There's a telephone booth. Two strange California youths wearing even
stranger clothes walk out.
Bill: Well, hello again my superb reader.pal.! Ted: Yes, yes. It's about time you've returned. Well, while we were out, some very strange things happened in the Mercury Estates. Sara and Madison became acquainted with other household residents. Madison is choking on the smoke from the ever-smoking Spike and Sara and Vash cannot seem to talk to each other because of their fears of confronting one another. Yes, many most unusual things. Bill: However, we left before anything good happened. Kind of one of those cliffhanger thingies. Bill: Here we go again, with a new character everyone loves. The title of this chapter hints madly at who it may be. I know you're foaming at the mouth with anticipation. (WE WILL INCLUDE WHEN THERE IS AN INSIDE JOKE!) Ted: I dub this chapter "Happy Hour in God's House!"
Bill: Madison and Sara are in their section of the estates, which is a condo-like area with several rooms, two stories, a kickass view of the Pacific Ocean and access to a beach with jet skis and jet boats. How frickin' cool!
Ted:And all of a sudden, they receive an urgent message.
Sara is on the ground. Madison was making the angriest faces ever. She was wearing a pinstripe jumpsuit her dad got from Italy. Sara was wearing a blue halter-top with a jean skirt and a hilarious yellow belt. They looked rich. Yay!
Madison: You have got.to...be.kidding.we've only been here an hour, and you're already obsessed, I hope you don't pull off a Lauren.
(Note, Lauren means a whore-ish thing, if your name is Lauren, that doesn't mean YOU'RE a whore, but someone else with that name is ^_^.)
Sara: BUT VASH IS SO HOT! I think I scared him though.he looked at me as if I had the word stupid written on my forehead.
Madison: You're a nucking futs. I know how you feel, though. I mean Spike is cute, but he's too depressed, and reminds me too much of cowboy Andy. Jesus, we've been here what, an hour?!? I'm almost scared to continue living. I think I'll fake my death(#1) and hide out in a dark, damp box for eternity.
(#1- We plan on faking April, a.k.a Madison's death before school ends this year. It's a really long story.) All of a sudden, a large noise that sounded like a camera phone plays throughout the house. A screen pops out of the ceiling in the room that the girls were lingering in.
Madison's mom: YOU GUYS! IT'S SUNDAY! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AT HOME DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SKIP A DAY OF ENLIGHTMENT!
Madison: Mom, we've been here less than an hour.
Mom: I DON'T CARE! GO! Here is a list of 20 churches within five miles of your location.
Madison scratches her head, pondering if her mother is stalking them. Suddenly, a knock at the door is heard.
Sara: I'LL GET IT!!!!!!!
Sara opens the door to find Vash standing there.
Sara: Oh, hi Vash!
She grins hugely and blushes. Vash tries to refrain from any perverted comments.
Vash: Heh.heh.damn.well...hi Sara!
They glare at each other for a minute. All of a sudden Vash's glare aims downwards and he grins. Sara covers her chest and flicks Vash in the nose.
Sara: Kink!
Vash: I'm sorry. I never got a good look at you.
Sara makes a face at Vash and puts on a coat.
Sara: What you here for?
Vash I wanted to know.by any chance are you Christian?
Sara: Maybe.. yes I am. Why?
Vash: Heh, cool, I was just about to head off and I wanted to you if you wanted to go with meh.
Sara: We were about to head off to church too. Madison's mom has some thing about church. If we don't go today she'll sever our heads with a bible. One question.ARE YOU A CHURCH FREAK?
Vash: NO! I just go because my friend Nicholas, who also lives here, is holding a mass today. Something involving comedy always happens when he's the priest.
Madison: I'll be the judge of that! Vash slyly grins. Vash: You'll see. It's bound to be jesting.
Madison: Hmm okay, I'm for it.
Sara: Me too, let's go!
Vash: There's a bus that lead right to the church, let's go try and catch it. It leaves in 5 minutes, so lets run!
They all storm out and run down the huge stairs in front, following Vash. They came to the stop, where the bus was about to leave. The door was closing as Vash jumped in the way. The driver was mysteriously familiar in a scary way.
Driver- Shory, but you cannot ride thish bush. There are no sheats.
Vash-BUT. Madison appears into view. The bus driver immediately stops.
Driver: You can get on! He grins peevishly.
Sara: Why does this seem like it's happened before?
Madison is angry.
Madison: Because it has.(#2)
(#2) We were going to Michigan when April forgot her purse with her calling card, money and camera in it. We needed to get it, so April and my dad headed towards a shuttle bus. The driver, who looked PAINSTAKINGLY like ROB (who is an actual, real life person!) said to my dad "We cannot let you on." Then he saw April and said "OK, YOU CAN GET ON!" It's always been a comedic event for us.
Sara: OH YEAH! Sara erupts into laughter as she gets on the bus.
Vash: Wow. I have a feeling we're going to experience some strange things together.
They look for seats. Sara, Vash and April all cram into the last empty seat in back. Madison all of a sudden has a weird, southern sounding accent., but she is still white. Madison: Its racism, making me sit in the back of the bus, just because I wear black! These days, people chose their own beneficial rights over equality. LETS MAKE THIS HATRED END, MY BROTHAZ AND SISTAZ!
Sara: LETS HOLD A BOYCOTT!
Vash: I'm lost already. You two are strange, yet funny and bangable, so who cares!
Vash grins and Madison hits him over the head with a prosthetic leg that mysteriously is in her hand.
Vash: OWW! Old guy: WATCH WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!
Old guy hits Madison in face with false foot.
Madison TRs (#3) but Sara holds her back. The bus comes to a stop.
(#3, TR stands for turn red, turning red means anger.)
Vash- we're here!
They get off the bus and walk into the church, which smells a lot like heavy booze. The rest of the gang from the house is there, including some unfamiliar faces. One is of a middle age scruffy looking man with long blonde hair. Another is a Swedish guy and a guy in a leather jacket, and another is a girl that looks like a strawberry blonde, evil Sara. How weird. It also appears that jesus is sitting in the church; only he looks more like a dirty frog.
Madison: NO! YOU DON'T EXIST!
Jesus-looking guy: NO! I AM ARAGORN, SON OF ARATHORN, I AM NOT JESUS CHRIST!
Madison: Good.
Sara: When's the last time you took a shower? Your hair is so... greasy.
Aragorn: It's greasy because I'm rugged and manly.
Sara: Actually, you look more like a hobo.
Aragorn begins to cry. He storms out running like a woman. Aragorn: THAT'S IT! ILL GETS MY REVENGE!
Vash: That's something I haven't experienced before, but I guess every day brings new and interesting things.
A dinging noise is heard.
Vash: Mass will begin..I'm going to foam at the mouth due to excessive excitement.
Madison: There you go! Finally learning to speak like us.
Two men in white dresses suddenly enter the church. One is holding the bible, the other holding a priesty bonk.(#4)
#4 Been to church? Know that thing that priests carry around that blesses you with water when they shake it at you? That's a priesty bonk. You might wonder why we find comedy in them, but when Father Carl lets go of one and hits a kid in the head, you start seeing the comedic value.
The band in the front of the church starts playing the song "Gather Us in" and singing all churchy.
Sara- Which one is your friend?
Vash- He's not here yet.
Madison- Oh no, a wait. Suck!
All of a sudden, the smell of smoke and the sound of motors was present.
Random Voice- OSAMA'S BACK!
A skinny dude with black hair wearing all black and sunglasses with a cigarette in his mouth and another one behind his ear rides in on a motorcycle. People begin madly applauding and Vash jumps up squealing like a woman.
Vash- THAT'S MY FRIEND!
Sara- COOL! WHAT A BADASS PRIEST!
Madison- SOMEHOW, SPIKE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS BUT THAT PRIEST IS HT!
They applaud while laughing.
Nicholas turns to the band.
Nicholas: That song sucks. However, we must stay in a churchy mood, so play something appropriate, if you know what I mean.
The song "Stairway to Heaven" is being played. WOW!
Bill: Sorry to cut you short, but our authors here have people to meet and things to do. Don't worry though, part 2 of "HAPPY HOUR IN GODS HOUSE" will be here very shortly. Ted: They're just lazy. Bill: Farewell for now!
Bill: Well, hello again my superb reader.pal.! Ted: Yes, yes. It's about time you've returned. Well, while we were out, some very strange things happened in the Mercury Estates. Sara and Madison became acquainted with other household residents. Madison is choking on the smoke from the ever-smoking Spike and Sara and Vash cannot seem to talk to each other because of their fears of confronting one another. Yes, many most unusual things. Bill: However, we left before anything good happened. Kind of one of those cliffhanger thingies. Bill: Here we go again, with a new character everyone loves. The title of this chapter hints madly at who it may be. I know you're foaming at the mouth with anticipation. (WE WILL INCLUDE WHEN THERE IS AN INSIDE JOKE!) Ted: I dub this chapter "Happy Hour in God's House!"
Bill: Madison and Sara are in their section of the estates, which is a condo-like area with several rooms, two stories, a kickass view of the Pacific Ocean and access to a beach with jet skis and jet boats. How frickin' cool!
Ted:And all of a sudden, they receive an urgent message.
Sara is on the ground. Madison was making the angriest faces ever. She was wearing a pinstripe jumpsuit her dad got from Italy. Sara was wearing a blue halter-top with a jean skirt and a hilarious yellow belt. They looked rich. Yay!
Madison: You have got.to...be.kidding.we've only been here an hour, and you're already obsessed, I hope you don't pull off a Lauren.
(Note, Lauren means a whore-ish thing, if your name is Lauren, that doesn't mean YOU'RE a whore, but someone else with that name is ^_^.)
Sara: BUT VASH IS SO HOT! I think I scared him though.he looked at me as if I had the word stupid written on my forehead.
Madison: You're a nucking futs. I know how you feel, though. I mean Spike is cute, but he's too depressed, and reminds me too much of cowboy Andy. Jesus, we've been here what, an hour?!? I'm almost scared to continue living. I think I'll fake my death(#1) and hide out in a dark, damp box for eternity.
(#1- We plan on faking April, a.k.a Madison's death before school ends this year. It's a really long story.) All of a sudden, a large noise that sounded like a camera phone plays throughout the house. A screen pops out of the ceiling in the room that the girls were lingering in.
Madison's mom: YOU GUYS! IT'S SUNDAY! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AT HOME DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SKIP A DAY OF ENLIGHTMENT!
Madison: Mom, we've been here less than an hour.
Mom: I DON'T CARE! GO! Here is a list of 20 churches within five miles of your location.
Madison scratches her head, pondering if her mother is stalking them. Suddenly, a knock at the door is heard.
Sara: I'LL GET IT!!!!!!!
Sara opens the door to find Vash standing there.
Sara: Oh, hi Vash!
She grins hugely and blushes. Vash tries to refrain from any perverted comments.
Vash: Heh.heh.damn.well...hi Sara!
They glare at each other for a minute. All of a sudden Vash's glare aims downwards and he grins. Sara covers her chest and flicks Vash in the nose.
Sara: Kink!
Vash: I'm sorry. I never got a good look at you.
Sara makes a face at Vash and puts on a coat.
Sara: What you here for?
Vash I wanted to know.by any chance are you Christian?
Sara: Maybe.. yes I am. Why?
Vash: Heh, cool, I was just about to head off and I wanted to you if you wanted to go with meh.
Sara: We were about to head off to church too. Madison's mom has some thing about church. If we don't go today she'll sever our heads with a bible. One question.ARE YOU A CHURCH FREAK?
Vash: NO! I just go because my friend Nicholas, who also lives here, is holding a mass today. Something involving comedy always happens when he's the priest.
Madison: I'll be the judge of that! Vash slyly grins. Vash: You'll see. It's bound to be jesting.
Madison: Hmm okay, I'm for it.
Sara: Me too, let's go!
Vash: There's a bus that lead right to the church, let's go try and catch it. It leaves in 5 minutes, so lets run!
They all storm out and run down the huge stairs in front, following Vash. They came to the stop, where the bus was about to leave. The door was closing as Vash jumped in the way. The driver was mysteriously familiar in a scary way.
Driver- Shory, but you cannot ride thish bush. There are no sheats.
Vash-BUT. Madison appears into view. The bus driver immediately stops.
Driver: You can get on! He grins peevishly.
Sara: Why does this seem like it's happened before?
Madison is angry.
Madison: Because it has.(#2)
(#2) We were going to Michigan when April forgot her purse with her calling card, money and camera in it. We needed to get it, so April and my dad headed towards a shuttle bus. The driver, who looked PAINSTAKINGLY like ROB (who is an actual, real life person!) said to my dad "We cannot let you on." Then he saw April and said "OK, YOU CAN GET ON!" It's always been a comedic event for us.
Sara: OH YEAH! Sara erupts into laughter as she gets on the bus.
Vash: Wow. I have a feeling we're going to experience some strange things together.
They look for seats. Sara, Vash and April all cram into the last empty seat in back. Madison all of a sudden has a weird, southern sounding accent., but she is still white. Madison: Its racism, making me sit in the back of the bus, just because I wear black! These days, people chose their own beneficial rights over equality. LETS MAKE THIS HATRED END, MY BROTHAZ AND SISTAZ!
Sara: LETS HOLD A BOYCOTT!
Vash: I'm lost already. You two are strange, yet funny and bangable, so who cares!
Vash grins and Madison hits him over the head with a prosthetic leg that mysteriously is in her hand.
Vash: OWW! Old guy: WATCH WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!
Old guy hits Madison in face with false foot.
Madison TRs (#3) but Sara holds her back. The bus comes to a stop.
(#3, TR stands for turn red, turning red means anger.)
Vash- we're here!
They get off the bus and walk into the church, which smells a lot like heavy booze. The rest of the gang from the house is there, including some unfamiliar faces. One is of a middle age scruffy looking man with long blonde hair. Another is a Swedish guy and a guy in a leather jacket, and another is a girl that looks like a strawberry blonde, evil Sara. How weird. It also appears that jesus is sitting in the church; only he looks more like a dirty frog.
Madison: NO! YOU DON'T EXIST!
Jesus-looking guy: NO! I AM ARAGORN, SON OF ARATHORN, I AM NOT JESUS CHRIST!
Madison: Good.
Sara: When's the last time you took a shower? Your hair is so... greasy.
Aragorn: It's greasy because I'm rugged and manly.
Sara: Actually, you look more like a hobo.
Aragorn begins to cry. He storms out running like a woman. Aragorn: THAT'S IT! ILL GETS MY REVENGE!
Vash: That's something I haven't experienced before, but I guess every day brings new and interesting things.
A dinging noise is heard.
Vash: Mass will begin..I'm going to foam at the mouth due to excessive excitement.
Madison: There you go! Finally learning to speak like us.
Two men in white dresses suddenly enter the church. One is holding the bible, the other holding a priesty bonk.(#4)
#4 Been to church? Know that thing that priests carry around that blesses you with water when they shake it at you? That's a priesty bonk. You might wonder why we find comedy in them, but when Father Carl lets go of one and hits a kid in the head, you start seeing the comedic value.
The band in the front of the church starts playing the song "Gather Us in" and singing all churchy.
Sara- Which one is your friend?
Vash- He's not here yet.
Madison- Oh no, a wait. Suck!
All of a sudden, the smell of smoke and the sound of motors was present.
Random Voice- OSAMA'S BACK!
A skinny dude with black hair wearing all black and sunglasses with a cigarette in his mouth and another one behind his ear rides in on a motorcycle. People begin madly applauding and Vash jumps up squealing like a woman.
Vash- THAT'S MY FRIEND!
Sara- COOL! WHAT A BADASS PRIEST!
Madison- SOMEHOW, SPIKE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS BUT THAT PRIEST IS HT!
They applaud while laughing.
Nicholas turns to the band.
Nicholas: That song sucks. However, we must stay in a churchy mood, so play something appropriate, if you know what I mean.
The song "Stairway to Heaven" is being played. WOW!
Bill: Sorry to cut you short, but our authors here have people to meet and things to do. Don't worry though, part 2 of "HAPPY HOUR IN GODS HOUSE" will be here very shortly. Ted: They're just lazy. Bill: Farewell for now!