone, who ran up and glomped the cow.
"TAPPOSAI!!" everyone chorused. Inuyasha growled, and prepared to smite the big-eyed, dirt-old living-mummy demon person, while muttering curses under his breath.
"Wait, wait! I've got something for you!" the big-eyed, dirt-old living-mummy demon person protested, waving his hands around wildly.
"Well, it'd BETTER be DAMN good!! Your DAMN cow just ATE my DAMN roses!!" Kagome damned...er, I mean, Kagome screamed. Very VERY loudly, at that. The Japanese word for 'damn' is 'kuso', by the way.
"It IS!! It is a VERY good reason! I have here a brand spankin' new sword for ya!" Tapposai replied.
"I don't NEED a new sword!!" screamed an annoyed Inuyasha.
"It's not for YOU, nincompoop! It's for your fair young maiden!" Tapposai screamed back.
"What do I need with a sword?!" Kagome demanded. Tapposai shrugged, but handed her the sword, anyway. On the handle there was an engraving of a penguin. She looked at him like he was a dancing llama.
"Ummm...why is there a penguin on the handle?" Shippou asked.
"It's called the Pensaiga. It has mystical powers previously unheard of! It is said that anyone who is cut by the Pensaiga will be turned into a penguin, and--" Tapposai started to explain. Before he could say another word, Kagome unsheathed the Pensaiga and eagerly cut Inuyasha with it. Silence.
"Hey! Bitch!! That HURT!!" Inuyasha complained. More silence.
"Your stupid sword doesn't work, Tapposai!" Kagome exclaimed, turning to look at him. She gave a squawk of surprise, dropping the sword. Everyone else turned to look, and also squawked in surprise. Standing where Tapposai had been was a penguin, wearing Tapposai's clothing. Everyone gaped at Tappenguin. Kagome looked at the sword curiously. She then decided to cut Shippou with it.
"AGGH!!" Miroku exclaimed, as he disappeared in a poof of smoke. Standing where the monk had been was a penguin, wearing Miroku's monkish clothing and carrying a miniature mandala.
"Cool!!" Sango exclaimed, taking the Pensaiga and cutting Kagome with it.
"Quack?" Sanguin asked a few minutes later. Sanguin was wearing Sango's normal civilian clothing, and had a miniature Hiraikotsu (or however you spell it!!) on her back. Shippo, Inuyasha and Kagome looked at eachother. Inuyasha lunged and picked up the sword, slashing Kirara with it. Shippo yelped, and soon there was a penguin, not much bigger than Shippo, wearing his clothing. Kagome took the sword from Inuyasha and cut Tapposai's demon cow with it.
"ARGH!" Inuyasha shouted.
"Quack?" Inuguin asked, a few seconds later. Kagome looked at Inuguin and, after a few minutes of valiant struggling, couldn't help but glomp him/it. She set Inuguin down after a while, and looked around at her former friends.
"Ummm...this is a bad thing isn't it?" she asked. Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken suddenly arrived. Kagome looked at them and, curious, decided to cut Rin.
"QUACK!!" screeched the now-penguin-former-toad Jaken.
"How DARE you cut Rin and turn Jaken into a penguin!!" Sesshomaru screamed at her. The two were suddenly aware of Naraku running toward them. Kagome just shrugged, cutting Fluffykins in the process.
"Quack?!" quacked Naraku in surprise, finding himself with flippers instead of hands. A random cardinal landed on Kagome's shoulder, and she noticed Kikyo running toward her over a nearby hill. The dead onna had a big ass knife in her hand and a murderous look on her face. Kagome looked from Kikyo to the cardinal, to Kikyo, to a zebra, and back to the cardinal. Laughing diabolically, she cut the cardinal. POOF!! Rin turned into Ringuin.
"Whoops!" Kagome exclaimed, looking around frantically for something to cut that would turn Kikyo into a penguin.
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!! The miko swung the Pensaiga around her, making cuts appear in all of the trees and cacti around her. POOF! Kikyo and a herd of llamas turned into penguins.
"Well...that was special," she said. Sesshomaru looked rageful.
"You...turned...Rin...into...a..." he started. She looked at him, apologetically. He turned purple in rage. " P E N G U I N ! ! ! ! !" he screamed. She fell over, clutching her ears.
"I didn't MEAN to!!" she countered.
"We have to THINK of something to change them BACK!!" Fluffy-chan countered. They instantly sat down Indian style and started to think.
THIRTY MINUTES LATER!!
"I've GOT it!! I'll use the Tenseiga!" Sesshomaru shouted, jumping up excitedly. He drew the fabled useless piece-o-crap sword that doesn't cut, and slashed Ringuin with it.
"Quack?" Rin asked, still a penguin.
"ARGH!! FIDDLESTICKS!! It'd didn't work!!" Kagome exclaimed. They sat back down to think again.
THIRTY MORE MINUTES LATER!!!
"Kagome!" exclaimed Someone. Kagome turned around.
"Kouga! My brotha'! Yo, homie! Wassup?" Kagome asked. He looked at her, confused.
"Eh?" he asked. Inuguin was now angrily quacking and trying to attack Kouga.
"Homie g fresh slice out of the frying pan with a glass of orange juice! You got some bling-bling goin', yo?" she tried again.
"???" Kouga replied.
"Word up!! I hear you, ma sistah! Gimme some skin!" Sesshomaru exclaimed, high fiving Kagome.
"Word to your mother!" Kagome replied.
"Umm...what are you guys talking about?" Kouga asked. They coughed.
"Hi Kouga!" Kagome exclaimed.
"Fair maiden! Thou looks stressed! What is it that troubles thee? And why art thou socializing with this dog demon?" Kouga asked, gesturing to Sesshomaru.
"I accidentally turned everyone into penguins! He's trying to help me figure out how to change them back!" Kagome exclaimed. Kouga looked thoughtful.
"How did you turn them into penguins in the first place?" he asked. She held up the Pensaiga.
"With this! it's called the Pensaiga!" she told him.
"Pen sai what?" he asked.
"Pen..." Sesshomaru said.
"Pen," Kouga replied.
"Sai...." Sesshomaru continued.
"Sai," answered Kouga.
"GA!" Sesshomaru screamed.
"Ga!" Kouga cried, joyously.
"Pensaiga!" all three chorused.
"What do you have to do with the Pensai...pensai...SWORD to turn them into penguins?" Kouga asked.
"You have to cut someone else and it might turn them into a penguin," she explained.
"WHAT?!" he demanded.
"Well, for example, she cut me with the Pensaiga and it turned Naraku into a penguin," Sesshomaru offered, pointing at Naraguin. Kouga looked thoughtful again.
"Have you tried cutting one of the penguins with the Pen..sai...ga?" he asked, carefully. She shook her head. "Try then!" he exclaimed. She cut Ringuin with the Pensaiga. Miroku turned back to normal with a poof. Kouga, Sesshomaru and Kagome exchanged glances. Kagome cut Shippo, which made Sango turn back to normal. She tossed the sword to Sesshomaru, who cut Kikyo, causing Shippo to turn back to normal. Sesshomaru tossed the sword to Kouga, who cut Inuyasha, causing Jaken to return to normal. Kagome quickly cut Sango, making Jaken turn BACK into a penguin. She then cut Naraguin, making Rin return to normal. Sesshomaru glomped Rin, and then cut Tapposai's cow, making Tapposai return to normal. Finally, Kagome cut Kikyo and Naraku at the same time, making Inuyasha return to normal. He glared at Kagome, unsheathed the Tetsusaiga, and went to attack Kouga. Kagome sighed, kicking Kikyoguin once for good measure, and stomping on Naraguin. Rin, Jakuin and Fluffy bade Kagome and the others farewell, and walked off into the sunset. Kagome, Sango, Shippo and Miroku tied Kikyoguin and Naraguin to a cactus, and Inuyasha came back, growling.
"Damn that wolf! He got away AGAIN!!" Inuyasha screeched. Kagome re-sheathed the Pensaiga, and fastened it to her belt. They then kicked Naraguin and Kikyoguin for good measure, and walked off, laughing heartily and chatting about their adventures as penguins. And everyone was joyous...well, except for Naraku and Kikyo. It's pretty HARD to be joyous when you're tied to a cactus with cactus thorns sticking into your back...
But other than that, everyone was joyous. Except for Jaken...I mean, he was still a penguin...and it's pretty hard to be joyous as a penguin. Unless you WANT to be a penguin, that.is. But Jaken did NOT want to be a penguin.
Anyway, other than them, everyone was joyous. Well, Kagome and Sango were still irate about the demon cow ruining their roses. And Inuyasha was pretty pissed about being turned into a penguin...and about not getting to kill Kouga... And Miroku still had not found a child-bearer, so he wasn't happy...
But other than THEM, everyone was joyous!!