The Zelda Murder Mysteries:
It was on a Thursday night, I had just returned from my weekly manicure, when there was a message on my answering machine. 'Link, it's me Ruto. Something awful has happened at Zora's Domain and I need your help. Come as soon as possible.bye'. Yes, it was from my old (and SLIGHTLY annoying) fiancé Ruto. That was a long time ago now. 'She must have heard of my Detective Agency' I said to myself. Then before I knew it, I was off to Zora's Domain.I would have never known then what I had got my handsome self into....
Story 1: Fishing for Trouble
From my office I rode Epona to the river outside Zora's Domain. I played Zelda's lullaby and jumped through the waterfall. I arrived at Zora's Domain and I ran up to the Royal Chamber room. I had my detective hat over my usual hat so I looked pretty professional. To my horror, I saw King Zora lying on the floor in a pool of water and blood. I suspected he was dead. Ruto was standing over him.
Ruto: Link! You finally arrived! What took you so long?
Link: there was a frozen yoghurt stand outside of here. What was I supposed to do? Anyway moving on.. Just what has happened here? A big fat jelly-like creature of some kind is lying dead at your feet!
Ruto: That's my father!
Link: of coarse! It makes so much sense now! Ruto, if that IS your REAL name, can you explain why your 'father' is dead?
Ruto: I had just come back from seeing Lord Jabu-Jabu and I heard a scream. I ran as fast as I could to my father's room and he was lying on the floor, dead, and then you came in.
Link: hmmm...interesting. Looks like this case is going to be tough.
Mysterious voice: I think you could use some help.
Link: who the?
Zelda walks into the room.
Zelda: Looks like King Zora is defiantly dead.
Link: Zelda? What are you doing here?
Zelda: I heard about your agency Link and since it was called 'Handsome Link's super cool Detective agency' I got worried about your customers and went to your 'office'.
Link: Hey! My Dumpster is more of an office then my hole was!
Zelda: Well, I listened to your answering machine, oh by the way Link your dry-cleaning won't be ready till Tuesday, I heard what Ruto said and I came here to help with your investigation. After all I AM the Sage of Wisdom.
Link: Well...okay Zelda you can help me. But how do we know King Zora was murdered? He might have killed himself somehow.
Zelda: For once your right Link. We're going to have to do and autopsy.
* 10 uncomfortable minutes later*
Zelda: Well I checked the body out and I'm sorry to say he was defiantly...murdered.
Ruto: Oh daddy!
Zelda: I found a knife in his stomach and poison on his lips.
Link: What do we do now Zelda?
Zelda: We're going to have to start questioning our suspects.
Link: suspects?
Zelda: Yeah, Ruto can Jabu-Jabu confirm your whereabouts?
Ruto: yes
Link: confirm? Zelda, not everyone is a sage, so stop talking smart talk.
Ruto: I'm a sage
Link: *scoff* yeah..of water!
Zelda: Link, you question Jabu-Jabu and I'll question Ruto, okay? Then we can try and find some clues.
Link: gotcha
20 minutes later and Zelda is still questioning Ruto.
Zelda: Did you or didn't you?!
Ruto: Okay, Okay I did!
Zelda: I knew you asked Link to marry you!
A very wet and slimy Link enters the room.
Zelda: Ewww.Where have you been?
Link: Well...*flashback*
Link walks up to Jabu-Jabu
Link: (gets out pen and pad) now, where were you this morning?
Jabu-Jabu: ....
Link: Okay..uhh..were you talking with Ruto?
Jabu-Jabu: ....
Link: Did you hate King Zora in any way?
Jabu-Jabu: ...
Link: Oh man! Trying to get answers out of this guy has sure made me hungry! I'll just eat this fish I got. (Gets out bottle and starts to open it) Damn childproof caps! (Drops bottle) no!!!!! My fish!!!
Jabu-Jabu: !!!! (Opens mouth)
Link: AHHHHHHH! (Gets inhaled)
*Back to reality*
Zelda: makes sense. Link, let's go back to your office and discuss what we found out. Ruto, Link and I will be back tomorrow to look for clues.
Ruto: okay
Zelda and I went back to my office just outside Lon Lon Ranch and I had something to tell her.
Link: Zelda, I have something to tell you.
Zelda: What is it?
Link: I found this in Lord Jabu-Jabu *Gives Zelda a wet piece of paper*
Zelda: It says:
Don't think I don't know about it Ruto, you and the King can't get rid of me so easily. Your little scam is nothing without me and you know it!
Link: I think Jabu-Jabu wrote it.
Zelda: Why would Jabu-Jabu write it?! It was in his stomach!
Link: He could have wrote it and swallowed it.
Zelda: But why him?!
Link: He always seemed very suspicious from the beginning.
Zelda: Shut up Link. I've got a clue of my own, look what I found in Ruto's purse. *Zelda hands Link some Lipstick*
Link: (Sarcastically) Gee, Lipstick. Now that's something you don't find in a woman's purse everyday.
Zelda: That's not ordinary lipstick Link. Notice that it is a shade of green? It's a poison lipstick, and the poison type matches the poison on King Zora's lips.
Link: wow. But why would Ruto want to kill her own father?
Zelda: I don't know...we will need to question her again. The note says she was in some kind of a scam with her father and the writer of the note was also involved. We need to find the writer of that note.
Link: okay.But I still think the killer id Jabu-Jabu
Zelda: (To herself) Why do I even bother?
Link: (rambling on) Or possibly Malon, that pitchfork could do serious damage..or Saria I bet she's got a lot of anger.or maybe Zelda did it.
It was on a Thursday night, I had just returned from my weekly manicure, when there was a message on my answering machine. 'Link, it's me Ruto. Something awful has happened at Zora's Domain and I need your help. Come as soon as possible.bye'. Yes, it was from my old (and SLIGHTLY annoying) fiancé Ruto. That was a long time ago now. 'She must have heard of my Detective Agency' I said to myself. Then before I knew it, I was off to Zora's Domain.I would have never known then what I had got my handsome self into....
Story 1: Fishing for Trouble
From my office I rode Epona to the river outside Zora's Domain. I played Zelda's lullaby and jumped through the waterfall. I arrived at Zora's Domain and I ran up to the Royal Chamber room. I had my detective hat over my usual hat so I looked pretty professional. To my horror, I saw King Zora lying on the floor in a pool of water and blood. I suspected he was dead. Ruto was standing over him.
Ruto: Link! You finally arrived! What took you so long?
Link: there was a frozen yoghurt stand outside of here. What was I supposed to do? Anyway moving on.. Just what has happened here? A big fat jelly-like creature of some kind is lying dead at your feet!
Ruto: That's my father!
Link: of coarse! It makes so much sense now! Ruto, if that IS your REAL name, can you explain why your 'father' is dead?
Ruto: I had just come back from seeing Lord Jabu-Jabu and I heard a scream. I ran as fast as I could to my father's room and he was lying on the floor, dead, and then you came in.
Link: hmmm...interesting. Looks like this case is going to be tough.
Mysterious voice: I think you could use some help.
Link: who the?
Zelda walks into the room.
Zelda: Looks like King Zora is defiantly dead.
Link: Zelda? What are you doing here?
Zelda: I heard about your agency Link and since it was called 'Handsome Link's super cool Detective agency' I got worried about your customers and went to your 'office'.
Link: Hey! My Dumpster is more of an office then my hole was!
Zelda: Well, I listened to your answering machine, oh by the way Link your dry-cleaning won't be ready till Tuesday, I heard what Ruto said and I came here to help with your investigation. After all I AM the Sage of Wisdom.
Link: Well...okay Zelda you can help me. But how do we know King Zora was murdered? He might have killed himself somehow.
Zelda: For once your right Link. We're going to have to do and autopsy.
* 10 uncomfortable minutes later*
Zelda: Well I checked the body out and I'm sorry to say he was defiantly...murdered.
Ruto: Oh daddy!
Zelda: I found a knife in his stomach and poison on his lips.
Link: What do we do now Zelda?
Zelda: We're going to have to start questioning our suspects.
Link: suspects?
Zelda: Yeah, Ruto can Jabu-Jabu confirm your whereabouts?
Ruto: yes
Link: confirm? Zelda, not everyone is a sage, so stop talking smart talk.
Ruto: I'm a sage
Link: *scoff* yeah..of water!
Zelda: Link, you question Jabu-Jabu and I'll question Ruto, okay? Then we can try and find some clues.
Link: gotcha
20 minutes later and Zelda is still questioning Ruto.
Zelda: Did you or didn't you?!
Ruto: Okay, Okay I did!
Zelda: I knew you asked Link to marry you!
A very wet and slimy Link enters the room.
Zelda: Ewww.Where have you been?
Link: Well...*flashback*
Link walks up to Jabu-Jabu
Link: (gets out pen and pad) now, where were you this morning?
Jabu-Jabu: ....
Link: Okay..uhh..were you talking with Ruto?
Jabu-Jabu: ....
Link: Did you hate King Zora in any way?
Jabu-Jabu: ...
Link: Oh man! Trying to get answers out of this guy has sure made me hungry! I'll just eat this fish I got. (Gets out bottle and starts to open it) Damn childproof caps! (Drops bottle) no!!!!! My fish!!!
Jabu-Jabu: !!!! (Opens mouth)
Link: AHHHHHHH! (Gets inhaled)
*Back to reality*
Zelda: makes sense. Link, let's go back to your office and discuss what we found out. Ruto, Link and I will be back tomorrow to look for clues.
Ruto: okay
Zelda and I went back to my office just outside Lon Lon Ranch and I had something to tell her.
Link: Zelda, I have something to tell you.
Zelda: What is it?
Link: I found this in Lord Jabu-Jabu *Gives Zelda a wet piece of paper*
Zelda: It says:
Don't think I don't know about it Ruto, you and the King can't get rid of me so easily. Your little scam is nothing without me and you know it!
Link: I think Jabu-Jabu wrote it.
Zelda: Why would Jabu-Jabu write it?! It was in his stomach!
Link: He could have wrote it and swallowed it.
Zelda: But why him?!
Link: He always seemed very suspicious from the beginning.
Zelda: Shut up Link. I've got a clue of my own, look what I found in Ruto's purse. *Zelda hands Link some Lipstick*
Link: (Sarcastically) Gee, Lipstick. Now that's something you don't find in a woman's purse everyday.
Zelda: That's not ordinary lipstick Link. Notice that it is a shade of green? It's a poison lipstick, and the poison type matches the poison on King Zora's lips.
Link: wow. But why would Ruto want to kill her own father?
Zelda: I don't know...we will need to question her again. The note says she was in some kind of a scam with her father and the writer of the note was also involved. We need to find the writer of that note.
Link: okay.But I still think the killer id Jabu-Jabu
Zelda: (To herself) Why do I even bother?
Link: (rambling on) Or possibly Malon, that pitchfork could do serious damage..or Saria I bet she's got a lot of anger.or maybe Zelda did it.