[b]Chapter1 : Waking Dreams[/b]
"Si vis pacem, para bellum" (if you want peace, prepare for war)
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Harry stared across the lake he sat beside. It had been a month today. A month since he had told Ginny he loved her. A month since he had killed Voldemort. That had been one hell of a day. Harry would have laughed, had it not been such a serious matter.
He had thought things would get better once Riddle was gone, but he had been wrong. Things had only gotten worse. The war had reached a peak higher than ever before. Reports of his fellow fighters deaths, both friend and foe, came in new every day. Battles happened weekly. The death- eaters wanted revenge for their masters death, and the way things were looking, they were going to get it.
Turning his thoughts back to the problem at hand, Harry recalled his godfathers speech to him over again for about the fifth time in the past half hour. The man had asked him to go home, to stop fighting. He had insisted that Harry was mentally worn out and at the rate he was going, he would die younger than his parents had
Harry had always looked up to his father's best friend, always respected him and his opinions, but the man was wrong this time. He just didn't understand. No one understood.
Especially Ginny.
He had to fight, because it was all he knew. His life had been spent helping others, protecting others. Saving others lives. If he gave that up now, his life would be worthless. What would he do? Even if it meant losing his heart, he refused to stop defending what he loved and believed in.
The trouble was, he loved Ginny as much as he loved the magical community. Maybe he even loved her more. But what right did she have to make him decide between the two? It just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair anymore.
Pulling his cold hands out of his pockets, he struggled to get up from the slippery rock he had chosen to rest and think on. Turning around, he looked at the campsite in the distance. From out here it looked odd and deserted. It looked sad..
Which it was, he thought bitterly. This was no epic movie. This story didn't look like it was going to have a happy ending. This was reality, and in reality, the good guys didn't always win. In reality the good guys died.
Remus Lupin had been a good guy.
Harry had the hardest time accepting his once professors death, of all the people he had lost. Lupin had been a fighter, brave and proud, and so lively even in his older age that it seemed impossible to think of him as gone forever. Harry never understood how someone who was singing and dancing one day, could be cold and motionless the next.
But he had seen his friend die. He had looked into the casket to find Remus's pale frozen body. He had cried for him, just as he started to do now.
But crying would get him nowhere, he reminded himself. Wiping his eyes on his tattered sleeve, he walked in the direction of the cave which now served as a shelter for the forces fighting against the darkside. It was nearly six o'clock and the raiders were due back any minute now. With luck, he could find his friends and figure out something to distract himself.
As long as he didn't think about the deaths, he would be allright.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ginny touched her broom to the ground, letting out a deep sigh of relief. Today had been bad. Worse than it had been in a very long time, and she was glad to be back where she belonged.
Shoving her outerwear into the locker assigned to her, she recalled the days events in her head.
She and her raid team had been sent out to search the recently abandoned Karchkroft Manor for any clues as to the death-eaters plans, or any other sorts of dark magic that might prove useful. The house had unfortunately turned out to be completely empty, no shred of spells even lingering in the walls, and the group had been just about to leave when one of the Feelers informed Ginny he was sensing dementors to the west.
There was nothing Ginny hated as much as she hated dementors.
Landing up on the roof with the aid of her broom, Ginny had searched through her telescope to see if he was correct in his intuition, and discovered that there were indeed six large dementors headed in her direction. Cursing loudly and calling to five of her squad members for their assistance, she had flown in their direction, and easily forced them away using Patronus charms.
Unfortunately, the trip from the manor to Rapaput island, where all dark prisoners were being held, was a long one, and the way things were these days, Ginny's happy memories were running quite dry by the time she reached the prison. She had just been forced to relive Severus' death, when the island had come into view. With one last memory of her first kiss, she had shoved her dementor towards the waiting aurors, then flown with the rest of her squad back to Phoenix Cavern.
Slamming the door shut, braiding her hair quickly, and wiping mud off the bottom of her boots, she walked into the main part of the campsite. As she did so, her ears were met with a blast of noise. The room was, as always, filled to the brim with people. One corner housed the Members of the Order and their families. Another held the refugees of Hogsmeade village, fresh from the attack a week and a half before. Noticing her brother, Charlie, speaking with a group of children on the outskirts of this area, Ginny strided towards him.
"And then Dumbledores phoenix came swooping into the chamber and landed right on the spot where Harry had been injured. And the phoenix cried, and its beautiful tears cleansed the poison from within his blood, and healed his cut like MAGIC!" Her brother cried, making a few of the kids jump in their spots.
"Is that really true?" An awestruck girl with shimmery blonde hair asked. Charlie smiled down at her, and Ginny was reminded of her younger days.
"It is. Every last bit of it" he said, smiling as the young girls eyes widened in shock, "You can ask my sister here, she saw it all." Ginny laughed, and nodded as the group of children stared up at her. Then, saying their goodbyes to the refugees, she took her brothers arm and they walked together back in the directions of their friends.
They were all gathered round on a small rug that had been set up in the area of the camp that Ginny liked to call "home". At the moment she and her brother arrived , Dean, Seamus, Ron and Harry appeared to be involved in a doubles chess tournament, Bill and George were laughing hysterically as they flipped through the pages of a magazine, Ari and Sirius were "enjoying each others company", and everyone else was still out working around the cave.
Ginny plopped herself in between Harry and Ron at the chessboard, while Charlie joined his brothers at the magazine. Ron was too absorbed in the game to even greet her, but his opponents were kind enough to mutter a hello, and Harry greeted her with a soft swift kiss before placing his arm around her waste. She settled into his shoulder with relief. It was so like Harry to sense her rough day and choose to comfort her rather then dwell on the argument they had shared last night.
Reveling in his warmth, she barely noticed the game taking place in front of her. All that mattered was Harry, right there, right now. She loved the smell of the sea that lingered on him, telling her that he had spent the day by the water, probably just thinking. She loved the sound of his heart beat, pulsing beneath her head, the feel of his rough fingers brushing against her soft arms as he leaned to grab a butterbeer from their freezerbox. It was like her senses were on the alert whenever she was around him, and it reminded her of the time she spent as a huskie.
All her troubles drained away as she fell into a light sleep in his arms.
~*~
Harry shifted his sleeping girl in his arms so that she could lay more comfortably in his lap. She looked so innocent and babylike when she closed her eyes, but Harry was well aware of the fact that she was no baby. She had gone through just as much as he had. Seen the horrors he had seen.
But she shouldn't have had too. If anyone deserved to be free of the terrors of war, it was Ginny Weasley. He was surprised it had taken him so long to realize it, but she was without a doubt, the most beautiful person he knew, inside and out. There was a fire in her soul that no one could ever break, no matter how hard they tried. And Voldemort sure had tried.
Realising that Ron had entirely forgotten it was a doubles game, Harry decided to follow Ginnys lead, and rest for a moment as well. Just a moment.......
*~*~*"Lily! Take Harry up to his room. Lock yourself in. I'll fight him off!" A deep burly voice called.
A loud crash rang through the air and the house shook. "No James! I cant leave you. We'll fight together I..."
"Lily NOW! You have to protect Harry. I. I'm strong Lil, I can take him. Just please, save yourself. Do it for me. I love you" He said to the bright haired woman standing in front of him. Tears were brimming in his eyes, just as they were in hers.
A final blast and the door flew open. Taking one last look at her husband the woman fled up the stairs, cradling the crying baby in her arms. She ran into the nearest room and issued a series of charms locking the door. Placing her ear to the floor, wand still ready in her hand, she listened as a battle ensued below her.
"AVADA KEDAVRA" and a thud told her she would never see her husband again, raging tears flowing from her eyes, she listened as footsteps came up the stairs, she prepared herself to fight.
It only took a single charm to break through the door, and once the dust cleared, a dark cloaked figure Lily recognized all too well, stood in its place.
"Move woman!" It called, "I want nothing to do with you." Lily stood in her spot facing him, ready in dueling position.
"Never!" she screamed. Then in a softer fiercer tone she muttered, "You will never take my Harry"
The man stared at her for a moment before emitting a high shrill laugh. "Have it your way then." He said lifting his wand and pointing at her heart. She made no move to defend herself, and as the man yelled the killing curse again, she fell to the ground with a small smile spread across her lips.
The man kicked her body aside, and walked slowly towards the crib across the room. A sneer spread across his lips as he lifted his wand and opened his mouth.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!!" He yelled as a bright light filled the room, and then...*~*~*~*
Harry woke panting, his face moist with sweat and tears. A cold cloth touched his face as he began to take in his surroundings. A beautiful face loomed above him, soft green eyes piercing into his own. Ginny he reminded himself, not the woman he had seen in his dreams. Not his mother.
He shut his eyes again. It had been at least four years since he had to witness his parents death. And never, had it been as vivid as that was. His mother had given her life for him, he had always known that, but she had just stood there. She had let him point it directly at her heart, and just.....
He couldn't accept it, it was too much to think about. And his father, he had given up his life too. But why? They had so much more of their life to live, they could have had more children, and he was just a year old. What the fuck made him so special?
He was brought back to reality by the voice of his best friend.
"Do you think he's asleep again?" Ron asked in a whisper.
"Maybe we should just leave him alone. He'll be able to find us when he wakes up. Probably just had a long day" Dean suggested from somewhere near Harry's feet. Harry heard movement as the group shifted.
"You all go on" Ron said, the concern in his voice not well hidden. "You too Gin. Please, he's fine, Ill just bring him round to the food tent when he gets up"
Harry sensed Ginnys hesitation, but after a moment, he felt the cold washcloth being removed from his face, and heard the sound of shuffled feet as everyone scrambled towards dinner.
Finally allowing himself to open his eyes, he saw his best friend crouched beside the spot where he lay, intently watching him. He didn't know what to say, but it was no matter, Ron understood, he already knew what had happened. He had seen it happen so many times before.
"Did you see them again?" Ron asked almost at once. Harry sighed deeply, fighting back tears, and nodded up at his friend.
"It was a bad one" He said, as if that explained everything. "They...Ron, my mum didn't even put up a fight. She just died so that I wouldn't. I wasn't worth it. She should be alive now."
Ron contemplated what to say next. He had known Harry for nearly ten years now, and after all that they had been through, it felt more like a lifetime. Yet Harry was never one to open up to people, to share his emotions, or his fears. Now that he was opening up, Ron wasn't sure what to tell him. Was he supposed to say everything would be allright, because that was a lie. And Ron couldn't lie to Harry, not about something so serious.
"I think you were worth it Harry" He replied at last. "And regardless of what you think, I'm not the only one who does. People love you Harry, I know its hard for you to understand that, but its true. We care about you, just like your parents did, that's why we risk our lives for you. You would do the same for me, you have done the same for me."
The two boys sat there for a moment neither speaking, then finally Harry said, "Sorry to keep you waiting for dinner, I know how hungry you can get"
They both smiled at eachother. "I was gonna wait for Hermione anyway." Ron said indignantly. Harry smirked at the redhead, "Were you now? And why would you be waiting for her. She always meets us at dinner."
Ron was now blushing, "Yea well..I thought it would be nice to give her some company for once." "Oh" Harry said knowingly, "then I'd best let you two....enjoy eachothers company"
Ron moved to smack his friend, but the ex-quidditch star was too fast, and was out of reach, waving goodbye to his friend, before the Weasley even had time to think on it. Groaning deeply, he settled himself back into the rug.
What was so wrong with wanting to wait for a friend anyway?
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
So there we go, I know its not much, but I really wanted to get another chapter out because Im desperately in the mood to write angsty stuff.
I know it may not seem like it now, but I promise this has a plot!!
*~*~*~*~*= dream stuff, if anyone could tell me how to do stuff in italics, I promise I shall love you forever!!!! It is so frustrating not being able to do that!!!
More when its written!!!!!
Oh and a huge thanks to elvishfairy!!!!! My reviewer!!!!! Im so glad you like it!!!!
xoEM
"Si vis pacem, para bellum" (if you want peace, prepare for war)
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Harry stared across the lake he sat beside. It had been a month today. A month since he had told Ginny he loved her. A month since he had killed Voldemort. That had been one hell of a day. Harry would have laughed, had it not been such a serious matter.
He had thought things would get better once Riddle was gone, but he had been wrong. Things had only gotten worse. The war had reached a peak higher than ever before. Reports of his fellow fighters deaths, both friend and foe, came in new every day. Battles happened weekly. The death- eaters wanted revenge for their masters death, and the way things were looking, they were going to get it.
Turning his thoughts back to the problem at hand, Harry recalled his godfathers speech to him over again for about the fifth time in the past half hour. The man had asked him to go home, to stop fighting. He had insisted that Harry was mentally worn out and at the rate he was going, he would die younger than his parents had
Harry had always looked up to his father's best friend, always respected him and his opinions, but the man was wrong this time. He just didn't understand. No one understood.
Especially Ginny.
He had to fight, because it was all he knew. His life had been spent helping others, protecting others. Saving others lives. If he gave that up now, his life would be worthless. What would he do? Even if it meant losing his heart, he refused to stop defending what he loved and believed in.
The trouble was, he loved Ginny as much as he loved the magical community. Maybe he even loved her more. But what right did she have to make him decide between the two? It just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair anymore.
Pulling his cold hands out of his pockets, he struggled to get up from the slippery rock he had chosen to rest and think on. Turning around, he looked at the campsite in the distance. From out here it looked odd and deserted. It looked sad..
Which it was, he thought bitterly. This was no epic movie. This story didn't look like it was going to have a happy ending. This was reality, and in reality, the good guys didn't always win. In reality the good guys died.
Remus Lupin had been a good guy.
Harry had the hardest time accepting his once professors death, of all the people he had lost. Lupin had been a fighter, brave and proud, and so lively even in his older age that it seemed impossible to think of him as gone forever. Harry never understood how someone who was singing and dancing one day, could be cold and motionless the next.
But he had seen his friend die. He had looked into the casket to find Remus's pale frozen body. He had cried for him, just as he started to do now.
But crying would get him nowhere, he reminded himself. Wiping his eyes on his tattered sleeve, he walked in the direction of the cave which now served as a shelter for the forces fighting against the darkside. It was nearly six o'clock and the raiders were due back any minute now. With luck, he could find his friends and figure out something to distract himself.
As long as he didn't think about the deaths, he would be allright.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ginny touched her broom to the ground, letting out a deep sigh of relief. Today had been bad. Worse than it had been in a very long time, and she was glad to be back where she belonged.
Shoving her outerwear into the locker assigned to her, she recalled the days events in her head.
She and her raid team had been sent out to search the recently abandoned Karchkroft Manor for any clues as to the death-eaters plans, or any other sorts of dark magic that might prove useful. The house had unfortunately turned out to be completely empty, no shred of spells even lingering in the walls, and the group had been just about to leave when one of the Feelers informed Ginny he was sensing dementors to the west.
There was nothing Ginny hated as much as she hated dementors.
Landing up on the roof with the aid of her broom, Ginny had searched through her telescope to see if he was correct in his intuition, and discovered that there were indeed six large dementors headed in her direction. Cursing loudly and calling to five of her squad members for their assistance, she had flown in their direction, and easily forced them away using Patronus charms.
Unfortunately, the trip from the manor to Rapaput island, where all dark prisoners were being held, was a long one, and the way things were these days, Ginny's happy memories were running quite dry by the time she reached the prison. She had just been forced to relive Severus' death, when the island had come into view. With one last memory of her first kiss, she had shoved her dementor towards the waiting aurors, then flown with the rest of her squad back to Phoenix Cavern.
Slamming the door shut, braiding her hair quickly, and wiping mud off the bottom of her boots, she walked into the main part of the campsite. As she did so, her ears were met with a blast of noise. The room was, as always, filled to the brim with people. One corner housed the Members of the Order and their families. Another held the refugees of Hogsmeade village, fresh from the attack a week and a half before. Noticing her brother, Charlie, speaking with a group of children on the outskirts of this area, Ginny strided towards him.
"And then Dumbledores phoenix came swooping into the chamber and landed right on the spot where Harry had been injured. And the phoenix cried, and its beautiful tears cleansed the poison from within his blood, and healed his cut like MAGIC!" Her brother cried, making a few of the kids jump in their spots.
"Is that really true?" An awestruck girl with shimmery blonde hair asked. Charlie smiled down at her, and Ginny was reminded of her younger days.
"It is. Every last bit of it" he said, smiling as the young girls eyes widened in shock, "You can ask my sister here, she saw it all." Ginny laughed, and nodded as the group of children stared up at her. Then, saying their goodbyes to the refugees, she took her brothers arm and they walked together back in the directions of their friends.
They were all gathered round on a small rug that had been set up in the area of the camp that Ginny liked to call "home". At the moment she and her brother arrived , Dean, Seamus, Ron and Harry appeared to be involved in a doubles chess tournament, Bill and George were laughing hysterically as they flipped through the pages of a magazine, Ari and Sirius were "enjoying each others company", and everyone else was still out working around the cave.
Ginny plopped herself in between Harry and Ron at the chessboard, while Charlie joined his brothers at the magazine. Ron was too absorbed in the game to even greet her, but his opponents were kind enough to mutter a hello, and Harry greeted her with a soft swift kiss before placing his arm around her waste. She settled into his shoulder with relief. It was so like Harry to sense her rough day and choose to comfort her rather then dwell on the argument they had shared last night.
Reveling in his warmth, she barely noticed the game taking place in front of her. All that mattered was Harry, right there, right now. She loved the smell of the sea that lingered on him, telling her that he had spent the day by the water, probably just thinking. She loved the sound of his heart beat, pulsing beneath her head, the feel of his rough fingers brushing against her soft arms as he leaned to grab a butterbeer from their freezerbox. It was like her senses were on the alert whenever she was around him, and it reminded her of the time she spent as a huskie.
All her troubles drained away as she fell into a light sleep in his arms.
~*~
Harry shifted his sleeping girl in his arms so that she could lay more comfortably in his lap. She looked so innocent and babylike when she closed her eyes, but Harry was well aware of the fact that she was no baby. She had gone through just as much as he had. Seen the horrors he had seen.
But she shouldn't have had too. If anyone deserved to be free of the terrors of war, it was Ginny Weasley. He was surprised it had taken him so long to realize it, but she was without a doubt, the most beautiful person he knew, inside and out. There was a fire in her soul that no one could ever break, no matter how hard they tried. And Voldemort sure had tried.
Realising that Ron had entirely forgotten it was a doubles game, Harry decided to follow Ginnys lead, and rest for a moment as well. Just a moment.......
*~*~*"Lily! Take Harry up to his room. Lock yourself in. I'll fight him off!" A deep burly voice called.
A loud crash rang through the air and the house shook. "No James! I cant leave you. We'll fight together I..."
"Lily NOW! You have to protect Harry. I. I'm strong Lil, I can take him. Just please, save yourself. Do it for me. I love you" He said to the bright haired woman standing in front of him. Tears were brimming in his eyes, just as they were in hers.
A final blast and the door flew open. Taking one last look at her husband the woman fled up the stairs, cradling the crying baby in her arms. She ran into the nearest room and issued a series of charms locking the door. Placing her ear to the floor, wand still ready in her hand, she listened as a battle ensued below her.
"AVADA KEDAVRA" and a thud told her she would never see her husband again, raging tears flowing from her eyes, she listened as footsteps came up the stairs, she prepared herself to fight.
It only took a single charm to break through the door, and once the dust cleared, a dark cloaked figure Lily recognized all too well, stood in its place.
"Move woman!" It called, "I want nothing to do with you." Lily stood in her spot facing him, ready in dueling position.
"Never!" she screamed. Then in a softer fiercer tone she muttered, "You will never take my Harry"
The man stared at her for a moment before emitting a high shrill laugh. "Have it your way then." He said lifting his wand and pointing at her heart. She made no move to defend herself, and as the man yelled the killing curse again, she fell to the ground with a small smile spread across her lips.
The man kicked her body aside, and walked slowly towards the crib across the room. A sneer spread across his lips as he lifted his wand and opened his mouth.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!!" He yelled as a bright light filled the room, and then...*~*~*~*
Harry woke panting, his face moist with sweat and tears. A cold cloth touched his face as he began to take in his surroundings. A beautiful face loomed above him, soft green eyes piercing into his own. Ginny he reminded himself, not the woman he had seen in his dreams. Not his mother.
He shut his eyes again. It had been at least four years since he had to witness his parents death. And never, had it been as vivid as that was. His mother had given her life for him, he had always known that, but she had just stood there. She had let him point it directly at her heart, and just.....
He couldn't accept it, it was too much to think about. And his father, he had given up his life too. But why? They had so much more of their life to live, they could have had more children, and he was just a year old. What the fuck made him so special?
He was brought back to reality by the voice of his best friend.
"Do you think he's asleep again?" Ron asked in a whisper.
"Maybe we should just leave him alone. He'll be able to find us when he wakes up. Probably just had a long day" Dean suggested from somewhere near Harry's feet. Harry heard movement as the group shifted.
"You all go on" Ron said, the concern in his voice not well hidden. "You too Gin. Please, he's fine, Ill just bring him round to the food tent when he gets up"
Harry sensed Ginnys hesitation, but after a moment, he felt the cold washcloth being removed from his face, and heard the sound of shuffled feet as everyone scrambled towards dinner.
Finally allowing himself to open his eyes, he saw his best friend crouched beside the spot where he lay, intently watching him. He didn't know what to say, but it was no matter, Ron understood, he already knew what had happened. He had seen it happen so many times before.
"Did you see them again?" Ron asked almost at once. Harry sighed deeply, fighting back tears, and nodded up at his friend.
"It was a bad one" He said, as if that explained everything. "They...Ron, my mum didn't even put up a fight. She just died so that I wouldn't. I wasn't worth it. She should be alive now."
Ron contemplated what to say next. He had known Harry for nearly ten years now, and after all that they had been through, it felt more like a lifetime. Yet Harry was never one to open up to people, to share his emotions, or his fears. Now that he was opening up, Ron wasn't sure what to tell him. Was he supposed to say everything would be allright, because that was a lie. And Ron couldn't lie to Harry, not about something so serious.
"I think you were worth it Harry" He replied at last. "And regardless of what you think, I'm not the only one who does. People love you Harry, I know its hard for you to understand that, but its true. We care about you, just like your parents did, that's why we risk our lives for you. You would do the same for me, you have done the same for me."
The two boys sat there for a moment neither speaking, then finally Harry said, "Sorry to keep you waiting for dinner, I know how hungry you can get"
They both smiled at eachother. "I was gonna wait for Hermione anyway." Ron said indignantly. Harry smirked at the redhead, "Were you now? And why would you be waiting for her. She always meets us at dinner."
Ron was now blushing, "Yea well..I thought it would be nice to give her some company for once." "Oh" Harry said knowingly, "then I'd best let you two....enjoy eachothers company"
Ron moved to smack his friend, but the ex-quidditch star was too fast, and was out of reach, waving goodbye to his friend, before the Weasley even had time to think on it. Groaning deeply, he settled himself back into the rug.
What was so wrong with wanting to wait for a friend anyway?
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
So there we go, I know its not much, but I really wanted to get another chapter out because Im desperately in the mood to write angsty stuff.
I know it may not seem like it now, but I promise this has a plot!!
*~*~*~*~*= dream stuff, if anyone could tell me how to do stuff in italics, I promise I shall love you forever!!!! It is so frustrating not being able to do that!!!
More when its written!!!!!
Oh and a huge thanks to elvishfairy!!!!! My reviewer!!!!! Im so glad you like it!!!!
xoEM