I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. They belong to their appropriate owners.
It contains or will contain yaoi, strong language and more. Heero's
POV (trying hard to be in character).
Rediscovered
by solange channonix
Chapter IV
I woke up next to something warm, soft to the touch and fitting my arms perfectly. Relena ? I'd long since stopped to be letting myself fall asleep in her quarters.
Anyway, this wasn't her quarters. My eyes looked all around blank white walls, a fragment of gray sky visible through the window and Duo's relaxed face as he was still asleep. Funny... He was sleeping with his head tilted backwards and his mouth hanging open, his hair all around. Duo... Only then I realized where I was, images of the previous night flooding my mind. I had been ready to fuck Duo... and he was damned good kisser, I had to admit it.
Though now it was feeling like an attempt on incest.
I raised myself up on one elbow, trying not to pull on Duo's hair and disentangled myself from his embrace. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a plastic cup of water. I drank it in few rapid gulps. I could still feel Duo's taste on my tongue and lips, his sweet, intoxicating taste...
I needed to stop thinking about him like that. It wasn't quite normal for a male to be thinking about another guy like that and I was normal, straight, or whatever call it. After all, I'd been sleeping with Relena, I could always be bi, but... No, that had been just a mistake. I was sure.
I drank another cup of the water to get lost of every bit of his taste, like if it could vanish the memory as well. Long strands of auburn hair slipping between my fingers, soft like silk... It was getting to me... Maybe I really needed to get laid, with someone in general, after few months of forcing every trace of lust down, maybe my body was desperate enough to make me fuck my best friend. But I wasn't going to give up to stupid instincts.
I threw the cup into the sink and turned on my heel. I bumped on Duo on the doorway. He excused me, walked past me brushing against my side maybe too much for a chance contact and went inside the kitchen. He looked around uncertainly, before jumping to sit on the windowsill in lack of anything else. He began to braid his hair, humming some melody softly, seeming oblivious to the world around him and me, standing in the doorway and gaping, unable to go away. His hands were braiding his hair efficiently, in swift, practised motions, his bare chest heaving with a bit too fast for normal breathing, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration, deep violet eyes looking around at everything but me, lips forming undisctincable words of the silent song he was singing now. He finished doing the braid and put a band at the end, his arms dropped at his sides, then he moved them into his lap, where his hands curled into tight fists. His lower lip trembled nervously and only then, he turned around to look at me, blushing madly at the same moment.
" Stop staring at me !"
I didn't stop. My eyes burned into his.
" Don't look at me like that, Heero..." He told weakly, looking aside just to break the eye-contact.
" Like what ?"
He looked up at me again.
" Like if I did something wrong. I'm sorry about last night. That isn't going to repeat, ever, I promise." He told, jumping down from the windowsill.
I nodded.
He sighed in relief, his eyes lighting up immediately. How he could change his mood completely in seconds was one of the things about him I would never understand.
" I was just feeling lonely... There never was anyone around I felt it'd be right to lose my virginity to. Virginity in that way, not counting girls." He whispered, before flashing a wide grin. " I'm going to dress." He announced and headed to the entrance. I caught his wrist when he was passing by.
" You felt with me it'd be right ?"
He looked at me, uneasiness coming back to his eyes. He swallowed nervously, his hand was squirming in my hold.
" Yes."
" Why ?"
He lowered his gaze. I reached for his chin with my second hand and forced his head back up, for him to be looking me in the eye. I wanted to know, somehow it seemed very important.
" Why... Because at some moment I realized I'd go mad without you at my side. Guess I got used to your presence during the war... It's just that, I was always losing my friends, maybe I haven't wanted for this to happen again with you... Okay, so maybe you don't even feel like my friend, maybe you don't really listen to my blabber, just pretend you are, but others don't do even that. And beside... we make a perfect team, don't you think ? We complete each other and I never had such a feeling about anyone else."
" You mean you... love me ?"
" Don't be silly. I mean I could if you let me." He flashed a weak smile and left, pushing me aside.
The door shut behind him. I rested my back on it, somehow feeling drained. What was I supposed to do with that kind of confession ?
Duo had stated an offer. One I needed to hear from someone anyway. I was barely eighteen, but I felt like settling down in the end, sometime soon, with someone who would be able to love and whom I'd be able to love back, not like it'd been with Relena. Beside that there hadn't been place for a guy like me in her life. Duo had place, in his life and his heart, he had told so himself. We were equal and close, we'd lived through two wars together, fought side by side, he was a Gundam pilot as well, one of four people that could truly understand me in everything I was, having as much of blood on their hands and as many nightmares hunting them every night.
Duo would've been just perfect if only he was a girl, but he wasn't. His sex was putting him out of question, the end.
I went to the bedroom, straightened my clothes and ran a hand through my messy hair on the way. Duo looked up at me from putting his fingerless gloves on as I came in.
" What are we doing ?" I asked.
" You're sure you want to go with me ? We won't be back earlier than a week from now."
" I don't have anything to do anyway."
" Okay then, I have my things at the airport, also, someone will take my motorbike from there. I have two tickets for the plane at noon."
I nodded.
" Still, we have plenty of time to waste. What time is it ? Seven a.m ?"
I nodded, again.
" You'll show me the city ?"
" If you're desperate, though I don't know it very well."
" Well enough to just wander around ? Let's go for a drink."
I smirked.
" I almost got to believe you wanted to visit the cathedral."
He turned from the doorway.
" And you think I wouldn't ? I visited it already and passed all those stairs to get to the top of the tower, yesterday, before going to Relena's mansion." He told before going out.
I followed him, grabbing my jacket from the floor and putting it on. We came into the elevator, went down and outside the building. Duo rushed to check on his motorbike. Then we headed in a random direction to look for some bar. We were walking beside each other for over ten minutes now and still there was none. Duo was blabbering without stop, telling me how he'd visited Quatre few months before. I wasn't even listening, not that he needed it to continue talking or excepted me to. Only few minutes later we saw a neon representing a glass flashing in the distance and rushed in the direction.
" And then I got to know Tro was there, indeed. They live together, you know ? For me it was always pretty obvious they'd end up together, but in..."
" Hn..."
Duo looked at me.
" What ?"
" What do you mean: together ?"
" You know, like in boyfriends."
Who ? Trowa and Quatre ? Was it that Wufei was the only one straight among us ? I didn't ask any more questions, as Duo continued with his story and I didn't want to disturb him. We went inside the bar, completely empty at this early hour of morning, safe for a half-asleep bartender. It was weird the bar was even open. Who goes for a drink at 7:30 in the morning ? Me and Duo, but besides ?
Duo ordered some drinks for both of us. He was always better with alcohols than me, and better with convincing the bartenders to serve them to us when we'd been fifteen.
He handed me a glass, filled with electric blue liquid and we took a seat.
" What the fuck is it ?"
" Don't complain before you tried." He told, sipping his own drink.
I tried my own and it was good indeed.
" So..." Duo began, licking his lips. " What are you going to do after we'll be back from visiting my mother ?"
" Join Preventers." I told without second thought.
" You want your routine back ?"
I would've used the very same words.
" Hn..."
" You know... I bet it was your first thought when Zechs told you to leave, but maybe you should reconsider it ? I mean, do you really want to be a soldier in some way to the end of your life ? You could make quite a career in the computer's industry..."
" I'll consider it."
He nodded.
" Anyway, we need to study, don't you think ? Having ended just a high school we'd never be treated seriously. I was doing college in these two years, between concerts, sessions and things. I'm ending it this year. Then, in the autumn, I'm going to university. Though I'm not decided yet what I'm going to study."
I bet he excepted me to suggest something, but honestly, I had no idea. He grimaced a bit.
" Anyway, I still have time to think about it. Now I need to concentrate rather on making good impression on my mother."
" Then why are you taking me with you ?"
He smiled.
" I hope you'll be as nice to her as you are to me, not such an antisocial freak you seem normally."
He thought I was nice to him ? Then what he was to me ? Putting up with me when no one else, maybe beside Relena, really wanted on any intimate level, being the one to set our meetings, force me into some social life, talking with me and not bothering if I didn't listen, giving me so much and getting close to nothing in return. And that morning, he'd offered all of himself. He either was crazy or I was really important to him, which meant the same anyway.
" I want her to think the best of me, to make her proud. That's all I can do for her."
" If your mother lives to that day, then how did you end up on the streets ?"
He stopped smiling.
" She had to leave me, for some reason. But I bet that if she left me just because... because I was a burden for her, then she wouldn't have wanted to get me back now. I got few messages from her. It seems for me like if she was forced to abandon me when I was a little child, I dunno... It's mostly just a common sense..."
" You're gloryfying her, Duo, while it may turn out so it'd be better for you to never meet her."
" Maybe... Maybe I'm gloryfying her, but it never..." He looked up, his eyes strangely wide and burning with purple fire. " ...it would never be better for me not to meet her, not get to know her. You don't know what does it mean for an orphan to get to meet its mother. You have no clue about how many nights I spent thinking about her when I was younger, how many times I was dreaming about her, how many times I tried to convince myself that she's alive, that she lives somewhere, waiting for me, that I have some family, that I'm not completely alone on the world..." His eyes shined with unshed tears, that slowly left them and rolled down his cheeks. " My dreams are just coming true, Heero..." He whispered, wiping the tears off his rounded cheeks with a sleeve.
I felt distant ache in my chest. Maybe Duo wasn't aware of that, but I hadn't mother either and years ago, as a little child I'd been feeling the same, having the same dream. Just that mine didn't intend to come true...
Duo finished his drink in one long gulp, I did the same. We left the bar, coming out on the street, that was slowly becoming crowded. Duo stopped and looked around, his eyes getting an expression of those of a caged animal.
" We'll better go somewhere less crowded." He suggested.
I suspected why he'd said it. He was quite known in Europe as well, someone could recognize him. It was the very same with Relena. We went into a narrow alley and continued with it in the direction of my appartement. I pointed out that I needed to sort my things out, so I wouldn't take with me everything I had. Duo seemed thoughtful and for once was silent, just walking beside me, with his hands in his pockets, braid swirling behind him with his every move, his hips swaying in the most temptating way. I closed the distance between us, so we were walking maybe too close for just friends, but it was feeling good.
We reached my appartement in that way, once inside I kneeled down in
front of my bags and began to repack, while Duo excused himself and headed
to the bathroom. Just before he disappeared behind the door, I caught glimpse
of his erection, trapped in too tight leather pants. Again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~