Part 16

Willow opened her eyes and saw the tired, worried faces of her friends. She was laying on a bed and her brow wrinkled in concentration trying to remember how she got there.

The last thing she remembered was fighting her other self with words of encouragement from her friends. She remembered seeing something being thrown at Dark Willow and then blank.

She closed her eyes again and concentrated. She felt Sauron's dark magick but also Galadriel's magick of the ancients. For the moment the light was in control but for how long? She wasn't used to this much power. She had no idea how she was supposed to control it. Like her vampire self there was NO WAY she was unleashing that aspect of her on her friends.

She had perfect memory of the lives she took and the pain she caused. She didn't think she'd ever forget the look of pain in Angel's eyes or the look of despair in Buffy's eyes.

Xander woke when he felt a wet plop on his hand. He blinked a few times to clear his mind and looked over at Willow.

His smile turned to concern when he saw the tears in her eyes. Trying not to wake the others who had bedside vigil he leaned over to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "Welcome back, Wills." His thumb gently rubbed circles on Willow's hand that he held.

Willow tried to smile through her tears but all she saw was the final battle where they fought for their lives because of her.

Xander looked her in the eye, "It's not your fault anymore than it was mine when I was Hyena guy. I never admitted to you or Buffy but I did remember everything I did and said. Do you know how hard it was for me to look you in the eye after how I treated you?"

Willow looked down at their joined hands.

"If you forgave me for that you can forgive yourself for this."

Buffy squeezed her other hand. She had wanted to give them their private reunion but she needed to be there for her best friend.

"We all have a darkness inside of us that we keep a tight rein on. Yours just happen to manifest itself where others see it. The Dark Mojo Willow was a shell for the evil magick of that Sauron guy. It wasn't you. I know you would never harm Angel or anyone if you could prevent it."

Willow bit her lip and tried to explain. "I know that here." She pointed to her head, "but I'm having a hard time dealing with it here." She pointed to her heart. "I feel his dark magick in me. What happens when we get to Sunnydale? Will the power of the Hellmouth draw the darkness out? What happens if something were to happen to someone I care about? Would I draw on the dark magick to exact revenge? I need to learn how to control it. I couldn't live with myself if I killed or hurt someone using it."

Angel had heard them when Willow and Xander first began to talk but he hadn't wanted to intrude. "Willow, I know what it's like to live with the terrible atrocities your body did. I know the day-to-day struggle with the darkness that is inside you and how easy it is to fall back on it. I want to help you control it. I don't know what it's like to control magick so I can't help you there but I can help you with centering yourself and living with the yin and yang that is battling inside you, if you'll let me."

A tear slowly slid from her eye and traveled down her cheek. What had she done to deserve such great friends as they were?

Angel leaned over and carefully wiped her tear. "I didn't mean to make you cry, Willow." He gave her a small smile.

She smiled at him, "That was a happy tear." Willow glanced around the room and noticed there were no windows or doors and it seemed like they were high among the trees.

"Where are we and how did I get here?"

Wesley stood from his chair and stretched his tired muscles, "This is Rivendell, an Elven city. When you and Legolas collapsed Gandalf called on his friend Gwaihir to bring you both here for healing."

"Legolas? What happened to Legolas?" Willow frantically asked. "Oh god, please don't tell me I hurt him."

"He's fine. Or he will be once the Elvish magick finishes its mojo. When you collapsed on the battlefield so did he. He was connected to you mentally when you were fighting internally and when that ended he wasn't able to return to his body in time."

Willow looked confused, "He was there with me while I was fighting?"

Gandalf answered from the doorway, "Yes he was. While Xander and your friends were giving you words of encouragement he took his support to the battle. He is fine, Willow. He just needs time to merge spirit with body. He spent a long time on the astral plane. How do you feel, my dear?"

"Okay I guess. My shoulder's a little sore but other than that I'm okay."

"How are you magickally?"

Willow looked down at Xander's hand and then back up at Gandalf, "That's more complicated. I feel Sauron's influence still and Lady Galadriel's."

Gandalf nodded. "I'm afraid you will always have that particular internal battle. Sauron sent quite a bit of his dark magick your way when Aragorn and I defeated him. I tried to deflect as much as I could but I'm afraid I failed in the long run."

"Is he defeated?"

Gandalf sadly shook his head no. "His body is gone but his essence lives on in you and wherever the rest of his magick rests. I fear in time it will manifest itself again. I don't think we will ever truly defeat him. There must be dark in the world to balance the light and vice versa. When Sauron was defeated the first time his magick manifested itself as a glowing red eye until a body could be claimed."

Wesley turned shocked eyes to Gandalf, "So what you're saying is that the last incarnation of Sauron was a shell? The body we fought was not really Sauron's body?"

"That's correct. Sauron's original body was destroyed by Elrond and Aragon's ancestor in the first war when the ring was forged. His essence floated in the spiritual realm until a body could be used."

"Is that body me?" Willow quietly asked.

Gandalf softly smiled, "It would have been if Galadriel hadn't helped us. I'm afraid you'll always have his darkness but he won't be able to control you or use your body ever again. The magick is such a part of you now that removing it might cause your death."

Willow nodded and looked at Angel, "Looks like I will need those lessons after all."

"There's something else, Willow."

Oh god what more could there be she worried.

"Galadriel gave you the gift of the ancients. A very rare gift to bestow on Man."

"I remember her giving me a soft kiss on the top of my head and I felt flooded with white magick."

Gandalf nodded, "There is a condition that comes with that. You're not immortal in that you can die but you are like the Elves in that you are very long lived. You will not age as humans age you will age as the Elves do."

Willow bit her lip, "What does that mean exactly?"

"Whereas Angel here will forever look in his twenties but he could very well live to be hundreds of years old you will live to be thousands of years old and only age a few years. Galadriel is Elrond's mother in law."

Willow's mind couldn't encompass what Gandalf was telling her. Galadriel who look like she was Elrond's sister was really his mother in law?!?! Willow's eyes filled with tears, "I'm going to outlive all my friends and family?"

Willow wasn't sure she could watch Buffy and Xander grow old and die while she remained young.

Angel noticed the shocked look on her face. That was one of the reasons why he didn't let many people get close to him. It hurt too much to see them grow old and die.

Trying to lighten the mood Xander gave Willow a goofy grin and said, "So, when we're like eighty and I have Willow, who still looks like a hot young thing on my arm, people will say wow he must stock up on Viagra if he can attract that? I can deal with that."

Willow rolled her eyes, "No they're more likely to think I'm some kind of gold digger only after your inheritance."

Buffy laughed, "No they won't, Willow. Xander will have to have gold for you to actually be accused of that."

Xander narrowed his eyes at Buffy, "I could SO have gold by the time I'm eighty."

Willow giggled and Xander smiled and winked at Buffy. Mission accomplished.