Disclaimer: Characters of Gensoumaden Saiyuki belong to Minekura Kazuya and whichever publishing company she currently is with.

Note: My appreciation to reviewers is at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 3: Courting the Shrew a.k.a. Will Gojyo emerge out whole? Part 1

Batten down, boys and girls, ukes and semes!  The battle is about to begin in earnest.

Opponents: Genjo Sanzo, the Shrew vs. Sha Gojyo, Man-About-Town

Venue:  Drawing room of the mansion of Kanon-sama

Time/Date: After dinner, Friday 13th

Entrance: 10 Crowns (adult), 5 Crowns (child, 0.9 meters and below, must be accompanied by an adult)

Popcorns will be provided.  For your own safety, please do not step beyond the yellow line while show is going on.  Bettings with authorized bookmakers only.

The dinner had gone on splendidly.  As if imbued with an invisible shield, our hero managed to deflect every single one of the daggers of murderous glares thrown his way from our sullen lady.  He had the whole party (with the exception of Sanzo, of course) roaring with laughter at his worldly anecdotes.  Little did everyone know that the jocular facade masked a fearless spirit intent on achieving the sole purpose of his life – a life of luxury free of worries.  No more waking up in the morning dreading if there was enough for the next two meals, no more insomnia in the night due to anxiety caused by irate calls from the moneylenders.  Yes, despite the aura surrounding him which proclaimed "prodigal, good-for-nothing", Sha Gojyo was a very, very determined man.

      Well, Gojyo was not the only determined person in the party.  Sanzo observed her soon-to-be-dead suitor with an inner calmness that belied the wrath on her face, looking for an Achilles heels somewhere in that boisterous make-up.  She watched as the rogue flirted with the maid who was refilling his glass.  She listened silently as he recounted his exploits at the gaming table.  She noticed the almost imperceptible crack in Gojyo's facade when her father inquired on the health of Homura's mother, who had been mentally afflicted by a recent tragedy in the family. 

      By the time desserts were served, Sanzo had found a few openings, albeit tenuous ones.  She was ready to use any one of them to get back at this insolent upstart. For the crime of leering at her earlier.  She was not going to just simply maim or kill him.  She was going to humiliate him to death.  Despite her reputation for physical violence, the elder daughter of Kanon-sama never underestimated the power of mental cruelty.  This vulgar man, who thought he could climb the social ladder by clinging to her skirts, would get a full taste of her viciousness tonight.  Yes.  He would so wish he had never set his lecherous eyes on her.

      By the tacit law of courtship, after the table was cleared, Kanon-sama promptly disappeared into his study (leaving the door slightly ajar), Goku and Homura went off to the grounds "for an after-dinner saunter" (properly chaperoned by poor Jiroshin, of course), and the two main stars of the process were left alone in the drawing room.  The battleground was prepared.

      [Are you ready?]

      Gojyo plopped down on the luxurious sofa, limbs splayed about in abandonment.  Soon all this will be mine, he thought.  If he played the game right tonight.  The prize: the dragon woman who was staring down at him, plus her dowry.  A laughter escaped before he could stifle it.  He had thought of her as dragon woman, and here she was, fuming at him, looking as if smoke and fire might burst out of her nostrils any moment.  He looked up at her, expecting to see a furious reaction at the laughter.

      No fire and brimstone.  Nothing but ice.  The scowl had disappeared about the same time he had started to laugh.  Instead of the harangue he had been prepared for, Gojyo was surprised to hear a cool throaty voice address him: "Care for a game of poker, sir?"

~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~

      Somewhere to the north, in a 4WD jeep, a black-haired woman with a pretty face was hurrying towards the city of Soda Met, driving at just twice the speed limit.  She had to brake hard in order to avoid a child who was carelessly crossing the road.  Despite the near miss, a calm smile was plastered on her face as she spoke to no one in particular: "That was close!  But we have to get there, and I really can't bear one more day without justice… I know you'll understand, Jeep, so just hang in there for a while."  The fire of determination shone brightly in her green eyes as the jeep accelerated towards their destination.

Will Gojyo survive his confrontation with the Shrew? Has Genjo Sanzo finally found her match in the Man-About-Town? Is that Hakkai in the jeep? Has Kenny returned from the dead (again)? Tuned in next week, same day, same time, same channel for

Chapter 4: Courting the Shrew a.k.a. Will Gojyo emerge out whole? Part 2

To be continued… (oh yes I am wicked! Wicked!)

Omake:

Okay, since I hate talking to the characters I have hijacked from Minekura, my version of extras does not include CJ being sexually harassed by the kappa or CJ being threatened with that poor excuse of a gun (is it even automatic?) by that poor excuse of a monk or CJ being smiled at by Hakkai (*shudders*) or CJ feeding the monkey boy…. Here goes:

What CJ conceitedly thinks that CJ (and other fangals) should learn from the GmS manga/anime:

Lesson #01: On forgetting

If you are unfortunate enough to encounter them (in your current incarnation, or most likely as a self-insert in your own fic – touchwood!), please take note that:

Sha Gojyo – is the man you'll never forget.  Because he ran off with that hussy and left you with his gambling debts.

Cho Hakkai – is the man who will never forget you.  Because you ran off with that hussy and left him a house in shambles and scads of smelly laundry to take care of.

Son Goku – is the man, okay, the boy who will never let you forget him.  Because he will whine, and whine, and whine to remind you that he needs you.  To feed him.

Genjo Sanzo – is the man you will do well to forget.  Because he is already taken.  By the previous three plus two dead characters.  He is not worth endangering your life and limbs for, especially against those three bloodthirsty youkai fighters!

Reviewers: My appreciation

kei: I told you so. Thx for reviewing anyway.

Ali: Wow, thx for the score. I don't think my English Lit. teacher would ever give me even a B++.  "CJ, why are you always male in your stories?" Yup. Old Willy even had a crush or two on a couple of the bishies who acted in his theatre troupe.  Life imitates art, I guess.  And he did write Twelfth Night. Hehe.

Radical Ed: Nice nick. I like the kid too, even if she's an anime girl (haha). The script-type dialogue is a gimmick, dear Ed, g.i.m.m.i.c.k.  It tricks guileless readers like you into reading the fic in the first place.

Tooboe luvs Tsume: I am only following the spirit of the original play. If you like yaoi that much, wait for my next fic. It is chock-full of wholesome angst and has hints (and much more!) of 2,3,4-way shonen-ai plastered all over it, while a real plot is actually going on in the background. (Shameless self-advertisements!) Btw, I like the Tsume x Tooboe pairing too, though Kiba x Tsume titillates me more.

No-name: Yes it's war! Hopefully all will emerge intact, except the rivals' dignity. *smiles wickedly*

koboreta: Because he was just there to fill in the shoes of Goku's suitor. Brings 5 and 3 together.

WTF???: This is a parody. P.A.R.O.D.Y.

UltraM2000: I'll try.  As promised, something special for Hakkai's role. I'm sorry I turned him into a her… but… can you resist old-green-eyes in high heels?

DMJewelle: Thank you! *bows* People tell me it's more sense of sarcasm, instead of sense of humor though.  

Triple X: I try to keep at least the 4 main guys in character. The others can go to the dogs. I accept all reviews, good, bad, or just. Reviews are the food we fanfic writers live on.   

"I feerrrrr rove friesssss" – Hyde in Love Flies.