Disclaimer: I own only Lunaris, her dad, and their stuff. =D

She stood up from the ground, her robes in tatters, her eye swollen and puffy. Blood dripped down from her mouth to her front, staining the coarse cloth a deeper shade of brown. She swayed unsteadily, but looked piercingly at the man before her.

He looked disgustingly at her. So much like her mother… Inwardly, he was amazed at her resilience, but that didn't stop him from pulling back his hand and bringing it down hard on her face. She fell once more to the ground, and didn't try to get up again.

"Father…please…" Her hand drifted up to her cheek, now turning a dull purple. "I want to be a Jedi."

"To what? To die a death that no one would know or care about? To risk your life trying to protect the very people who try to get rid of you?" He grabbed the front of her robes and lifted her up, so he could look at her straight in the eye. "No, Lunaris. You will never be a Jedi." He tossed her into one corner.

She didn't want to give up. Not now. "Why won't I?"

"Because I said so."

"Mother was a Jedi. And one of the best ones, too. You heard what Master Luke said."

"I don't care about what some crazy fool says about your mother. She died, and that's that."

"Mother would want me to be a Jedi."

"That's a lie."

"If I become a Jedi, what will you do?"

"I'll hunt you down and bring you back here. I'll make sure you'll never see them again. I'll lock you up in here and starve you, for being so disobedient."

She knew who "they" were. And she knew he wasn't joking. He never did. She decided to try again. Just once more.

"Why won't you let me be a Jedi?"

"Your mother died because she was a Jedi."

"But Father, you told me she was killed during a mission to rescue refugees from the Yuuzhan Vong."

"No, Lunaris. She was killed by her own kind. The New Republic had had the Jedi killed. Your mother was one of the Jedi who weren't able to get out from Yavin 4 safely."

The night was thick with darkness. The wind was blowing every now and then, giving the tiny room a bit of cold. A small light was turned on in one corner, a small figure hunched over it.

She knew that her father didn't want her to be a Jedi because he didn't want to lose her. She also knew that he didn't want her to become a Jedi because the Yuuzhan Vong would have him killed, as he was a member of the Peace Brigade. If the Yuuzhan Vong found out that his own daughter was a Jedi, they would want him dead.

Besides, it was too late. She already was a Jedi. A Padawan learner, but still a Jedi. She left the Order temporarily, promising her master of her return. She thought her father would then be proud of her, for following her mother's footsteps, but she was disillusioned when she came home and was bolted in her room. Her lightsaber was thrown away in the junkyard outside the house, and was only allowed outside during mealtimes. She climbed down the window at night to retrieve pieces of her lightsaber and attempted to fix it together.

At last she stood up, her lightsaber in her hand. She pressed a button on one side of it, and a white light shone through the darkness, generating the familiar monotonous hum. She pressed the button once more, and the light disappeared as quick as it had appeared. She placed the cylinder on a hook on her belt, and donned her black Jedi robes, putting the hood over her head. She placed a hand on her cheek and put herself in a slight healing trance to relieve the physical pain she felt.

She walked over to the window and lightly jumped out, using the Force to land her safely on the ground outside. She paused for a moment and turned around, looking back at the place she called home for most of her life. "This is not my home anymore…" she murmured, unconsciously lifting her hand to touch the braid at the side of her head. "The New Order is." She then swiveled around and ran away, deep into the darkness, never to come back.

I replayed the scenes over and over again in my mind. The memories were too painful to erase, even for me.

"Lunaris?" Master Anakin's gentle tone prodded me to look up. His eyes were filled with concern and worry. No sign of pity.

"He's here." My voice trembled. "He's going to take back. He's going to lock me up again and never let me come back here." I fought for control as my words came out. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"He said that? He told you he'd never let you come back here once he found you?" Master Anakin moved to sit on the floor beside me, where I was crouched down and rocking back and forth. "When did this happen?"

"When I left the Order for a short time. I had to run away from there. I promised you I'd come back."

"And you did…" Master Anakin looked away. "…with a swollen eye and a broken jaw."

" He hurt me. Then he told me that. And he said he never wanted me to be a Jedi because I'd die anyway, and no one would know or care about it. He always hurt me, even before I came here. And he always neglected me." His painful words struck me again, like they did before. Then I realized something.


"Is it true, Master? Do we Jedi die without anyone caring about it? Is it much better for us to die, so the Yuuzhan Vong won't be so destructive? Did anyone really care about my mother's death when it happened?"

I disappoint myself. Tears started to spill from my eyes, but I gulped down my sobs. There is no emotion, there is peace…so goes the Jedi Code. I have broken it again. My whole body started to hurt again, in the very places they did when my father first hurt me. It always happens, whenever I think about these memories.

Master Anakin didn't say anything for a while, but took my hands in his. His eyes were closed, and he moved in front of me. He seemed to be meditating.

He started to talk to me through the Force. Then I felt some sort of renewed energy in me.

/Better? /

/Yes, Master, I-- What's happening to me? /

/How do you feel? /

/Much better. Calmer. Re-energized/

/That's good. /

/What did you do, Master? /

/I merely transferred some of my energy and peacefulness to you through the Force. It's like a healing trance, except I'm not healing you. /

/I like it, Master. Please teach it to me. /

/Another day, Lunaris. Another day. /

I opened my eyes, and he smiled at me. "Your father has been sent away. He won't be back after a long time. We've made sure of that."

Something in his expression told me he wasn't lying, and I breathed a sigh of relief. /Thank you. /

Maybe it'll take a whole lot of time before my wounds and bruises won't hurt so much anymore whenever remember that night. Maybe it'll take even longer for those memories I had with my father to be easier to bear whenever I remember them.

At least I'm here.